Light My Fire

I’m having an amazing, fun, flirty, and confusing as hell weekend.

I lost my virginity last night in the most perfect way possible.

Wyatt made it sexy and fun and very, very satisfying for me.

At various moments throughout the day, I’m suddenly reminded of what it felt like to have Wyatt moving inside me, gaze locked on mine, and my body feels tingly all over. The orgasms he gave me… oh my god. I had no idea a tongue could do that.

I’m a little sore, but not much. More like just aware that my body was well-loved.

It—and Wyatt—were everything that I could have hoped for in my sexual introduction.

But now that I’ve experienced it, I feel greedy.

Give me more, more, more.

Wyatt made it clear he’s happy to oblige.

But… dang it.

Jackson Hill.

There’s just something about him. Yes, he’s incredibly handsome and muscular. It’s more than that, though. He’s so easy to laugh with and he also showed me a caring and compassionate side last night when I found him sleeping by the dogs.

I’m intrigued with the idea of what it would be like to experience pleasure at his hand.

As I change into my last remaining pair of clean leggings and a tank top, I think maybe Wyatt was right—he’s created a monster.

My phone pings on the nightstand where I have it charging and I glance down. It’s my grandmother.

I realize my grandmother was matchmaking, but I don’t think she intended for me to have quite this much fun.

Then again, with Heidi Wilder, you never know.

I also have a text from my best friend Sophie who is also in vet school.

I don’t want to text about my night with Wyatt or my conflicted feelings. That is best discussed over a platter of nachos and some chilled margaritas.

I should be worried about the fact that the snow isn’t melting fast enough to get me home on Sunday, but instead I’m totally distracted by the undeniable fact that I’m attracted to both Wyatt and Jackson.

Plus, Luke, if I’m being totally honest.

But Luke doesn’t want anything to do with me.

He’s been nice. He’s polite. He’s almost completely stopped scowling. But he’s treating me like a kid sister. One who crashed his guys’ weekend. He’s merely tolerating me.

Grabbing up all of my dirty clothes, I toss them into a laundry basket in the main bedroom’s closet and head out into the hallway. I didn’t expect to be here an extra two days and I’m out of clean underwear. Though I could probably go without underwear.

That thought sneaks in from nowhere.

Yep. Definitely created a monster.

I still want to do laundry anyway. I hate getting back home to my apartment and having to empty a suitcase full of dirty clothes.

“Oh, sorry!” I say when I push the laundry room open and find Luke in there, bent over.

His butt in those jeans has my mouth turning dry.

He stands up, a scoop of dry dog food in a measuring cup from the kitchen. “Just getting Henley more food. I read online we need to up her calories while she’s nursing. Is that okay? I should have asked you first, Dr. Wilder.”

I think he means the title to be respectful but it makes me uncomfortable. I’m never sure if he’s mocking me or if he likes me just fine. He’s really hard to read.

“If she’s hungry, Henley should definitely eat.” I should step back to let him out but I hesitate. “Luke, I just want to apologize. I know this was supposed to be your guys’ weekend and I’m here throwing off the whole vibe.”

And having sex with your friend.

He shrugs. “No one planned on a blizzard.”

“I know, but…

“Brooke, please. Don’t worry about it. I see these two guys all the time. My weekend has not been ruined.”

“You seem frustrated.” I should let it go but my mouth keeps moving. “I feel like you don’t like me.”

Luke rubs his jaw. He sets the measuring cup with dog food down on the closed lid of the washing machine. “That’s not what this is. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

“Then what is it?” I’m genuinely bewildered.

Luke sighs. “It’s a self-preservation thing, okay? I like you too much. Way too damn much. I think you’re intelligent and sweet and sexy as hell.”

My jaw drops and my nipples grow tight. “Oh. But then why…”

“Because I’m all wrong for you. I’m dominating and grumpy and way too selfish for a woman like you.”

My whole body suddenly feels warm.

Luke wants me.

There’s lust in his eyes, and his shoulders are tense.

I instantly feel relieved and very, very turned on. “Maybe you should let me decide what a woman like me wants.”

But he shakes his head firmly. “No. Absolutely not. I was married once, and it ended badly. She cheated on me and lied to me so carelessly that she fucking let me think the baby she was carrying was mine. Never a hint that it might not be.” His fists clench and unclench and his voice cracks a little. “She let me watch the baby being born—a little girl who was fucking perfect—and I thought she was mine, Brooke. I fell in love with that baby, only to have her ripped away from me.”

I’m shocked and absolutely heartbroken for him. I drop the laundry basket, and without thinking, just open my arms and pull him into an embrace. I rub his back gently. “Luke, I am so sorry. That’s just horrible. I can’t believe you went through that.”

My assumption is the baby—who can’t even be a baby anymore—is not in his life at all, so I don’t pry. I’m grateful he opened up to me and my heart breaks for his pain.

Luke rests against me for a moment, breathing in deeply on the side of my neck. Then he says gruffly, “Thanks. But I can’t and I don’t trust relationships anymore. There’s a wall up and it’s not coming down. Not even for you, angel.”

Angel.

He’s called me that twice now.

I feel incredible relief knowing he isn’t being rude because he finds something about me objectionable. He is building a barrier between us.

“I understand,” I tell him, even though it makes me sad. “But if you think I would ever hurt you, you’re wrong.”

Luke releases me and pins me with a hard stare. “No. I would hurt you. That’s what I’m afraid of. That would kill me if I did that to you, Brooke. It would break my heart all over again if I destroyed you. I don’t want you to ever feel this bitterness that I live with.”

I nod. I press my lips together. If he feels that way, I’m not going to try to talk him out of it. Given my inexperience, he’s probably way more than I can handle, anyway.

I do want to reassure him in some way. “I won’t flirt with you, I promise.”

“But you will flirt with both Wyatt and Jackson.”

He doesn’t pose it as a question.

“I like them both,” I confess. “It’s very confusing. They’re both great guys.”

Luke has shifted, so he’s in the doorway now, putting physical distance as well as emotional distance between us. He leans against the doorframe, looking very masculine and in command.

The word he used to describe himself pops into my head. Dominating. Would I like that?

I think I would. From him, anyway.

“Wyatt is ready for a relationship. Marriage, a house, kids.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for all that. I haven’t explored dating at all. I love spending time with Wyatt, but I don’t want to rush into anything.”

I realize too late maybe I shouldn’t be asking Luke for dating advice.

“You said it yourself. You haven’t explored. So explore. Make out with Jackson. Hell, do whatever you want with him. You’re young and you should have some fun.”

“Okay. Thanks, Luke.”

“You’re welcome. Now do me a favor and put a sweatshirt on. You’re killing me.”

I glance down and see my nipples have been standing at attention throughout our entire conversation. Including during that hug.

“Oh!” I cover them with my hand. “Sorry.”

Luke grins. “Don’t ever be sorry for having needs and wants, Brooke. We all have them.”

“But some of us don’t get what we want?” I ask softly.

The grin falters. “No, we don’t.” His voice is flat. He turns on his heel.

“Wait, you forgot⁠—

But he’s already gone.

—the dog food.” I sigh and bend over to pick up my laundry basket.

Well, that didn’t clear up my confusion at all.

I feel like I’m even more attracted to Luke.

Who is totally off-limits.

This is why I need to focus on exploring sex, not starting any kind of serious relationship.

I dump my laundry and start the washer. I grab the dog food and head back into the kitchen, where Wyatt is making lunch, with a newfound resolve.

My greatest talent is learning. I study like a beast.

I’m going to get as much sex education this weekend as I possibly can.