Chapter 19
I can’t fucking sleep.
It’s like the walls are closing in on me. All I can do is pace around my bedroom, feeling more agitated by the second. I don’t like this feeling; it’s bullshit. I think I felt a shade of it once before, a long time ago, but never like this. It was never such a… distraction. I have to put an end to it.
You should have gone after her, mudak.
I can’t believe I let her stay with her friend in the guest suite last night. I should have gone after her, brought her to my room, by force, if necessary. Should have sorted this shit out hours ago. But I didn’t. My hands and face were covered in blood. I knew she won’t talk to me while I look like I just walked out of a slaughterhouse. So, I just watched her as she walked up the stairs and went to her friend’s room, slamming the door behind her. I then finished up in the basement, came to my room and I’ve been prowling around here like a fucking pussy since.
Chert voz’mi!
I rub my eyes, trying to clear the fog from them. I must stay sharp, to be ready for whatever the morning might bring. I can’t afford to be off my game. Not now. Not with everything that’s happened.
The thought of Tiana, of what she saw… I can still feel the weight of the blood on my hands, the stench of it in my nostrils. I’ve done this many times before, but never in front of someone so innocent, so pure. And now she’s seen me at my worst, and I’m not sure if she’ll ever forgive me.
Fuck that.
I will make her forgive me.
I glance at the clock. It’s just after dawn, and the sunlight is starting to creep through the curtains. Time to face the day, get this bullshit under control.
I throw on a fresh shirt, put my shoes on, then head down the hall toward the guest wing. I must talk to her.
The house is quiet, but I can hear the faint sounds of life stirring in the mansion. My security team is already up, making sure everything is in order after the interruption to our routine yesterday. I fucking hate it when our schedule is compromised.
I take a series of deep breaths as I make my way through the house, but it does nothing to ease the tension that’s coiled tight in my chest. I need to speak to Tiana, and make sure she’s okay. Tell her that she’s safe with me. That I care…
Care?
What the fuck, mudak?
The thought hits me like a sledgehammer, and my stride falters.
I care.
Blyad.
Why? It’s not supposed to be this way. I need to get a grip on myself. And that starts with getting things straight between us.
Reaching the door to the suite, I resist the urge to pound on it with my fist. I raise a hand and knock with as much control as I can. And then I wait.
Again, I fucking wait! I’m fucked in the head when it comes to this woman.
Seconds drag by, with no response. I knock again, gritting my teeth to maintain my composure.
Crickets.
“Tiana,” I say firmly. “Tiana, wake up! It is time to talk.” When I knock this time, the sound is sharp and strident. But she still doesn’t answer.
“Goddammit, Tiana!” I bark. If she makes me wait a moment longer, I’m going to kick the fucking door down. “Tiana, I-”
The door swings open a second before I can finish my sentence.
“Kirill… I mean, Mr Vyronov. Good morning.” The girl – Roxie – is standing in front of me dressed in something that looks like it belongs in the amateur section of a sex site.
“Where is Tiana?” I huff. I don’t have the patience for pleasantries.
“Ummm…” Roxie gnaws on her bottom lip.
“Where is she?” I push, looking past her into the room. The bedclothes are mussed up, and clothing is strewn about, but I don’t see any sign of my woman.
“Well… you see…” She pauses, adjusting the neckline of the red satin robe that her tits are falling out of.
“Is she in the bathroom?” It’s taking all my patience not to shout at her. “I must speak to her.”
“No.”
“Then I’m going to wake her.” I push her aside and brush past her into the room. I’ve had enough of this shit.
“I mean no, you can’t speak to her.” Roxie is trailing me into the room – where I still see no sign of Tiana.
“I will speak to her. Stay out of this.” I’m really getting pissed now.
“You can’t speak to her because she’s not here.”
I stop in my tracks, halfway into the en suite bathroom. I swivel to face her. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
She sweeps an arm around the room. “She’s not here. It’s just me and you.”
“Bullshit!” It’s a stupid thing to say when the girl is clearly alone in here, but I can’t fucking believe it.
“See for yourself,” she says, confirming what I’m thinking.
I rake a hand through my hair. “Chto za huy!” I’m trying not to pace again. “Where is she then?”
“No idea. She just said she couldn’t stay here.”
Of course, she can stay here. She belongs here. I don’t say this out loud. I need answers to more important questions.
“Tell me where she is.” I look around the room.
Roxie shrugs. “She left. I tried to stop her, but she was determined. She said she can’t stay here. She said the guards would be distracted with all that had… happened with… you know…” She pauses, allowing me to process what she said. Obviously, she’s talking about what Tiana saw me do.
“And you just let her do this?” I glare at her.
“Hey, I’m not her keeper.” She splays her hands. “I told her it was a terrible idea, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”
I’m still glaring at her. She’s standing with a hand on her hip, the red satin of her dress stretched over her chest and belly. Closing her robe would be a good idea right now, but she keeps it open, putting too much on display.
“Blyad!” I curse under my breath, rage coursing through me. I hadn’t considered Tiana might do this. Clearly, I’m a fool. But so is she. She has no idea what lurks out there. My hands curl into fists, nails biting into my palms as I contemplate this. “What did she say before she left?” I say through gritted teeth.
Maybe I can get some idea of where she’s gone.
“She was freaked out, okay? I mean… you know. She’s not wired to witness the kind of thing she saw. She needed some space, I guess.” She shrugs.
Blyad!
That is not something this fucking girl needs to tell me. I fucked up, big time. I should have made sure there was no way for Tiana to get into the interrogation room. I need to take more care with these things now that there’s a woman in my world.
That’s if you can get her back into it, dolboyob!
What the fuck am I thinking? She is coming back, whether it’s on her own steam, or I have to drag her home by her hair.
“When did she go and where did she leave?” I look at the girl again.
“About half an hour after she got here. She said that she was leaving through the East Wing,” Roxie shrugs, and her robe drops off her shoulder, exposing bare flesh. She doesn’t fix it.
“The East Wing,” I repeat as I do the math. And then, the realization hits.
The fucking East Wing has no bars on the windows, idiot!
She’s been going there to visit my mother almost every day. She knows that part of the building all too well.
Blyad!
And if she left half an hour after she saw me in the basement, it means she had at least seven hours to put distance between us. “Chert voz’mi!” I can’t believe I was this stupid! Even on foot, she could be miles away. And if she was picked up by a vehicle… My blood runs cold.
No.
That is a possibility that I don’t want to think about.
“I told her she was crazy to leave here.” Roxie is looking at me from beneath her lashes. A wave of bleached blonde hair has fallen over her naked shoulder, and she tosses it back. “The way I see it, she’s pretty damn lucky, right?”
I’m working to keep my breathing steady as try to think straight, but my head’s fucked. How could I allow this to happen? “Of course she is! I’ve given her everything she’s wanted.”
Aside from her freedom.
“Of course you did. I mean, look at this place…” Roxie glances around the room. “And look at you.” She takes a step closer.
“What?” I frown.
“I’ll tell you what.” She puts her fingertip into her mouth. “Tiana doesn’t know what she’s throwing away… Mr Vyronov.” She has bright red nails that look too long to be useful for anything. Tiana keeps her nails neat and pretty. Classy. I like the idea of having class in my world.
“You’re right,” I mutter, still trying to figure out how to track Tiana down. I make my way to the window and stare at the lawn area. There’s a clear path to the trees between the East Wing of the house and the perimeter wall, shielding it from prying eyes. And now it’s shielding Tiana’s escape route too.
Blyad!
“You know, a lot of girls would be very happy to take what you’re offering.” Roxie is right behind me when I turn around. The scent of her perfume is too sweet and heavy. She puts a hand on my chest, and I look down at it. “A lot of girls would grab onto you with both hands.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” I scowl.
“I’m just saying, Tiana isn’t the only pretty girl in the world. I know her. She’s not cut out for your world.” She traces her fingertip down the front of my shirt. “But I am.”
What in the motherfucking shit is she doing?
I have no time for this.
“She is fucking perfect for my world.” I brush her hand away and push past her. I don’t have the patience for whatever game she’s playing at.
“Then why do you think she left? I’ve known her all my life. She’s too innocent. It takes a real woman to handle you.” Roxie’s touching me again from behind.
Is this fucking girl hitting on me?
“She belongs here. With me. I fucking own her, goddammit!” This is making me furious. I reach for the phone in my pocket to dial Dima. I need him to send out a search party.
“Wouldn’t you like to own me, instead?” Roxie is still talking. She’s let the strap of her nightdress slip down. All that’s holding it up is the tip of her nipple.
“What? Why would I…?” I stare at her. “Are you fucking hitting on me?’
“That’s up to you, mister,” She licks her lips, sliding both hands up my shoulders. “Would you like me to?”
The phone keeps ringing and fucking Dima is not answering. Maybe the idiot is still sleeping off the events of last night. I need to get to him and wake him up. But first, I must get rid of this Roxie bitch. Her hands are still roving around my shoulders.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I grab her wrists and push her hands away.
“I’m offering you a choice.” She pouts. “It’s not like Tiana appreciates you. But I would… I could make you happy in ways you can only dream of.”
Jesus Christ.
I can’t believe the bitch. Some friend, Tiana has.
“I allowed you to come here because Tiana was lonely. She told me you’re her best friend. Obviously, she needs to learn to choose her friends better. I will teach her how when she is back home with me.” I shove her aside.
“You’re no fun at all.” She’s still pouting, her dress half hanging off.
“Whatever.” I barge past her and storm to the door. “Glupaya shlyukha!”
This time when I reach the door, I don’t resist the urge to kick it. The frame splinters as I haul it open. Tiana could be anywhere by now. And every second she’s away could be a question of life or death. I don’t want to imagine what could happen to her if someone decided to pick her up.
Roxie might be behind me as I leave, but I don’t bother looking back. I’m halfway down the hall when I finally run into Dima.
“Boss?” He’s looking concerned. “I heard you shouting. What’s going on?”
“Tiana,” I growl. “She is gone.”
“Gone? Where?”
“I have no fucking clue!” I run both hands through my hair as frustration hits me in a wave. I hate feeling powerless. “She got out last night while we were cleaning up the mess after the Petrov kid.”
“Blyad!” Dima shakes his head. “Sorry, boss.”
We continue on our path down the hall. “Get a team together. We need to search the area from top to bottom.”
“You think she’s still on the property?”
“I fucking pray she is. Because if she is not here, she is out there.” I glare out a window to the front gates in the distance. “And if she is out there…”
I don’t say it out loud. Dima knows exactly what that could mean.
“I’m on it, boss.” He is looking at me intently. “We’ll bring her back.”
I eye him for a moment, grateful that he’s not giving me shit about being too distracted by a woman. At the same time, I’m painfully aware that it’s the truth. I can barely fucking think straight. And even knowing this, I’m still going to tear this fucking town apart until I find her.
Tiana Avants is coming home.
And when she gets here, I’m going to make sure she’s not going anywhere.