novelxo Chapter 11
As I wake up, I am still in the same spot on his bed with his scent surrounding me. Tears fill my eyes that he just left me naked on the bed with blood on the sheets, blood in my inner thighs. I go to get up, I'm sore my body trembles as I go to stand. I'm not sure what to do or how to react, I just shift and take off out of the house. As I run I see others looking at me but I don't react I run the feeling that I once loved the most the wind blowing thru my fur is gone I feel nothing. I tell my wolf "I'm so sorry to disappoint you Star, but I can't do this any longer, I am not going back to him; I don't want to fight anymore it's time that I join my family." I block her out so she don't talk me out of it.
His mark will always be a reminder of him I just can't, I'm done I don't have any more reason to fight. I never thought that he would have done that to me, I know that I provoked him and he wanted to prove to me that he is the one in control. He still had no right to do what he did to me, still feeling the pain he caused me all over my body. No one will ever do this to me ever again. I am done with anyone trying to control any part of my life.
I push myself more than I have ever done before. I run as fast as I can knowing I can not be caught, not this time I'm disgusted with myself wondering why I was left to survive when I'm weak and pathetic. I began Wondering what I did so badly to deserve everything that has happened to me. With every twig that breaks from a distance, I become nervous knowing that he's chasing me. I don't want to go back to him; I don't want to be controlled.
He broke me; I was already broken, but he just finished the job. This life isn't what I asked for, I can't bear the pain any longer, I am exhausted from my life. I notice that I'm getting to the top of Wicked Falls there's nowhere else to go but to jump. Knowing there is no way of survival once I leave the edge not caring, wanting to be with my family again and escape the life that was chosen for me.
I then smell my mate not wanting him to capture me not wanting to go back to him a life that would be full of nothing but pain I look back at him in my wolf form I then shift to my human form and allow myself just fall backwards off the edge he pounces for me but he is to late he has no luck I am already falling. As I am falling, there is no fear. I feel free knowing that it's all about to come to an end, I'm not scared. I feel my body smashing into the water. It's not painful, it's not anything but a little confusing, not sure what is happening. It's almost like I feel like I am floating on a cloud to some unknown place.
I then see a familiar face and my eyes fill up with tears when I notice it is Landon, my brother. I am shocked and so happy at the same time he looks disappointed. I'm scared I am not sure if I can bear what he's about to say to me. I left him to die with my family. He probably hates me. I know I hate myself every day for what happened. One of the best days that is supposed to be about celebration is now a day of mourning the loss of everyone I loved. I am so scared to face him. What if he doesn't want anything to do with me? I freeze, not sure what to do I don't know how to face him.
"Lilly it's okay you don't have to be scared" I hear him say "I'm right here my sister."
"I'm so sorry Landon for letting you die I wanted to save you, but I couldn't get to you any of you."
"It's not your fault you did nothing wrong, everything happened the way it was supposed to."
"I'm so lost and alone my mate is a monster I have no one that cares for me."
"You will soon Lilly you are pregnant you are going to become a mother and have someone who loves you more than anything in this world."
"Landon I don't want to go back I don't want to survive I want to die."
"I'm sorry Lilly it's just not your time you have so much to do in your life. It has a lot of purpose. Your life is going to be extraordinary. Just believe in yourself." "I am marked by the Alpha, and pregnant he has gotten what he wanted his heir he will know that I am alive, how will I escape him without him finding me."
"Lilly you died, the mark was broken once your heart stopped beating you are free. You need to believe in yourself, stop all of this nonsense and start living. This baby is your family, a part of you." Landon starts fading away a yell out to him to come back to me, but he does not. I'm not sure of what is happening, everything is so strange. I don't feel alive, but I don't feel dead either. I don't feel anything I want to wake up, but I can't, I'm stuck sleeping. Knowing that my body was to exhausted from all I have been doing, not taking care of myself didn't help either. I just let go and let myself just rest knowing I'm safe with my brother watching over me, I have nothing that I need to worry about. It was an accident I was met to stay here without them, to do something extraordinary. I repeat what Landon told me over and over again trying to make myself believe in his words. Wondering even though my mark is broken by the Alpha of the Wicked Falls pack is he still my mate, or will I have a chance of happiness? None of that matters. I am going to find happiness no matter what. I survived for a reason: I'm done being a pathetic little wolf. I need to take advantage of being alive. I have no idea what my plan is, but I guess I will just have to figure it out as I go. I can feel my body healing from the fall I took when I jumped over Wicked Falls.
My wolf is helping me heal my body. It is slowly healing, but I'm healing that is all that matters. I just hope that no one from the Wicked Falls pack finds me before I'm fully healed, so I can get as far away as I possibly can. I know that it wasn't the smartest thing jumping over the falls, but I'm happy I did. I was weak, overtaken by grief with the loss of my family and my wicked mate. I needed to know that my family was ok and that they didn't hate or blame me for their death. A weight lifted off my shoulders I can breathe. I know it will not be easy, but now I have the will to survive.