Chapter 25
25 Affirmations
Tamia-
Things got intense between Sylvester and me, and I found myself completely in love.
with him.
I was afraid that I would repeat history, but my heart was beyond my control.
He knew how to act, what to say and what to
He made me feel like the most important person in his world, and I slowly found myself saying, ‘this is
it’ but I had said that before, not so long ago, and I came out
burnt and broken.
I wasn’t willing to make that jump again.
It was a scary situation to be in. I tried to fight my feelings and kept telling myself it
was casual.
I tried to think through the situation to
guard my heart. The fact that Sylvester and I
weren’t fated scared the shit out of me.
Questions of the future plagued my mind. What if she shows up one day just like Amanda? Where will
that leave me?
He had never told me he loved me. This
could be a fun and exciting thing for him.
I scolded myself for catching feelings.
Every day we would wake up, eat, and train
together. I let him go and handle his duties, and then we met in the evening and did
whatever we liked. 1
It was fun and scary because I had fallen in
love with him.
When I decided to speak to Sylvester about
my fears, we were lying on the grass in the
western garden, a part of the estate people rarely visited.
“Sylvester,” I said gently; we were lying side
by side and looking at the stars that graced
the night sky.
It was a beautiful sight and a lovely moment. I was afraid that I might ruin it.
“Yes,” he replied, and I exhaled.
“Do you ever let your prisoners go?” I asked him, and he chuckled.
“Which of the prisoner’s, green eyes? The ones in the cell or the trophies?” he asked,
making light the question.
“Your trophies,” I asked, and he exhaled too.
“They have nowhere to go back to, I am their
Alpha, and they are connected to me; I am
not keeping them here as prisoners; they are
here because this is their only home for now.
They are free to leave, but they only leave if
they find love or want to move to Lucland or another part of the north. They are all here
of their own volition. I am a lord, not a monster. I expect the women to fall in love eventually and move
on. I also know they
have needs.” He said.
“Would you ever settle down?” I asked him
immediately, and he was silent.
“I am sorry to ask, but I overheard some ladies talking about how you threw out the
five women in your harem. They said you
told a woman called Arya that you do not plan on settling down. I just want to know if it is true,” I said.
“I am not worried about it. I understand.
Coming out of a failed marriage, I can
understand, and I am okay where we are; that way, if you find your fated, it would not be an issue,” I
said, trying to convince myself more that falling for him was stupid.
He turned to his side to look at me.
“Look at me,” He said, and I did what he
asked and made sure my face bore no
emotions.
“I indeed said those things, and I meant
them, Tamia. As the lord of the north with a
pending war, I doubt I would want to tie any
woman down. It was my way of setting them free and making them forget about me,” He
said, and his words hurt because it seemed as if his mindset had not changed.
“As for my fated, I do not care about that
shit, Tamia. I make my destiny. I do not care
what the stars say. I won’t lose my shit or betray a woman that has been there for me. through thick
and thin, because fate said so. I will reject her in a heartbeat and risk being weak,” He said, and I
smiled at him. Having
been there, I knew it was easier said than
done.
He touched my face gently and smiled.
“I am not Leo, Tamia,” he said, and I nodded, but my eyes were already welling up with tears because I
was a fool all over again. I had fallen completely in love with someone
that did not plan on having anything serious
with me.
“I am nothing like my father. My trophies are not prisoners: they are free, but I won’t
let you go, Tamia. You aren’t a prisoner here, and you aren’t a trophy; you are my woman,” he said,
and I smiled at him, but
5/10
tears were threatening to fall at that
moment.
He sat up and asked me to do the same. Then he pulled me close and crashed his lips on mine,
“I want to make love to the woman I love under the stars,” he said, tugging on my clothes gently, and I
could not believe he had used the word ‘love’ with me. He moved
from my lips to my neck.
“I can’t wait to claim you as mine, Tamia,’ he linked me, sucking on the spot on my neck, and my body
came apart; he moved to the crook of my neck and opened my blouse. to expose my breasts.
“You aren’t my trophy, Tamia. Never compare yourself to them,” He linked me and sucked my nipples
one at a time.
He sucked while he rubbed the other
between his thumb and index finger. 1
I had started moaning, and he growled with approval.
He rolled down my panties and spread my legs wide. I laid back down on the grass, looking at the stars
while he ate me.
“Sylvester,” I moaned, my vision blurry and
my heart racing fast.
Please let this be it; I prayed while I writhed, moaning in pleasure, running my fingers through his hair
and anticipating the release. 1
All my senses were alive, and I felt the
release coming through. I let go, and it erupted inside me.
He did not stop until I came down.
Then he leaned over me and stared into my
eyes.
“I wasn’t joking when I said this is it, Tamia, I love you,” He said, knowing what had troubled my heart
all along and drove
himself into me before I could say anything,
making love to me under the stars.
“This is it for me, Tamia,” He said, pumping
gently but hitting the right spot.
Soon he sat up and pulled me up. I came on top, hugging him and riding. He held me and my body
responded to him.
My speed became faster because an orgasm was coming, and soon it erupted again. He stilled and
released into me.
He held me, his head against my chest.
“I am never letting go. I love you,” He said and looked at me.
I had tears of fear in my eyes, fear that fate might take him from me, so I held on to my
confession of love, never speaking the words that might doom me again, and my lips quivered.
“You have nothing to worry about with me,
Tamia. You won’t lose me to anyone, not
even a fated. I won’t do what Leo did to you. I promise. Your heart and love are too precious for me to
throw away because fate says so. I am begging you to trust me and love me without reserve,” he said. I
searched his eyes, and they were sincere, but so were
Leo’s until, the day he saw Amanda.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I said to him, my hands and knees shaking.
“I don’t. I know I will keep this one,” he breathed in my scent.
“Until you, I did not think my heart would ever beat for anyone or I would ever feel this way, but you
have made what seemed impossible possible. I want you to trust me and take this leap with me,
please. Open up one more time. I know it is a lot to ask for, but I am asking you to give me a chance,”
he
said to me, and in those moments, I threw
caution to the wind because who was I
fooling? My heart was already invested deep in what we had; I might as well go all in. 1
“I love you too, Sylvester,” I said to him,” please do not damage what is left of my
heart. I doubt I will survive another
rejection. I will always be with you and never leave, even if there is an opportunity to do so, I am with
you by choice, and I am giving you my heart by choice. If ever fate
interferes with what we have, I will let him go in a heartbeat because I choose you, but please,
Sylvester, do not let me down. Do not make me share, and do not make me regret this,” I pleaded with
him, and he held me.
“I am ready to go all the way with you,
Tamia; settle down and have children. I want to build a life with you, and I hope you will let me.” He
said, pleading with me, and I
nodded.
I wanted those things, too; although fate had robbed me greatly, I still wanted those
things.
“Don’t ever listen to rumours and equate yourself to the people of my past. What we have is different. It
is unique and new,’
” he
said, and I nodded.
He kissed me and made love to me under the stars. My heart was lifted that night, and my worries
dissipated, but fate still scared me. because I feared what it might have in store
for me.