My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 38
Upon paying closer attention to his words, I caught a hint of vulnerability and helplessness laced in his tone.
The old me would have been overjoyed to hear this.
I closed my eyes and didn't say another word, neither did I try to break free from his embrace. We stood there stiff for a long time
before he finally let go of me. He then asked in a soft voice, "What is your room number?"
That immediately brought a frown to my face. "It would be better for you to get a room of your own," I told him.
He proceeded to stride into the hotel like he hadn't heard a word I said. I stood there contemplating for some time before I
headed to the elevator and pressed the button that brought me to the 5th floor.
As I got to my room and pushed the door open, I was so startled I froze in place. "How did you find out my room number?" I
asked, baffled as I was sure I didn't tell May my room number.
Nicholas took off his tie with an indifferent expression. "What an unfortunate coincidence that you live in a hotel that belongs to
me. Oh, and one more thing—May Sommer's didn't even contact me."
"You knew I was in Eldham from the time I checked into this hotel with my ID card? When did you come here? How long have
you been waiting outside?" I looked at him in surprise and asked.
I ran away to Eldham with the sole intention to get away from him, but I had no idea that I had foolishly entered his lair.
Nicholas didn't say anything as the corners of his lips curled into a smile. Despite him being so angry he could explode just
awhile ago, he was now in a very happy mood.
I, on the other hand, was feeling gloomy as I went into the room and got to my suitcase. He didn't stop me when he saw me
tidying up my clothes. He only spoke again after I was done with my chore. "You can't run away from me, Renee Felix. I will go
wherever you go. I have the time to spend on this anyway."

His words made me stop whatever I was doing. Turning to look at him, I coldly asked, "What the hell do you want from me?"
We were like a knot that couldn't be undone. This, however, wasn't my fault. It was because he kept sticking to me like an
annoying fly.
He had become rather stubborn when it came to me after he lost his memory.
"Marry me again. Become Mrs. Forger once more."
I somewhat subconsciously shot him a reply. "Impossible."
I would never become his wife again in this life.
His face visibly fell when I unhesitantly rejected him. As he raised his hand to touch my cheek, I turned my head the other way to
dodge him. He then squatted down to look at me at eye level. His deep eyes seemed to shine as he looked into mine, and it was
so piercing my eyes started to burn.
I still couldn't suppress the thundering emotions that would arise because of him.
These emotions all came from the pain, sadness, helplessness, and greed of the past.
I suddenly understood why everyone told me that Nicholas was the one who stayed with me for three years.
This man was both the reason for the love and the hurt within the deepest corner of my heart, even if the love had been passed
on to him from elsewhere.
Just as May said, Christopher's appearance had been a flash in the pan. He was the reason I got to know Nicholas. Thinking of
this, my fixation from nine years ago seems to waver ever-so-slightly.
I couldn't help feeling dejected as my faith crumbled.

As I lowered my gaze, I heard him say, "Renee, I don't know what happened between us as I lost my memory. It feels very back-
and-forth to not be in control. You are used to being in a position of power as the president of Felix Corporation, so I am sure you
know how I feel. I want to regain that memory, Renee. My doctor said that I need to get in touch with people and things from the
past, and you just so happen to be the most crucial person in this."
I was the president of my company, which meant that I was always at a high position. Naturally, I would understand how
important figures habitually felt the need to have everything within their control.
I then stood up and smiled indifferently. "What makes you think I will help you?"
He stood up as well the next moment. He tilted his head and looked at ripples of the river water before he said softly in a low and
magnetic voice. "I can give you love and care if that is what you want. Coincidentally, I want my memory back. We have what
each other needs. Give us a chance, Renee."
He said that he could give me love and care the way I wanted to receive them...
He had given me those before, but he didn't even last more than a few days before he went away from my life.
The next time we met again was when he insisted on sending my friend to prison. He didn't even reconsider his decision no
matter how hard I pleaded with him.
I recall how I had brought up my lost child then. "I didn't say anything when you took my child away from me two years ago,
Nicholas. I didn't even make noise when you said that I had no right to be the mother of your children when we were in front of
the doctor! Now that you have taken away my chance of becoming a mother, how about you let May go in return?"
Nicholas at the time was extremely kind to Maria, but he was oddly cruel and cold-hearted to me. It was glaringly obvious how
pathetic I must have seemed when put to comparison like this. All in all, the only reason he had acted that way was because he
didn't love me then.
It wasn't as though I couldn't understand why he did everything he did. He didn't love me, after all.
However, I couldn't forgive and forget the fact that he was already treating me that way back when I was still his spouse.

He had never respected me as a person, and neither had he shown respect for me as his wife.
I walked to him and as I held his hand tight, I slid my fingers between his. He looked stunned by my sudden approach. I then
raised our hands in front of my face and asked without that much of an emotion in my voice, "Why do you think I need your
love?"
Nicholas was at a loss for words.
I could get anyone to date me, but I would never go to him or Christopher.
Seeing as to how he wasn't going to reply to me, I asked again, "Were you not curious about what exactly happened between
us?"
I could feel his grip tighten then as my palm turned white from the lack of blood flow. Still, I put on a calm face and smiled. "I fell
in love with a man nine years ago. He was like my religion, and I would always follow him. However, he left my world soon after.
Fast forward to six years later, your father came to me and asked me to marry a member of the Forger Family. As you already
know, the Felixes were in such a high position we looked down upon the whole of Bryxton. On top of that, the Forger Corporation
was only a technology company that hasn't even been around for ten years. Naturally, I rejected your father's proposal."
Nicholas pursed his lips for a moment before he asked, "And then what happened?"
It was still fresh in my memory how my heart quivered hopefully when Chairman Forger took out that photo. The only thought I
had at that time was that I had to marry the man in the photo no matter what.
So when I learned of Maria's existence, I took the initiative to look for her like how wealthy women would deal with their
husband's entanglement outside. I was willing to endure the pain and hurt by myself.
With my eyes wet, I started barking one question after another. "I thought you were him when your father showed me your photo,
and that was why I married you with no hesitation. But you? You abused me for three whole years and killed the child in my
womb! How do you think my uterine cancer came about? How do you think my body got ruined like this?!"

His pupils abruptly dilated as he heard my accusations, and he took a step back.
But I wasn't done with him. "You forced me into sleeping with you when my body hasn't recovered from the abortion! I couldn't
bear to reject you because I thought you were Christopher. I never once rejected you! Even though you hurt me time after time, I
always forgave you unconditionally and did my best to treat you well! I was even willing to give you my company and everything
else after I learned about how much time I have left!" I exclaimed tearfully as I covered my eyes with my hands.
I knew that the more selfless my words sounded, the more I was hurting Nicholas. Every sacrifice I had done was because I had
mistaken him for Christopher.
I didn't know why I was spouting things to hurt him intentionally, but it felt great the more I talked.
Slowly and steadily, I was returning all the heartache he had caused me before.
His voice was deep and heavy when he finally spoke again. "Does this mean that I am a thief who took what never belonged to
me?" he asked.
I released his hand and lifted my chin to look at him.
Nicholas' eyes had turned red at this point. He was probably holding back his anger after listening to my words.
After all, he was a possessive man. He could never accept the fact that he had received love that was mistakenly given to him
because of a misidentification. I gave myself a minute to think things through, and I finally told him truthfully, "Yes. You were
never the man I was in love with."