Love Aint Always Pretty

Yuanfen

- a relationship by fate or destiny; the binding force between two people

Origin: Chinese

28

I hear a knock by the door. "Savannah?"

I quickly slipped out of my bikini and covered my naked self with the towel. I rushed to the door and opened it, finding Nick leaning on the wall with nothing on but his white boxers and his body is always giving me a mini heart attack. I moved my head up to his face, "Yeah?"

God he's also checking me out.

He licked his lips. "Here's a shirt."

I reached for it but he quickly pulled it up, "I almost forgot. We were sleeping naked tonight, weren't we?"

Oh that smirk on his face is making me smile as well. "Then why did you have to knock and hand me a shirt?" I arched my eyebrow.

"Cos..."

"Cos?" I asked.

"Cos you were taking so long." he said quickly and in a second, he quickly threw me over his shoulder and I squealed but then covered my mouth right away so I won't wake the others. My towel is already coming off and I was holding onto it to cover my breasts.

He laid me on top of the bed and I was justy smiling at him while he was over me. "I have been waiting for this since that time you stepped out with bikini."

I bite my lip and his hand starts reaching for the hem of my towel. I slowly pulled my hand away from my breasts, letting him open the towel in half. He looks over my naked body lying down before him. "I won't get tired looking at your body." He says whisperingly.

I smiled at him and then he reaches for my lips. We start to kiss as I let him pull the towel off the and he threw it to the floor. He manuevers himself on top of me and he starts kissing my neck.

I whimper as I feel his hand running over my inner thigh moving up and up and up until it reaches my sex. His big hand gently pressed against my nub and his lips starts moving down. I feel him kissing over my breasts and his lips brushing over my rib cage leaving featherlike kisses on my skin. His lips now on my hipbone and moves down in between my thighs.

I gasped the second he reached my entrance.

His tongue is amazing. His lips knows well what it's doing. I love the way he looks at me while he licks me. I love how he locks his arms around my thigh to keep me down. I love how he is so great in bed that I cant think of anyone else but him. I love having sex with Nick. I love how he makes me feel so good and so great about myself.

He ate me for twenty goddamn minutes and by the end of it I was shaking uncontrollably.

I watch him tearing the foil and putting the condom on his considerable erection then he slolwy goes inside me. His lips kissing me again and his tongue goes down into my mouth as he keeps thrusting me. He pulls his head away from me and holds my hands down on the bed, while he takes a look into my eyes. He's looking right at me and the way he looks makes me think he loves me. My body and my heart is battling.

"Argh..." I moaned, grasping his hand.

I couldn't explain how he makes my body feel so high. It's like I'm on drugs.

Every touch.

Every look.

Every kiss.

Every lick.

Every suck.

Every thrust.

Everything about Nick that he does to me is beyond the word fantastic.

He intoxicates me.

My heels digging into the bed as he gains speed. He pounds and he didn't even stop to rest. He just keeps going and going. He was now drenched with sweat and I wiped his forehead for him but to be honest it was hard to control myself from not yelling.

"Oh God.." there it goes, Im starting to loose it.

I am now clawing the bedsheets, biting my lip down and my body arching up. I whimper, almost a little cry escaping from my lips. Nick makes me feel alive. Nick makes me feel like a beautiful woman. Nick makes me feel like Im a Goddess and he's the only guy who makes me lose the ability to think straight. I cant think well. And whatever people will call me if they'll find out about this, it's okay. Sex with Nick is worth it. I love it. I love what we do. I love how he steals hugs and kisses from me. I love how he looks for an excuse for us to be alone together.

Whatever he wants to do, I oblige. It's when I say whatever I feel but damn the future consequences of what's gonna happen after this makes me sick to the bones, but I am really alive when we do this and it's okay. This is okay.

He was right, I should live the present of whatever this thing we have, cos this thing wont last forever. It will end someday.

I dont know what will happen between me and Nick after we decide to stop this, but I am not ready for whatever the future has in store for this kind of relationship we have.

I just wish this wont stop.

.....

I feel my body aching and found myself waking up on top of someone while my cheek was pressed on a naked chest. I looked at myself and I was naked as well covered with this white blanket. I looked around and remembered that I was with Nick last night. I pulled my head up and he was still sleeping. His hand was wrapping around my waist as our legs were crossing over each other effortlessly.

We really did fall asleep naked.

I rested my chin over my hand on top of his chest and just watch him sleeping so quietly. I love how pointed his nose is and how it suited his face. I love how he still manages to look devilishly handsome even when he's doing nothing but just sleeping right here. I love how calm his face is when he's asleep and not a frown or furrowing eyebrows are appearing. I love his lashes, they're thick and long. I love his beard, I could still feel it right now every time he's brushing it over my neck. He knows too damn well my neck is my weakest spot.

I gazed at the clock and it just turned nine in the morning. I need to get out of his bedroom before someone will see me. I just wish they're still asleep though. I reached for the shirt from the drawer right across me that he gave me last night. I moved myself up and pressed my breasts on his chest while my hand was reaching for it.

"Ugh, got it." I said, successfully grabbing the shirt.

"That feels so fluffy..." He says groggily.

I turned my head to Nick who was starting to wake up. He opens his half-closed eyes and his hand rubbing on my back gently.

"Morning." I greeted.

He half-smiled. "Hey. Morning."

"I uhh... Sorry to wake you up but I need to get out of your room." I said.

I pulled myself away from him and wore the shirt over me. I pulled my hair into a bun and I see him sitting down on the bed while he was rubbing his left eye. Suddenly he kissed my cheek, "You still look pretty."

I smiled at turned to face him.

"Do you even mean that?" I asked.

He nods and rests his chin over my shoulder. "I mean it."

I cupped his cheeks and kissed his lips quickly. "I need to go." I said

"Lock the door before you leave. And please be careful." He pulls himself away and laid back to bed.

I slipped off the bed and slowly grabbed the doorknob. I opened it slightly, popping my head out and once I see that the hallway was clear, I ran fast out of his room and headed back to my room.

I shut the door behind me and exhaled.

Every time it ends and one of us leaves the room, most especially of it's me, I just feel completely pushed away after what he got from me. We do it, we have sex and it's magical the moment we do it but once it ends, it's really the end of it. I know I shouldn't feel all of this cos I said I want this physical too, but why is it so goddamn hard not to get my hopes up when I'm with Nick? He just makes everything perfect around me. He makes me forget everyone else. He makes me forget that I shouldn't love him.

.....

By lunch, everyone were at the table and talked about hangover and how the night went. I could see from their faces that they had too much fun and too much drink. Penny kept asking for medicine and she's been moodier than ever. After we ate, I helped Megan and Tracy cleaning up the table. I see Aries getting himself a glass of water and he was just quiet the whole time so I walked up to him. "Hey. How are you?" I asked.

"Still having migraine."

"My mom usually let's me smell peppermint oil or basil oil when I'm having headache. Or she massages my scalp."

"Can you massage my head? I think I really need that right now."

I nod. "Sure."

Aries and I headed out of the kitchen and stumbled to the living room. He lays down on the couch with his head on my lap. I started massaging from the center of his forehead down to his temple and all the way behind his ear. He grunts.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked.

He shakes his head. "A little but it feels good."

I smile and continued massaging his head again. I see the others enjoying the pool before we'll be leaving later this afternoon. The backdoor swings open and it was Nick entering the house. He pauses and stares directly at us but I quickly stared back down at Aries. His grey eyes were opened and they were looking at me.

"About the kiss last night, I hope we're still friends." Aries says.

I nod. "Of course we are. We just did that anyways for the stupid dare."

He smiled.

"You're very cool Savannah. I like that about you." He said to me.

"Wow. I didn't know I was cool. Thanks." I snorted and he laughed softly.

I stared at Nick under my lashes and he was still standing close by but he was heading to the kitchen.

"Tracy can I talk to you for a minute?" I hear Nick's voice.

"Sure!"

"Is that all the bags you guys have?" I hear Romeo talking to the others.

I rushed my way out of the house and everyone were all ready to leave.

"Savannah!" Tracy calls out to me.

"You'll be riding with Nick. Since Clyde is driving Aries' car and I'm going with them. We need to make sure he won't take the long drive." Tracy said.

I see Aries sitting on the back seat of his car so I rushed to him. I opened the door and he moved his head to me. "Hey."

"Are you alright?" I asked.

He nods. "I am. They think it's safer if someone will drive for me. Sorry can't get you back home."

I smiled, telling him that it's alright. "It's okay Aries. It's better to make sure."

I gave him a quick hug and he rubs my back. "Be safe and get well."

I pulled myself away from him then marched my way close to Nick's car. His eyes were locked to me until I reached the passenger seat. He gets on the driver seat and started the engine. We followed the other cars ahead of us and we were the last car moving. Nick and I were quiet again and every time we are both quiet it's awkward. I feel like there's something wrong when we are both quiet.

"You're pretty damn close with Aries, huh?"

He is starting a conversation. I gazed at him but his eyes were locked to the road. Why is he always asking about Aries? Is he mad that I'm friends with him? Is he mad cos we kissed? But why is it that his voice tells me he's..... Jealous?

"Yeah. I think." I answered.

"Are you two screwing up too?"

I was surprised. "Did you really think I could be that kind of woman Nick?"

"I'm just asking."

"You are unbelievable." I blurted out.

"Look." He said and all of a sudden stepped on the break.

I was thrown slightly forward then back and I looked back at him while his eyes were shot at me. "I didn't say you were that kind of woman. I was just really asking."

"Why do you always keep asking about me and Aries anyways? It doesn't concern you, does it?" I asked.

"It does."

Both of us got quiet.

"It concerns me cos I hate seeing you with him. I'm not being jealous so don't get it wrong. I just don't want you to end up the way he did to Tracy." He added.

I'm not being jealous so don't get it wrong. Those were the only words I heard pretty damn clear and it's making me feel devastated. I wanted him to get jealous. I wanted him to say something else other than

that. He starts driving again and I didn't answer him anymore. I turned my back to him and just stared outside the window. I really shouldn't set my hopes up when it comes to Nick.

The whole drive was deafening with silence until we reached the city proper. We didn't talk after that and I noticed that it was already getting dark.

"Wanna have dinner?" He asked.

"No. I think I need to get back to the dorm and sleep." I answered.

"Are you sure? We can always drop by some drive-thru." He offers again.

"I'm fine. I'm not hungry."

I feel him gazing at me.

After a while we reached the dorm and I quickly grabbed my bag. "Thanks for driving me back here."

I stepped out of his car and slammed the door close. I am battling with my heart. I am more mad at myself. I am not mad at Nick cos he said that. He didn't say anything wrong but I am the one who's giving meaning to everything he does to me. I am the one setting my hopes up cos he does this and say this and that when I shouldn't be sugarcoatting everything.

"Savannah."

I paused once I heard him calling out my name. I didn't turn around so I just looked at him over my shoulder.

"Did I say anything wrong?" He asked.

I exhaled and faced him. "No Nick. I'm just tired that's all."

"Alright then." He climbs into his car.

I didn't watch him leave anymore instead I went inside the dorm. Gosh Savannah don't make a fool out of yourself.

When I went out of the shower, I see Tracy lying down on her bed while she was doing her nails. I walked up to my bed and started rubbing my hair.

"Trace?" I called out.

"Yeah? Want me to do your nails for you?"

I smiled. "No. I'm just curious."

"About?" She blows her fingernails.

I stared at her. "What happened to Nick eight years ago?"

Her face changed and she seemed to be avoiding my stares. "I promised Nick I won't be talking about it to someone anymore. I'm sorry Savannah."

I exhaled. I knew she was going to say that.

"Are you all of a sudden interested with Nick?" She asks.

I gazed at her and she was looking at me seriously. Should I tell her what's going on with me and her brother? But I promised Nick that I won't. And a part of me wants to tell her cos she's also a girl and she wil totally understand what I am feeling and why I am confused. She could help me.

"Nick is not capable of being interested on other women, Savannah. He closed himself to other people eight years ago even sometimes to me and Alec. I like you for Nick to be honest but I don't want you to

get hurt cos of my brother." She added.

My heart fell.

"Nick will only hurt you. He doesn't fall in love cos he doesn't want to fall in love anymore." She said.

I sighed. "Im not... Interested on your brother or expecting something from him Tracy. I'm just.... Really curious of Nick."

She nods. "Good. Cos I don't want to see you hurt cos of Nick. Anyways, we can do your nails. I have a few other colors."

I just smiled. "I really need to review my lessons for tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay. If you want to color your nails, you can always tell me." She smiles briefly and continued coloring her nails.

I exhale.

It hurts even more to hear it coming from Nick's sister. She likes me for Nick, I'm happy about that, but she tells me I'm not allowed to love Nick cos he's not capable of doing so. Even Tracy is telling me that

which hurt me even worst.

SFTC:

Bound To You - Christina Aguilera