Proof (Targes Executive Protection Book 1)

“Hey, you okay?”

The voice wasn’t particularly loud, but considering my head felt like it was going to twist right off my body, the guy could have been screaming in my ear.

I was sick of the question that my brother and pretty much everyone I’d come into contact with during the past week kept asking me.

Well, that wasn’t quite true. Only one or two of the guys who’d fucked me at Tank’s had asked me that, probably because I’d been so unresponsive. I hadn’t even been able to fake the moans of pleasure my hookups liked to hear while they were fucking me. Thankfully, none of the guys had been interested in getting me off, so they hadn’t noticed or hadn’t cared that my dick had remained limp the entire time.

“Yeah,” I muttered as I reached into my pocket for the small bottle of aspirin.

The guy I was with was new. Luckily, he was even less chatty than Axel, who’d barely spoken more than a handful of words to me outside of the ones related to the job.

Boone. That was this guy’s name. I had no clue if it was his first name or his last. I didn’t really care, either. It could have been anyone behind the wheel; I wasn’t looking at faces.

Just like I hadn’t looked at any of the faces of the men who’d used my body the first few nights I’d gone to Tank’s after my disturbing run-in with Cass.

I would have liked to dismiss my pounding head as the result of drinking too much the night before, but I hadn’t had even a drop of alcohol when I’d gotten to Tank’s. I hadn’t had any guys, either. I’d sat at the bar for half an hour sipping a glass of club soda. Several men had come up to me and spoken things in my ear in an effort to steal me away from the bar, but I hadn’t responded to any of them. Not physically and not verbally.

There’d been only one man on my mind and while it had been a week since our encounter, thoughts of Cass and that kiss—that goddamn kiss—had taken up most of the real estate in my head for the entire seven days.

My run-in with Cass had sent me scrambling to Tank’s the second Axel and I had been relieved of duty for the day. I’d immediately tossed back enough shots of cheap scotch to make my head spin and then I’d let some guy tug me off the barstool and to the back of the club. We hadn’t even made it to the bathroom before the guy had pressed me face-first against the wall, yanked my jeans down and thrust himself inside of me. I’d lost track of how many men had taken me after that. I’d lost track of a lot of things.

Time.

Place.

People.

But not Cass.

My mind hadn’t been able to disconnect from reality like it always had before while nameless, faceless men used me. I hadn’t been able to lose myself in the haze where I was no longer JJ, the former cop turned fuck toy for complete strangers. The price to get to that place was high and included doing a lot of ugly shit, things I never would have even considered doing before a bullet had ripped through my brain, but once I was in there, the silence, warmth, and safety were worth it because I got to be any version of the JJ I wanted to be before I’d lost a chunk of my life to a bullet and endless darkness.

In that dreamlike place, I could be the kid who’d helped the guy I’d hero-worshipped build his dream car. It let me be the JJ who’d made both his father and brother so proud when he’d graduated from the LAPD police academy. The silence had given me permission to go back to any moment in my life that I wanted. Time always stopped in that place, and it let me remain hidden until the numbing effects of the alcohol wore off. When I was really lucky, I got to see the woman who’d given birth to me. I’d had to make up a voice for her because I couldn’t remember her real one, but I hadn’t been there to talk anyway. I’d just walked into my mother’s waiting arms and sobbed as she’d held me and promised me that everything would be okay.

Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to find that peace again from the moment Cass had grabbed me on the side of that canyon road and kissed me. I’d tried to forget the feel of his mouth moving over mine by downing shots between a couple of rough fucks, but the place I’d needed to escape to hadn’t materialized, and I’d sat at the bar sipping club soda until I was sober enough to drive or at least hail my own cab.

The previous night had been my third night where I hadn’t even bothered to tie one on and let someone fuck me in the hopes of getting back to my dream world. In fact, I had physically cringed when any man had tried to touch me, and any drinks a guy had bought me in the hopes of buying my compliance had remained untouched. I would have given anything to say it was because my mind was preoccupied by the physical danger I was in from Cass, but my bullshit meter had an annoying way of working when there was no alcohol to silence it.

The reality was that I was worried about Cass, but not because of any physical harm he might be looking to inflict upon me.

No amount of alcohol could wash away the taste of his kiss. I didn’t want just any guy holding me in place while he took control of my body. It was Cass’s weight pinning me against the trunk of his car that still made my dick throb with need a week after it had happened. My neck had continued to tingle where he’d grabbed me just before his mouth had covered mine. His heat, his strength, his beauty—everything about Cass had consumed my senses.

The most sickening part of every moment after Cass and I had kissed was the fact that any man who’d touched me from that night on had made my stomach cramp with more than too much liquor in its system. I hadn’t made it to my quiet place those first few nights, no matter how many guys had shoved their dicks inside of me or how many times I’d demanded to be fucked harder, faster, deeper. I’d never found physical satisfaction with any of the men I’d been with. Not a single one. That wasn’t what the guys had been for. They’d been to help me reach those too-short moments of peace. After Cass had kissed me and I hadn’t found that peace with any of the guys at Tank’s, it had gotten so much worse.

While I’d been sobering up at the bar or stumbling to my room after Tank had refused to return my car keys to me, there was only one thing I felt. This god-awful, unbelievable level of guilt.

Guilt.

I might not have exactly been proud of the things I did at Tank’s in the past, but I’d never felt guilty about any of it. So to feel that powerful emotion every night from the moment Cass had kissed me was slowly eating away at me.

I owed the man nothing.

Less than nothing, if there was such a thing.

Yet even now, my stomach ached as shame ate away at my insides. It felt like… like being with all those guys the first few nights after Cass had kissed me had been wrong. Not because of the recklessness of my behavior but because every dick inside me, every hand holding me in place, every dirty word spoken in my ear had made it feel like I’d been giving something away that belonged to someone else.

In simple terms, I felt like I’d cheated on Cass.

That was when I’d switched from alcohol to club soda at Tank’s before going home. I hadn’t let any man touch me. I hadn’t wanted any man to touch me.

Well, that wasn’t quite the truth.

There was one man…

“Where the fuck are those guys?” I heard Boone snap. His anger was enough to pull me from my thoughts of Cass. I realized we’d just driven through the actress’s driveway gate. I immediately saw the same thing Boone had.

No black SUV.

No guards.

The men we’d been sent to relieve had left their post early. Protocol stated that the client was never left without at least one Targes agent standing guard.

“Fucking mercenary wannabes,” Boone said angrily.

Before my brother had even gotten his business fully off the ground, it had gotten more attention than he’d expected. The fact that Targes supplied protection to clients who traveled all around the world had added to the problem. My brother just hadn’t been ready for such quick growth. He still wasn’t. So he was temporarily using contract help—guys who met the minimum qualifications for the job but weren’t full-time employees and probably never would be. They were guys who thought executive protection in LA meant being part of the glitz and glamour of movie premieres, playing the part of big, badass bodyguard to beautiful actresses and supermodels and rubbing elbows with the biggest names in Hollywood. They were also guys who didn’t care about things like rules and protocols.

“Shit,” I said the second the SUV came to an abrupt stop at the front door.

It was wide open.

“Going around back,” Boone said as he pulled his gun from his shoulder holster. I did the same but went for the front door. My police training kicked in as I began clearing the rooms one by one. Like so many of the houses in the neighborhood, this one was built into the hill. From the front it appeared to be one level but once inside it turned into a two-story. The lower level consisted of an assortment of rooms including a gym, sauna, and outdoor pool. Since I knew Boone would cover that floor as he entered the house from the back, I continued clearing rooms on the main level. As badly as I wanted to reach the young woman’s bedroom, I knew better than to rush my search.

By the time I did reach her door, my heart was pounding, and my head was throbbing. My palm was slick as I turned the knob. It didn’t take long to find her. Muffled sobs were coming from the balcony along with hushed whispers. I moved further into the room, making sure to keep my back protected while still maintaining a visual on the balcony. I sensed Boone’s presence in the bedroom doorway behind me. Without looking at him, I signaled in the direction of the balcony.

It felt like it took forever to reach the open sliding door that led to a spacious balcony. I already knew that its design offered several weak spots in terms of areas where someone could place themselves and not be in immediate sight of the door.

That wasn’t the case this time.

As soon as I reached the door, I spotted the young actress and the man standing behind her. The man was glassy-eyed and nervous. He had one hand over the woman’s mouth and the other had a gun pressed against her ribs.

“Everything okay, Jenna?” I asked.

The woman was crying but she nodded, which was smart of her.

The guy leaned in and whispered something in Jenna’s ear. He shoved the gun hard into her side when it took her too long to open her mouth after he dropped his hand so she could speak.

“You, um, you can go. I’m okay. He’s a friend of mine. He’s not going to hurt me.”

I had to applaud Jenna’s ability to stay calm. She’d always struck me as some whiny, loud, overindulged young woman who thought the world revolved around her. Although there hadn’t been any credible evidence that she had been in any true danger beyond a couple of explicit and disturbing so-called love letters from a fan, my brother had taken her case as seriously as he did with any client who sought his help.

“She’s coming with me!” the guy screamed as he pointed the gun at me. Blinding pain scorched the length of my scar as all the nerve endings seemed to start misfiring one by one.

Not now. Not now.

Jenna’s terrified eyes helped me to ignore the pain and focus on the situation. I had enough cover to shield myself if the guy pulled the trigger, but I could tell he wasn’t there just yet. He still believed he could walk out of this with Jenna on his arm.

“She loves me,” the man continued. I could tell he was high on something. From the track marks on the inside of his elbow, it was likely heroin, but it could have been just about anything.

“I know she does,” I responded. I lowered my weapon since I knew Boone had my back. The guy was using Jenna as a human shield but if I could get the man to move even a little, Boone would have a clear shot.

“We’re just here because Jenna was telling us how wobbly this railing is,” I said as I moved a foot closer, enough to let me touch the balcony’s railing. “The guys are coming tomorrow to fix it, isn’t that right, Jenna?”

Jenna sucked in a harsh breath. “Yeah, yeah.”

“So how about you step away from the side so you and Jenna don’t get hurt. You don’t want Jenna to get hurt, do you?”

Between my comment about the railing and not letting Jenna get hurt, the guy seemed confused. He wasn’t completely out of it, though. He kept glancing at the ground below the balcony and then at me and Boone. I saw the moment that clarity returned, and I knew what he was going to do before he did it. When he shoved Jenna forward, I managed to catch her and take her to the ground with me as I covered her body with mine.

The guy’s gun went off but thankfully he was a shitty shot, so the bullet whizzed past us and shattered the glass door behind Boone. Between the glass breaking into a million pieces and Jenna and me in Boone’s line of sight, he couldn’t risk taking his own shot.

I released Jenna and launched myself at the guy before he could pull the trigger again. We both went over the railing, landing hard on the ground below. I’d hoped to use the guy to break my fall, but we hit the hard, dry dirt at the same time. The air left my lungs for several long seconds, enough time for the man to scramble away, his weapon still in hand. He began running down the steep hill behind Jenna’s house. At the bottom were a bunch of smaller houses. If I lost sight of the guy, he could easily shoot anyone who got in the way of his escape.

I managed to make it down the hill at a good clip without losing sight of the guy until he reached the base of the slope. There were two houses, each separated by their own six-foot-high wooden fencing. Between the two fences was a small gap. The guy was slim enough to quickly scramble through the gap while I lost several precious seconds since I had to angle my bigger body and still hold my weapon to cover myself if there were any vulnerable spots along the way. The far end of the gap was the biggest danger since I’d have no way of knowing if the guy was waiting there to ambush me or if he’d continued to make a run for it.

Fortunately, the man wasn’t waiting for me, but having to clear the immediate area gave him an even wider lead on me. I managed to catch a glimpse of him as he bolted across the street. I knew the layout of the neighborhood around Jenna’s house because every agent working the case had to study different maps and memorize the layout of the neighborhood before starting the job. The reconnaissance paid off because I knew exactly where the guy was going to end up.

I approached the small alley between two houses. It was where the owners kept their garbage cans and there was no way out of it except one—back through the alley’s entrance.

Which I now had control over. I was standing between the guy and his only means of escape. He was trapped like a wild animal, desperate and determined to flee.

Since the alley had several garbage cans that the guy could use for cover, I had no choice but to move to one side of the alley and use the wall for my own cover. “Put down your weapon and kick it away. Come on, buddy, let me see those hands,” I urged.

I didn’t expect the guy to actually do it and would have been happy to hold him there until the police got to the scene, but the untimely arrival of a teenager with a garbage bag in his hand changed everything. With his eyes glued to his cell phone and earbuds playing music so loud even I could hear it, he was completely oblivious to what was happening. Unfortunately, he was on the opposite side of the alley’s entrance, so I had no way to grab him and pull him out of the line of fire.

Everything after that happened in slow motion. I yelled at the kid to drop to the ground. Despite the loud music, he somehow heard me and followed the order, but not before the gunman stood. He aimed his gun at the boy, forcing me to step in the alley so I could take my shot. I yelled loud enough to divert the man’s attention so that he’d aim the gun at me, which he did.

Unfortunately, my brain chose that moment to do what it had been doing to me for months.

It failed me.

A grainy image appeared in my head followed by a current of electricity that made it feel like someone was trying to hot-wire my brain. Cold, wet asphalt met my body as it crumpled to the ground. Darkness surrounded me as ice began to spread from my gut out to my limbs. I could see the stars glittering in the night sky and all I could think was I had to be dreaming because the sky was never clear in LA. I heard someone yelling my name but then it was silent. I tried to fight the darkness that was there to steal me away from the night sky, the stars, and the familiar voice that had called out to me, but it was no use.

I had to go wherever the darkness was taking me, so I closed my eyes and hoped that when I woke back up, all those things would still be there. The night sky, the stars, and most importantly, that voice.