Love Aint Always Pretty

Scintilla

- a tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely-visible trace

Origin: Latin

35

"Can I come in?" Nick asked.

I widened the door for him. "Sure."

I think he's not drunk. He doesn't smell liqour at all. He walks inside my room and I headed to the bed while he stands right across me. He's looking at me while we were alone in this dim room. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

I gazed at my watch, as if I dont know the time. "It's already one in the morning."

"The frat house was too loud, I couldn't sleep."

My eyebrows creasing. "You mean to say you want to sleep here?"

"Can I?" he asked.

I stared at him. "Sure."

I slightly moved and crawled to my bed while he walks closer to me. He sits on top of the mattress and I settled myself on down. He kicks off his shoes and lays down right next to me while he covers the blanket over us. Both of us were still staring at the ceiling and neither of us wanted to talk even though it was evident that we wanted to say something. I propped my left knee and flexed it up while I feel his feet slightly brushing against the toes of my right foot. It was unusual for him to come here this late and unnoticed to ask me if he could sleep here cos the frat house was loud or maybe I'm putting a meaning on it again.

"How was your day today?" He speaks.

"Great. Me and Channing went bowling right after we had dinner. You should've joined us." I said.

"Wouldn't want to ruin your date."

I chuckled. "It wasn't a date. Channing's just a really good friend of mine."

He didn't answer.

"Did you tell him about us?" He asked.

"Nope. He doesn't really have to know our business." I said.

All of a sudden he placed his left leg over my right thigh that it made me look at him. I turn to my side to look at him as I place my left knee over his thigh but he was still staring at the ceiling while his hands were placed under his head. His eyes made me think that he was having deep thoughts on his mind right now and I want to figure him out again. I want to go into his troubled and hard to read mind. I want to figure him out. I want to understand him but it's just too hard. It's just so hard.

"How was your day?" I asked him while I was still looking at him.

"Nothing extraordinary." He says.

He didn't look at me but I was still looking at him. I didn't move and I was just staring at his pointy nose tip and his scruffy beard. I stared at his flexed elbow that showed his biceps while his eyes were still glued at the ceiling. I wonder what's up there that he's much more looking at it than me.

Finally.

Nick moved his head his side and looks at me. I smiled but he didn't. I pulled my hand out and run my forefinger in between his eyebrows. "They're knitted together."

He smirked. Finally, a little smile on his gloomy face.

"They are?" He relaxed his brows.

I smiled.

"You look lovely today by the way." He added while he pushes my hair back.

"Thanks Nick. You never fail to compliment me. Now I'm doubting if you really mean that."

"I do. I mean it." He says sternly.

He leans closer and kissed my forehead quickly.

"I have one rule out of three by the way. I've been thinking about it lately." I said.

"Okay. Let's hear your rule."

"Don't make me get my hopes up for a future especially if we know we can't own one." I said.

He looks into my eyes and it was hard to tell if he liked it or not. "That's my rule for you." I said firmly. "Am I getting your hopes up?" He asked.

Shit.

"Cos if I am then I think as early as now we need to end this before I could hurt you." He added.

You're already hurting me Nick.

"Nick what if I fell in love with you. What will you do?" I asked.

"I'll be letting you go." He said so easily.

Ouch.

The words hurt me but the way he said it so casually got me thousand times.

"You don't need that broken kind of love Savannah." He added.

I bent my head down a little, just a little so he won't see that I was hurt by what he said to me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tear up and just dump my face on my pillow. I bit my lip hard so I could stop myself from crying. Im not allowed to get hurt. I'm not allowed to show him it's hurting me or else he'll end this. I don't want him to let me go cos I'm already in love with him cos this thing that we're doing is the only thing that makes me happy even though it has nowhere to go. I want him to feel the same way that I do but it's killing me deep down inside cos he shows me he can't.

"So you still have two rules left." He says.

I pulled my head up and smiled at him ruefully. Why does every time I look into his eyes, he makes me think that he's also in love with me? When he said those words, his eyes looks at me and tells me differently from the words that he was trying to say.

"Yeah. I still need to think about it." I said.

"Okay. So how long will your ex boyfriend be staying around here?" He asked.

"Well he said he'll be leaving Monday morning. He'll pick me up here tomorrow. We'll be going hiking. It's what we usually do on Sundays before, there's this hidden waterfall on one of the forests around here." I say with a smile.

He nods.

"Can I come?" He asked.

My eyes flared. "You're going with us?"

He nods. "If that's alright. I have nothing to do tomorrow anyways."

I smiled at him.

"Of course you can. That's gonna be so much fun! We're leaving after lunch around one tomorrow and don't forget to bring extra clothes." I said.

"Okay." He kissed my forehead.

.....

I see Channing's car already parked right outside the dorm. "Channing! Will it be okay if Nick will join us?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's gonna be fun." Channing answered while he opens the passenger door for me.

"Hop in Annie. Just stay close by Nick. It's gonna be a long drive." Channing added.

I hopped inside Channing's car then he closed it for me. I watch them as they talk quickly before Nick heads close to his car. I wanted to ride with Nick but Channing already opened the door for me and it would be very disrespectful if I won't go with him, he's the guest here anyways.

"You really asked him to come." Channing says before turning on the engine.

"He wanted to come." I said, buckling my belt on me.

Channing laughs. "This is gonna be a fun."

He starts to drive and I see Nick's car from the rear view just following us. I pulled my phone out and messaged Nick: I wanted to ride with you :(

"How long have you known Nick exactly?"

I gazed at Channing. "Since the first time I came here in WSU."

My phone beeped.

We can find a place in the forest and be a little sneaky so you can ride me. :) -Nick

I smirked at how he sorry texted me. Nick's in a good mood. He's being playful today. Sometimes I hate it when were texting cos he's so emotionless even on messages. He doesn't put LOL, LMFAO, or even a simple HAHA. But at least he uses smileys.

I meant the car. But riding you would be nice too. ;) -Savannah

Was it too slutty? But I'm still smiling over my text that I sent Nick. I wonder how he looked when he read it while driving.

"Earth calling to Savannah?" I hear Channing talking.

"Uh, what were you saying?" I asked.

"I said you have to be careful today cos the last time we went there, you slipped on a rock and almost fell if I didn't catch you." Channing says.

I nod. "Yeah. I'll be careful."

My phone beeped again.

"Who are you texting anyways?" He asked.

"Roommate. I asked her if she'd be coming back to the dorm anytime today cos I'm out. I wondered if she had her keys." I lied.

I guess we'll find out later on about it then? -Nick

I smile at myself.

After almost an hour and thirty minutes we finally reached the forest. They parked the cars and the three of us headed out. I grabbed my backpack with me and so did the two of them. I see Mr. Fletcher outside his old house, I can't believe he's still here.

"He's still alive? Wow." Channing says.

"Will it be ok to park our cars here?" Nick asked curiously.

"Yeah. Mr. Fletcher will watch it for us but we need to pay per hour." I say.

Channing waved at Mr. Fletcher and it amazes me that he still remembers us. He starts walking close to where we were.

"It's good to see you both again coming here. Still together huh?" Mr. Fletcher said right away. It was obvious he meant me and Channing. But I just smiled at him.

"It's good to see you too Mr. Fletcher. Looks like you didn't age." Channing complimented him.

"Ah you're always a witty man Channing. That's what I love about you. Go ahead now and enjoy." Mr. Fletcher said.

The three of us started hiking and thanked Mr. Fletcher before we left him. I was right behind Channing and Nick was walking right behind me, so I was right in the middle of them. The first few minutes, Channing and I were talking but then fifteen minutes had passed, the three of us were just quiet. We've been walking extremely quiet.

The trees stood utterly still, like statutes in a living museum where some leaves were falling. The sounds of the leaves brushing while the wind was whistling around the trucks. I hear squawking birds just above us and hostile screeching of animals. The forest was still and quiet.

All of a sudden a hand grabbed me on my wrist and pulled me behind a tree. I know it was Nick but I didn't expect he would do that. My back is now pinning against the trunk of a tree and he was busy taking a peak from Channing. He looks back at me and smiled before kissing me on my lips. I kissed him back and I moaned on his mouth. My arms bundled around his neck and his fingers gently squeezing my hips.

"Been wanting to kiss you." He says.

I kissed him quickly. "Me too."

"We need to get back now before Channing suspects us." I added.

He kissed my lips again and he's always making me feel he's into me. Why Nick? I just told you don't get my hopes up but you always do this to me. You do things like this which surprises me and I always fall

for it.

You make my heart melt. You make my heart race. You make me feel like I'm going crazy when you touch me. You make me feel like you love me too. You make me think we could be something more than this You make me feel you want to be with me but you're scared. You're scared of what Nick? You're scared of being tied down?

What are you scared of?

Why do I feel like you're holding yourself back every time you're ready to fall for me?

Or is it all just in my imagination?

SFTC:

Walking Blind - Aidan Hawken ft. Carina Round☐☐