Six of Ruin (Heirs of Irenwell #1)

The next obvious step was drinking myself into oblivion. With each gulp, pain eased a little, promising to come back with vengeance. But I couldn’t stop. Not when I kept on wondering whether I did the right thing, wondering whether I gambled my chance at happiness away.

What Rixen did not understand about me was just how deep my flaws ran. Back in Irenwell, I was safe and protected and had everything I could ever wish for.

Out here, in the middle of nowhere, I’d never be safe. And I wondered whether a part of me would hate him if I allowed him to take all of that away from me.

So, I played it safe. He thought he was in love with me, but it was merely infatuation. If he actually spent time with me, he’d realise we weren’t meant to be together. This was a flaw in the universe, a residue from a twisted spell, it shouldn’t have happened.

I was still young; I had no idea how tough life would get. There was no need to complicate things so early on.

Then, why did I feel my heart cracking with each breath I took?

“What time is it?” Ace suddenly lifted his head, waking up from his drunken slumber. Immediately, he grabbed another flagon and swigged.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “It’s not midnight yet.”

“Fuck, my head hurts.” The mage grunted.

“That’s because you drank half the tavern.” I mumbled.

Ace looked at me sideways, his green eyes slightly more sober now, “It’s our last night in the Spirit territory.”

A laugh fell off my lips, “I’m aware, old man.”

“You call me old an awful lot.”

“You deserve way harsher insults.” I said.

“Fair enough.” Ace shrugged, then looked at me again. “When you’re as old as I am, you give up on wishing for eternity.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I took a sip of my fruity drink, briefly wondering whether we even had something similar in Irenwell.

Ace shifted in his seat, “When you’re young, you have illusions of eternity. You hope for a love that would last a lifetime, unbreakable friendships and eternal happiness. As you grow older, you realise nothing is permanent. Love dies, friendships break and happiness is a fleeting emotion.”

“It’s more complicated than that.” I shook my head, not in the mood to discuss my love life with a drunk mage who hadn’t had a shower in two months.

“No, it’s not.” Ace ordered another drink with a spin of his finger. “Just because something won’t last forever doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen.”

Whether I wanted it or not, the words carved themselves into my mind. Breaking down in front of a seven-hundred-year-old mage at the edge of the world wasn’t something I thought would ever happen to me, but there I was, blubbering like a baby, unable to breathe in.

“You shouldn’t eavesdrop on my conversations.” I reprimanded, drinking down the tears and the lump in my throat.

Ace simply raised his eyebrow, “Maybe you shouldn’t have your conversations in front of me. Go, it’s your last night in the Spirit territory.”

I wiped the tears off my face, grabbed my satchel and ran.

Just because something won’t last forever doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen.

The most beautiful things in life weren’t permanent; my mother’s smile, my father’s eye roll, frost lingering on the strands of grass, the Star of Orath illuminating the dark, midnight sky.

I ran up the stairs of the wooden Inn, following some inner instinct.

I knocked on Rixen’s door, feeling his presence on the other side, my heart beating rapidly in my throat.

“Come in.” His voice sounded way too strained.

I burst through, almost stumbling. The room was plain, nothing but a bed, a small washing sink, and an open balcony. Rixen stood there, looking over the huge stone wall at the ruin-littered valley and the army of spirits still lingering, waiting for us to come out. But it didn’t matter now, nothing mattered now.

Moonlight fell all over him, emphasizing the crevices and dents of pale scars on his naked torso, breaking over his smooth muscles. I walked over, too aware of my movements.

Rixen didn’t look at me; black hair covered his eyes. I raised my hand and brushed it aside. His skin was warm under my fingers, much warmer than the midnight air. He gripped the wooden fence, his muscles tensing.

I breathed in, chilly air sliding down my throat, “Just because something won’t last forever doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen.”

Rixen’s hands snaked around my waist and he pulled me closer, until my forehead rested on his shoulder and I snuggled into his clavicle. His fingers left hot trails all over my back, simultaneously sending shivers down my spine.

I kissed his neck and felt him stiffen under the slight touch. He smelled like dew in the early morning and I breathed in, consciously forcing my mind to remember everything about him. Rixen’s palms treaded lower, down to my butt, while I left soft kisses all over his neck and his jaw. I felt his heartbeat under my lips.

“Everyone can see us.” Rixen mumbled and grabbed my butt cheeks, pulling them slightly apart, causing a tremble in my legs.

“Let them.”

My lips found his, warm and soft against the raw need building within my stomach. The delicious aftertaste of fruity liquor on his tongue made me nudge his lips further apart with mine. His coarse, rasping breath tickled my lips.

Rixen pulled me closer, leaning me against his strong, naked body. His skin radiated warmth I could feel through the thin fabric of my dress. Hands trailing up and down my body, lips leaving mine to kiss my neck, the brush of his hair strands on my forehead made me want to lose myself.

Need built up between my thighs. Rixen pulled up the hem of my dress, chilly air kissing my exposed skin. His warm fingers began fiddling with my lingerie, a determined, focused glint shining in his eyes.

“How the fuck...?” His brows furrowed and I laughed out loud. I did not sound relaxed, no, every particle of my body was charged and strained and expectant. “How do you unclasp these?”

I slapped his hand away, covering my fear with nonchalance, and unclasped the intricate garment. Rixen let go of my dress and cupped my breasts, drawing a moan from my lips. The fabric fell over my nakedness, causing a butterfly-soft touch.

My, now drenched, lingerie remained in my hands and not knowing where to put it, I flung it through the open door, aiming for the bed. Rixen let out a short laugh.

“What? It got in the way.” I planted a soft kiss on his open mouth and grabbed the band of his black pants. Anticipation built up in my spine as I touched the warm bulge hidden behind the black fabric. Rixen smiled against my lips while I pulled his pants down and took him in my hand. He was hot and strong and hard and I loved the raspy, throaty sounds that fell off his lips.

I was also scared out of my fucking mind, especially when he grabbed my hand, brought it to his lips and looked into my eyes, sending every flickering emotion down our connection.

Rixen’s hands trailed down my butt cheeks, to my thighs, and he lifted me off the ground in one swift move. My back leaned against the cold, stone wall of the Inn. Anyone could see us, but I didn’t care.

Rixen kissed me fully on the lips, opening my mouth with his tongue. I remained clasped between the cold wall and his warm body. My dress gathered around my waist, revealing everything to him, and he took a moment to look at me.

It was the love in his eyes that scared me the most. The intensity, the impact, the weight of that shimmering emotion clenched around my heart. Rixen spread my thighs apart and thrust.

My eyelids fluttered, my heart skipped a beat and a wave of raw desire flooded me. A moan fell off my lips, needy and wanton, coated in thick, indescribable emotion. We fell into the rhythm quickly; the sounds leaving our lip too loud for the balcony. Rixen’s hand explored my body; my hair, my breasts, my belly, between my thighs, while his other hand supported me against the wall.

Our minds intertwined, the experience stranger than all other times I’ve intruded his thoughts. I saw myself, my moonlit body, plump lips and fluttering eyes staring at him with desire. I saw what he wanted to do to me, every way he wanted to make love to me, and it made me tremble.

“Fuck.” I breathed out, the sheer intensity almost pushing me over the edge.

“Right back at you.” The shadowman slipped out of me and leaned against the wetness between my thighs. His hands gripped me harder, he pushed us off the wall and carried me inside, to the bedroom.

I plopped on the bed and I crawled over to the edge, the harsh fabric scratching against my knees. With my butt in the air and Rixen casually strolling towards the bed, I felt exposed in the best possible way. I wanted him to do whatever he pleased.

He must have felt it, too, because he laughed shortly, “Is that what you want, Princess?”

“Don’t shame me, shadowman.”

“Never.” He yanked my hips back and thrust inside me from behind. The intrusion was almost too much. I winced at the slight pain, feeling him deeper than before.

I pushed my upper body off the bed and Rixen grabbed my breasts with both hands. Moans slipped off my lips, growing louder and faster with the rhythm of the thrusts. A rain of kisses fell over my back, between my shoulder blades, up my neck. Rixen’s hand trailed down my abdomen, to the nub between my thighs.

I was going to explode. My being would shatter in two and Irina that would eventually return to Irenwell wouldn’t be whole. A part of me would stay here forever, entangled in his thoughts and his sheets, begging for unreachable permanence.

Rixen’s own breaths turned shorter and shallower and he began to pull out when I grabbed his hands and held him firmly in place, “It’s fine. I’m still on Fae silphium.”

His movements ceased for a moment and I felt him stiffen inside of me, “Are you sure?”

“I’m a proper lady, Rixen, I’d never have a baby out of wedlock.”

The shadowman laughed, “I fucking adore you.”

The truth and rawness of his words slammed into me, combined with his thumb on the nub between my thighs, his palm against my throat, and him inside of me. It pushed me over the edge.

Emotions overwhelmed me, fear ceased and exhilaration prevailed, taking me through the blissful moment. I didn’t know whose orgasm I felt, mine or his, but it was the strongest of my entire life.

We collapsed on the bed, our limbs entangled, sweat coating our skin, and deep, ragged breaths leaving our lips.

I smiled, feeling strangely fulfilled, “I think I’m glad I went on this journey, after all.”

Rixen lay on his back beside me and grinned, “Thank you.”

“Don’t you dare take all credit for it.” I warned.

“Oh, no, this was all you.” The shadowman’s cheeky grin warmed up my heart. “Are you tired?”

“Uh-huh.” I mumbled, glad to finally sleep on the bed. “Get on your side, I don’t like to cuddle.”

“Seriously?” Rixen snickered.

“Good night.” I turned to the side, now facing the wall.

Silence settled between us, thick and expectant. Tomorrow loomed over us like an unavoidable ghost, reminding us of reality. I shivered, knowing I was about to inflict more pain to the dying body.

“Rixen?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

Ignoring my remarks about cuddling, Rixen turned me around and pulled me in his arms. He said nothing and I didn’t complain. If I’d never do this with him again, I might as well spend the night cuddling.

The warmth of his body lulled me to sleep, but not before a few stray, nameless tears escaped my eyes, promising heartbreak.