Pregnant

Chapter 43

Part of me softenedseeing that vulnerability.The rest hardened into stone.

“Terra, please–” he began.

I held up one hand, barely containing fury roiling beneath my calm exterior. “Don’t. You lost the right to make claims over me long ago.”

Nathan’s broad shoulders slumped. Twilight deepened the circles under his eyes nearly to bruises. For an instant remorse pierced me. Then visions of shattering betrayal swallowed tender feelings once more.

“I understand this revelation must be…disorienting,” Nathan said carefully. “Just know I never fully comprehended our bond’s depth until we were apart.” He dared one step closer. “Don’t enduring your burdens alone anymore because of my stupidity.”

I backed up swiftly. “You tore us apart by choosing politics over love, then abandoned me pregnant and struggling! Now you waltz back in declaring mystical fate bonds?” My laugh held knives. “Thanks but hard pass.”

I whirled to storm off before emotions spilled over. Nathan’s next words froze me in my

tracks.

“The boys are mine, aren’t they?” His wrecked tone reflected dawning devastation. “Our sons don’t even know their own father…”

I shut my eyes against stinging tears. There was the deepest betrayal, barely scabbed over even now. Three young lives forever missing paternal guidance thanks to Nathan’s ambitions. Anger drained leaving only bone–deep sadness behind.

“Please don’t rob them of that bond too,” Nathan whispered.

I turned slowly, taking in his anguished expression. “The past can’t be undone. They know only me as their devoted parent. I won’t have them hurt more in the name of your conscience.”

Nathan looked gutted. I hardened my tone against sympathy. “Now if there’s nothing else, I really must get home.”

I strode off without waiting for reply, emotions churning violently. How dare Nathan reenter my life with fantastical talk of mystical bonds after rejecting me so coldly years ago? I banished our last intimacy from my mind ruthlessly. Ancient history.

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Yet doubts needled despite my fury. Nathan had seemed genuinely devastated realizing the boys‘ paternity. And much as I hated admitting it, my feelings for him never completely faded.

By the next morning no easy answers had presented themselves. Restless energy hummed under my skin as I prepared for work.

Only one clear path lay before me—burying myself in patients until the chaos quieted.

I plaited my hair loosely to keep wayward curls from my eyes, frowning at the dark shadows marring my features. Hiding emotional turmoil would prove impossible clearly written across my face.

Hopefully work’s steady rhythms would smooth worry lines away.

Collins greeted me in the chaotic clinic waiting room with his usual megawatt smile. “Morning boss! Ready to kick Monday’s butt?”

I attempted an answering grin that likely appeared more pained grimace. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Mondays wait for no one right?”

Collins‘ smile slipped assessing me closer. “Whoa, you look super stressed. Everything okay?” His green eyes softened with concern. “Kiddos run you ragged this weekend again?”

I forced a nonchalant laugh. “You know those wild boys. Never stop moving!” Before Collins could question me further I snatched a waiting file. “Well, duty calls! See you at lunch?”

I escaped his probing gaze with relief, ignoring his suspicious glance. My chaotic emotions remained too raw to share, even with a trusted friend. This inner storm required weathering alone.

Work’s familiar rhythms soothed away outside anxieties over the next hours. In exam rooms problems presented clear solutions, unlike the churning mess awaiting me beyond these walls.

During a rare lull I sank onto a supply closet floor amidst neatly organized shelves of gauzes and bandages. Just a stolen moment of stillness to gather strength for the next crisis..

Nathan’s tormented eyes haunted me behind shut lids. However terribly things ended between us, he had seemed sincere realizing the boys‘ true paternity. And I couldn’t deny still feeling that inexplicable, involuntary pull between us. Much as I despised the admission. Maybe Collins could provide an impartial sounding board to test theories upon. But even imagining his reaction to such surreal revelations made me cringe inwardly. He thought me an abandoned single mom, not a wayward mate denying her supernatural soul bond. This

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situation defied all logic and reason.

The shrill ring of my pager had me on my feet swiftly. No more wallowing in chaotic emotions. Duty called, clear and grounding. My tangled personal affairs must wait.

I moved through the remainder of that endless day in a fog, cataloguing symptoms and suggested remedies without fully engaging. My thoughts ran an endless loop rehashing Nathan’s imploring words.

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That constant mental refrain followed me out of the clinic doors that evening, dogging my steps towards home and a hot bath’s refuge.

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But when I glimpsed a familiar broad–shouldered silhouette waiting at my building’s entrance, weariness descended bone–deep. This confrontation must happen sooner or later, I supposed. Might as well be now.

Nathan straightened from where he slouched against cold brick as I approached reluctantly.

Behind his forced casual stance, nerves and banked hope warred across handsome features. My traitorous heart gave an extra thump seeing him again, though fury quickly drowned tender feelings.

I crossed my arms defensively. “Let me guess. You suddenly recalled some other mystical bonds we share that give you rights over me again?”

Nathan flinched. “No, nothing like that. Just hoping we could…talk things through rationally.” He ran one hand through already disheveled sable hair. “I’ll leave the supernatural factors aside for now and just speak from the heart if you’ll allow it.”

My skeptical reply lodged painfully in my throat seeing naked vulnerability swirling in those forest green depths now. Nathan slowly sank to perch on the bottom concrete step gazing up entreatingly, all Alpha authority stripped away.

“You know me, Terra. At my core, beneath the politics and ambition. You saw the man I strove to become, for you.” His voice dropped huskily. “I would show him to you again, if you permit it.”

Unbidden, visions of our laughing, carefree early days played across my mind. Back when the world brimmed bright with promise…before everything fell spectacularly apart.

Abruptly the full weight of dreams destroyed crashed down, buckling my knees. I barely registered Nathan springing up, hands bracing my elbows gently as grief threatened to swallow me whole.

“It’s alright, just breathe,” Nathan soothed. “I’ve got you.”

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Primitive instinct urged me to collapse against Nathan’s steadying strength. Stubborn pride had me pulling swiftly away instead, dashing angry tears aside.

“I don’t need your belated chivalry,” I spat shakily. “This rosy revisionist history won’t sway me either. Too much damage was done.”

I spun on one heel stalking off before my traitorous heart overruled logic. Nathan’s soft words trailed after me on the biting wind.

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“I won’t surrender the past’s sweet moments so easily, Nathan. You’ll have to wrest them from me.”

I slammed my apartment door like barricading against emotional storms without. But silent rooms within revealed no safe harbour from clashing memories assaulting relentlessly.

Upping my neatly ordered existence was the cruellest revenge, I decided to sink onto the sofa head in hands. Casting supposedly mystical bonds now between us only complicates matters

more.

And yet…those powerful inexplicable energies continued subtly drawing us closer despite bitter resistance on both sides.

What came next remained terrifyingly unclear. But seismic shifts had been set in motion now beyond halting.

Wherever this chaotic journey led, I suspected blissful ignorance was forfeit forevermore.