Raze the Night (Nightstar Book 2)

Fennrin had known Ainreth would get punished for what he’d done. But to watch the punishment Daryan had chosen, to assist in it happening….

He still felt sick to his stomach. His hands shook. He could still hear Ain’s screams of pain. And Daryan was so…unaffected by it.

He was his usual calm, collected self. Usually that would calm Fennrin too, but now it just unnerved him. How could he be so casual after whipping Ainreth the way he had? Was it just his age that desensitized him to these things?

“You hesitated,” Daryan commented as they entered his chambers, closing the door behind Fennrin. Fennrin blinked because he hadn’t even realized they’d entered.

“Well, yes,” Fennrin said, shaking his head. He couldn’t stop his insides from twisting into knots. “Of course I did. I didn’t expect you to…involve me like that.”

Daryan studied him for a moment, his eyes filling with sympathy. It did make it a little easier for Fennrin to breathe. He put his hands on his shoulders next, kissing his forehead.

“I apologize for that,” he said, stroking Fennrin’s hair, pulling him into a hug. Fennrin took a few deep breaths, still shaking.

“What about whipping Ain? You didn’t mention you were going to do that either.”

Daryan hummed and then sighed, still holding Fennrin close. Fennrin himself was holding onto him too, feeling a little desperate for comfort after witnessing that.

“I had to punish him severely somehow. Or would you have rather he were executed?”

Fennrin swallowed thickly. Of course he didn’t want that. And Ainreth had brought it on himself, but this was still so much. He really hoped that Ainreth was getting treatment from his friends right now.

“I wanted to see your reaction, Fenn,” Daryan said, making Fennrin frown and pause. “I wanted to know if you would do the right thing, even if it involved your former lover being hurt.”

“You…you tested me?” Fennrin didn’t know how he felt about this. But he was definitely upset.

“I know you mean well, my darling. You would never betray me,” Daryan said, pressing his nose against Fennrin’s temple. “But sometimes emotions are complicated. I simply wanted to know how in control of yours you are.”

“You should have told me,” Fennrin said, still horribly upset and a little hurt. This wasn’t okay to do. “I would have at least known what was going to happen.”

“But then you wouldn’t have reacted how you might in a situation you cannot predict,” Daryan told him. Fennrin had nothing to say to that. He supposed that was true. But he stood by feeling hurt by it.

“You doubt yourself a lot, Fenn,” Daryan continued. “I needed you to face the fact that once day soon, it is very, very likely that you will have to face Ainreth. And I wanted to prove to you that you can do it. No matter what, you will choose to do the right thing, even if it’s intensely difficult, even if it breaks your heart.”

Fennrin blinked, shocked by this. “You…you planned that? To make me…more confident?”

Daryan hummed, nodding. “I know you worry about it. I saw how shaken up you were when you were telling me about Ainreth accosting you in your room.”

Fennrin wasn’t sure what to think of this at all. When he looked at it this way, he could see the merit of it he supposed. But it had still been horrible.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Daryan asked him, pulling away enough to look at him.

“I…yes.” Fennrin sighed and nodded. “Of course I trust you.”

“Then trust that what I am doing is important and necessary,” he said, kissing the top of his head. Fennrin pressed his face into Daryan’s chest. “Even if it is not always pleasant.”

Fennrin continues to cling. “I am with you.”

“I know you are,” Daryan said, kissing his forehead. “And I am with you. Together we see this through. We are so close.”

Fennrin repeated those words to himself in his head. They truly were so close. The protests had largely been dampened, and if anything people were mostly complaining about the law about their Orinovan population rather than anything about the war itself. They would likely leave for Orinovo again soon.

Fennrin sighed. It was a little sad that he yearned for the battlefield. It was so simple over there. He was little more than an executioner. He simply killed who he was told to kill and in doing so they progressed.

“Just follow my lead, my darling,” Daryan muttered to him, his voice so soothing. Yes, Fennrin just wanted to follow orders. He didn’t want to make decisions. Decisions were disastrous, usually. “I’ll take care of everything.”

Fennrin nodded. He would just do as Daryan told him. It would be simpler. He was much smarter and wiser than Fennrin, after all. He just needed to stop questioning every move he made.

Fennrin blinked when Daryan picked him up and carried him over to their bed.

“I’ll take care of you, as well,” he said to him as he put Fennrin on the bed and began to undress him.

Fennrin nodded even though he wasn’t really in the mood for this. Maybe it would help him forget for a few minutes, though. He always felt calmer and better after they made love, at least, if nothing else.

As Daryan finished undressing him and turned him over, starting to use vines from a nearby potted plant to tie him up tightly, Fennrin winced, feeling bruises there from the night before.

He did not like arguing with Daryan about these things, but he felt he should probably say something.

“Could you maybe not tie me so tightly?” he asked, craning his neck to look back at Daryan.

The older man’s eyes widened, the vines that were currently tying his ankles together pausing.

“Oh, do you not like that? I thought—” Daryan shook his head, looking very disappointed. He sighed heavily. “Apologies. You simply look so wonderful like this. I didn’t realize.”

Fennrin’s heart clenched with guilt. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and clearly it meant a lot to Daryan. He could put up with this for him.

“No, it’s okay,” Fennrin shook his head. “It’s fine. Please. Keep going.”

“Do stop me if you need to, Fenn,” Daryan told him before the vines started to move again, tying together his legs and then his arms, binding them to his chest, leaving him immobile. And then, as usual, vines also wrapped themselves around his mouth, silencing him.

Daryan liked that in particular. But then, so did Fennrin. And he could stop it at any point. His hands were free, after all. He could rip the vines into pieces and free himself if he wanted to.

But with a lover like Daryan, there was no need for that. They trusted each other, and that was a most glorious feeling.