Rejecting the Alpha

My thoughts had scattered at the sight of his bare stomach and chest, and those muscular arms... I forced my eyes to stay trained on his face.

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you," I said, turning my attention to the serious threat that Lightwood might face if I really were to stay here.

"About what? Why don't you come inside before the insects get in?"

I nodded, and hurried forward to accept his invitation. His scent slammed me in the face as he closed the door behind me, comforting and so very pleasingly male. My wolf revelled in the scent, it smelled so right.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." He walked down the hall and out of sight.

I contented myself with looking around the living room, a couch, a huge television, and a fireplace. It wasn't overly decorated, but I was pretty sure I could see remnants of his mate's touch in the artistic floral paintings on the wall and the items decorating the mantelpiece. I suspected that he had not changed much since her death.

My heart panged for him, because I knew what loss felt like, even if it wasn't the loss of a mate like he was experiencing. Whatever I was to him, would it only make things worse if I left?

I didn't want to hurt him.

Vander came out again, now wearing a t-shirt and I was honestly a bit disappointed, because whatever he was to me, he looked perfect in my eyes, every bit as attractive as the alpha, except the appeal of his personality matched my body's response.

The thought caught me off guard. If Alpha Gavriel really was my mate, should I not prefer him above all others? I knew I had felt the mate bond, but—

"Want something to drink?"

"Sure, water please," I said, happy to stall for a few minutes longer.

He returned to where I was sitting on the couch with a pair of glasses. He sat next to me, close, but not so close as to pressure me.

He was the direct opposite of that monster I had been mated to. I had to tell him. I shifted to look directly at Vander.

"My mate isn't just anyone in the Stonemason pack. He's the alpha."

I watched his reaction and there was surprisingly little shock on his face.

"You knew?" I asked.

"I surmised."

"How?"

"You said your mate was powerful, and plus, you were obviously terrified of Stonemason finding you, even though you’ve made it far from there. No alpha would consider sending out searches this far away for a mere runaway mate unless she was high ranked."

"Oh."

"I did have other theories, but that seemed the most likely. Then, combined with rumours about how Stonemason finally found a luna a few months ago..."

"People know about it?" I asked. I'd barely even met the pack.

"Just rumours. No one knows anything, really. They’re not the friendliest pack.”

I inhaled.

"How did you manage to get away?" he asked.

"Well, I—" I yelped as a pain wracked through me.

"What's wrong?" Vander said, moving closer and looking at me with clear concern. Then his eyes looked angry. "Is he...?"

I nodded, and then the next pain came.

"That son of a bitch."

I shook my head. "I should have rejected him properly before I—" I gritted my teeth as the next spasm hit me. "—ran away."

"He's still responsible for this," Vander said, his expression dark and his eyes golden. "You don't have to make excuses for what he's doing."

"I know," I agreed. "But he's not..."

More pain. Vander carefully picked me up and carried me away from the couch. "I can at least get you more comfortable."

He placed me in his bed. "You don't have to—"

"Kylie, I want to. Don't worry about it. You've carried enough on your shoulders so far."

"Don't you have to work tonight?"

His smile quirked again. "Not anymore. Our beta's switching things around, it's no problem."

"If you're sure?"

"Of course. I want to stay with you." He crouched down so he was at the level of my eyes.

I felt more tears pressing. I tried to force them back.

"You don't have to fight them, after everything you've gone through, it's normal. You can let it out."

"It's not fair, I'm bringing so many problems."

He put his hand on my forehead. It was a completely innocent gesture of kindness but even that flared up whatever was between us.

"Nah, don't worry. You can pay me back by coming with me to Darlene's grave next month and I'll cry on your shoulder then. It will be entirely unmanly so asking you to ignore it is a pretty tall order."

I managed to smile through my tears. "You know, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and discover all my time with you had just been a wonderful dream."

"No such luck."

I chuckled, as if meeting him could ever be considered anything but lucky.

Another pain, but his hand on my head made me feel better, perhaps even lessened the pain.

I considered something daring. Could I trust him? My heart cried yes, so in spite of everything I experienced, I met his eyes. "Will you sleep here with me?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"Well, it is your bed."

"Doesn't mean I can't give it up for a night, Kylie. Or more, if you need it."

"I know it might not be fair to you, but it does make me feel better when you're with me."

"I'm not complaining," he said, crawling into bed behind me, still fully clothed. I snuggled closer to him, and the pain of the next attack was not nearly so bad.