Raze the Night (Nightstar Book 2)

Fennrin had been scared Daryan might punish him for what had happened, but he’d been strangely silent. At least Fennrin thought so. He’d not been paying much attention to the outside world, stuck in his grief. It had been hours, and he’d still not said anything to Fennrin.

Now that they were alone, Fennrin had expected that this would be the time for Daryan to speak, but he was still staying quiet.

Usually, Fennrin would assume something horrible would follow that silence, but he couldn’t help but care about that right now. Not when Ainreth’s life was on the line.

“I need to go save him,” Fennrin said quietly, swallowing at how shaky his voice still was.

“No,” Daryan immediately said in his usual firm tone. It had been enough to make Fennrin be quiet in the past, but right now, it wasn’t enough it seemed.

“We can’t let Orinovo have him,” Fennrin protested, his voice growing just a little desperate. “They might use him to find out how to make lightweavers.”

Daryan hesitated, but then he scowled at Fennrin, making him wince. “Or they might not. And he’s likely dead already.”

“You can’t know that!” Fennrin snapped at Daryan, springing up from the couch and glaring at him. He had no idea where all of this was coming from, but he couldn’t just sit here and leave Ainreth to his fate.

Daryan got up too, drawing himself to his full height, taller than Fennrin. It made Fennrin want to shrink away, but he stood his ground. No matter how terrifying it was.

“You do as I say, is that clear, Fennrin?” Daryan told him, not raising his voice, but the impact of the words was so great that Daryan might as well have been yelling at him. “Is that clear?”

Fennrin ducked his head, staring at the floor, but he didn’t answer the question. Instead, he whispered: “I was wrong.”

Daryan narrowed his eyes. “What did you say?”

“I was wrong!” Fennrin snapped, meeting the other man’s gaze again. His teeth were gritted, angry with himself, angry with Daryan, angry at everyone and everything.

“I was wrong to ever doubt Ainreth’s intentions. He readily sacrificed himself for us, for Lys-Akkaria. He didn’t hesitate for a moment. He could have killed me or captured me but didn’t. He ran to meet Orinovo’s army so both the rebels and our soldiers would live.”

Fennrin sniffled and swallowed thickly. “A coward wouldn’t do that. A traitor wouldn’t do that!”

Daryan stayed silent for a moment, his face blank. If Fennrin didn’t know any better, he would think that he was stunned.

And then he hugged him. Fennrin’s eyes went wide, but he hesitantly hugged back. He could feel the sting of tears yet again, but he didn’t let them fall.

“Come on,” Daryan told him, pulling him to the table and nudging him to sit down, all the while carding his fingers through Fennrin’s hair. “You’ve had an awful, exhausting day. I’ll make you something to help you relax. And then you’ll get some sleep.”

Fennrin shook his head. “But—”

“We’ll figure out what to do tomorrow. But for now you need to rest.”

Fennrin wanted to protest again, but it was true. He was exhausted, stressed, horribly guilty and worried. He wasn’t thinking clearly at all either, and he realized it. He was just so desperate to save Ainreth, return the favor if nothing else.

But Fennrin knew that Daryan was right. He would be much more useful after he rested, no matter how much he still yearned to go to Orinovo this instant.

Daryan brewed tea while Fennrin tried not to cry. It was all just so much. He felt like he might explode. But he was also so very tired that he was certain none of his raging emotion even showed on his face.

He looked down at the shiny wood of the table, seeing his muddy reflection staring blankly at him.

Looking away, he wiped his eyes, shuddering and sniffing. He barely acknowledged when Daryan put a steaming teacup in front of him.

Daryan sat down next to Fennrin, blowing on the tea. “You’ll feel better once you drink this. But do it slowly, it’s very strong.”

Fennrin sighed, staring at the cup dispassionately as it cooled. If this didn’t make him feel better, he wasn’t above drinking until he passed out.

He finally took a sip once a few minutes passed, the tea still uncomfortably hot but not scalding. He just wanted to feel better for a moment, and if this managed it, then he wanted to drink it as quickly as possible.

It tasted like any other herbal tea, and Fennrin wouldn’t have high hopes for this working, if not for the fact that everything Daryan had ever given him having worked.

And indeed, a few moments later, the grief that was crushing him to the point of it being difficult to breathe was easing off. Warmth filled his chest as his vision grew a bit fuzzy, but Fennrin found that comforting almost. Things were less clear, and they stabbed his heart much less.

“There, that’s better, isn’t it?” Daryan said gently, pulling him closer. Fennrin nodded, blinking. What had he been so upset about just a moment ago? It all seemed so muddy.

Daryan picked up the mug, holding it out to him. “Drink a bit more, hm?”

Fennrin did, enjoying the taste, feeling all warm and light, as if everything weighing him down had disappeared.

“You know I love you, don’t you, my darling?” Daryan whispered in his ear.

Fennrin nodded, smiling. All he could see was Daryan. All that mattered was Daryan.

“Do you love me?”

Fennrin nodded again, not hesitating for one moment. He felt a bit like he was in a dream. It was wonderful “Of course I love you.”

“Good, good,” Daryan said, kissing his temple. “I’m the only one you love, and I’m the only one who will ever love you truly and always. Do you understand?”

Fennrin nodded, blinking as his vision got too blurry to properly see Daryan. Of course he agreed with all of that. Why wouldn’t he? But he felt like he was forgetting something. Something…sad. What could it—

“You are mine forever, Fenn,” Daryan said sweetly, kissing the top of his head, making Fennrin’s previous thoughts disappear. He couldn’t really focus on thoughts in general. He just felt nice and relaxed next to Daryan, bothered by nothing.

“And you are mine?” Fennrin smiled, nuzzling Daryan who hummed in agreement.

“Everything will be okay, Fenn. Just do as I say,” he said, and Fennrin nodded. Why wouldn’t he do what Daryan told him too? Why would this even be a question?

“Now finish your tea,” Daryan told him, handing him the cup. Fennrin drank it down, his eyelids growing heavy.

“Good boy. Very good.”

Fennrin smiled, closing his eyes as Daryan started stroking his hair. He liked hearing he did something well.

He was practically asleep as Daryan picked him up and carried him to their bed.

“Things will be better tomorrow. You’ll see.”

Fennrin wanted to ask what was wrong now that needed getting better. He couldn’t remember anything being wrong. But he couldn’t get a word out, too tired and already falling asleep, only hearing Daryan say one more thing.

“Everything will be better tomorrow.”