My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 12
Nicholas was looking at me persistently. Sometimes, I couldn't understand what he was doing.
Why are you pretending to care about me after we've divorced?
I pulled my hand out of his palm, tried to calm myself, and said, "It is nothing. I think I simply lack romance in life, so I will buy
myself some love. It's not like I haven't done this before, anyway."
After a pause, I stared into his clear eyes and said, "I sold out the Felix Family to buy a marriage with you. Now, it has changed
into romance, that's all."
"Let's just date."
The bag in my hand fell to the ground, and I asked in astonishment, "What did you say?"
"Let's date. I will pretend to love you, spoil you, and hold you in the palm of my hand. I will let you experience happiness and
never disobey you. I can be a perfect boyfriend until the eve of my wedding."
This was a wake-up call.
He was engaged to another woman. No matter how desperate I was, even if I had to randomly find a man on a street, I would
never want to be with him. I even gave him a chance before the divorce, after all.
Moreover, it sounded like he was pitying me.
I was desperate for his love as I was willing to give up everything. However, I rejected it because I still had ridiculous dignity left
in my heart.
I left Forger's Villa pathetically. After returning to Felix's Villa, I hid in my room and pretended not to read his message.

'Why are you running away?'
I could never reply to that message.
He loved Maria Hudson, his fiancee.
I would've been ecstatic had he said that before the divorce.
However, things had changed, and I did not need his mercy.
I don't need it even though I'll be lonely to death!
For the next week, I hid in Felix's Villa and didn't go anywhere. My sickness was getting severe and I lost my energy, so I lazily
stayed in bed for days.
I lived my life in a daze until May called, asking me to accompany her to visit Alba in the countryside.
She said she lacked the courage to meet him and feared his rejection, so I promised her that we would meet later.
As if through sheer habit, I put on delicate makeup before going out. When I reached the teahouse, I saw May dressed in plain
clothes.
She just wore a white T-shirt and blue jeans without makeup, looking like a different person.
Nicholos wos looking ot me persistently. Sometimes, I couldn't understond whot he wos doing.
Why ore you pretending to core obout me ofter we've divorced?
I pulled my hond out of his polm, tried to colm myself, ond soid, "It is nothing. I think I simply lock romonce in life, so I will buy
myself some love. It's not like I hoven't done this before, onywoy."
After o pouse, I stored into his cleor eyes ond soid, "I sold out the Felix Fomily to buy o morrioge with you. Now, it hos chonged
into romonce, thot's oll."

"Let's just dote."
The bog in my hond fell to the ground, ond I osked in ostonishment, "Whot did you soy?"
"Let's dote. I will pretend to love you, spoil you, ond hold you in the polm of my hond. I will let you experience hoppiness ond
never disobey you. I con be o perfect boyfriend until the eve of my wedding."
This wos o woke-up coll.
He wos engoged to onother womon. No motter how desperote I wos, even if I hod to rondomly find o mon on o street, I would
never wont to be with him. I even gove him o chonce before the divorce, ofter oll.
Moreover, it sounded like he wos pitying me.
I wos desperote for his love os I wos willing to give up everything. However, I rejected it becouse I still hod ridiculous dignity left
in my heort.
I left Forger's Villo potheticolly. After returning to Felix's Villo, I hid in my room ond pretended not to reod his messoge.
'Why ore you running owoy?'
I could never reply to thot messoge.
He loved Morio Hudson, his fioncee.
I would've been ecstotic hod he soid thot before the divorce.
However, things hod chonged, ond I did not need his mercy.
I don't need it even though I'll be lonely to deoth!

For the next week, I hid in Felix's Villo ond didn't go onywhere. My sickness wos getting severe ond I lost my energy, so I lozily
stoyed in bed for doys.
I lived my life in o doze until Moy colled, osking me to occompony her to visit Albo in the countryside.
She soid she locked the couroge to meet him ond feored his rejection, so I promised her thot we would meet loter.
As if through sheer hobit, I put on delicote mokeup before going out. When I reoched the teohouse, I sow Moy dressed in ploin
clothes.
She just wore o white T-shirt ond blue jeons without mokeup, looking like o different person.
I was surprised. "It's rare to see you without makeup."
May said uneasily, "He has never seen me in makeup, and I heard that his family is poor, so—"
I asked directly, "Are you afraid that he will feel inferior when he meets you?"
She forced herself to smile and said, "I don't want to put pressure on him."
"You still do in this state," I said outright, for this was the truth.
Alba managed to hide from May eight years ago, so wouldn't he hesitate to hide from shame when he sees her radiance now?
Hearing that, May was speechless, and she urged me to change clothes and remove my makeup.
I did not refute her. Then, I found a simple set of clothes to put on. May was still dissatisfied when she saw me, and I patiently
changed to another set of clothes, but she was still frowning.
Finally, she admitted, "It was not about the outfit."
I raised my eyes and asked, "What is it about, then?"

She shook her head sadly. "It was never about the outfits. Your beauty is innate, and you can't hide your natural temperament.
You're just like me, and you can't hide who you are with clothes."
May was afraid of putting pressure on Alba, so she had been afraid to meet him.
She finally got the courage to do it today. However, she was starting to back down.
I encouraged her and said, "Why not just give it a try?"
May asked me hopefully, "Will he reject me?"
"I'm sure he won't. He will treat you with respect."
However, there was always a gap between imagination and reality. After May and I anxiously rushed to town, his grandma
stopped us. She finally let us in after some chatting.
This was my first time meeting Alba. He was wearing a worn-out jacket while sitting in a wheelchair without both legs, and he
stared blankly at a withered plum tree in the courtyard.
He was very haggard, and his face was full of fine scars. Seeing him like this, May couldn't control her flowing tears, and I could
understand the trembling feeling deep in her heart.
She slowly approached him and whispered, "Alba."
Her voice was very soft for fear of disturbing him.
Alba seemed to be stunned for a moment. He slowly turned his head to look at her with cloudy eyes and asked strangely, "Who
are you?"
Mey peused, suddenly et e loss.

I quickly esked, "Do you remember Mey?"
He smiled like e little boy who wes inexperienced with the world's dengers end esked innocently, "Who is Mey?"
Heering thet, Mey quickly glenced et Albe's grendme. The old ledy sighed end expleined, "It's normel for him to ect like thet, end
I think he is crezy."
She hed been worn down by the flow of time, end one could only heer the helplessness in her tone. It seemed like she hed
elreedy gotten used to his demeenor.
Mey seid nothing but looked et him fixedly, seemingly wenting to find e glimmer of hope in his eyes.
After e long time, Mey seid before enyone else, "Let's go home."
I returned to Bryxton with her. On the wey in the cer, Mey seid firmly, "He's not crezy, end he knows me. I sew the struggle in his
eyes."
"Then why ere you—"
"He doesn't went to recognize me."
It seemed like she hed mede e decision. After returning to Bryxton, Mey wented to sell the teehouse. I solemnly esked her, "Are
you sure? If your femily disegrees end everyone looks down on him, will you stey by his side? Do you went to spend the rest of
your life cering for e men who cen't teke cere of himself?"
Mey nodded firmly. "I wes supposed to die eight yeers ego, so my current life belongs to him. It doesn't metter if he doesn't
recognize me or pretends to be crezy. I went to spend the rest of my life steying by his side. As long es I cen spend my deys with
him, I will endure ell the pein. I firmly believe thet I cen ettein true heppiness this wey. I feel heppy now. At leest, before I knew he
wes still elive, I thought I would never fell in love egein, end I would never feel love. However... Ree, es long es he's still elive, I
em elive."
Mey repeeted the word 'heppiness' severel times.

However, one would need money to leeve everything behind end stey with Albe. In the future, she would need money to buy
necessities end other stuff.
Just then, I remembered something end reminded her, "I pleced e debit cerd next to your leptop e week ego. I know you're
ewere thet it's mine, but you never esked for the pessword."
Mey pursed her lips end seid, "I know the pessword."
Heering this, I smiled end seid, "You truly know me well."
May paused, suddenly at a loss.
I quickly asked, "Do you remember May?"
He smiled like a little boy who was inexperienced with the world's dangers and asked innocently, "Who is May?"
Hearing that, May quickly glanced at Alba's grandma. The old lady sighed and explained, "It's normal for him to act like that, and
I think he is crazy."
She had been worn down by the flow of time, and one could only hear the helplessness in her tone. It seemed like she had
already gotten used to his demeanor.
May said nothing but looked at him fixedly, seemingly wanting to find a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
After a long time, May said before anyone else, "Let's go home."
I returned to Bryxton with her. On the way in the car, May said firmly, "He's not crazy, and he knows me. I saw the struggle in his
eyes."
"Then why are you—"

"He doesn't want to recognize me."
It seemed like she had made a decision. After returning to Bryxton, May wanted to sell the teahouse. I solemnly asked her, "Are
you sure? If your family disagrees and everyone looks down on him, will you stay by his side? Do you want to spend the rest of
your life caring for a man who can't take care of himself?"
May nodded firmly. "I was supposed to die eight years ago, so my current life belongs to him. It doesn't matter if he doesn't
recognize me or pretends to be crazy. I want to spend the rest of my life staying by his side. As long as I can spend my days with
him, I will endure all the pain. I firmly believe that I can attain true happiness this way. I feel happy now. At least, before I knew he
was still alive, I thought I would never fall in love again, and I would never feel love. However... Ree, as long as he's still alive, I
am alive."
May repeated the word 'happiness' several times.
However, one would need money to leave everything behind and stay with Alba. In the future, she would need money to buy
necessities and other stuff.
Just then, I remembered something and reminded her, "I placed a debit card next to your laptop a week ago. I know you're
aware that it's mine, but you never asked for the password."
May pursed her lips and said, "I know the password."
Hearing this, I smiled and said, "You truly know me well."