Life After the Storm

I continue to walk up to Jayden to talk to him about last night, "Hey buddy, I'm sorry for just taking off."

But when I speak, it's like I have no words. He acted like he didn't hear me and just walked to Landon. "Daddy, can we please go home now."?

I'm confused as to why he is treating me like this. I have done nothing but be nice to him, but instead he is now acting like I don't exist. I want to chase after him. But I will not beg to be loved. As I held my tears back, Dean approached me. "Lilly, is there something that you need?"

"Why are you not helping me with my abilities? You said that you would begin my training, but you have done nothing?"

"I was waiting for you to become a member of the pack, so you would have a bond with a pack."

"As you can tell, I'm not wanted here, to be honest, I'm not wanted anywhere."

"Lilly, I wouldn't be so sure that you are not wanted here. I know that you are, and that you are even loved here."

"Landon hates me and now Jayden."

"Jayden does not hate you, he is a 5-year-old boy that is still grieving the loss of his mother. You come along and you're making him face it. He was able to be with her by hurting himself, but promising you not to hurt himself is making him face it that she really is gone,"

"Lilly, you ran out on him last night no matter what it was for it hurt him reminding how easy it is for people to just despair."

I run outside to catch up to Jayden and pick him up from behind and hug him. "I'm sorry about yesterday, but I need you to know something. I'm not going to just disappear, I promise you Jayden, I love you."

I go to put him down,, but his tiny arms try to wrap around me, and he is holding on to me for dear life. So, I just hold him and allow him to decide when he is ready to let go. "Lilly, I know you didn't do anything wrong, I just wanted to be with you so much and got so sad when you left then I just became so mad at you."

"Buddy, is there any way you could forgive me?"

"Yes Lilly, I'm sorry for being mean to you."

"All is forgiven, let's do something fun to forget all about this."

"Ok, what do you want to do?"

"Buddy, why don't you choose?"

"Ok, Do you want to go back to my house and watch the movie that we didn't get to watch."

"That sounds wonderful, if it's OK with your father."

I can tell that Landon looks frustrated with me, I don't know why I'm trying to make things right. He doesn't care, he's just angry, it's always my fault no matter what. "No, actually it is a problem. You can't just decide when it is convenient for you to spend time with him."

"Landon, what are you talking about? Why is it that no matter what I do, it's never good enough for you? You always have something awful to say."

"Don't push this back on me Lilly, it was your actions that caused this."

"Fine, Jayden, if I'm not allowed at your house you're more welcome at mine any time you please."

I go to walk away because I know that Landon is not going to allow me to spend any time with Jayden. I'm not sure if it's pure jealousy, or maybe he just hates me. Then I feel a little hand come into mine. "Lilly, I'm sorry that my daddy is angry, it's my fault."

"It's not your fault it is mine nothing is your fault I shouldn't have ran off, but I did. I have reasoning behind it, but my reasoning doesn't matter to anyone."

"Lilly, it matters to me."

I squat down to his height, looking into his beautiful forest green. My eyes filled with tears, happy that I at least have him that really cares about me. "I'm so happy that I have you to care about me, I'm so lucky.

"I

I'm done trying to fight to be a part of anything. What is the point? Maybe I am just not meant to belong anywhere. There's never going to be a good time to talk to him about anything. He always judges for no reason, he doesn't really know me. The anger inside him is so full I'm not certain if it will ever go away. He pushes so much of that anger towards me. I tried to be OK with it, but sometimes it just hurts.

I know that I said that I would never leave Jayden. But I also said that I will not live in misery, I want to be happy. Once I figured out what I wanted, it was only taken. I don't want to walk away from Jayden, but what choice do I have?

I then let go of his little hand as tears began to fill my eyes. I attempt to walk back to my cabin, but then all of a sudden, a pain overcomes me. I scream out and fall to my knees, not knowing what is happening. My body feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I can feel my wolf howl inside my head as Star comes through "Lilly it is our mate he's going to die."