Text Appeal

This is wild. You would think we were on a stadium kisscam with all the clapping and cheering. I can only assume they’ve had too much caffeine.

Connor holds out his hand to me. He pulls me to my feet, draws me in close, and whispers, “You okay with this, Riley?”

“We have to do it.”

He nods his acceptance, but he doesn’t look happy.

Every eye is on us. Even the child with the milkshake is slurping as she stares. Perverts and voyeurs—all of them. If they’re so desperate to see something, they should go watch porn like a normal person. Or for a hit of romance, I recommend the film or TV versions of Pride and Prejudice. Both are great. But no. The whole room waits on us with bated breath.

Connor leans down, and I reach up, and our mouths meet. A fleeting touch of warm lips, and we’re done. Okay. Good job. I tuck my hair behind my ears and face our audience with a smile. Only no one is smiling back. What with last night’s live sex show they were apparently expecting more. Much more.

“Pathetic,” says the barista, a young white man with a mullet and moustache.

An older lady wearing linen and pearls scoffs audibly. “I’ve seen cousins kiss with more passion.”

Shanti winces.

Ava’s friend is busy texting her heart out.

The worst thing, however, is how disappointed Harold seems. His gaze is both sad and confused. As if we have shaken his faith. Like he might just take back his speech. Shit.

Connor frowns. “Let’s go.”

“No. Wait.” We can do this. Though preparation is required first. I find a tube of lip balm in my purse and apply a generous coating. “Just give me a minute.”

“What on earth is she doing?” someone mutters.

Next, I down the remaining water from my glass. Anxiety is making me desert dry. The Sahara wishes it was me.

“Riley?” asks Connor, sounding bewildered.

There has been an assortment of first kisses in my life. From the good to the bad and the downright forgettable. But none quite like this. I turn to face my friend. “Can you come back down here for a second?”

He does as asked and I slide my hands around the back of his thick, muscular neck. Such smooth skin. Strands of soft hair brush against my knuckles. There’s definite curiosity in his eyes. But there’s trust there too. Strong hands hold my hips in a gentle grip, and we are a go for this performance. Though the closer we get, the less I care about who’s watching. It could be him and me alone for all I care.

If I’m going to do this, then I’m going to do it right this time. Audience or no.

I angle my head and press a gentle kiss against his lips. When he doesn’t step back or stop me, I do it again. Our warm breaths mingle and, opening my mouth a little, I bring the tip of my tongue into play.

He doesn’t need much encouragement. Bless the man. His hands wander freely, tracing the shape of me. From the curve of my hips to the line of my spine and column of my neck. The stroke of his tongue against mine is pure perfection. He tastes of mint toothpaste and coffee. And he isn’t afraid to use his teeth, biting lightly at my bottom lip.

My fingers tangle in his hair, holding him tight, just in case he tries to get away. Not that he’s showing any signs of wanting to run. Just the opposite. One hand sits directly above my ass, holding me against the hard lines of his body. While the other does the same thing, sitting between my shoulder blades. My head starts to spin and forget having to breathe. Someone should cancel all my life plans. Because I could happily do this forever and ever.

Shanti loudly clearing her throat brings me back to earth. No idea how long that’s been going on for. I break the kiss and come up for air. It takes me a moment to catch my breath.

Meanwhile, Connor stands dazed and confused with his hair mussed. It looks good on him. His pupils are dilated, and his lips are glossy, and the way he’s watching me…it’s like he’s seeing me for the first time. Strange, but true. He couldn’t seem more surprised if I slapped him with a wet fish. Nice to know I am not the only one affected. I knew we had chemistry. But this is wild.

“Now that’s what I was talking about,” says Harold, all enthused.

The barista lets loose a cheer.

I am not blushing. The room is just hot. There might be an actual fire happening in my panties. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me.

Shanti meanwhile is still trying to attract our attention and direct it toward the doorway where…oh fuck my life. Ava and Denise are standing, watching our shenanigans.

His mother already disliked me. Safe to say that won’t be changing anytime soon. Her mouth is hanging open like she’s learned the fine art of unhinging her jaw. Ava wears a bitter little line between her brows. When she notices the expression on her companion’s face, however, her gaze turns vaguely guilty. Which is interesting.

“C’mon,” says Connor, with a hand to my lower back.

We make our way through the maze of tables. Odds are this is going to suck. I straighten my spine and stand tall beside my fake boyfriend. As always, a few people are pretending not to listen, though most don’t bother to hide their interest.

Ava is holding on to the strap of her purse like it’s a lifeline. But she keeps her mouth shut for once. Seemed likely she chose the café thanks to her friend’s helpful texting. Now that she’s here, perhaps she’s decided she’s had her fill. I don’t blame her.

“Mom,” says Connor, taking hold of my hand.

“Connor.” Denise presses her palm to her chest. “What on earth?”

“It’s my fault, Dee.” Harold joins our party. “I encouraged the kids to kiss.”

Denise shoots him a look so dirty there’s no chance it will come out in the wash.

“We’re adults, Harold,” says Connor. “We make our own choices.”

“Then by all means, explain to me why you would choose to do that,” says Denise in a high voice. More of this and she might hyperventilate.

I open my mouth to defend him, but he gives my hand a squeeze.

“No,” he says in a calm voice. “We didn’t do anything wrong, Mom. You just don’t like who I am doing it with. But that’s your problem. Not mine.”

His mother gasps. A heroine in a Gothic romance standing on the precipice of a cliff shrouded in mist couldn’t do better. Such drama.

“She makes him happy.” Harold sighs. “When was the last time that happened?”

“Why don’t you take a seat, Denise?” Ava edges toward the counter. “I’ll get us some menus.”

“What? No,” says Denise. “You wanted to talk to him, honey. Now’s your chance. And you need to listen to what she has to say, Connor.”

But nope. Her son has had more than enough. He shakes his head and steers me around the two women toward the door.

Just when Denise seems set to lose her shit, Ava says, “This isn’t right. Please, Denise. Look at what’s happening. He can’t wait to get away from us, and I don’t blame him.”

Denise is stunned.

Behind me, Connor stops in surprise. His hand slips from mine and his face is a cool, careful blank. I doubt he knows what to think. I know I’m confused by this turn of events. I don’t know her well enough to trust that she’s being sincere, but it’s entirely possible. It’s also possible that this is part of a sinister new plan, so I’m not letting my guard down either.

She gives him a timid smile and he nods slowly. The look they share speaks of so many things. Shared history and lost love. But none of it is any of my business. This is the most complicated relationship I’ve ever been in—real or otherwise. Today is shaping up to be a great day to visit the local bakery and bury my feelings in cinnamon buns. Like an adult. Eat all my emotions and then some.

“Connor,” says Denise in a pleading tone. “Please don’t make the wrong choice like I did.”

Ouch. And what the hell, lady? Nothing he said about his father sounds even remotely like me.

“See you later, Mom,” says Connor.

Time to vacate the premises posthaste. I open the door and oh God yes, fresh air and a change of scenery. My shoulders slump in relief. The sky is blue, and the world is going about its business with nil drama, as far as I can see. “Are you okay?”

He nods. We cross the street to his waiting car, and he retrieves the keys from his pocket. “I’ll, ah, see you tonight at seven.”

“Sure.”

Then he climbs in his car and leaves.

I press my fingers against my lips. They’re still tingling from the kiss. Like the taste and feel of him has imprinted on me or something. I stand watching until his vehicle disappears around the corner. Which is not pathetic at all. He said six words to me. Seven, if you count the ah. We could have discussed the morning’s events for a minute. That would have been nice. But oh well.

So much for a slow start to the day. I am officially shook. Given everything, his abrupt departure is understandable. Sort of. The man obviously has a lot on his mind and so do I. Ava’s change in attitude is interesting. Guess we’ll see how long it sticks.

As for the matter of that knee-weakening kiss between Connor and me…if making out were part of the Miss Port Stewart competition, we’d take the crown.

Someone calls out my name from across the street. It’s the lady with the pearls and the kissing cousins. I think Shanti called her Diane. She wishes me a nice day and gives me a wave as she wanders over to a garden shop on the next block. Then Harold ambles out of the café with a frown on his face.

“You okay, honey?” he calls across the street.

I give him a thumbs up.

He nods and disappears back into the café.

Time for me to go inside. People are obviously watching. Hope they don’t think we had a fight. Though there’s little I could do to shift that perspective right now.

Life sure comes at you swiftly sometimes. But a salt breeze is blowing, and a seabird cries out up high in the blue sky. I love this. Being near the water soothes my soul. There’s a chance I am a little heartsore from everything that’s been happening. I am, however, happy here. It’s like the weight of all my worries has lessened. Moving here was scary, but I know in my bones that it was the right thing to do.

But as content as I am, I can’t help but wish that Connor hadn’t driven off so quickly. I start rubbing my breastbone with the heel of my hand. This must be how my heroine feels when things start to go sideways. When her heart starts to complicate things. When her head is full of him. Idiots in love is the theme of the book and me still standing here is absolutely giving that vibe.

I am an idiot for crushing on Connor. That fact has been beyond established. Though it doesn’t mean the experience can’t be useful. Ideas and dialogue are already filling my mind. The words are coming back thick and fast. My fingers need to get to the keyboard and there’s no time to waste. I head inside with a smile on my face.

Ava: That was awkward.

Me: Yeah.

Ava: Did you just send me a photo of your foot?

Me: You said you wanted photos.

Ava: Nice polish.

Me: I know right?

Ava: How long has Denise been like that?

Me: You mean how long’s she been Team Ava? You’d know more about that than me.

Ava: She always loved the idea of us together. Everyone does. But her energy was way off this morning.

Me: Yes, it was.

Ava: So?

Me: Ask Connor.

Ava: Is he talking to me?

Me: Ask him that too.

Ava: Why are you encouraging me to talk to your boyfriend?

Me: Because if all it takes to break us up is a conversation with you then we shouldn’t be together in the first place.

Ava: You’re in a mood.

Ava: I don’t need more shots of your feet. Stop it. Why do you always have to make things weird?

Me: Go away. I’m working.

The day is gone, and soft evening colors own the sky by the time I see him again. Connor’s standing beside the black mustang, his eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. He gives me an easy smile and says, “I would have come upstairs.”

“No need.”

“You look beautiful.” His blond hair is brushed back, and his navy linen suit is cut to perfection. How dare he. It’s honestly hard not to swoon. Brain chemicals are such a bitch. But I am determined to keep my heart and mind a respectful distance from the man. “Figured blue was a safe choice.”

“Thank you. And blue is always a safe choice with me.” In lieu of armor I am wearing my favorite. The Twilight dress from Reformation with tie straps, a square neckline, and a midi-length skirt. Sandal heels, a clutch, and dangling silver earrings finish the outfit. Nice but not trying too hard. Which is apparently an issue with school reunions. The things an online search can teach you. “You’re in a good mood. I wasn’t sure you would be.”

His smile falters. “Yeah. About this morning…”

I wait. And then I wait some more.

An elderly couple walking past with ice creams smile in greeting. Then a Porsche cruises past, followed by a tricked-out van. Port Stewart is a mix. A hodgepodge of people varying from rich retirees running from the heat down south in summer and the endless dark of the far northern winters. To locals living in everything from beach shacks and backwoods cabins to stately Victorian mansions that have been in the family for generations.

I want to fit in here. Connor already does. But despite being surrounded by friends and family and people he’s known forever—he’s lonely and unhappy. Which makes him prime angsty hero material. But not someone even remotely living their best life.

“I’m sorry for just leaving like I did,” he says eventually. “Sometimes it takes me a minute to catch up with things. But I’ve been thinking…”

“What about?”

He sighs and turns his head away. There’s a small to good chance I will pass of old age before he tells me what’s on his mind. “She she hated it when I got quiet. When I stopped talking.”

I wait.

“This is harder than I thought it would be. Telling you about Dad last night wasn’t so bad. It’s been years since that happened. But this is fresher. If I get it right with you though…” He truly is the king of open-ended sentences.

“By it do you mean communicating?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “This with you is an opportunity for me to get some things sorted out.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not great at working through stuff because that’s not something she and I did,” he explains. “There was this cycle. She’d come back and things would be great. Everyone was excited to see her, and I fucking loved having her home. But after a few weeks, sometimes a month or so, reality would start to creep back in, and the novelty wore off. She got bored being in town, and I was at work all day. I was too tired to go out every night and there was other shit that needed to be done. Laundry, groceries, helping Grandma or whatever. That’s when we’d start to fight and that’s when she’d leave.”

I don’t know what to say. Though it’s about what I expected given the little I knew about their history.

“Nic called it the recurring honeymoon.” He taps his fingers on the roof of the car. “I’m not supposed to know that. Lu overheard her and told me, the little jerk.”

I smile.

“You asked me once if I’d dated other people. The answer’s no. I’ve had sex with other people and occasionally hung out with them when I was single. The times when she and I were on a break. But you’re the only other person I’ve dated, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes with you that I did with her.” He exhales loudly. “That’s everything. I am finished talking now. Time for you to take over.”

“Um, Connor. I appreciate your honesty and with all due respect to your feelings—the last time I checked, we weren’t really dating.”

His mouth skews to the side. “But it kind of feels like it sometimes.”

“Okay.” My eyes must be as wide as dinner plates. “I know you said you were done talking, but I’m going to need you to explain that last one to me.”

“Fuck me.” He groans. “This would be so much easier if you could just read my mind.”

“We lack the technology.”

“Yeah. Probably for the best.” He scratches at a hint of stubble on his cheek. “What I’m trying to say, Riley, is that this is the first time I’ve really had to get to know someone on this level. Have had to figure out what they want from me. Outside of bed. You know what I mean…”

“Maybe. Are you suggesting there’s a level of intimacy to what we’re doing?”

He nods.

“Do you talk about any of this stuff with your friends?”

“No.”

“You just bottle it all up inside and let it fester until it’s a toxic mess of emotions, huh?”

He thinks it over. “Pretty much. And hey, it’s worked so far.”

“Has it though? Has it really?”

“Look, I know we’re just friends and we haven’t known each other that long,” he says. “But a minute after I left here this morning, I started worrying about you, and it hasn’t really stopped.”

“You worried about me?”

“Mostly about how I’d put you in another shitty situation. I’m worried you’re going to wind up hating me.”

“Are you referring to the kiss or the thing with your ex and your mom?”

“The second one,” he says. “I thought the kiss was okay.”

“You did, huh?”

“Wait.” He narrows his gaze on me. “Did you not?”

“Let me think about that and circle back to you.”

He frowns. “Okay, well, I was worried you’d definitely had enough of the bullshit this time and wouldn’t want to go with me tonight, which would suck because I like being with you.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. That’s nice.”

“I surprised you,” he says with a smile.

“You did. Your inner workings are frankly fascinating, dude. Bravo.”

“Thank you.” He stands tall. “Communicating with you isn’t so bad.”

“Fake couple goals.”

“We so are.”

A woman jogging by gives us a wave. Joyce drives past in a hatchback, honking her horn. Socializing out on the street on a Saturday night seems to be the thing around here.

“I appreciate you sharing all of this with me,” I say. “Trusting me with these things.”

“Sure.” He gives me a long look. And once again I have no idea what it means. But then he walks around the car and opens the passenger side door. “So, what do you say? Want to go to my high school reunion and make everybody jealous of our amazing fake relationship?”

I smile. “I would love to.”