Refusing my Alpha mate

Clair

I went back to my Pack with my father and David, but when I got there Beta Jackson was already waiting for me in the living room.

"Another bust Jackson?" I asked him walking in with David behind me.

"Guard Oliver," Jackson responded and my gaze went straight to David.

"Get him ready for interrogation, I'll be right there," I said sighing and pulling out a chair to sit down.

A lot had happened in a very short time, and after a long time, I felt my thoughts aligning, and even when it came to making decisions for my Pack I was starting to recognize myself more.

"Alpha, we need to talk," Jackson said sitting next to me also pulling out a chair. "You've had your tea today, haven't you?" He asked me, looking directly into my eyes as if he was looking for the answer there, as if depending on what I answered he would change his speech.

At that moment my brain clicked, Veronica insisted so much that I take it that she even took it to my office even though Arthur came in upset. Why?

Why this absurd concern if I drink this tea?

And why did Arthur feel it burning when he put it in his mouth?

This all made me suspicious, I tried to think quickly about all the times I talked to Jackson, all the decisions we made together in those moments, and a chill ran down my spine when I remembered that most of them were administrative decisions, legislation, especially the guard, the sector which gave me the most headache now, in fact, he wanted another head of the guard, I insisted on David because he was my childhood friend, someone I trusted above all else, but even him I came to distrust.

But nothing compared when I remembered that all the decisions related to my mate were also made there, at that moment I froze, the cold that ran down my spine was so strong that I fidgeted in place, I tried to hide it, but I swear I'm not sure if I got it.

And it was even worse when I remembered that the idea of rejecting my mate came from Jackson, and my father never really had an opinion on it. Jackson always said that my father didn't like to talk about this subject, but that he wanted me to reject my mate so I wouldn't get hurt like he was hurt when he lost my mother.

Could I really be so manipulated, and by the second person I trusted most on earth?

My own Beta.

I decided to play his game, I opened a fake smile and said

"Yes Jackson, I took it earlier today," I responded, trying to convey as much truth as I could.

"Great Alpha, I was thinking, the Hausen Pack borders ours, Arthur is vulnerable now, you are his mate, he came here to comfort himself. It's the best time for you to ask for his rejection again, and challenge him. In addition to finally being free from the mate bond, because, in this state, he must accept your rejection. And rejected after losing his father, he is an easy target for you. We gained another territory, practically without effort." Jackson said, gesturing with his hands, so firmly that it seemed like he had been planning this for a long time.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

He was actually suggesting this?

But even though it seemed absurd to me, it was as if a remnant of that fog still wanted to believe in him, wanted to find something plausible. At that moment I appealed to her, I clung to the thoughts of my wolf, who wanted to simply rip Jackson's head off just for saying that.

I needed to think about what to do, I didn't know who to trust, I was the fucking Alpha there, but I was suspicious if my own Beta wasn't behind everything, even my ambush.

I wasn't safe there, I couldn't trust my Beta or my guards.

Who knows how many were actually involved in this?

I needed to warn Arthur, he was one of the only people I trusted at the moment, he would understand me and I needed to tell him that Jackson was setting him up and...

But first I needed to make Jackson think I agreed with this, it was the only way.

"I don't know Jackson, it would be too risky. And Arthur is vulnerable now, his father just passed away..." I said trying to hide it, but I really wanted to shout no.

"That's why we're going to take advantage of the opportunity." He said, raising his eyebrows, and rubbing his hands, a gesture so cold and calculating that it showed that he really planned this, and planned to manipulate me to achieve it.

"I'll think about it..." I just said, in fact I needed to run and tell Arthur "I'll interrogate the guard and then we'll talk about it again." After speaking, I just stood up, but Jackson held my arm tightly.

"Don't forget, Arthur means nothing to you, he'll only get in your way." His phrase was familiar to me, and I thought how many times he hadn't told me that, and made me believe it. "And the guards are just assistants to those involved in the Council, there is no one else inside." The second sentence was also familiar, and I felt so angry at being manipulated that I felt my face turn red, and a tear form in the corner of my eye.

"Okay," I just said and turned around, so he wouldn't see my reaction.

I hurried to my guard headquarters, I wanted to run, but I couldn't, my guards passed by me saluting me, but at that moment I didn't even know if I could trust them.

I went directly to the saddles to talk to David, I was supposed to do the debriefing, but I just didn't have time.

I went in and wiped away an angry tear that ran down my cheek, I tried to control my breathing, but my heart was beating so hard that it felt like it was going to jump out of my mouth.

"Alpha." David greeted me but furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head to the side to understand my expression.

"David, you will do the interrogation alone, I need to go to Arthur," I said, pulling him by the arm to a corner, and speaking quietly, so only he could hear. "I don't know who to trust anymore, there are more insiders involved. Be careful." David received my words with apprehension, he opened his lips in astonishment and exhaled.

"Alpha, what are you talking about?" He asked with an even more worried tone of voice.

"I need to see Arthur, don't trust Jackson, or do anything he orders. Don't tell anyone about this, and wait until I get back." I said letting go of my arm and leaving.

I got in my car and drove to the Hausen Pack, it wasn't far, but it never seemed to get there, I tried to control my breathing, I tried to calm down, but I just needed to talk to Arthur, I needed to make sure he was okay, and I I needed his help to know what to do.

He always knew what to do.

Arriving at their Pack House, I ran through the door, but I didn't feel him, I knew he wasn't there, I only saw Annie sitting on the sofa at the entrance drinking a cup of tea.

"Alfa Clair, dear, Arthur ran after you a little while ago." She told me as soon as I arrived.

I sighed, damn, for him to run after me, he must have discovered something too.

"Really? I came to talk to him. I needed to talk to him." I said, still panting, I didn't know what else to do.

"Sit here, wait with me for a while, he should be back." She told me patting the couch next to her twice. "He must go to your Pack and seeing that you are not there, he comes back." She told me smiling.

"Alright, I'll wait." I sighed before sitting down next to her, and in fact, at the moment I felt safer there than in my own Pack.

And I watched her for a few seconds, sitting drinking her cup of tea, and even after losing her husband so recently, she looked...serene.

"You can ask, honey." I realized that Arthur's ability to read people was her inheritance.

"You seem, fine..." It wasn't a question, but it was me trying to understand.

"I'm fine, as far as possible, fine..." She told me, turning to me, smiling, and then taking another sip of tea and turning forward. "I just lost my mate, my husband, and my Alpha." She said looking down and swallowing hard. "But at the same time, I lived 35 wonderful years with him, we commanded this Pack together and raised an incredible son together, he fulfilled his mission here. And I'm happy to have shared this experience with him..." She added and that brought a tear to my eye.

"But don't you feel it, pain? Suffering?" The question practically escaped my lips.

"I feel it, I feel it, dear. But nothing compares to the love I feel too, and the happiness I experienced with him. In fact, if I had met Augustus, and lost him the next day, it would have been worth it." She said taking another sip of tea.

"But... but they always told me that my father changed after losing my mother and..." I started to say and shook my head, I was feeling every certainty I had in life, crumble.

"Grief hits people in different ways, my daughter, but I'm sure if you ask your father if it was worth meeting your mother, I'm sure of his answer," Annie told me, turning completely towards me, and my lips opened.

"But I was always afraid of my mate, that's why, in loving and losing everything, in transforming myself, or transforming him with the loss, and, that maybe it wasn't worth it, and..." I started to say, trying to find some sense in things that I previously saw as absolute truths.

"Love is always worth it, Clair. And we should never be afraid to live things, especially for fear of losing, that's what makes them valuable. Right?" The ability to always know what to say, Arthur inherited from her too.

Annie's words hit me, and I felt some tears flow, when I realized that my father had never said that it wasn't worth it, I had created this in my head because of Jackson's influence, he wanted to keep me and Arthur away all the time, he was the one who had defined so many things in my head, that now little by little I was able to see what was really me, and what was him.

And it hurt me, knowing that I rejected Arthur, that I treated him that way, that I was a complete idiot, selfish and immature.

It hurt me.

It hurt me because I was a manipulable puppet in the hands of my Beta, and I almost lost the love of my life because of it.

And if Arthur had been a little less insistent, loved me a little less, he would have given up on me by now.

"I need to find him," I said to Annie, getting up quickly, I needed to find Arthur as quickly as possible.

"Honey, wait, he should be back," Annie said, but I ignored it, I left the door of the Pack House and went towards my car, I thought about running, but honestly, I didn't know which would go faster, and my wolf was ready.

But I got in the car and drove towards my Pack, if I was nervous on the way there, on the way back, I could feel every pump of my heart, full of adrenaline coursing through my veins, I was a time bomb, ready to explode.

When I was almost at the border, I saw a car pass me, the smell was his, and I turned my face just to see Arthur looking at me too, I immediately stopped the car ahead, and I heard him stopping abruptly too. I opened the door and ran towards him, without bothering to close it.

I ran with the desperation of seeing him well, of needing to hug him, of needing to feel his heart, and of needing to feel safe again, the way I only felt in his arms.

Arthur came towards me and I let our bodies collide, and I had never felt so good hugging him. He held me tight for a few seconds, wrapping his arms at my sides, but then he pulled me away, holding my shoulders and looking at me deeply.

"Clair, we need to talk, I need to tell you something and..." He started to speak, but I had so much stuck in my throat that I needed to speak first.

"Listen to me first. I love you. You are the most incredible and wonderful thing that has ever happened in my life, but I was manipulated into rejecting you, I was manipulated, I don't know exactly how, to ruin everything. I was afraid of having you and losing you, or you lose me and transform yourself, but that's not how love works, in love we need to take risks too, and you're worth them all. I was afraid of losing my position for being with you, but You're worth losing every position in the world, and you're so incredible, that being by your side, I know I can be whatever I want." I said without pause, everything that was in my heart, without even taking a breath between one sentence and another, and I needed to take a breath now. It was as if I always wanted to say this, but fog prevented me from seeing, dealing with, and processing my feelings. "And I'm sorry for how I treated you all this time, thank you for not giving up on us, thank you for not giving up on me."

Some of you already had a feeling about the tea and Jackson and Veronica.... Let's see what emotions are waiting for us in the next chapters...