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El stared at the night sky; the darkness made the little drops of water falling from the sky hard to see. Occasionally, people would call to him, but he wouldn’t answer. Finally, they stopped and went to bed. The sky had grown darker and the rain became more intense for a brief period before calming again. El took a deep breath as he sat on the roof of the highest stone tower atop of the Queens’ castle.

El saw a blur and sighed as Matrix climbed up the tower’s ladder and sat down next to him. “You know you’ll get sick if you stay out here too long,” the Stak said, trying to bring up the mood.

“I don’t get sick,” El replied. Raindrops poured down on the two men and El leaned back on his hands, welcoming the rain. “What would you do if you could control the weather?” El asked Matrix.

Matrix shrugged. “I’d probably make it cold, something about walking outside in winter air is comforting.” El paused for a brief moment without saying a word, and Matrix suspected something was wrong. But soon enough, he did respond.

“I’d make it rain forever. During the day, the clouds would be dark but the sun would make it light, and at night, the pit patter of rain would bring a new life to a once quiet space,” El answered, his voice strangely even. Matrix was slightly freaked out by the intensity of the answer, but said nothing.

The Stak took a deep breath, preparing himself. “I drowned in a river.” El looked over at Matrix, giving him his full attention as he went on.

“I was still living with my parents at that point, just because they couldn’t get out of bed without my help. My mom was at a bar that night. She called me to pick her up and I didn’t want to wake my dad so I took his car and went out to get her. When I got her…she said she wanted to drive. So I let her. Stupidest thing I’ve ever done.” Matrix laughed at the memory of it. “But I loved her…so it didn’t matter. We came to the edge of the bridge and there was no railing separating us from the water. My mom…wasn’t thinking apparently.” Matrix shrugged. “Obviously…I didn’t make it out. Sorry my backstory isn’t as elaborate as yours, and I also didn’t kill one of my parents because of it,” Matrix said, wanting to laugh it off. There was no laughter that followed.

“If it counts for anything…you deserved to belong to someone else,” El said.

“Yeah.” Matrix started laughing ironically instead of wholeheartedly.

There was a brief silence before Matrix began to speak again.

“So, do you know what they’re called?”

El looked over, asking the obvious question. “Who?”

“Hansel and Gretel, their type; do you know what they’re called?”

Yes,” El’s expression didn’t change. “But I’ll let you tell me anyway, seeing as there’s a point somewhere.”

“Ressurectors,” Matrix said, going straight in despite the snarky remark. “Bonds.” And suddenly, he was lost in his words. “The connection between the two…is strong, to say the least. But it’s also meant to be, ya know? It’s not romantic, but still intimate. They’d risk their lives for each other without even blinking an eye. It’s like they know everything without really knowing anything at all. Nothing could break the Cider without breaking the Stak as well and vice versa. The fact that you can feel it without even meeting the person is just…beyond me.” Matrix blinked a few times as if he had gone somewhere else. “But still, when you meet them for the first time…it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.” Matrix smiled, looking up at El. “Not saying that you and I are or anything.”

El looked straight at him and shook his head. “No…but I do know that you have one.” El’s gaze fell when Matrix’s intensified, wondering where he was going with it. “El look—”

“I’d rather not,” the hybrid replied. “And I’d prefer you call me Elias from now on.”

Matrix sighed. “I hope this isn’t about Halsey—”

“Actually it is.” El’s voice got louder, more assertive. “I don’t really care where you came from in Plato, but it bothers me that you somehow know more about Halsey than I ever got to. And maybe you’re a nice guy, maybe so, but I don’t think Halsey should be taking a chance on you.” There was a brief silence, as El expected, before Matrix answered. He just didn’t expect for him to say what he said.

“No.”

El’s eyes widened in annoyance, holding his hand out as he waited for him elaborate. “No…what? No you’re not gonna stay away from him? No you’re not that person? No what.”

Matrix’s hand, not visible to El, was gripping a knife tucked in his army pants. He felt his grip loosen on the weapon, even though it should have been tightening.

End it, end it, end, end it, end it, end it, he said over and over in his head, somewhere deep within him truly wanting to. But…he didn’t. He couldn’t.

Because he didn’t want to.

Matrix turned his head toward El and El had to admit he was surprised at the calmness in the Stak’s voice. “No…Halsey shouldn’t take a chance on me…and neither should you.” El blinked. He was surprised how much Matrix had changed in those few seconds, how much emotion had been pulled from the depths of his person. So much, El almost envied it. “I am…exactly what you think I am. You’re a beast, I’m a monster. You’re an anomaly, I’m a freak. You’re terrible, I’m awful. You. Have. Everything.” Matrix breathed in. “I…am nothing…to anyone.”

El blinked again, unsure what other action would fit this scenario. His eyebrows furrowed and the change in expression made Matrix excited for his response. “Oh. Well then.” was all he said…

All he said…

Before he pushed him.

Matrix got one breath out before his body slipped off the edge of the tower and all he saw was the ground below. He was falling even before he knew it, only realizing the wind carving his face when he saw himself pass by the Queens’ bedroom window. He felt his foot knock against the rocky structure before he hit the ground, rolling a few feet before stopping. Luckily, his telekinesis kicked in before he hit, possibly saving his life.

Matrix heard wings flapping behind him as he coughed up blood, turning to vomit on the ground. “Oh, you’re still alive,” El said, standing behind him. “You’re much more resilient than I thought.”

“What—” The blood filling Matrix’s lungs stunted his ability to speak. “Elias,” Matrix barely got out, dragging himself away as El inched forward. “What—”

“What?” El said back, unsheathing his sword for the 2nd time that day. “I thought you wanted to die.” As El’s sword came down, a wave of force hit El from the side and he collapsed, feeling his ribs bruise through his exposed flesh.

“Ah!” he yelped, watching as a wall of flames emerged and separated him from Matrix.

Matrix leaned up, which was an effort, and saw who was attacking El. “Yes, Ah,” he wheezed. “And Hershey.”

“Stop it!” Willow yelled, gun in hand as she and Faith approached the scene, guards by their side.

Ah turned around, looking just like herself but somehow scarier. El took the opportunity to shove Ah off and draw his sword, pointing it at her neck.

Hershey, standing in front of the miniature wall of flames and Matrix, held his hand up as it sizzled and sparked with the light from the streetlamps scattered around the grounds. He aimed it at El. For that moment, Matrix and El weren’t at a standstill anymore. No, Hershey and El were. Hershey thought back to when El saved his life the first time and then again for the 2nd time…and then he thought about the time he tried to end it. El’s eyes pierced through Hershey’s the way they did everyone’s, but he was surprised to see a second wall hiding there…he was always surprised when it came to this stubborn Nat.

“El put the sword down!” Faith exclaimed.

“Why!” El yelled back, breaking eye contact with Hershey. “She attacked me first!”

Right when he said it, the Sync in her knocked the sword out of his hand and got El by the throat. Willow and Faith’s eyes widened, never before seeing another that could challenge El so fully other than a Perna. “Because you attacked Matrix!” Ah called back. “I was simply protecting his life.”

“He wanted to die—”

“He never said that!” Hershey responded before Matrix could.

“He didn’t have to,” El replied as the late-night crowd began to form. “‘I am nothing?’ You think that’s something that Staks say? It’s either you wanna die or you wanna live.”

Matrix furrowed his eyebrows causing El to roll his eyes, taking Ah’s hand off his neck and walking toward the fallen Stak. Matrix held a hand up and the guards got ready for a fight. Halsey pushed his way into the crowd and called out, “El!”

El ignored him, he ignored them all, flipping his sword around and pointing the handle toward Matrix. With his right hand, where El’s Perna tattoo laid, he opened up his palm for Matrix to take.

“I said,” El repeated. “Life…” El wiggled his open hand’s fingers. “…Or death.” He tightened his grip on the sword, but his Sync skin made sure it didn’t pierce.

Matrix looked at El’s two hands, his racing heart very aware of the crowd building around them. Finally, Matrix looked up at El, at him as a whole. He saw every detail of him in that one moment, from the uneven shape of his eyebrows to the freckle on his neck.

“I mourn the person who can carry both,” Matrix whispered just loud enough for El to hear. He could see the twitch in his eye when Matrix said that, and that’s all he wanted.

Matrix took El’s hand, sliding rough palm into rough palm and squeezing. El pulled Matrix off the ground and finally the Queens could exhale. “Okay folks! Show’s over!” Willow announced. “Back to your lives!” The crowd dispersed and as it did, El let go and walked away without another word, Hershey quick to abandon Matrix and follow him. He put a hand on El’s shoulder and spun him around. El didn’t look surprised to see him there. The Nat knew exactly what he wanted to say: “Do you hate me? Because it feels like you just…hate me.”

El looked at him eye-to-eye, wondering himself. “I wish it were that simple.” With nothing else to say, El walked away for good.

As Matrix watched Hershey go, Halsey turned away from them and toward Ah who was standing a bit away. Halsey could tell by the look on her face that she was her again. She turned to Halsey as they made eye contact, both parties wishing they hadn’t.