Perfect Chemistry

I’m not ashamed of my sister’s disability. But I don’t want Alex to judge her. Because if he laughs, I couldn’t take it. I whip around. “You’re not good at following directions, are you?”

He grins as if saying, I’m a gang member, what did you expect?

“I have to check on my sister. Do you mind?”

“Nope. It’ll give me a chance to meet her. Trust me.”

I should kick him out, tattoos and all. I should, but I don’t.

Without another word, I lead him into our dark, mahogany-paneled library. Shelley is sitting in her wheelchair, her head awkwardly slumped to the side as she watches television.

When she realizes she has company, her gaze shifts from the television to me to Alex.

“This is Alex,” I explain, shutting off the TV. “A friend from school.”

Shelley gives Alex a crooked smile and hits her specialized keyboard with her knuckles. “Hello,” says a feminine, computerized voice. She hits another button. “My name is Shelley,” the computer continues.

Alex kneels down to Shelley’s level. The simple act of respect tears at something suspiciously like my heart. Colin always ignores my sister, treating her as if she’s blind and deaf as well as physically and mentally disabled.

“What’s up?” Alex says, taking Shelley’s stiff hand in his and shaking it. “Cool computer.”

“It’s a personal communication device or PCD,” I explain. “It helps her communicate.”

“Game,” the computer voice says.

Alex moves beside Shelley. I hold my breath as I watch her hands, making sure they’re nowhere near his thick head of hair.

“You have games on there?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I answer for her. “She’s become a checkers fanatic. Shelley, show him how it works.”

While Shelley slowly taps the screen with her knuckles, Alex watches, seemingly fascinated.

When the checkers screen comes up, Shelley nudges Alex’s hand.

“You go first,” he says.

She shakes her head.

“She wants you to go first,” I tell him.

“Cool.” He taps the screen.

I watch, getting all mushy inside, as this tough guy plays quietly with my big sister.

“Do you mind if I make a snack for her?” I say, desperate to leave the room.

“Nah, go ahead,” he says, his concentration on the game.

“You don’t have to let her win,” I say before leaving. “She can hold her own in checkers.”

“Uh, thanks for the vote of confidence, but I am tryin’ to win,” Alex says. He has a genuine grin on his face, without trying to act cocky or cool. It makes me even more desperate to escape.

When I walk into the library with Shelley’s food a few minutes later, he says, “She beat me.”

“I told you she was good. But enough games for now,” I say to Shelley, then turn to Alex. “I hope you don’t mind me helping to feed her.”

“Go for it.”

He sits in my dad’s favorite leather chair as I place a tray in front of Shelley and feed her applesauce. It’s a messy affair, as usual. Tilting my head, I catch Alex watching as I wipe the side of my sister’s mouth with a towel.

“Shelley,” I say. “You should’ve let him win. You know, to be polite.” Shelley’s response is a shake of her head. Applesauce drips on her chin. “That’s the way it’s going to be, huh?” I say, hoping the scene doesn’t gross Alex out. Maybe I’m testing him, to see if he can handle a glimpse of my home life. If so, he’s passing. “Wait until Alex leaves. I’ll show you who the checkers champion is.”

My sister smiles that sweet, crooked smile of hers. It’s like a thousand words put into one expression. For a moment I forget Alex is still watching me. It’s so weird having him inside my life and my house. He doesn’t belong, yet he doesn’t seem to mind being here.

“Why were you in a crappy mood in chem class?” he asks.

Because my sister is going to be sent away and yesterday I got caught with my boobs exposed while Colin had his pants down right in front of me. “I’m sure you heard the gruesome rumors.”

“Nope, haven’t heard a thing. Maybe you’re just paranoid.”

Maybe. Shane saw us, but he has a big mouth. Every time someone looked my way today, I imagined they knew. I look at Alex. “Sometimes I wish there were Do Over Days.”

“Sometimes I wish there were Do Over Years,” he responds seriously. “Or Fast Forward Days.”

“Unfortunately, real life doesn’t have a remote control.” When Shelley is done eating, I sit her in front of the TV, then lead Alex to the kitchen. “My life doesn’t seem so perfect after all, does it?” I ask while I take drinks out of the fridge for both of us.

Alex looks at me curiously.

“What?”

He shrugs. “I guess we all have stuff to deal with. I’ve got more demons than a horror movie.”

Demons? Nothing bothers Alex. He never complains about his life. “What are your demons?” I ask.

“Oye, if I told you about my demons, you’d run like hell away from me.”

“I think you’d be surprised what I’d run from, Alex.” Chimes from our grandfather clock echo through the house. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

“I gotta go,” Alex says. “How about studying tomorrow, after school. At my house.”

“Your house?” On the south side?

“I’ll show you a glimpse into my life. You game?” he asks.

I swallow. “Sure.” Game on.

As I lead him to the door, I hear a car drive up to my house. If it’s my mom, I’m in big trouble. No matter if we had the most innocent meeting, she’ll go ballistic.

I peek through the windows by the front door and recognize Darlene’s red sports car. “Oh, no. My friends are here.”

“Don’t panic,” he tells me. “Open the door. It’s not like you can pretend I’m not here. My motorcycle is parked in your driveway.”

He’s right. I can’t hide the fact that he’s here.

I open the door and walk outside. Alex is right behind me as I face Darlene, Morgan, and Sierra walking up the sidewalk. “Hey, guys!” I say. Maybe if I act all innocent they won’t make a big deal about Alex being here. I touch Alex’s elbow. “We were just discussing our chemistry project. Right, Alex?”

“Right.”

Sierra’s eyebrows are raised. I think Morgan is about to pull out her cell, no doubt to inform the other M’s she saw Alex Fuentes walking out of my house.

“Should we go so you guys can be alone?” Darlene asks.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I say too quickly.

Alex steps toward his motorcycle, his shirt outlining his perfect, muscular back and his jeans outlining his perfect, muscular—

He points at me after putting on his helmet. “See ya tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. His house.

I nod.

After Alex is out of sight, Sierra says, “What was that all about?”

“Chemistry,” I mumble.

Morgan’s mouth is open in shock.

“Were you guys doing it?” Darlene asks. “ ’Cause we’ve been friends for ten years and I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been invited inside your house.”

“He’s my chemistry partner.”

“He’s a gang member, Brit. Don’t ever forget that,” Darlene says.

Sierra shakes her head and says, “Are you crushing on someone other than your boyfriend? Colin told Doug you’ve been acting strange lately. As your friends, we’re here to talk some sense into you.”

I sit on the front stoop and listen to them rant about reputations and boyfriends and loyalty for a half hour. They make sense.

“Promise us there’s nothing going on between you and Alex,” Sierra says to me alone while Morgan and Darlene are waiting in the car for her.

“There’s nothing going on between me and Alex,” I assure her. “I swear.”