Life After the Storm

As I approached his door I go to knock. I became nervous. I was never nervous before. It's different now. I'm not afraid of Landon, it's just I'm hesitant because of what he has done to me. I should have stopped him, but I allowed it. I'm not sure if I am going to be able to just forget about it. I want to pretend that it never happened.

As the door opens I see that it is Jayden, His eyes go bright once he realizes it's me. I will say I like the excitement that I see in him When I approach him. To see how my appearance just gives him such joy. "Lilly, you're here I've been waiting for you all day it seemed like forever I was starting to worry that you might not come."

"Yes, it is really me it did seem like forever I missed you so much. I would never not show up for you."

As I scrunched down to his height I open my arms for a much-needed hug as he runs into my chest and my arms wrapped around him and I squeeze all I feel is comfort. Once our bodies connect, I feel more relaxed than I have in days. I have missed him so much, I'm grateful to finally see him.

I go to stand, and he grabs a hold of my hand, his little hand holds on to mine so tight like he is not allowing me to run away from him. Knowing I never would when I'm with him, it's also like I'm complete. As we run into the kitchen, I see Landon.

"Daddy she's here she finally got here."

"I see that buddy I told you that she would be here that you had nothing to worry about."

I try to stay calm, but his presence is making me feel uneasy. I'm not afraid of him, I think I'm more hurt. "So what are we having?"

Trying so hard to be pleasant, not wanting to spoil this time I have to spend with Jayden. Worried that if I angered him that he might not allow me to spend time with Jayden again.

Jayden looks at me with a big smile on his face "it's only going to be you and me Lilly daddy's actually going to serve us."

"What are we having?"

"The only thing that daddy knows how to make which is spaghetti."

Jayden lets out a laugh and I smile well. "It's a good thing that spaghetti is my favorite."

"Really, spaghetti is my favorite too."

Landon looks over to Jayden "Hey buddy why don't you take these plates into the dining room and go set the table for you and Lilly."

I go to help him but Landon grabs my hand "Lily could I please talk to you for a minute."

I hesitate, but I know he has something to say, and I want to hear it. As angry as I am at him or hurt, Not really sure which one it is yet. I want to hear what he has to say.

"About the other day I'm sorry I took everything out on you, I was jealous of the relationship that you and Jaden had built. In just these couple months and finding out things about Jayden, I blamed you. I'm sorry. I hope that you can find a way to forgive me, I didn't want to hurt you."

I can see the sorrow in his eyes, I can tell that he is truly sorry. I want to forgive him. I'm just not so sure if it's too soon, I don't want him to think that he is allowed to take advantage of me. "Landon, you hurt me. I want to forgive you, but please just give me some time."

"Take as much time as you need Lilly, you better get in, their dinner will be served soon."

As he smiles at me, I walk away from him hoping that I can get over what has happened. When I see Jayden waiting patiently I'm surprised I have never seen him so still. I go to sit down, Jayden jumps up and runs over to me "wait Lilly."

I stop dead in my tracks as he rushes over to me, I see him grab the chair, and he pulls it out for me to sit"ok Lilly now you can sit."

I smile "well thank you sir."

"Your welcome Lilly."

As Landon serves the food, I wait for us both to have some then I begin eating. I look over to see Jayden have spaghetti all over his face. I wonder what Landon is doing, even though I shouldn't care. I feel bad that he is eating alone when there is plenty of room for him to eat with us.

It is so quiet because of Jayden's mouth being so full of spaghetti. I don't think that he has ever been this quiet, I giggled. As I hear a sound, I look back into the kitchen, I see Landon eating. He looks up at me, I see the lust in his eyes knowing that he still desires me.

I can't help but crave him, also. Uncertain what effect he has on me that he can hurt me, but I still want to taste him. I can feel the room become warm imagining him touching me all over as I begin to get wet. I try to not lose control. I forget what I'm doing and where I'm at.

I'm reminded by Jayden yelling my name "Lilly Lilly Lilly hello why are you not listening to me."

"I look over Jayden oh I'm sorry I spaced out I didn't mean to."

"It's ok, how is your spaghetti?"

"Oh my god it is so good I love it the best spaghetti I have ever eaten."

I then began to think of Landon cooking the spaghetti naked. God, what is happening to me you need to snap out of it. When I go to look at him again he is not there. I'm sort of disappointed but I wonder why. I shouldn't care where he is or what he is doing, it is none of my business.

I look over at Jayden "wow this dinner was so special I really appreciate all the thought you put into it."

"Anything for you Lilly I miss you."

"I missed you too, why don't we have dinner together every Sunday that will be are day. Just ask your dad to make sure it is ok with him as well."

"Ok I can ask my daddy."

"Buddy, I got to go for now, but I will see you tomorrow it's getting late."

"But I wanted to watch a movie."

"We can tomorrow I promise I'm just so tired."

I need to get out of here. I can feel Star going crazy wanting to come out. She has been silent and all of a sudden she is now ready to talk. I'm so grateful I need her. I feel so much stronger with her, I have been feeling so incomplete without her hoping she will help me feel whole again.

"Jayden, is that ok?"

"I guess Lilly."

I feel bad for disappointing Jayden, but I need to go for a run. I'm going crazy. I need to allow Star to come out. I need to care about myself too, not just others. I'm important too.