Penned Sea Hearts

Ramos looked down at the wrapped box in his hands, wrinkling his nose at the somewhat messy ribbon on top. He’d never been good at this, but he hoped Ara would like his gift.

He’d not been sure what to get yesterday, though he had wanted to get her something nice for her profession, and when he’d noticed a hammer with a rainbow handle, it seemed like the perfect choice considering her workshop decor.

He was sure she had plenty of hammers already, but maybe she could display this one. He’d never been good at gift-giving either, but he certainly hoped Ara wouldn’t mind. He’d missed her birthday last year, and he didn’t want a repeat of it.

He wasn’t sure how much he meant to her, but she was the only person who was willing to listen to his problems. Or at the very least didn’t tell him to go away.

So she should be appreciated.

He hovered in front of her door for a second, wondering if this was a good time to barge in even though it was almost evening now, the water around him so dark he could only make out the buildings in the distance by looking at the crystals on their roofs.

“Oh, there you are!” came a cry from above him, making him flinch and look up, only to see Kai floating down to him, holding a much worse wrapped box than Ramos’ own.

“Kai? What are you doing here?”

“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine,” he said easily, grinning. “Thought we could have a little celebration. I brought cider!”

Ramos blinked at the sudden influx of information, watching dumbly as Kai brought out three bottles of yellow cider from his satchel. They almost looked too large to have been able to fit in there. But it was entirely possible Kai had an enchanted satchel that was bigger on the inside. A famous author would surely have enough money to afford it.

“And you brought a gift,” Ramos said, frowning at the box in Kai’s right hand.

“Well, it would be rude not to, right?”

Before Ramos could react, Kai knocked on the door, a big smile on his face, completely ruining Ramos’ process of carefully thinking everything through.

And of course Ara was swinging the door open before he had the time to prepare himself.

“Hey, guys! What’s up?” Ara said, as cheerful as ever, not wearing her protective apron or gloves. She must have already closed up shop.

“Uh, your birthday?” Kai said, snorting and wiggling an eyebrow, which made Ara turn to Ramos, a soft grin on her face.

“Oh, you remembered!”

Ramos scratched the back of his neck, not sure what to make of that reaction, looking down at his present. “Of course I did.”

“Well, come on in!” Ara cheered, swinging the door open wider for them. Kai swam in immediately, Ramos following after him a bit slower.

He didn’t go to Ara’s workshop that often, certainly not without the intention of buying something, so he was always a bit unsure how to act in here.

Last time he’d not given it much thought because he’d been so distraught, but now he felt a bit awkward. Like he was overstepping Ara’s boundaries even though she was happily inviting them.

Maybe it was a good thing that Kai was here with them. The merman talked a lot, so at least there wouldn’t be awkward silence.

They all settled at Ara’s table, with Kai loudly putting the cider bottles and his gift on it, Ramos following, much more gently, even though it was a hammer, and the chances of that breaking were nonexistent.

“Can’t believe I’m getting a gift from Phish Seaman himself,” Ara teased, but she was clearly touched, blushing slightly, grinning ear to ear, her ears perked up as far as they could go.

“And really, Rami, you didn’t have to. I know things aren’t great right now, so—”

Ramos shook his head. “No, I didn’t want to miss another year.” He sighed, nodding to himself. This had been a good decision, even if he was now indebted to Kai even more than before. “It’s the least I can do considering you helped me hopefully save the library.”

Ara’s smile turned a bit sad as she shook her head at him in turn. “Nah, I didn’t do anything. You would have thought of that too, you were just too upset to think clearly. It’s okay.” Then her expression brightened up again. “Besides, that’s what friends are for, right?”

Ramos stared at her, not sure what to say for a moment before nodding silently, worried that if he dared open his mouth, some unintelligent, embarrassing noise would come out.

Kai meanwhile patted Ramos’ back, making him flinch a little. “See, you don’t have to disclaim everything you say about you guys’ friendship.”

Ramos ducked his head, now properly embarrassed, throwing a weak glare at Kai for saying it outright, while Ara watched him with a pout that was unbearable to witness directly.

“Do you really do that, Ramos?”

Ramos sighed, dragging his eyes up to meet hers. “I…do not like to presume.”

Ara blinked, tilting her head. “Wait….” She narrowed her eyes, looking through Ramos, as if trying to calculate some kind of complex equation. Then her gaze turned pitying, though, making Ramos swallow. “Oh, Rami, did you really not think we’re friends?”

Ramos shrugged, looking down again. “I…wasn’t…certain?” He cleared his throat, trying to school his voice into neutrality. “Certain if that is what you wanted, I mean.”

“Oh, Rami.”

Ramos grunted when he was suddenly pulled into a hug, dragged above the table and squeezed, Ara chuckling as she loosened her grip a little bit, letting Ramos breathe again. He hesitantly hugged back, quite liking it once he managed to get over his shock.

“Obviously, that’s what I wanted. Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with you?”

Ramos shrugged again, not wanting to speculate, his heart fluttering a bit at all of this. Ara liked him enough to call him her friend. That was quite nice.

So much so that when she let go, he felt a pang of disappointment. Maybe they could do this again later.

He sighed as he floated down into his chair again, but it was a relieved sigh rather than a sad one. His heart fluttered at all of this.

Before Kai, he’d had no friends, and now he had two? It seemed unreal, even if he reminded himself that Kai was going to leave soon. The signing was going to happen tomorrow, and he’d done his best to prepare everything for it today. If everything went according to plan, they would be done by tomorrow evening.

But that was also a bit melancholic. Ramos would miss Kai, that much was certain.

“See?” Kai said, nodding smugly at Ramos, which immediately made him huff. He would miss Kai, despite him acting like this.

“Yes. I do.”

Kai sniggered at Ramos’ annoyed tone, while Ara grinned at both of them. Then she turned to her presents, practically vibrating, her tail twitching.

“Can I?”

Ramos considered annoying her by correcting her, but he didn’t feel secure enough in their new friendship to do that so he just nodded, smiling, hoping that she would like it.

Now stopped by nothing, Ara immediately grabbed the present, tearing the wrapping off and pulling out the box the hammer was packaged in with such fervor, it made Ramos raise an eyebrow while Kai chuckled to himself.

Ara gasped when she pulled out the hammer, her eyes glinting with joy, twirling the hammer in her hand before raising it above her head, posing dramatically.

“Rami!” She put it back down, studying it from all angles. “That’s so cute!”

Ramos smiled at her, his insides fluttering, pleased that she liked his gift. He just hoped that whatever Kai had gotten for her wouldn’t completely overshadow it.

“This is perfect! Thank you!” She reached over the table to give Ramos a quick but tight hug, letting go too quickly for him to manage to return it, her eyes full of awe over her new hammer.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Ara beamed, though her smile ebbed a bit as she looked at Ramos again. “It didn’t cost too much, right?”

“Don’t worry about that,” said Kai, winking at Ramos, who barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes, huffing out a bit of a laugh instead. Though the reminder that he owed Kai for the hammer did make his insides twist a bit.

He felt far too indebted.

“Open mine!” Kai said excitedly, pushing the box closer to Ara, grinning ear to ear. Ramos watched it intently, truly wondering what this could be. It was a smaller box than he’d had, but it was also a nearly perfect cube.

Ara begrudgingly put the hammer down on the table, still running her eyes over at it as she took Kai’s gift, finally turning her full attention to it.

Ramos watched her undo the wrapping and open the box, only to pull out a mug.

Oh. That was much more normal than Ramos had been expecting. Relaxing, he smiled again, looking closer, noting that aside from the essential one-way straw sticking out of its dome-like upper half, the mug had something written on it.

“Sea’s best blacksmith?” Ara read, staring at Kai with her eyebrows raised, looking impressed. And Ramos supposed so was he. How had Kai managed to get a mug this specific? Especially so quickly?

“Saw it and thought of you,” Kai winked, making Ramos frown. Maybe Kai liked Ara like that? Then again, Kai winked a lot, so that probably meant nothing.

Ara sniggered, grinning at Kai before doing the same at the mug. “It’s great. Thank you so much! You didn’t have to give me anything, though.”

Kai waved his hand. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s your birthday.”

Ara chuckled, smiling at both of them. “Thanks. This is really nice. I’ll make sure to find both a nice home. Especially the hammer.”

Ramos smiled back at her. This had gone much better than he’d been expecting.

Soon after, they opened the cider bottles, and given that Ramos didn’t drink much, it very quickly went to his head. He wasn’t drunk exactly, but he was much more relaxed than he would be otherwise, and didn’t overthink what he said too much.

So much so, in fact, that it didn’t at first even occur to him what Ara was saying when she made an offhand comment to Kai.

“So, when are you gonna ask him out, Kai?”

Ramos huffed a little laugh, his brain catching up only a second or two later when he realized both Ara and Kai were now looking at him.

And only then did it hit him, seeing Kai’s flustered face. Oh. They were talking about him?

“W-what?”

Ramos blinked, trying to get rid of some of the tipsy daze, swallowing thickly.

“Uh, it’s fine if you don’t like me like that, Rami,” Kai said immediately, his head bowed in embarrassment as he scratched the back of his neck.

And Ramos wasn’t sure what to say again, his assumptions confirmed. Kai…liked him?

And…he liked Kai. He knew that, deep down. But even then, his immediate reaction was panic and a fight or flight response.

With the kind of books Kai wrote, there was no doubt someone like Ramos wouldn’t be enough for him. Kai wouldn’t even know that Ramos had no interest in sex, and Ramos didn’t feel like explaining himself. Not again.

It just hurt too much to do it only to be told that he was lying. Or to be pitied. He hated that reaction the most, though it would pale in comparison to the worst possibility—Kai saying he didn’t mind, only to change his mind later. Like Ramos’ first and only ex-boyfriend.

“Rami?”

Kai’s concerned voice brought Ramos back to reality, and he swallowed again, his ears held flat against his head, his shoulders tense.

“I don’t.”

Kai blinked at him, frowning. “Huh?”

“I don’t like you like that.”

For a split second, Kai’s face fell, but he quickly smiled to hide it. But that did nothing to stop the crestfallen expression from searing itself into Ramos’ brain.

And Ara was now looking quite upset, her mouth drawn into a guilty frown. Ramos bit the inside of his lip. This was all his fault. But he couldn’t.

“Yeah, so.” Kai gave Ara a pointed look. “Nothing to worry about there, Ara.”

Ara chuckled weakly. “Right. I was just, uh, being joke-y. Sorry.”

The atmosphere was so tense it was almost hard to breathe. Kai and Ara managed to change the topic somehow, despite the horrible awkwardness, but it was still there, hanging above them.

Ramos did his best to play along, but it was difficult with his eyes stinging. There was a deep ache in his heart now that was all too familiar. His loneliness, his heartbreak….

But that was all his life had been like, and all it would be. It was about time he’d gotten used to it.