Shackled (The Lord Series) by Carlos

*I don't think that I can take no more.*

Jason didn't always have to beat me to incite fear in me. His favorite way to control me was to lock me up in a closet and leave me there for days. The longest time I was locked up was a few months before he took me to the Celestial Heaven. Celestial Heaven, my ass. I don't even know why it's called that when women are abused there daily. Angels were supposed to be the good guys but the reality is another. Not that the demons are any better, but so far, I have been treated better by Mose and his blood-brothers than any of the Dukes, even if they don't give me drugs or Tyson and Rueben tortured me.

Mose runs his thumb over the bandage that still covers my right arm. "Tomorrow, I'll remove the stitches. Only a few more steps until we get to the kitchen."

I almost forgot about the stitches.

If Ansel had not entered the house that day, what would have happened to me? I would probably not be here today. In a way, Ansel saving my life opened a new chapter in my life. I'm still not sure what that means, but with each passing moment, the bond between him and me grows stronger until it becomes permanent. And now Mose wants to bond with me. I don't think I've been more confused in my entire life. I don't understand what Jasper, Ansel, and Mose want from me. There is nothing left that I can give them.

"Can I take the blind off now?" I don't know why I bother asking since I already know the answer.

"Not unless you want to break our promise."

Not ripping the blind off and letting Mose guide me around the house is a bigger challenge than I expected. I've spent so much time in the darkness, staring at it until it stared back at me. I hate not being able to see. But I have to keep my end of the deal-trust Mose and he won't tell the others what I confessed to him.

I still don't know why I told Mose that I have something evil inside me. When the doctors placed it inside me, inside my uterus, I was numb for days, refusing to accept such a cruel thing was done to me, but now, after years of feeling the darkness spreading inside me, I can no longer ignore it. What will happen to me when it will overpower me?

I can't let such a thing happen.

This is why Rueben has to kill me. Because I refuse to be another peon in this game the Dukes, the Lords, and Azael are playing. Too many people have been affected already. And for what? To destroy the Garden of Eden. Or perhaps they want to control it? They are not the only ones ploying against God and his creation. There are others like Carlos. But after he tortured Angelica and she got away from his clutches, he has been hiding. I hope he never returns to Veross City. With a bit of luck—although luck is something subjective he found his end by now. Or maybe he got some incurable STD from Salma. She is as evil as Carlos.

And then there's this Blight that Wasp told me about.

Wasp expects me to fight when the time comes.

There's nothing left in this world for me worth fighting for.

In the beginning, I fought with all my strength, hoping, praying that he would come for me, but it never happened. When Jason showed me videos of Ansel, Tyson, and Rueben fucking women after women, I knew I had lost everything. But I still hoped that I could escape until I was taken to the facility. That's when I lost all hope. My will to live, also. Soon, though, soon, I'll die. My time was up years ago, but fate can be so cruel sometimes.

The sound of an opening door pulls me out of my thoughts. Without the sweet numbness of the drugs, my mind is slowly clearing and I can think logically again. Or I'm trying to do so, but there are still many dark thoughts and memories that can have me spiraling at any moment of the day.

"One more step and we are in the kitchen," Mose lets me know. I tilt my head back, trying to peek from beneath the blindfold, but I can't see a thing. "It seems Jasper and Ansel are not here."

They aren't? Maybe they don't want to eat with me. "Maybe they went to check on the horses," I suggest.

Mose has me walk several steps more before stopping.

"Could be. Wait here until I go see." Mose kisses me. "And don't take off the blindfold. I'll know if you did do so and then I'll have to punish you for being a bad girl."

I nod. "I won't," I promise.

Mose leaves the kitchen and the backdoor creaks shut.

I don't move from the spot Mose left me because if there is one thing that I've learned is to stay put no matter what. Once, while I was in the Celestial Heaven, Carlos had me stand in the middle of a room and he had his men shoot around me. The sound of the guns reminded me of... the night when Camila died and... I moved. A bullet grazed the back of my neck. It left a scar, but my hair covers it, but the scars left by Carlos' whip are still visible on my legs. A reminder to never move unless I'm told so.

I feel stupid for standing blindfolded in the middle of the kitchen. But I never had a choice. Even when I thought I could build my life the way I wanted, I still didn't have a choice regarding my future. Just like the night Camila died. If there had been another way, I would have never pulled that fucking trigger. But I did and now I'm dealing with the consequences of the choices that have been forced upon me.

I wish Mose and the others would hurry.

The door to the kitchen opens and someone enters. My pulse quickens because I recognize *his* footsteps.

Why is *he* here? I thought Mose said that only he, Ansel, and Jasper would be dining with me tonight.

"Look what I found here. A lost Little Rabbit that can't see.

My breath catches in my throat. It's been happening a lot lately. Especially when *his* tone is so...gentle. Like before, when we still loved each other.

I move my head in the direction of *his* voice. "Don't call me that."

"Why?" *he* asks from behind me, startling me. "You are as skittish as ever."

"Because you took me by surprise," I say and try to pull up the blindfold but *he* puts his palm on top of my hand.

*He* steps in front of me. "Keep it on."

Blood rushes to my ears. I don't like this...whatever this is. "What are you doing?" I shouldn't question *him* but what's happening right now has no logic. *His* fingers touch my cheek and I flinch. "I'm not going to hurt you," *he* says as *he* tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"You already did," I remind *him*.