Lie To Me Alpha

I cry rubbing my arms not knowing where I am right now. I don't even know what is going to happen to me.

Everything in my life was a lie, his love was a lie, my life is nothing but a lie and I can't even breathe anymore.

Every steps I take suffocates me. I badly wanted to breathe but everything is taking all of my energy. I sat under a tree trying to warm myself with eyes darting around me for any light to guide or even a soul to help me.

Gradually piece by piece I am losing all of me. Actually no I am already lost and alone with no one to turn to not even my grandma.

No definitely not her as I just don't want to give her a heart attack now. I hear leaves twixt and I turn to find Matteo and I shut my eyes refusing to look at him. I thought I already set things with him and others yet he still followed me.

"Addasah” I close my ears with my hands refusing to listen to his voice. Shaking my head no I refuse to listen or see him as my tears drops from my eyes.

I felt hands on my hands holding me in place and I cry out loud like a child in front of him.

I fell into his chest sobbing out then pushing him away. I ended up punching him but he never fell down as his hold tighten around me. The both of us now crying together in the middle of the woods. I didn't care what he thinks anymore but I just let every barriers and emotions I have been bottle up let go again.

He pull me back while I am still crying "shhhh" he tried to wipe them off but they just kept flowing from eyes nonstop.

"I" sob "love you" sob "that it's hurt so much" I sob between my words.2

Pushing away from him I stood up and shout at him with my tears never failing to stop

"Why? Why Matteo? Why not tell me now that all you do was for revenge and using me" I pointed to myself with anger.

"Would you believe me if I tell you everything?"

"I don't know Matteo, I have been giving you hints to tell me the truth through the past days but you never did... You lie to me.. Our love was base on a lie... Maybe my dad has ask you to hid it from me but somehow you should have told me. I mean it's been months now and yet you never did."1

I took deep breaths and there was silence between the two of us "yet by all means please I need to know, why did you hurt me like this?" I beg him through my tears.

"l will tell you and I know you already know some part of it but let me tell you my side of story.”

I could feel his emotions and the pain through his eyes "but after I tell mine please do what I tell you do because I know it's what you needed. But please remember that I have and will always and achingly love you my Addasah.”

He stood there for minutes not saying anything before he shook his head and repeated my question

"why?"

He took another two steps closer to me "I fell in love and was selfish to let you go." he began to explain everything to me.

"When we first met I thought I was in love with Quinn and I did selfish choices that even now I'm not so proud of.2

But know that the first time I said I love words to you at the park I meant but it just that I was afraid to admit it not until later on I realised that my words and feelings were not wrong. "

I try to control my tears but I just couldn't stop them as I listen in to him.

"The promises I made to you. I truly meant it. Four years I did waited for you to come back but nothing goes in my way. You see my father doesn't want us together and he did everything in his power to keep us apart,” he cried

"I was force to mate Quinn if not your parents died. So I did what I thought was right because I couldn't let you hate me forever if your parents died that night."1

He sniffle turning to the other side "I became rogue afterwards and I came back to challenge my father only to find out Quinn is carrying my pup” he pause clenching his fist tightly.

"I couldn't undo it and how I wish it wasn't mine unfortunately it was mine. I promise your parents we will tell you when you come back and I thought you wouldn't be there that night.

Taking responsibility for Jona I decide to make her my mate. I guess I wanted to play a perfect father since my family was all fuck up” he shook his head wiping off his tears.2

"Yet when you show up that night everything went awry. I couldn't do it anymore, I can never be that guy. I didn't want to hurt you which was pretty too late. As the damage was done and you were force to lose your memories.

When your father offer to keep the secret of you being compel. I took it because I wanted to live with you in those moments. I was selfish because I was fucking in love and I couldn't let go.”

My heart broke even more hearing his confession and I don't even know what to do anymore whether to stay or go away.

"Indeed, you have to know I did try to tell you. Can you recall any of the moments I try to but we're always interrupted and today I was about to confess everything that is why everyone was there but I guess I was too late for that too" he says in tears.

In that moment I thought back to all the times we were alone and the time he told me he wasn't a good person to me before. He fell in love with someone before he met me.

To think it over and over again he is right and I was always the one who says that everything is going to be okay, that I will always be there for him when the times comes.

Yet look at me, all the promises I made were nothing but just empty ones. Somehow this wasn't his entire fault some part was mine too. He did gave me hints and even told me some part of it but I too was selfish to be happy that I didn't even listen.5

Now the truth is out and I am more hurt than anyone because I did not listen.

"I'm sorry Addasah you have to live with my lies. I'm sorry for being chosen as your mate. I am really sorry for everything but do know that loving you was not a lie. Every moment we spent together was never a lie for me because I did truly love you with all of myself"

Taking a step closer to me he took my hands into his "I have done enough damage in your life Addasah, up until now I thought my choices were right only to realise late that nothing I did was right. It was all in my benefit while you were in the losing edge.”

I keep on sobbing and wanted to tell him that he wasn't selfish because actually I was happy with him during those times.

Matteo moves and caress my cheek "I love you and if you see and can never forgive me I understand and I'll stood by whatever you choose now. If your happiness is not with me, then move on and find someone better than me"

His eyes close and suddenly his hands withdrawn from mine then clenched them tightly showing his white knuckles. I could see that he is fighting his own battle whether to let me go or not.

So this is what he meant before he is going to let me go without fighting anymore. I guess maybe this is best for the both of us now.

It's actually what I wanted now and I thank him silently for doing this even though I could see the pain and hurt in his eyes.

I didn't even want him to fight for us now and I'm greatful for that because I can't take this pain and pretend everything will be alright now.

His tears slip out of his close eyes "please go" his voice broke “please” he sobs and I took slower steps back taking in all of him, picturing him in my mind.

I want to imprint him in my head one last time. I want to hold on to my memories of him, the mate that I will never have.

Each steps I takes becomes harder and harder. I couldn't even restraint myself from staying here with him with a last bit of my courage I turn around and started to run.

I heard him broke down there crying out but never utter my name and I know why he wouldn't scream it. He didn't want me to turn back and it broke my heart to hear his cries.

I run fast before I slow myself down and broke into more tears.

My hand went to my mouth trying to suppress it but I couldn't.

I fall on my knees crying out into the cold night.

I hear his howls and I sob even more beating on my heart.

This is us, there was no more us anymore.

The whole perfect loving mates as of tonight and for the rest of our lives it's just going to be pieces of us.