Ruled by the Blaze (The Unwanted Marriage)

Patricia's POV (Truth)

"How are you?"

Nag angat ako ng tingin kay Mrs. Velasquez na ngayon ko lang nakita na seryoso. Kaming dalawa lang rito sa sala matapos kong pumayag sa kagustuhan niya na kausapin ako. "I'm good, Madam," malamig kong sagot.

Hindi ko inaasahan na mag-uusap kami ng ganito kaseryoso.

She laughed. "What's with Madam? I told you to call me, mom right?"

I don't know if she's just pretending or what. I'm sure she already know what his son did and she's here to talk to me about that. Why she need to insist that though?

"I-I'm still not used to it," I said.

Nakatingin lang ako sa sahig, ayaw ko siya matitigan. At some point, she's really intimidating.

She cleared her throat. "I already know why you and Callum were separate now. I saw those pictures and I also got mad,"

I flinched when she mentioned that.

"There's no perfect relationship and partners, Patricia" she said seriously. "Lahat dumaraan sa problema at pagsubok. All we need to do is to talk about it and think if that relationship still can be survived," In my relationship with Callum right now, I don't think we can still fixed it.

Nag sinungaling siya. Marami siya'ng kasinungalingan na itinago sa'kin pero sa lahat ng iyon, ito ang pinakamasakit.

"Sa kalagayan niyo ni Callum, mas mabuting mag-usap kayo" umaasa niya'ng sambit. "Mag-asawa kayo at magkakaroon ng anak-"

"I can't face your son right now, Madam" I said with bitterness in my voice. "Hindi ko rin gusto na makita siya,"

Napakagat siya labi. "Those photos... there's misunderstanding. I'm sure it's from Zara's side. I know it's hard to explain but the both of them really had an errand with those-"

"Like what, Madam?" I interrupted. "If he's serious about our relationship... he wouldn't meet her ex fiancé. He won't kiss and fetch her,"

Nagulat siya ng makita ang nangingilid kong luha.

"Kahit sino...hindi matutuwa sa ginawa ng anak niyo," lakas loob kong sabi. "Alam kong may utang na loob kami sa inyo, kaya ba ganito ang ginawa ng anak niyo?"

Mabilis siya'ng umiling. "No, Patricia. As what I've said, he had reasons. Pwede mo muna siya pakinggan,"

Nagmamakaawa siya para sa anak.

"Walang mangyayari kung hindi mo siya haharapin. Heard the sides of each other-" "Pinapunta po ba kayo rito ng anak niyo?" malamig kong sabi kaya nagitla siya.

"Uh, no. I just saw him having a hard time so I went here..."

-

Natapos ang pag-uusap namin ni Mrs. Velasquez na wala siya'ng napala sa'kin.

Mabigat ang dibdib kong umakyat sa kwarto. I admit that everything she said had an impact to me.

Inihatid ni mommy sa labas si Mrs. Velasquez, pansin ko rin na may gusto pa siya'ng sabihin pero hindi ko pa talaga kaya na harapin siya.

Humiga ako sa kama at tumulala. Ilang sgalit pa ay napabalikwas ako ng bangon dahil pumasok si mommy.

"Are you okay?" she's panicking. "How was it? Pinagalitan ka ba?"

Umiling ako. "Ayos lang, mommy"

"Ano'ng sinabi niya sayo? Pinag-aayos ba kayo ni Callum?"

Tumango ako at iniisip parin ang napag-usapan kanina. They just want me and Callum to be fine and back to each other again. I just can't grand their request that easy.

"Hindi ko pa siya kayang makita," namamaos kong sabi. "Masakit parin kasi, mommy..."

Nabasag ang boses ko kaya agad ako'ng niyakap ni mommy. Pinigilan ko ang nagbabadyang luha dahil pagod na ako'ng umiyak.

"I-I'm sorry for asking. Stop crying, please..."

"I'm not," sabi ko bago ipinakita ang mukha ko.

Lumungkot ang mata niya. "Ilang araw ka na rito sa kwarto, hindi ka lumalabas kahit doon sa garden. Don't be too harsh to yourself,"

"I want to be alone..." sambit ko bago humiga sa kama.

Bumuntong hininga siya. "Jess called. Hindi ka raw niya ma-contact. Where's your phone?"

"I broke it," sagot ko ng maalala na nasira ko 'yon sa sobrang galit.

"Gosh, I'll just buy you one" she stood up. "Anyway, Jess is already on her way here,"

Nanlaki ang mata ko. "Nakauwi na siya?"

Ngumiti si mommy. "Oo, sobrang nag-aalala siya sayo. Maiwan muna kita, ha❞

Akala ko ba isang buwan sa cebu si Jess? Pero isang lingo pa lang siya roon at umuwi agad! Bago pa siya dumating ay naligo na ako at inayos ang sarili. Bakit naman kasi ngayon lang sinabi ni mommy? Saktong pagkatapos ko mag bihis ay biglang bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko at iniluwa si Jess na maraming bitbit na paper bags.

"Patricia!" sigaw niya at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. "I miss you!"

Nag echo sa buong kwarto ang boses niya.

"Ang ingay mo," sabi ko at tumingin sa mga dala niya.

"Pasalubong ko sayo! I'm sure you will like it!"

Pinaupo niya ako sa kama at excited na binuksan ang regalo para sa'kin.

"Actually, it's not for you, it's for your baby!" she smiled widely. "Para naman makalimutan mo kahit paano ang problema, isipin mo na lang ang magiging anak mo!"

Napanguso ako ng makita na ang sinasabi niya'ng regalo. It's a white dresses for new born baby with some personal stuffs.

My snort turned into a big smile. I didn't expect this!

Kinuha ko ang mga regalo niya, ang gaganda! Kahit mga milk bottle ay mayroon.

"Ang ganda, Jess!" sambit ko habang nakangiti.

Binuksan ko ang iba pang paper bags at ganoon din ang mga laman. Ang dami!

"See? You love it! Mas mabuti kung intidihin mo ang baby mo kaysa kay Callum at Zara,"

Nawala ang ngiti ko ng banggitin niya 'yon.

"Look at your eyes. Kulang ka na sa tulog dahil sa kakaisip at iyak!" sermon niya kaya napairap ako at itinago ang mga binigay niya. "May nalaman nga rin pala ako tungkol sa asawa mo..." Nagbago ang tono niya kaya nilingon ko siya. Walang bahid ng ngiti ngayon sa mukha niya.

"Nakita rin pala siya ng pinsan ko sa restaurant niya," matabang niya'ng sabi. "Kasama raw si Zara at masayang kumakain!"

Umismid ako at tumahimik. Ako ang nahihiya sa ginagawa nila. Some people out there knew that he's married yet they will see him with another woman, how funny.

"Wala ka ba talagang balak kausapin siya? Paano yung bahay niyo-"

"Sa kanya lang ang bahay na 'yon, remember? I don't have any contribute there,"

Bumuntong hininga siya. "I know, pero as husband and wife...sa inyo pareho 'yon. Isama mo pa yung dream house niyo-"

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"That is his dream house," mariin kong sabi bago tumayo at lumapit sa bintana.

Lahat naman ng mga 'yon, siya ang nag pundar. Sinama niya lang ako sa pag buo pero ngayon...hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pa pumunta sa bahay niya.

"You should confront him in personal, Pat!" she suggested. "Slap and shout at him all you want. Ask him why he did that shit!"

Umiling ako, mapait na ngumiti. "Paano ko 'yon gagawin kung...takot ako na makita siya"

Nag init ang sulok ng mata ko. Iniisip ko pa lang na sigawan at saktan siya, parang dinudurog ang puso ko. Hindi ko kaya.

"Ano'ng gusto mo? Mag mukmok dito sa kwarto at umiyak lang?" marahas siya'ng suminghap. "Hindi mawawala ang nararamdaman mo kung ganoon! Lakasan mo ang loob mo!" Ramdam ko ang galit niya pero kailangan ko pa ng lakas ng loob.

"You need a piece of mind. Hindi ka magkakaroon 'non kung iiwasan mo siya..."

I shook my head. "His reason is already obvious. He loved her. Maybe all the things he made me feel was just...lust, enjoyment, leisure and fake,"

I let out a heavy sighed and refrained myself from crying. I caressed my tummy, maybe after I give birth to my child, I'll flew to America. If Callum wants me to leave him alone, then fine.

"Well, if you need more courage, take your time until you can face him,"

Isang oras pa nag tagal si Jess sa bahay bago siya nag pasya umuwi.

Nang mag dinner naman ay ipinatawag na ako ni mommy sa ibaba para kumain.

Ayaw ko pa sana bumaba pero napilitan na ako dahil gutom na rin.

Nasa harap na ng lamesa si Jordan at mommy kaya tumabi ko. Nagulat pa ako ng si mommy mismo ang nag lagay ng pagkain sa plato ko.

"Thank you, mom"

Nag simulakaming kumain at puro sila tanong tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko lalo na si Jordan. I think it's just their way to make me forget my problem for a while.

Sa kalagitnaan ng pagkain namin ay nawala ang ngiti ko ng makita si daddy na dumating at umupo sa harap namin. Humalik siya kay mommy. Nawala ang ngiti niya ng makita ang malamig kong titig. Suminghap ako bago bumaling ulit sa pagkain. I noticed that mom was not acting cold towards him anymore. Well, that's good. Iyon din naman ang gusto ko, ang hindi sila magkagalit.

Gusto ko lang na tumigil si daddy sa ginagawa niya at mag focus sa success ng kompanya, iyon lang. At galit ako sa kanya dahil nag sinungaling siya.

"Mam Patricia?"

Napalingon kami lahat sa maid na tumawag sa'kin. May dala itong isang box.

"Ibinigay po ng asawa niyo," inilapag niya 'yon sa lamesa. "Marami pa po roon sa labas,"

Kinabahan agad ako at natuod sa upuan. H-He's here?

Binuksan ni mommy ang laman ng box at agad kumalat ang amoy ng bagong lutong pagkain. Halos umuusok pa ang mga ito, bagong luto pa. I was stunned for a moment when a familiar scene flashed in my mind. A morning scene where Callum was preparing food for me. When I watched him cook and how I mesmerized by his cooking skills. Damn it!

Tumayo ako at dumiretso sa labas, rinig kong sumunod si mommy. Nakita ko nga sa harap ng gate ang dalawa pang plastic bag. My trembling hand took a note from the front before opening it.

It's filled with my favorite snacks.

I heard mom cleared her throat. "All those foods seems delicious-"

"Take them away,"

Natigil si mommy. Itinuro ko lahat ng 'yon sa maid.

"I don't want to see those. Throw them away or eat them,"

I turned around and held my chest. It was beating so fast. If Callum thought he could get me into something like that, well no!

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Hindi ko na tinapos ang pagkain at dumiretso na sa pool area. Tumayo lang ako sa harap ng mga halaman para kalmahin ang sarili.

I admit...I miss seeing and tasting foods he cooks.

Binuklat ko ang maliit na papel na kinuha ko kanina sa mga binigay ni Callum.

To: My Wife

Hope you're eating well. I spend my time cooking and buying all your favorites, hope you like them, love. Let's see each other tomorrow in our house. I badly want to see you and explain everything. Nangilid ang luha ko sa nabasa. I crumpled it then threw it away.

I don't even know how to feel.

"Patricia..."

I turned around and saw daddy walking towards me. Pinunasan ko ang butil ng luha na tumakas sa mata ko at akmang aalis na pero hinawakan niya ang braso ko.

"Let's talk, please..." he plead.

Mariin ako'ng pumikit bago lumayo sa kanya. Sadness was visible on his face when I looked at him.

"I'm sorry about what I've done," he scoffed. "Give me another chance to show my improvement. I already stopped seeing Mr. Lim because I realized that doing those things won't make me complete," Suminghap ako bago tumango. "Really?"

He nodded. "Nilulunod ko na ang sarili ko sa pagtatrabaho. Please, nagsisisi na ako. Gagawin ko lahat ng sipag para lang maibalik ang nakuha kong pera, anak..."

I sighed and look at him straightly. He seems devastated and problematic.

"I can't stand seeing you being disgusted with me," his voice broke. "I can't imagine my life with you being so mad at me, forgive me,"

My eyes welling up with tears. I suddenly think that...I became too hard towards him.

"Then proved it, dad. Show us that your wrongs won't makes any problem," I said wholeheartedly.

I saw him smile so I looked away. I still haven't forgiven him completely.

"Now, can I asked about you and Callum-"

"Not about him" I cut off.

"He's responsible. I know there's reason behind what he does to you. He knows how to handle situation-"

"How can you say that, dad? Wait, are you siding with him?" I asked unbelievably.

"Did you know that I tried to invite him to invest into a scam?"

Nanlaki ang mata ko. "What?!"

He laughed awkwardly. "Akala ko maiisahan ko na siya. I was devastated that time by finding money for casino,"

I covered my mouth. That was insane!

"What a shame, dad!" I hissed.

"I know," he sounds guilty. "But you know what I've received from him? He said that I should stop my doings. Nagulat ako dahil alam niya ang mga illegal kong ginagawa," "He didn't get mad?"

Umiling si daddy. "Nag suggest pa siya ng ilang legit na small business para roon mag invest. Kung ang iniisip mo ay ang mga Velasquez...oo alam nila ang ginagawa ko. I apologized to them personally," My eyes were wide and sinking everything he was saying.

"Matagal na ako'ng tumigil. When I asked Callum why he wasn't angry with me? He said it's because of you. He didn't want you to be hurt by what I was doing so he stopped me before I got addicted to gambling,"