Tanked

My dorsal fin would never grow back but at least it was healing. Fortunately, the fish didn’t pick on me for it either. It had been a few weeks since Synris ripped it off and he was being somewhat more patient with me. He didn’t growl at me so much anymore, but he still didn’t like me it seemed.

Unfortunately, merfolk pregnancies are long and taxing. We show early on, about four months in, and then look like pufferfish until the babe is born...a year later. And the best part is: My pregnancy would be longer since as a male, I’m not properly equipped to nurse a babe. So, the pregnancy takes longer as the babe develops farther and is finally born with the ability to eat regular food. But that’s why Synris was only able to tolerate me at best. I’m notably clumsier and rather ungraceful with things now and I’m on his nerves because of it.

I still am unable to get comfortable on my back or sides and so I haven’t slept at all. I’ve kept up on eating though. Finally, exhaustion won out and I felt like I would sink like a stone as soon as I closed my eyes, but I was so scared to lay down. The fish hadn’t picked on me yet but considering my luck... I didn’t want to take the chance.

“S-synris...” It was the first time I had spoken since he tore my dorsal fin off. He only spoke to me to give commands, so I hadn’t had a reason to until now.

I know he heard me; he wasn’t too far from me.

“What?” He sounded annoyed just from having to hear me. Looking at me caused his face to contort with disgust.

I think I heard my heart break. “I’m tired...p-please...” I mumbled.

“Then take a nap,” He hissed and turned away from me.

I nodded to myself, feeling the pieces of my heart crumble and fall away. I had no other options, so I went to the small and sad excuse of a cave the tank had and crawled in, curling in on myself in a last desperate attempt to feel somewhat safe again.

It didn’t work well. I was scared one of the larger fish would realize Synris wouldn’t protect me so long as I was pregnant and that they would take a chunk out of my still exposed tail. I started whimpering at the thought. All I wanted now was for Synris to at least act like he cared.

Hadn’t he been the one to first say we weren’t royal and servant anymore? It didn’t matter. I should’ve known he was only saying things. Just like I should’ve known just to stay with Zephic and Salo. He didn’t love me at all, he was just bored, and I was his only option. He liked playing but only when the game went his way. Well this was his fault. He should have known too what his games would lead to, so this was as much his fault, if not entirely his, as it was mine. It wasn’t fair that I was being punished for the things he made me do.

My whimpers had turned to screams and hisses. I was shaking and trembling so much I’m surprised I didn’t create waves in the cage. It seemed all the emotions I had bottled up throughout my life had broken free and now that I had started, I couldn’t find the cork to cap the bottle again. At least I was able to fall asleep, screaming myself out.

I have no idea how long I slept but when I woke, I felt so much better and I had come to a decision. I was nervous but... I had to do it and I wasn’t waiting this time. I stretched out some and yawned, watching the air bubble I made rise and disappear over the kelp stalks.

Kelp stalks? I had fallen asleep in the shallow cave.

I wasn’t in the cave though and I realized finally the wall I had just pushed myself against was actually Synris. The small smile I had fell the same instant as I went stiff. He didn’t hit me though and instead scooted back so he had room to start rubbing my lower back with those magic hands.

It was so, so very tempting to relax and go back to my tropic paradise. I wanted to believe him, believe that he cared for me and loved me but every time I started to trust him, he snapped. If it had been just me, I would have closed my eyes again and gone back to being blissfully blind.

But it wasn’t just me anymore and I had already decided.

“Why are we whimpering now?” His voice was soft as he moved to hold me like he loved me again.

I snarled this time and moved away before he could grab me. I wasn’t taking this anymore. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t play this game; I wouldn’t close my eyes.

“Take a guess. Your majesty.” I hissed.

“Ayrice... This isn’t the ocean. Come on, it’s just Synris. You know that,” He looked hurt and confused, like he didn’t understand why I was so upset.

Good. If the stupid slug of a prince was really that oblivious then clearly, I had given him too much credit previously.

“Really? Because you have sure been acting like it! Oh, we aren’t in the ocean so let’s just make Ayrice think someone might actually care about him and then as soon as he believes it, throw the sand in his eyes again! You only care when you get your way! But you know what? We aren’t in the ocean! So, I don’t have to give you your way! I am not taking this anymore! You’ve proven you don’t care so just stay away from me!” I snarled at him and turned to swim away from him.

I really couldn’t stop him if he had other ideas though. Like now, as he easily caught me and grabbed me. I hissed and thrashed.

“Ayrice! I messed up; I know! I’m sorry okay? Ayrice please!” Synris pleaded but I knew better now. I wasn’t falling for any trick he would try to play.

“Messed up? You’re sorry? Abyss yes you messed up but sorry doesn’t bring my dorsal fin back now does it, Prince?” I hissed at him, daring to bare my fangs at him too as I continued to thrash and try to get away from him.

It was no use. He was bigger, stronger, and now angry with me. He grabbed my hair and pinned my head to the sandy floor again, snarling back as I tried to hit him with my tail.

“What’s gotten into you? I said sorry already and I’m trying to make it up to you!” Synris hissed, upset now too.

“Saying sorry is different than being sorry you stupid slug! You know what? I’m sorry too! I’m sorry you couldn’t keep your fins to yourself! I’m sorry you’re not ready to face the consequences of having a child with me! I’m sorry you still think it’s okay to beat me and I’m really sorry you can’t even act like you care even the slightest bit about me! Now get OFF!” I screamed and managed to give him a hard smack to the side of the head with my tail. “If you’re sorry you’d take a hint and STAY AWAY FROM ME!”

He let go, too shocked to be a blowhole about it. I left him there in the cloud of sand and went to hide in the back of the cage.

That was how the rest of my pregnancy went. I wanted nothing to do with Synris and whenever he even tried to ask how I felt or do anything for me I shot him down and sent him away with growls and snarls. If he got close enough, I hit him with my tail. I refused to say anything to him and as I got closer to having the babe, I began talking to them instead.

Maybe I was getting lonely but mostly I think I wanted to make sure my babe knew they at least had me... a... a mother...something I never really got. At the very least I wanted to try and make sure they knew someone loved them.

When I began to really need sleep, I moved from the tank floor up to the water’s surface. I used the kelp to make a nest of sorts and wished I had thought of it sooner. I could actually get comfortable up here and if for any reason I ended up needing more air I was right under the water’s surface. It was actually kind of nice. And it was easier to bat Synris away. The fish and he couldn’t see or touch me, and it was easy to smack anything that came too close. The humans left me alone at least and only the ones on the metal above could see me, so it wasn’t so bad.

Steadily moving got harder and I got lazier and slower. The divers began to bring my food to me. One of them in particular started investing more time with me. He took advantage of the fact that I wasn’t going to move unless I had too.

At one point he brought me a human brush, it looked very odd, and did a weird thing with my hair while I was half asleep and too tired to move. He left the brush with me after that. He bribed me to stay put with food too so that was also why I tolerated him.

His second gift to me was a nest of woven material. It was much more comfortable than the kelp, larger and stronger too. I wasn’t initially very keen to move into it, but he put all my food in the center of it so finally I did and hm no it was nice, and I was staying. Besides, at that point I barely cared and only wanted food. We couldn’t understand each other though so I did the only thing I could think of. I pressed my forehead to his, at least I’m fairly sure it was his forehead since human torsos are the same as mers mostly and puffed a short breath out my nose. As far as I knew it was the universal sign of gratitude and so I imagine he understood.

The same diver, whose features I was slowly piecing out through the face piece he wore, always brought my food then. He liked to talk to me though I understood only the word ‘food’. I humored him and occasionally said something back, knowing he didn’t understand me either. Usually I just made a noise or huffed, and it seemed to make him just as happy. He was okay, tolerable at least since he never came into my nest and if I really didn’t want to deal with him, I could just curl up in the middle and he would leave.

That was how things went, then finally the babe arrived.