Moonlit Fur Chronicles: Torn Fur

It was finally the weekend, the sky was cloudy and dark. Perfect weather to learn how to be a wolf, I was sort of looking forward to it but sort of not. I had gone through the last few months without much wolfish activity. Casey, River, and I walked into the woods for our werewolf class. My phone vibrated, Sloan had texted me curious as to my whereabouts. Usually we do something dumb on the weekends, go to the movies, and friend activities. I sent him a text so he’d know I was busy. He asked if it was ‘wolf stuff’. This guy would seriously not let this go. I asked him why he was so obsessed with wolves all of a sudden. He responded with the text “When your best friend is a werewolf, you go along for the ride. Ride or die baby!” I told him this was very dangerous and he very well could die. Sloan wasn’t phased; go figure. “Reese,” River asked, “so what’s the deal with the guy from the other night? Are you into him?” I actually laughed at her question. “Me and Sloan? Dating? Oh no, he is a friend. My only friend really. He knows about me…my extra fuzzy side. I mean before that night.”

“He doesn’t seem to care. Well, actually, he is pretty excited about it. I mean he treated me like a regular person after he knew, which was a lot better than how my parents treated me.” Casey nodded solemnly, “We both can relate to that.”

River asked, “Okay, then if you’re not dating him, what were you doing out in the middle of the woods so early in the morning?” I sighed, “That’s a little harder to answer. Since he’s been such a good friend to me, I kinda go along with his crazy adventures. They usually put both of us in trouble.” Casey laughed, “Sounds like me before I got extra fuzzy!” I smiled and kept on trudging through the woods. “What do you think I should do about Sloan? He is going to want to get involved. I mean technically he already is, he knows about my ‘fuzzy’ side.” We walked in silence for a minute. “River, what do you think,” Casey asked. She took a deep breath, “Reese, there’s no easy answer for that. Werewolves don’t have a lot of control in wolf form. Everything is more instinctual. Humans can get hurt, turned, or worse, killed if they are involved. Without going into too much detail, my early days as a wolf were too bloody. I…hurt people I loved.”

River fell silent. Casey felt the uncomfortable silence and chimed in, “Yes, I agree with River, it can be extremely dangerous for humans among wolves. I can’t tell people what to do, only offer suggestions. If you are okay with it and Sloan knows the risks, it’s his choice.” Casey thought for a minute, “I’d venture a guess that River would prefer to keep him out of this.” River grunted affirmatively. I decided that if I was going to let Sloan around the wolf stuff, I’d keep him away from River. Maybe I could introduce Sloan to Casey, maybe.

We were about five or six miles into the woods when we came across a clearing with large boulders in the center. We sat down on the rocks and started talking about wolf stuff. Casey started with how he learned to shift, he said the ability to shift was tied to emotion, anger specifically. It could be possible to use other emotions if they were intense enough but anger was usually the easiest. He decided some hands-on practice would be in order. He and River went around to the other side of one of the boulders, giving me a little privacy. A minute or two later, Casey and River were in their wolf forms walking around the boulder. Casey walked away but River came up beside me. Her light colored fur was beautiful and shone in the sunlight. She touched me gently with her big wet nose and whined softly, as if to invite me to join them. I didn’t feel like undressing in the middle of the woods but I really didn’t want to shred another outfit. “Okay, fine.” I mumbled. I quickly slipped out of my clothes and sat back on the rock hugging my knees to my chest, trying to get angry enough to shift. I just wasn’t feeling it.

I usually feel numb or sad or borderline depressed. River dropped into a play bow, kinda like dogs do to show they want to play with other dogs. “I’m trying! Give me a second,” I told her. Rivers’ tail started to wag, she was ready to go have fun. “Well go on then. Play with Casey. I’ll figure it out or I won’t. Whatever.” River whined softly again, turned tail and bounded off to find Casey. I watched them play for a while, chasing one another or keeping a stick from each other. It was pretty adorable. I longed for that type of friendship and intimacy. The gentle breeze tickled my skin. I tried to shift, I really did. I just wasn’t an angry person. River and Casey came back around, but Casey was in their human form. He sat down with his back to me and asked, “Are you having trouble?” It felt a little awkward with River there but I assumed they were kinda used to this sort of thing.

“I just can’t get angry. I’m not that type of person.” Casey nodded, “okay. Ummm let’s try this. Tell me about the other times you shifted.” Great, a walk down memory lane was not what I had in mind. I knew he was trying to help. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the first time I had shifted. All the memories I had repressed flooded back as painful and vivid as ever.

I remembered walking alone in my hometown. I enjoyed late night walks, it was so peaceful and quiet and dark. I was walking and I heard a twig snap. I thought nothing off because we had lots of squirrels and woodland creatures running amok. The great full moon shone brightly casting long shadows from trees and bushes and houses. suburbia at midnight was quite beautiful. It was quiet, almost too quiet.

Usually there were small animals rustling about, but not that night. I didn’t see much, it happened so fast. What looked like a huge dog raced around a house corner and leaped on top of me. It sunk its fangs into my shoulder. I screamed in pain and tried to fight it off. It was too big and heavy. Something stronger pulled the giant dog off of me. Both creatures raced off into the night, leaving me to bleed out. The pain was unbearable. I felt my skin get incredibly hot, my stomach churned. My body started convulsing painfully. I was so confused and scared. What had that beast done to me? I felt my ribs crack and break. My nerves felt like they were on fire. I screamed in pain. Why wasn’t anyone coming to help me? I passed out.

I had the most insane dreams about running around in the dark, chasing animals, ducking tree limbs and dodging fences. I woke up in the hospital. I had been missing for 2 days apparently. I was found dehydrated and naked, my body covered in dirt and patches of blood. My parents thought I had a mental breakdown and had taken drugs. The doctors didn’t believe me, my shoulder had healed before I made it to the ER. I didn’t know what happened.

The second time I shifted, it was about a week later. My parents had barged into my room demanding an explanation about my drug induced nudist outing. I was so scared and stressed. They were screaming at me and I was freaking out. I tried to tell them I had no idea what happened, they refused to believe me about the dog attack, my shoulder had healed perfectly. My anxiety levels were so high I couldn’t think straight. I was terrified my father would hit me, he had done it before. The next thing I knew, my body started convulsing and shifting. Fur sprouted everywhere on my body, my teeth fell out and fangs grew in their place. My parents froze in fear. I bolted past them and jumped out the window, the broken glass tearing at my skin. I ran and ran as far away as I possibly could. The wolf was in charge and it was looking for something or someone to eat. I don’t know how I managed to get away from my parents before I ate them. That was the last time I saw them. They haven’t tried to contact me since I left.

I slowly opened my eyes, a lone tear snuck its way down my cheek.