novelxo Chapter 184 Shade's Regrets
-----
Shade knew that they were heroes. He knew that they were supposed to save people, he knew all of this and more. Since he was awakened as a Hero that he had hated this.
He never liked being a Hero to begin with.
But over time, he realized that it was more than just appearances, it was more than just arrogance, and it was more than just stupid tales about heroic men and women that saved the princess from the demon king…
It was a duty.
A duty that he was given because the Gods of this world, the protectors of humanity, wanted him to become the protector of the people.
It wasn't just a fairy tale, there was a world in constant conflict, the two major races of the world were in constant war, constant bloodshed, constant tragedies.
He, who had seen all of this with his every two eyes, the young boy of back then, who saw how everything on his life was taken away by the demons in the war… He was the one that knew very well what war was, and how horrible it was.contemporary romance
There was nothing beautiful about war, only bloodshed and tragedy, and the laugher of the bastards that benefited from this in the back.
And because of this and more, Shade decided that he had to do something. With the powers he was gifted by the Gods, he couldn't simply act arrogantly…
He had a duty to do, and he, as a victim of war, wanted to correct the past and save the people he couldn't save before.
In simple terms, he wanted a change, and if nobody was going to do it, he was going to bring a change with his very two hands…
Shade looked into the pond of blood left by the Goblin Champion, his eyes seemed to be filled with contempt and sorrow.
At the end of that war… there was no satisfaction to him.
Only regret… He realized that his powers alone couldn't bring a change to the world, and that at the end of the day, the Heroes were unable to save everybody.
"I know that we cannot save everyone…" said Allan.
Shade looked at Allan with his aquamarine eyes, his good friend who had accompanied him through his entire journey knew very well how he felt.
"You're sad again? Come on, cheer up." Said Allan, patting his back.
"Allan… There is not a single day that I do not have nightmares about their screams…" sighed Shade.
"…"
Allan looked at Shade's eyes, they seemed to be asking for help. He was not right on his mind.
"You… Have you not talked this with Nepheline?" asked Allan.
"I haven't… I don't want to annoy her with my personal problems." Said Shade.
"You're really an idiot, aren't you? That's why you have a wife, so you can talk to her the things you cannot talk to other people so easily…" sighed Allan.
"…"
Shade seemed to be in silence for a while.
"Which screams?" asked Allan.
"I… Of the people dying… Of the amazon…" sighed Shade.
"Them?" asked Allan.
"No… more… It is as if they were haunting my dreams… the demons that the paladins killed… the soldiers… those… that asked for mercy…" said Shade.
Allan wasn't someone insensitive, he was also affected by the sins he had committed, but as a hero, he carried with them over his shoulders, and endured them the same way Shade did.
But Shade was different than Allan, his mental stability was less, mostly because of his past and all the tragedies he had lived.
He was a silent man because he covered himself in a shell made of ice, and was cold and silent because there was nobody that could comprehend him… well, back then.
Now, he had Nepheline and his friends… so he should really open up some more.
"Come on, you shouldn't be speaking this to me… But still… Shade, I also am a person that is affected by what we did…" said Allan.
"I always see you so happy and calm… What do you do for these things to not torment your mind?" asked Shade.
Allan smiled faintly, as he took out a small medallion with the portrait of his wife and his daughter.
"I just look at this, and all these dark thoughts disappear." Said Allan.
Shade's eyes opened wide as he smiled a bit.
The beautiful Faylen and the cute Sylphy were in that portrait, this image by itself was what drove Allan through the most perilous of situations, which most of the time were his own thoughts and his own traumas.
"I see…"
Shade sighed, he didn't had such a thing for his wife and his daughter. Although he always had them at the back of his mind, he realized that he might not hold them as closer as Allan did with his family.
"I guess… I am not someone that loves his family as much as you do…" sighed Shade.
Allan's eyebrows raised as he was left speechless.
And then…
SMACK!
"Ugh…!"
Allan hit him with a karate chop in the head.
"What was that for?!" asked Shade angrily.
"What the fuck was that for, Shade?!" roared Allan.
"What?! You were the one that hit me!" roared Shade.
"You're really an imbecile sometimes… Did you even hear what you just said?! "Maybe I don't love my family as much as you love yours"! What was that for?! You do! You love your family as much as I love mine!" roared Allan, he stood up and began to angrily yell at Shade as if he were a kid.
"You act like a stupid kid sometimes…" said Shade.
"And who are you to even say that when you said something so horrible? I am going to punch your stupid face if you ever say that in front of them!" roared Allan.
"…"
Shade was left speechless as he looked at his friend, he couldn't believe what he said.
-----
done.co