Shadows in Light

The Priestess didn’t notice as I stumbled backwards in surprise.

Everything flashed through my mind.

The Darkness, what I’d seen in the mirror.

My death and rebirth.

It all made sense why the Angels were trying to kill me.

I was an evil soulless Demon.

She must have missed have realized something was wrong because she whirled around to look at me, eyes widening in horror.

“Oh gods, you didn’t know?” She took a step towards me, trying to take my hand, “No, stop thinking like that!”

I yanked my hand away, “No! Don’t touch me.”

She took a step towards me as I backed away, her face displaying fear and terror. All I felt was disgust, trying to stop her hands from touching me. Without a conscious calling of it, Shadow lashed out at her, sending her flying backwards into the wall with a loud thump before she fell limp on the floor.

Part of me screamed at me to try and help her, see if she was okay. But instead, I stumbled out of the morgue heading towards the exit.

The double doors were locked and causing me a problem. I couldn’t figure out how to open them, so they ended up suffering a blast of Shadow that sent wood flying into the little street. I lurched out after it, hoping to look at the night sky.

And I saw stone instead.

I was still underground, with that feeling of being trapped returning. Memories of being buried alive came back to me, increasing my panic. I stumbled along, looking for the route I’d taken to get here, but I couldn’t remember it properly.

The Shadow in me kept rolling up and snapping out randomly as I tried to make my way along, causing pieces of wood and stone to shower me.

I ended up against a concrete wall, close to hyperventilating. It was all too much, there was no logic involved anymore, no sanity. If you’ve never had a panic attack, you just can’t understand it. You want to stop it, but you’ve no idea how to do that. Everything becomes too much, and the primitive side of your brain rises and takes over.

I could hear people coming, something I doubted was for a good reason. I tried to get to my feet, scrambling in my pocket to get to my gun, but as I was doing so, I felt something cold and metallic circle my neck and pull me backwards hard.

I tried to keep my balance but ended up on my ass being dragged backwards until I was level with some person.

They crouched down looking me in the eyes, and it took me a few moments to realize it was Dave looking me in the eyes.

“Ah, yes. We’re there then.”

I tried grabbing at the metal around my neck to remove it, but it didn’t give an inch, and it certainly wasn’t helping me breath.

“It won’t come off Ryan. Not till you’re ready for it.”

I reached in my pocket, trying to pull out my gun, but he just calmly kicked my hand before it had cleared my pocket properly sending it tumbling away. Yanking on the leash he had, he dragged me very unceremoniously into his living area. His guards were waiting, and despite my fighting they managed to drag my coat and bag off me before I was locked into an almost medieval chair.

“Let me go!” I yelled at Dave as he calmly moved to sit down in a chair opposite me, taking out a cigar and lighting it.

“No, and for multiple reasons. The most obvious being, your eyes show you know. And they show you’re terrified of what this means.”

I bit back a stream of insults, before gritting my teeth and tried to calmly say, “Just let me go Dave, I want to go home.”

He shook his head, puffing on his cigar, looking at me, “Can’t let you. You’ll do something stupid right now.”

I gave up asking politely and tried to demand by calling on Shadow. I could feel the power inside me, but every time I tried to use it, it fell just out of reach. I was just sat there, probably looking like an idiot as I tried to summon it up.

“The collar stops you. So long as you’re unable to accept yourself, that collar will remain on, as will the cuffs. It’s something we use for when the reborn respond badly to the truth of what they are.”

“What, that I’m a Demon?” I spat at him, tugging at the cuffs although I had no hope of escaping. I couldn’t have broken these if they were made of leather, never mind metal.

Dave paused on his cigar for a moment, then nodded. “That’s the one. Course I reckon you’ve found out a little too early by this panic attack you’re having right now. It’s a shame, I think you’d have been fine if you’d have gone the whole path. Priestess told you by accident then?”

I glowered at him, trying to threaten, which had no effect.

“Thought so. The Priestess is a good lady, she does good work here, and the Underground can’t afford for her to be punished for such a little thing. You were almost there. She just missed it.”

“Good to see you obeying the so-called Laws.”

He shrugged a little, “The Laws are Laws, but you have to learn when to implement them, and when to accept things happen. I believe in your case, this is a minor problem, but can be resolved.”

“What that I’m a Demon and Angels are trying to kill me because I’m evil?”

“Are you?”

His reply threw me, and I looked at him puzzled, “I. What?”

“Are you evil?”

“Well of course I am, Angels are trying to kill me”

“That’s not proof of evil.”

“What about the whole Demon thing then?”

“Oh please. Humans do evil things. Evil is evil in the end. Don’t judge a book by its cover. You’re judging yourself by your cover right now Ryan, not what you know about yourself.”

“I came back from the dead.”

He frowned a little, “Well. Yes. You’ve got me there I won’t deny it. We all do, it’s a fact of our existence. We’re born, we live as mortals, and at some point, we’ll die and come back. But we’re not from Hell. Or Tartarus, Ananon, Naraka, Kuzimu. We are not from ANY religions Hell.”

“Everyone knows Demons lie.”

“Sure. Some do, others try not to, and some don’t. Same as humans. In fact, humans are probably better at lying than any other species out there. The Faeries are always impressed by the Mortals ability to lie I know that much.”

“And what’s your point here?”

“Lying is not a sign of evil. A name is not a sign of evil. Actions are a sign of evil.” He leaned forward, looking me right in the eyes, “I’m not going to sit here and tell you Demons are pure and good, we’re not. Once upon a time we were a lot better than we are now, but an almost timeless war that has resulted in so much death has had consequences on some.”

“The War against Angels?”

“You’re having trouble getting passed the whole Angel thing huh?”

He puffed on his cigar for a moment “Okay, let’s do some history here. A lot of what we consider ‘Angel’ is based on mortal Christian generic viewpoint, so what I’m talking about right now is based off that.”

I nodded, he was going to go on until I listened, so what was the point? Plus, a wave of tiredness was starting to pass through me.

“At first, nothing was known about them, in fact they were often referred to as invisible beings. They were messengers from God, spirits rather than physical people as you’d think of them. Then some individual angels appeared, but they were appearing as just men. Looked no different from anyone else. If you go through the Bible, especially the older less translated versions, they never looked like what you think about as ‘angels’. Then art and literature started to explode out that described and showed angels in the forms you’re used to know.”

My understanding of the Bible, I’ll admit, wasn’t perfect, but I had a good reading and understanding of it. And I honestly couldn’t remember any direct descriptions of one in truth? I couldn’t help but feel he was right in this.

“So, you’re trying to say that the Angels made us think Angels look like them by what? Hiring artists and what not?”

“Rather clever really isn’t it? They are beings of Light, and Light is seen as a good thing. After all people are told ‘go into the light’. It might just be that the Angels have skewed some things.”

“You’re trying to say Heaven doesn’t exist too?”

“Ah. No, I cannot and would not. I’ve never died and stayed dead. And I would never try to tell people what they should believe regarding their Gods. People are welcome to their beliefs, and personally, I would like to believe there is some afterlife. What I’m trying to explain here is that the Angels have messed with Mortal conceptions of things in the end.”

That made my head hurt, a Demon was wanting to believe in Heaven. He sounded very sincere.

My head was hurting badly. I groaned in pain, causing Dave to look at me for a moment “Did Bianca give you an energy thing?”

I nodded causing my brain to rattle in my head some more.

“How many times you used it now?”

I had to think hard to remember. Once with Bianca, once after Eli, and once after the Prison. I held up three fingers. He said more words, but I couldn’t focus on them, my head was hurting too much. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the pain. I don’t think I succeeded.

I think I just blacked out.