Tanked

I feel I was destined to be damned and drowned.

My life in the sea honestly wasn’tgreat. Sure, technically I held a court position as the future king’s servant but really? I was a servant. My entire life. Synris was nice enough, sure. But merfolk, my people, are physical people and social, things I wasn’t. So, add up unsocial, awkward, and an unsupportive and neglectful family and you would have the deep, dark self-drowning mess that was me.

Best thing that happened to me? My son and only babe, Azalyss.

Yes, I asked how he ended up with a royal name too. His father, Synris, picked it, not me. Thankfully, Synris adores him and insists even now that he loves both our babe and me.

For a little while, the watery cage didn’t seem all that bad. Maybe I could’ve gotten used to it, maybe I already had. Besides, my babe would be safe at least right? That’s all that mattered.

Well how about no? It seems that’s not what the gods of the abyss had planned for me.

After I struck Jackie, I honestly should’ve known something was wrong when the other divers came to feed us. I should have known before that even. They acted so strangely. Of course, I didn’t figure it out until too late. That night, just after Synris and I laid beside Azalyss, several divers came and tore me away.

I had no clue why or what was happening. Honestly, all that registered in my mind was Azalyss crying for me. Now I know Synris kept his promise to me. He couldn’t get me away from the divers and keep them away from Azalyss. I’m happy, actually happy strangely, to say he chose Azalyss, that he kept his final promise to me.

They took Ayrice from us. It was all I could do to keep them away from Azalyss. Maybe ten or more came and just tore Ayrice away from me. But it was Ayrice or Azalyss.

I sighed as I held Azalyss. He hadn’t stopped whimpering and honestly, I wanted to do the same myself, but I knew I couldn’t, not in front of him.

“Hush, it’ll be all right. Momma will be back,” I rocked him gently, trying my best to calm him. I needed to take care of him.

“When!?” Azalyss looked at me, for a moment daring to be hopeful.

“...I don’t know,” I mumbled.

I swear I saw his heart break in his eyes. He buried his face in my chest again and shook silently for a while. I felt like a failure as a father already. I had let them both down, the only two good things in my life.

Honestly, I felt his scream building in his chest, but when he actually let it out, I was surprised I still had my hearing. I don’t think I would have been able to handle hearing such a sound if I hadn’t been a siren myself.

Azalyss screamed so loud. It echoed in the water and I watched as the clear wall cracked above us. The same moment the fish stopped, the sound stunning and killing most. All from his scream. That was more power than even I had.

There was nothing I could do though, so I sat there and rocked him, rubbing his back as he went back to whimpering and screeching his grief at the situation loudly.

I had messed up a lot with Ayrice. A lot. The truth was I had loved him from the very first time I met him. He had been so cute and young; I had wanted nothing more than his attention. He had never wanted to give it to me though, and I had spent years trying to tease him and coax him to my side. Then I really messed up. I forced him to pay attention to me. I wasn’t good to him like I should have been. I couldn’t even keep him safe.

But I refused to do that with Azalyss. That’s why I never let go of him, not even as I watched the human panic outside the clear wall, or as they freaked with all the dead fish. I wouldn’t mess up again. I would keep our babe safe. I would do this one thing right if nothing else.

Maybe some of it was just being numb. I was numb. The only thing I had to cling to was Azalyss. I knew something was wrong, very wrong, but I couldn’t care. I didn’t feel anything, just empty without Ayrice. There was nothing that could make it any worse.

But Azalyss. He needed me. I promised Ayrice I wouldn’t let anything happen to him and I was keeping that promise. If I broke every other promise I’ve made or will make, this one would be the one I keep. Our son, my babe, would be alright even if it meant I wasn’t. I promised Ayrice and I was not messing up again.

So, I held him, refusing to let go. Just like I did when I saw I couldn’t get to Ayrice and keep Azalyss safe at the same time.

It killed me to see they’d already separated us and that I couldn’t get to him. But they were trying to take Azalyss too. I knew Ayrice would kill me and would rather die than know I’d let the divers take our son just to save him. Just like I know I’d feel the same way if roles had been reversed.

It felt like no time at all before the divers came back though. They were afraid to get close to Azalyss and I this time at least.

Every time they came near us, I growled and bared my fangs, pulling Azalyss closer. It kept the divers at bay for a while, but one finally was dumb enough to actually come close. He was too far away to bite still so I struck him with my tail. His six other human companions freaked when he didn’t move right away.

I didn’t kill him. They saw that on the way to the surface with him. He was just stunned and likely in shock. Apparently, that wasn’t enough to keep them all away.

More came back but this time they used a trick to keep their distance. A net. I still refused to let go of Azalyss as he cried in fear now. It wasn’t fun and of course it was a mess as I tried to get us both out of the net but couldn’t. The humans dragged us up to the surface and out of the watery cage.

I knew how futile it was to struggle like I was, but I couldn’t give up, not when Azalyss was at risk as well. I had to keep him safe. This was my babe. I had promised Ayrice. My mate. I couldn’t mess up again.

But an idea came to me then, “Azalyss. Babe, Azalyss listen to me. Stop crying and be quiet. Come on I need your help.”

“How is not crying going to help!? Nothing will help!!” He was clinging impossibly tight to me, scared. I didn’t blame him. Truth was I had been scared too.

“Hush, babe. It will. Hush, hush. I need you to calm down so you can help me please. Come on Azalyss, I need you to help me,” I pleaded with him. It was a long shot, but it was our best chance.

He managed to calm himself, so he was just sniffling.

“There we go. Good. Alright, I need your help, it’s important. Listen to the humans, what are they saying?” I asked.

“How is this going to help!!?” He started crying again.

“No, no, Azalyss knock it off. Trust me it will just stop crying and tell me what’s being said.” I growled without meaning too.

It worked though, he quieted and started listening to them. I felt bad for scaring him too, but this was our chance. Our only chance and I couldn’t let it go. We were out of the cage and I could see the sky. For a moment I wondered how long it had been since last I saw it. I felt bad that the first time Azalyss saw it was tainted with such fear, but maybe... Just maybe one day he would see it like I did, and I could tell him the stories my parents used to tell me about it, that I had told to Ayrice long ago too.