Tanner (Dirty Misfits MC Book 5)

I heard the softest commotion outside while I lounged in the tub, attempting to shave my legs. It was hard to concentrate, though, especially with thoughts of Cheyenne’s safety running through my mind. It felt like days had passed, when really it was almost time to go get Cheyenne from her sleepover.

And it worried the hell out of me that we might be tracked.

I still wasn’t sure what I needed to do, though. While part of me wanted to stay with Tanner, the bulk of me wanted to go with my daughter. I mean, I knew we’d both be safe. Sloane was a stickler with me when it came to carrying some sort of concealed firearm around, just in case. And with the training she had to endure in order to work with the Santa Barbara police department, I knew she could take whatever was thrown her way.

I just didn’t know, and I wished someone would tell me what the fuck to do.

Doors slammed all around me, but I tried to block it out. I shaved my legs, cleaned myself up, and took a hot bath until the water turned lukewarm. I turned on the shower very quickly to wash my hair and my body down, then I wrapped myself up in one of the most luxurious towels I’d ever held against my body.

Before Tanner came charging in my room.

“What a fucking numbskull!” he bellowed.

My eyes widened as he slammed the door behind him.

“Brooks is just—fuck!”

He punched the wall, leaving a massive hole that allowed me to see the electrical wiring behind it.

“It didn’t have to be this way, you know!?” he roared.

I slowly raised my hand. “Uh, Tanner?”

His eyes met mine before they dropped to my body. “Shit.”

I snickered. “Could you give me a few minutes to get dressed?”

But all he did was turn around. “He’s an absolute maniac sometimes, and a fucking hypocrite twenty-four-seven.”

I sighed. “I’m sure he is.”

A fist pounded against our door before Brooks yelled, “I can hear you, man!”

Tanner ripped the door open. “Get the fuck away from her room now.”

“Can I at least get dressed in peace, please!?” I shrieked.

Both of the guys stared at me before Tanner clapped his hand over Brooks’ eyes. And after the two of them stepped out into the hallway, I let my tears fall. I rushed over to the door and locked it for good measure, then slumped against it as water from my hair dripped endlessly down my back.

And when the commotion in the hallway ceased, only Tanner’s voice remained.

“I’m sorry for letting you see me like that, Summer.”

I shook my head softly. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you be genuine with me in I don’t know how long, Tanner. Don’t be sorry for it. Just talk to me instead of punching holes in my damn walls, yeah?”

He sighed. “I’ll just shut my mouth.”

“No, no, no. Shutting your mouth is what got us into this mess in the first place. You were never one to open up, but if you want things to be different between us then you have to start doing different things.”

“I guess you’re right.”

I giggled. “I know I’m right. So, what’s going on? What did Brooks do to piss you off?”

He sighed. “Just… being a hypocrite.”

“How?”

I heard him stand to his feet. “He just is, okay?”

So, I stood to my feet. “And I’m asking how. What made him such a hypocrite in your eyes?”

“Everything, Summer!”

“Then tell me what ‘everything’ is!”

He growled. “Whatever. Get dressed, we have to go get Cheyenne soon.”

I ripped the door open, not caring who saw me in my towel. “If you think for one second I’m going to ever entertain the idea of letting you back into my life without some things changing, then you’ve got another thing coming.”

He whipped around to face me. “And who said I wanted to be back in your life?”

His words took the breath from my lungs. “Well, if you want to be part of Cheyenne’s life, that means being part of mine, too.”

“Oh, so now I have to jump through hoops in order to be the father you never allowed me to be because you never told me about her in the first place?”

My nostrils flared with fury. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say any of that shit, because if I don’t then I’m leaving you in the dust and you’ll never get to meet your daughter. What I’m saying is—”

He waved his hand at me. “Whatever. You’ll just do what you want anyway.”

“Tanner! Come back!”

I stepped out into the hallway just as he spun around once more. “There are things with this club that you don’t need to know. Things I’ll never tell you, just like your sister probably has things about her job she’ll never be able to tell anyone, either. That’s just how it is. Brooks is a hypocrite, but I can’t tell you why because that’s top secret.”

I scoffed. “You’re part of a motorcycle crew, not the FBI. Nothing is top secret.”

He glared at me. “It is if I say it is, and if you don’t like that then you’re always welcome to go with Cheyenne to Sloane’s.”

I shook my head. “Don’t mind if I do, then.”

I charged back into my bedroom before he called out after me. “I didn’t mean it like that, Summer.”

I slammed the door behind me and locked it before he could come in. “I’m only going to say this once, so listen up: you’re good. Whatever you want to do, you’re golden. But if you want me and Cheyenne in your life? In whatever capacity you wish? Then, you need to stop throwing up walls and open up to us. Both of us. Because if you can’t do that, you’ll never make a decent partner and you sure as hell won’t make a good father. And you can take my word to the bank on that.”

Silence fell between us and I figured he had left. But as I dried off my hair and picked out my clothes for the day, his softer voice filtered through the closed door.

“I wanted to say so many things to you at The Body Shop.”

I paused. “Then, why didn’t you say them?”

He chuckled. “Because we were working. Because I didn’t have a right to tell you how sexy you looked, or how much I hated the fact that you were working there.”

“Ah.”

“I didn’t have the guts to tell you that I always wanted to protect you. To shroud you away from the darkness of this world while also being your light within it.”

I blinked back tears. “Well, you had a hell of a way of showing it since you acted like you barely knew me.”

“I know, I know. And I’m not proud of it. Hell, I even told the guys that it was none of their business when a couple of them caught me staring at you.”

“Wow. Nice,” I said flatly.

“All of this to say,” he said with grit in his voice, “they are my brothers, sure. Family, always. But they don’t need to know how hung up I am over a girl that completely left me in high school.”

I swallowed hard. “I told you what happened with my—”

“Doesn’t matter. It still hurts. After everything we went through and all of the times you stuck it to your parents before sneaking out to come be with me, it never occurred to me that you’d roll over and take it from them.”

I clenched my jaw. “You’re walking on thin ice. I did what I thought was best not only for myself, but for you and the child I was growing at the time. You don’t get to throw that in my face.”

He picked the lock on my door before he eased it open. “And you don’t get to throw this entire crew and it’s secrets in my face because of racing thoughts you’re having that you still can’t settle on.”

I searched his eyes for a long time as I stood there, clad in nothing but my bra and some jeans. I quickly pulled a t-shirt over my head and flopped my still-damp hair down my back. I gathered it at the crown of my head quickly before it soaked my shirt, then tied it in a wet, messy bun with the hair tie I had around my wrist.

And after gathering what I wanted to say, I drew in a deep breath.

“There’s a lot of history between us, yes. Lots of it good, and some of it bad. And yes, some of the bad was caused by me. But I told you what happened. My father was ruthless in the gauntlet he threw down with me, and when he told me that he’d force me to put our child up for adoption, I knew he was serious. I knew he’d find a way to do it. It’s why I ran away from home the second I was old enough. The second I had my diploma in my hand, I packed my shit up in the middle of the night, left a note for my sister with a burner phone number on it, and drove to Jackie’s.”

He sighed heavily. “How is Jackie doing?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. We sort of grew apart after I saved up enough money to get my own little place.”

His eyes locked with the wall over my shoulder. “Gotcha.”

I closed my eyes. “I think it might be best if I go with Cheyenne to Sloane’s.”

He snickered. “Suit yourself. I know there’s no point in trying to reason with you.”

My eyes ripped open. “Why? Because you believe I’m stubborn? Or because you know I’m right?”

He turned his back to me. “Then, go ahead and get your things packed up.”

I shrugged. “I deserve someone who will fight for me, Tan.”

He stepped out into the hallway. “And if you can’t see that I’m doing exactly that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together at all.”

I watched him walk away and my heart sank to my toes. All of my hopes and dreams swirled down the drain that had all come rushing back the second I heard his voice call out my name yesterday. Knowing we were still in the same town together had to be a sign, right? Seeing him at the club and him working to help all of these girls had to be a sign of his heart, right?

I can’t lose him. Not again.

So, I rushed out into the hallway and blurted out the only thing I knew would stop him in his tracks.

“I never stopped loving you, Tanner!”

And while it stopped him in his tracks, it stopped everyone else, too.

Then, all eyes were on us.