Rejecting the Alpha

It was like I never had left, and my entire life beyond Stonemason had just been a beautiful dream that I had left behind when I woke up. I stayed in his room, isolated with Marie as my only connection to the world outside the alpha's door. The only good thing that happened was that my wolf returned to me as the rogue’s drugs wore off and with her my wounds healed and my heightened senses and strengths returned.

The downside to her return was that she was miserable. She wanted Vander, and he was nowhere to be found. She was wary of everyone we encountered.

Including Alpha Gavriel. She bristled when he returned as promised. Like me, she could not escape that pull towards him, but even she wanted to get back to our real mate. Even if he was our second chance, he had become the one who held our loyalty.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"No."

"So, you were staying at Lightwood?"

I tried to hide my fear. "What? No, of course not."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Because all the rogues we captured said the same thing when they were questioned about where they found you. Seems strange."

"You can't trust rogues." I hoped to play his biases to my advantage.

"Oh, that's true, but at the same time, they do usually tell the truth when pressure is applied, because they have no loyalty to anyone but their own hides. How do you think I found out about Glenhaven's vampire connections?"

I gritted my teeth. "You killed my family on rogue rumours?"

"No. I confirmed them first. Your alpha was in talks with vampires about closer ties, when the agreements are already bad enough. But I've heard enough about that.”

"Oh, I'm so sorry to inconvenience you with the memory of the trauma you caused me.”

He ignored my sass, as if it went right over his head. Or more likely it did. "So, is the male you tried to replace me with still at Lightwood?"

"No."

He raised an eyebrow again. His eyes flickered erratically between his deep blue and his wolf's gold. "Maybe I should kill them all just to be sure." His voice was calm, like he was speaking of something of no import, not talking of wiping out more people.

My heart sunk as his words showed the truth of my fears. I should never have stayed there. I knew I would get them killed. "No, please don't murder another innocent pack," I begged.

"Why not? They stole my luna, which is an act of war."

"You know I left on my own free will, Alpha."

He watched me like a predator, his head cocking slightly and his eyes devoid of any warmth. "Do I?"

"Yes."

"Maybe I could reconsider, if it was Lightwood who helped you see the error of your ways. I might even be grateful to them if you decided to be Stonemason's perfect luna, and my perfect mate. I swear I'd have no reason to attack them if that happened."

I stared at him in shock. "You're saying if I agree with you and cooperate, you'll spare them?"

He just smiled, but there was nothing in it. No malice, no triumph, and certainly no happiness.

I closed my eyes. He had won. "Fine. But I need a couple of days to...get used to the idea."

He nodded, satisfied that he had forced my compliance. "Just remember, if you threaten to kill yourself, if you run away, they'll be the ones to pay the price."

My head slumped forward. I was defeated again, and this time I could not imagine there was a way for me to escape. More tears, and as useless to me as they ever had been, and this time for Vander along with everything else.

I hoped, somehow, he managed to move on and be happy without me. I didn't want to see him throw his life away just like Thedric had, no matter how much more noble his motivations.

Alpha Gavriel walked away, leaving the door open and unguarded, but I was as trapped as ever.

I moved around like a zombie, my heart breaking and my mind reeling. I knew exactly the things he expected of me, and I did not feel willing or even able to give any of it to them.

I nodded at the respectful expressions the pack members gave me and tried to look like I did not feel dead inside. My wolf whimpered for our lost mate, and I had to pretend that I did not hate everyone and everything around me.

Only my fear for Lightwood kept me from completely breaking down.

He informed me that I would be rejoining Stonemason on the next full moon, and I did not argue. He informed me that he would be returning to our room that night, and that I would welcome his presence. I dreaded all of it.

And in the meantime, he took every possible opportunity to touch me. It was harder to set aside my feelings than it had been before. In the past I had hated him and that had not changed, but now I loved someone else, which made his groping hands so much more unbearable. It didn't matter that it felt good, my hatred for him only grew.

He had cornered me in our bedroom, and I had nowhere to run. Even if there was somewhere, I couldn't take the escape, because of Lightwood. He seemed determined, and what he was going to do to me seemed as inevitable as slamming into the ground after falling from a great height.

His mouth moved behind my ear and he kissed down my neck. "You like that, don't you?" he asked.

It was undeniable that the mate bond made my body love it, because heat pooled down between my legs and there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop that reaction.

He ignored my lack of response, and continued kissing down my neck, pulling aside my shirt for better access.

"What the fuck is that?" he asked, ripping my shirt as he pulled it away from my marks.