Refusing my Alpha mate

Clair

I spent the rest of the night with Arthur there, sitting in a hospital chair, I couldn't leave him alone, but he forced me to go home and take a shower. I went to my room and took a shower, changed into some comfortable clothes, I was going back to the hospital and I didn't know how long it would take. I asked Veronica to prepare a basket of loaves of bread to take to them, Arthur and Annie, they simply hadn't eaten until then. But when I got out of the shower and went to the living room to get the basket and go back to the hospital, Veronica, in addition to the basket, also made my tea.

"Clair dear, I made your tea too, Jackson wanted to talk to you, he said it's been a few days since you two talked, could you wait for him to come back?" She asked me, pushing the cup on the table towards me and I saw the basket on the other end of the table. I hated wasting the tea, but it was always a time-consuming moment, and I didn't have the time now.

"Unfortunately I can't, Veronica, I need to go see Arthur at the hospital," I said back to her looking directly at the basket. "The basket is ready, right?"

"Yes, dear. But are you sure? Are you going to take it to him? Won't that give this man hope in vain? You're still going to reject him, the more time you spend with him the worse." She told me raising her eyebrow as she dried some dishes.

I hadn't told anyone that I simply didn't reject Arthur anymore, no one knew, only the Alphas who were at the meeting, and after the news of Augustus being hospitalized, that was all anyone talked about, our subject was left aside, and at the moment I preferred it that way.

"I am sure," I replied back walking towards the basket.

"Have the tea, at least." Veronica insisted, and I was almost reaching out to take it and drink it in one gulp to get it over with.

But I heard a howl, a howl of pain and despair, coming from outside, I opened my eyes wide and ran outside.

I knew who it was, deep down in my being, my wolf and I knew it was him. And there I felt my heart break because of what he was feeling.

When I arrived outside, I saw Arthur's gray wolf running towards my Pack House, but he stopped a little in front of our courtyard, still on a hill, the wolf howled again, the sound loud in pain, and he then turned into a human, fell to his knees, and I ran towards him, with every step I just wanted to collide our bodies and hug him so tight that I would put the pieces of his heart back together. He still on his knees hugged me tightly, his hands wrapped around my hips, while he said in a broken voice.

"He's gone, Clair. He's gone…." He said, crying without control, and I felt all his pain there, I just wish I could rip everything out with my hand, and take away all the pain and suffering.

But I couldn't do that, the only thing I could do was take care of him.

I would take care of him.

I hugged him back, as tight as I could, then slowly moved his face away.

"Come on, let's go in," I said slowly, looking him in the eyes.

He just nodded his head.

And I helped Arthur get up, I put his arm around my body, even though I knew I was too small to offer him physical support. I mentally thanked a guard who brought a blanket without me even asking. I wrapped Arthur in the blanket and we entered the Pack House, I took him straight to my office and sat him on one of my sofas.

Veronica came in right behind with the basket and the cup.

I confess that I wanted to shout at her to just go away, but I didn't want to make things worse and I didn't need to, she soon left.

I sat down next to him and patted my lap twice.

"You don't need to say anything, only if you want, I'll just be here by your side, existing. Is that okay?" I said as Arthur adjusted the blanket and lay down on my lap.

I ran my hands through his hair and I heard him sigh.

"Thanks." That's what he managed to say amidst the sobs and crying.

And I stayed there, with him, just keeping him company, letting him feel his grief, and at a certain point he ended up sleeping on my lap, and after a while, I dozed off too.

I woke up to two knocks on the door, and I had just opened my eyes when I saw my father enter, alone.

"Hey." He said looking at Arthur lying on my lap.

"Hey," I said, passing my hand over my face and trying to adjust myself without moving, so as not to wake Arthur. "He slept a little while ago. We were up all night at the hospital, I think he needed that rest." I said almost whispering.

"I'm proud of you for staying there with him." My father's words took me by surprise, I really didn't expect to hear that, and I think it showed on my face.

Wouldn't my father be disappointed if I accepted Arthur?

"But you're okay?" He asked me directly.

"As much as possible, I'm sad, but I want to be okay, for him." I answered. "I wish I could do more, has anyone seen about the funeral, I don't think Annie will be able to do that..."

"I came to talk to you because I'm going there with David, I'm going to offer my help to Beta John and we'll see how Annie is doing. Don't worry, we'll organize the wake and burial, you're already doing a lot here." My father said looking at Arthur. "Tell him not to worry, we'll take care of everything." My father said, taking a loaf of bread from the basket and leaving my office.

Arthur dozed for a few more minutes, before fidgeting in my lap. He sat up and rubbed his face.

I thought about asking if he was feeling better, but I knew the answer would be no.

"Veronica made me some tea if you'd like," I said pointing to the cup in front of us on the coffee table.

"Can help." He said, taking the cup and taking a sip, but then spitting out the entire contents of the tea. "It burns." He said making me frown and pick up the tea that was already iced.

"But it's completely cold already."

"And it's bitter."

"That's right, I think I've gotten used to it," I said shrugging and pushing the cup away. "Veronica made some bread too, I know you haven't eaten since yesterday. Eat something and let's go upstairs so you can take a shower. Is that okay?" I said and Arthur just nodded, he took a sweet bread from the basket, bit into it, and rubbed the back of his head sighing before saying.

"I need to go back, check on my mother, and see about the funeral and the wake and…" He said as I saw tears form in the corner of his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. My dad and David went to your Pack, they're going to help John with the wake and the burial and check on your mom. My dad told you not to worry. After your shower, we can go there." I said in the sweetest tone of voice I could muster.

He sighed and let the tears fall.

"Really?" Arthur asked me apprehensively.

"Really. You need to get better first." I said taking a sweet bread too.

We ate together, in silence, I got him a guard uniform and helped him up the stairs, I took Arthur to my current room, which was different from the one we slept in together that time, it was a much bigger room, and it had even an anteroom, and a huge bathroom next to it, actually my father who insisted on moving me.

"I changed rooms, but it was actually my father who insisted on moving me," I said smiling as I pointed to the bed, and Arthur sat there looking around the room. "I'm going to run a bath, just wait a minute."

I went to the bathroom, which was just separated by a glass wall, filled the bathtub, and took some essential oils from the bathroom cabinet, I used lavender, it was supposed to calm down and I thought he would need it. The bathtub was ready when I went to my bed and pulled Arthur by the hand, he came, letting the blanket fall to the floor, walking completely naked with me to the bathroom. Seeing him naked made my brain spin, it had been a long time since I had this vision, but I needed to concentrate, he was vulnerable now, and I respected that.

Arthur entered the bathtub and I watched the water rise and his muscles relax with the hot water as he sat lightly away from the edge. I took a sponge and positioned myself behind him as I dipped the sponge in the water and lightly rubbed it over his back, but when my hand went over his shoulder he grabbed my wrist and gently pulled my arm forward as his body touched the edge of the bathtub, making me hug him there. Arthur took the sponge out of my hand, and kissed my palm, then rubbed his face lightly with it. It was such an intimate moment, but at the same time so light, that it made my heart race, but in a good way.

"You didn't have to do all that." He said in a whisper.

I let go of his embrace, walked around the tub, to face him, and rested my arms on the edge before saying.

"Yes, I needed it." I lifted my gaze to meet his, and his green eyes enveloped me. "I am your mate, my obligation is to take care of you." I didn't even expect to say that, but it was true, it came from the deep of my heart, and I felt it, it felt like a certainty. And Arthur certainly wasn't expecting to hear it, I heard a growl come from deep in his chest.

It was as if since the meeting, the dense cloud that had been flying over my thoughts was slowly disciplining itself. And it was like my feelings were aligning, clearing themselves.

"And you've saved me so many times, I'm doing the minimum." I smiled, and so did he. As I lightly ran my fingers over his cheeks.

Strong chapter, but also full of clues. I need to know if anyone here has any theories?

And I need to warn you... Fasten your seatbelts, tomorrow's chapter is promising.