Six of Ruin (Heirs of Irenwell #1)

The cave seemed to go on forever. Other than the small torch Danilo carried, the place was completely dark. No one could see the tears falling down my cheeks.

The blatancy of my own mistakes cracked my heart in two. I held on to the idea of being a princess for so long I did not know how to be anything other than that. Perhaps I wasn’t capable of being anything other than that.

A witch, Ace said. Diablerie. Something lying, manipulative.

No, a coward.

I lied to myself, which is what cowards did.

“We’re near.” Rixen murmured, his voice strained and exhausted. “The air is getting warmer.”

We were all exhausted, especially after having to share our deepest, darkest secrets with each other. The encounter with Liu Raj left us naked and exposed. Our relationships strained to the brink of cracking. Whatever companionship we’ve build hung by a threat.

I couldn’t look into anyone’s eye anymore. I wanted to talk to Rixen, but Danilo was currently too pissed off to risk it, and I knew he’d hate me if he saw me conspiring with the bastard again. On the other hand, a part of me felt like I was betraying myself by pushing Rixen away.

A beam of light appeared on the moist ground, coming from around the corner. I lifted my head, feeling the warm air Rixen mentioned.

“Sunshine.” I muttered. “It’s dawning.”

“Perfect time to go to sleep.” Ace yawned. “You get one day of rest and then we must continue. If the sellswords intend to cross that lake, it’s going to take them some time.”

We rushed towards the light at the end of the cave, eager for something positive, even if it was only dawning sun. The scarce light blinded me the moment I left the dark, moist shelter.

Birds chirped all around, their song lulling my heart into serenity. Small animals ran around, creating rustling, cracking and breaking sounds. A waterfall gurgled somewhere near, sliding over the rocks in a calm, caressing manner, like the water did not try to break, but soothe. The smell of fruits, leaves and dew filled my nostrils. The air was brisk and fresh.

And finally, my eyesight adjusted to the light.

Violet, rose-coloured and orange hues fell all over the deep green grass. The tall trees stood proudly, almost touching the morning, peacefully-blue skies. The morning dew made everything shine as far as the eye could see. The snow sparkled on the mountaintops; the water shimmered in the large, pristine waterfall. Everything moved; the birds, the animals, the water. The vast forest came alive.

And it was more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen. The spectacular dance of life, light and peace. My breath got caught in my throat. My robe slid off my shoulders. It was warm.

The Spirit territory, the northernmost bastion of civilisation, was pleasantly warm.

With a skipped heartbeat and hitched breath, I realised I could stay here. The mountains in the distance, the magical warmth, the calming birds...

“Welcome to the Spirit territory.” Ace said. “Only eat the fruit you can recognise. Do not touch the animals, you don’t know who they belong to. And for god’s sake,” He turned to the men of our group, “If a gorgeous lady shows up out of nowhere and promises fulfilment of your desires, do not follow her. She is going to steal your soul and eat your heart for dinner.”

“So,” I giggled, “Much like any gorgeous lady?”

“Do not flatter yourself.” Rixen pushed past me, bumping against my shoulder on purpose.

Through our connection, I felt his anger, but it was deeper this time, more tangible. I sighed and stared after the shadowman as he disappeared in the forest.

“Can we wash up?” Danilo asked.

Torvald and the warthog were already jumping around the grass-covered clearing, playing fetch, without a care in the world.

“Oh, yes.” Ace nodded. “The water is good for drinking, as well. I would also stick that burned toe of yours inside. It’s going to help it heal.”

Danilo limped away.

I sighed, “I fucked that right up, didn’t I?”

Ace sneered, “Your drama is nonsensical to me. But, if they have to kill each other, make sure it’s Rixen that remains alive. We need him more than we need the self-obsessed knight.”

“Ace,” Nickeltinker warned, “We’ve talked about this. You’re being unnecessarily mean.”

“Fine.” Ace rolled his eyes. “I’m sure your troubles are troubling. But I’d prefer if you didn’t bother me with it because I have real problems to deal with, like the fact there’s a mage following us.”

I frowned, “What?”

Ace looked at me, “Remember that man I told you about when we encountered the sellswords?”

“The one with the eyes around his neck?”

Ace nodded, “The one that bears The Three Gifts of Erenna. He calls himself Soterios.”

“I guess he’s not the mastermind behind the whole cult thing?” Nickeltinker asked.

Ace looked around, as if checking whether there was somebody listening, “I thought we lost him. I thought the werewolves threw him off. His earth magic isn’t as strong-”

“Ace.” Nick said through his teeth. “You’re sounding paranoid. Again.”

But the mage seemed way more rattled than he should have been, “Three groups have been following us since we left the Woods of Loria.” His eyes judgingly roamed over my face. “You’re very bad at covering your tracks.”

I squinted, “Maybe because I’ve never had to do that. But thanks for the condescension, oh, wise wizard.”

“We lost two out of three when the ships in Balr blew up.” Ace continued and paced around the grass-covered clearing. “Soterios is a mage, Irina. Do you have any idea what that means?”

“Uh, no.” I arched my eyebrow. “Why aren’t you explaining this to everyone?”

“Because,” Ace stopped. “Soterios knew we didn’t blow up with the ships in Balr. He knew we weren’t crossing the Northern Ocean by ship.”

“So?”

“So,” The mage sighed, “Apart from the five of you, who else knew about the ruse you were going to pull off in Balr?”

Nickeltinker and I exchanged a glance.

No one knew. Well, no one except-

“King Bernard.” I breathed out.

Nickeltinker looked at the mage, “You have some explaining to do.”

“Go rest.” Ace shook his head. “Eat something. Then we’ll talk.”

Feeling rattled and nervous, I disappeared in the forest. Aside my troubling drama, more pressing matters came into view. I didn’t trust Ace. My recent fighting with Rixen disabled me from talking to him about it, but there were things I needed to share.

So I went looking for him, knowing full well he might shoo me away. I found him near the pristine, blue pond, sitting on the rock, staring at the water.

With my suitcase next to him.

I stomped across the grass, forgetting about my swollen ankle, anger coursing through me, “What the hell are you doing?” I stopped at the edge of the rock-filled coast.

Low sunshine reflected off the water, which in return reflected off Rixen’s golden eyes, now filled with sadness and... resignation.

“I wanted to throw it into this lake.” He nodded at my suitcase.

My eyes widened, “How dare you? Do you have any idea how expensive the dresses inside are? There’s a lot of silver inside, and my crowns-”

Rixen didn’t gaze up, “You didn’t want to enter Liu Raj’s lake because you didn’t want to ruin your dress, you’re not wearing boots, even though you’ve strained your ankle possibly to the point of breaking, and you’re constantly cold.”

“So you decided to throw my dresses away? Are you crazy?” I glanced tentatively at my suitcase, afraid it would fly off and disappear in front of me.

“I wanted to hurt you.” Rixen whispered. “And the only thing that seems to hurt you is losing your status and your silver.”

I sat on the rock, enjoying the warmth, “That’s not true. Lots of things hurt me. The fact you’re mad at me hurts me. I thought we were... You let me in your head again and I thought we were past hating each other.”

He still wasn’t looking at me, “I guess I can’t switch it off just like that.”

Sadness bit my heart, “Hating me?”

Rixen didn’t answer my question, “Why didn’t you just tell Danilo you had magic?”

I tried to find his eyes, but he still refused to look at me, “I can’t. If Danilo knew, King Bernard would find out, and my brother would find out... They’re not like people here; they hate magic and everything that comes with it.”

Rixen finally looked at me, “And you want people like that to like you?”

The remark surprised me and hurt me at the same time. Of course he was right.

“Is that how you want to live?” Rixen’s golden eyes searched mine. “Surrounded by people who would hate you if they knew who you truly are?”

“I’m going to get rid of my magic.” I shook my head. “I won’t be a mage anymore, so they’ll have nothing to hate.”

“I’m not only talking about magic, Irina.” Rixen let out a brittle laugh. “Danilo has no idea who you are, he thinks you’re a clueless, dumb doll. And believe me, he wouldn’t be interested if he knew you were anything but.”

“You’re wrong.” Tears blurred my vision. “You think he’s an awful person, but he’s not.”

“I didn’t say he was an awful person.” Rixen shook his head. “But he’s not the right person for you.”

I swallowed my heartbeat, “Rix, I know you think you know me. But each time you called me selfish and spoiled, you were right. Me here is different from me back in Irenwell. There...” I shook the pain away. “There I am a clueless, dumb doll.”

Rixen laughed shortly, but the sound was closer to exasperated, “If you say so, Maiden.”

“What do you want me to do?” I squeezed my fingers in my lap. “I’ll do anything if it means you won’t be mad at me.”

He glanced at me sideways, “Put on boots?”

I grinned, “Is that all, shadowman?”

“Please.” He looked at my swollen ankle. “I can’t keep worrying whether you’ll break your leg.”

I nodded, “I’ll put on boots. I’ll even wear pants.”

Rixen smiled weakly, “I’m honoured.”

Heavy silence settled between us; one I couldn’t handle. I fiddled with the sleeves of my torn and dirty dress. Nothing was alright between us and I knew it. After this was all over, I feared he would truly end up hating me.

“Rixen,” I murmured, “There’s something we need to talk about.”

The shadowman’s golden eyes ran over my concerned face, “What?”

I pushed myself off the large rock and hopped over Rixen’s legs to reach the suitcase he almost threw in the pristine blue water. I hid the paper inside Ars Magica, aware Ace knew the book by heart and wouldn’t accidently stumble upon it. I stole the scroll back in Balr when Ace told me he changed the information he sent to the world. The scroll was unedited.

I handed it to Rixen, “Read this and meet me in the water.”

Not waiting any longer, I took off the lilac-coloured dress, revealing the corset of the same colour. Lacy flowers covered the tight, cotton fabric underneath. The corset was attached to my panties. For the first time in weeks, I remembered my maid, Gretchen, and imagined her losing her mind over this piece of lingerie. The chilly air caused tingling all over my skin. Rixen did not avert his gaze, his eyes trailed the curve of my body, the scroll I gave him forgotten in his hand.

My breath hitched.

Whatever our relationship at this point was, it didn’t stop him from touching the curve of my waist and pulling me slightly closer. Our knees bumped. Desire sparked in his golden eyes and I was so close, too close, to giving in.

A whisper left my lips, “Are you trying to seduce me, shadowman?”

Rixen smirked, “I’m smart enough to know when a woman is wearing lingerie like this, she’s the one seducing me.”

“Read the scroll, bastard.” I stepped away with a grin, acutely feeling the lack of his touch on my waist.

I glanced over the body of water in front of me. The lake was so clear I couldn’t estimate the depth, and I saw all the rocks at the bottom and colourful fish swimming around. I braced myself for the cold and stepped in.

The temperature was pleasant and I found myself craving the cleanliness. I dived in, the water sliding over my skin and through my hair, washing away days of exhaustion and soreness from my limbs. My swollen ankle enjoyed the lull of warmth. Water entered my mouth, almost sweet.

I dived out, sunshine fell on my cheeks, warming me up. Rixen stood at the edge of the lake; his black tunic was off. Unable and unwilling to help myself, I looked over his lean, muscled body. The scars covered him, even whiter than his pale skin. But I didn’t mind.

He didn’t need to be perfect. I’d still find him beautiful.

My heartbeat accelerated as he entered the lake and came closer to me. Water drops sparked in his black hair, slid down his face and gathered on his lips. His eye colour turned molten gold.

“Did you read it?” Words were hard to squeeze out under the intensity of his gaze. When Rixen nodded, I murmured, “Let’s go to the waterfall. No one can hear us there.”

We swam together, silence looming over us like foreboding, reminding us of the unsolved issues and all the troubles yet to come.