novelxo Passenger Princess: Chapter 27
Tension fills the car as we drive back to the hotel after filing a report and picking Peach up from the pet sitter. All I can think about is how I should have been there the entire time, regardless of what anyone insisted on, how I should never have agreed to be in the other room, and what would have happened if I had been just another minute longer.
‘Okay, so next meet and greet, you’re in every picture,’ Ava says with a small, self-deprecating laugh. ‘Attached at the hip for a while, okay?’
I look at her quickly, seeing her holding the cat tightly to her chest like a security blanket.
‘If it were up to me, you wouldn’t have another meet and greet.’ Unfortunately, it’s not up to me.
‘What? Stop, Jaime, you’re insane.’ I can hear the eye roll in her voice.
‘You were almost hit today, Ava. Someone assaulted you. We’re lucky it wasn’t worse. Why are you acting like this isn’t a big deal?’
‘Because it’s not, Jaime.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ I murmur.
‘I just…this kind of shit, it’s going to happen. I signed up for it knowing what I was doing, putting myself on this stupid pedestal, and then I got on social media doing the same. I got into this…job, knowing I would basically be a doll for people to look at and pick apart. I’m okay with it. Sometimes, people think that means I’d be okay with more, which sucks, but that’s why I have you, right?’ Her smile is uneasy, but not because of the man. It’s because of me and what my face must look like. I want to change it, to shift my expression, but I just…can’t.
‘That’s fucked, Ava.’
She shrugs. ‘That’s life, Jaime,’ she says in a counterargument.
‘Not for you,’ I say, shaking my head and pulling into the hotel parking lot.
‘What?’
Everything I was thinking about in the two hours I was away from her came crashing into me: the possession, the need, the want. Followed by everything I felt as I watched that man lunge for her, watched her hit him, and watched her sit silently and in shock as she filed a report with the police.
It’s all clashing in my chest, and I need air.
I need air, and I’m realizing I need Ava as if she were air, and we need to get out of here before I do something stupid.
After putting the SUV in park, I turn it off and step out, slamming the door as I walk around the front. I take a deep breath to steady myself. When I reach her door, I open it, reach over to unbuckle her, then grab the cat and place her in the carrier.
Ava steps out of the car, and I hold Peach’s carrier in one hand while I place my hand on her lower back, moving us both toward the hotel entrance without a word.
‘Jaime,’ she says, but I keep walking through the quiet hotel lobby until we’re at the bank of elevators, pressing the up button and stepping in when the doors slide open.
‘What is going on?’ she asks as the doors close us in, her scent filling the small area and making it impossible for me to breathe again. ‘You’re freaking me out.’
I hit the button for the top floor and wait for the doors to shut, turning to her. ‘The fact that you’re not freaked by what happened is freaking me out even more, Ava.’
She rolls her eyes before she steps back and crosses her arms over her chest, pushing her tits up a bit. ‘It’s just some weirdo, it’s fine.’
I shake my head and take a step closer to her. ‘No, it’s not.’ My voice is low, even to my ears.
‘It’s just part of this gig. It happens to all the girls. We have things in place—like you, Jaime—to make it less dangerous.’ She takes a step back, her back hitting the metal of the elevator.
‘This shit should not happen to you or anyone, Ava.’
She rolls her eyes, her signature move toward me at this point. ‘It’s fine. All’s well, that ends well.’
I look at her, shake my head, and let that irritation and fury win. Not irritation at her, but at the world, at this pageant, for making her feel like she has to just accept this, that she would think this is normal—a man getting into her personal space and expecting…anything from her.
But mostly, there’s fury at myself.
This is exactly why I’ve shut down any thought of Ava, regardless of the fact that I’ve felt a pull to her since that first night in the club: it leads to distractions. This morning I was weak, and I let her kiss me, then I kissed her and held her and touched her and it twisted every single thought and action thereafter. It made it so when she asked me to go with Anne, I wanted to do whatever would make her happy, rather than whatever I needed to do to make sure she was protected.
“This morning should have never happened.” It feels wrong to say it, considering every moment of having her in my arms, my lips on hers felt more right than anything I’d ever experienced. I don’t turn to her when her head snaps to look at me, but I feel the burn of her glare all the same.
“What are you talking about?”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you this morning,” I say, then the elevator doors open and I step out, waiting for her to follow.
She steps out of the elevator and crosses her arms on her chest, glaring at me. “I kissed you,” she says, and I sigh deeply.
“Ava, you know what I mean. We shouldn’t have kissed this morning.”
“Why not? We’re two consenting adults, Jaime.”
“Because I’m here to keep you safe, Ava, and today you weren’t. In this job, you can’t have distractions, and you are the biggest distraction known to man. My being distracted led to this afternoon, and I won’t let that happen again.”
She stares at me for long moments, assessing, before she shakes her head. “I never thought you’d be the type to get scared off too easily,” she whispers.
“I was terrified,” I reply quickly, my voice just as low.
“What?”
“I was terrified, Ava. I’ve never been as scared in my entire life than when I saw that man reach for you, and I’ve seen some fucked-up shit. I was terrified, and it’s all my fault. If I were there the entire time, it wouldn’t have happened. If I wasn’t so twisted up in the idea of you, I would have used my head and known I needed to be there for you. But I wasn’t, and it was because I was too worried about keeping you happy than I was keeping you safe, and look how that ended.” Her eyes go a bit soft, her shoulder relaxing as she reaches out to touch me, but I step back out of reach.
“Jaime,” she says.
“I’m serious. It was a bad idea. I never want to feel again how I felt in that room, and I especially never want to see the look of panic in your eyes. You want to hate me because I won’t give into whatever there is between us? Then hate me. But at least you’ll be safe,” I say, staring at her, letting her see everything behind my walls.
Everything I feel.
Everything I can’t feel.
“So you’re saying there’s something,” she whispers, and I sigh for what feels like the hundredth time.
But before I can say anything to further dissuade her, the elevator dings once more, sliding open, someone standing there and stepping off, breaking the moment. With that, I step forward, grab Ava’s hand in mine, and lead her to our room.
The entire time, all I can think is you are so fucked.