Just Like That (The Kings)

“You’re not fooling anyone behind those mirrored lenses. I can see you’re still staring.”

“Staring at what?” I lied, dragging my attention to Veda and trying my best to look innocent.

She hiked an eyebrow and stared at me over her own sunglasses. “More like who.”

Veda’s emerald-green eyes had flecks of gold like a cat, and it was unnerving the way she was always analyzing. “You’re staring at JP. Unless you’re actually staring at Royal, which I would totally understand.” She pushed the glasses up her nose and leaned back in the Adirondack chair with a soft exhale. “I’d still have to claw your eyes out, though.”

“I’m just keeping an eye on Teddy. He gets upset if his clothes get too dirty.” It wasn’t technically a lie. Though Teddy, Ben, and Tillie were currently chasing a three-legged dog and a duck around the barn, with Gus toddling behind them.

They were all dusty and giggling, so what the hell did I know?

“Mm-hmm,” Veda answered, clearly not believing my bullshit.

Sylvie had invited Teddy and me over to the farm for some late-season blueberry picking and a barbecue. Across the yard, Duke was operating the massive grill while Royal and JP appeared to be in a friendly but heated debate. Abel was on the outskirts, matching Duke’s grumpy energy as they pointed at the grill.

I shifted under Veda’s quiet assessment. She was sharp and seemed to have a built-in bullshit detector. It was pretty freaking obvious I was sneaking glances at her boss every other second.

Ever since he came on my tits, then I yelled at him, things had been weird.

Imagine that.

Not weird because I discovered there was a filthy mouth hidden beneath that buttoned-up suit, but because he was attentive.

Tender, even.

JP looked genuinely stricken when I confronted him about Olive’s letter, and I didn’t slow down for a second to hear him out. He’d been avoiding me for the past few days, and I couldn’t stand it. A large part of me wanted to give him another chance—to allow him to explain his side of the story, but after I told him I needed space, he gave it to me.

Sometimes it’s really freaking annoying to get what you asked for.

Instead of talking about it, I’d been wrestling with guilt over how intimate we’d been . . . so many lines had already been crossed. I knew better.

Olive had JP first, and I had no right to feel the way I did about him. Only, another part of me didn’t care and wanted more.

I wished I could crack open his skull and look around inside. Was he as torn up about it as I was? Did he think of me and wish it were different?

I shifted and looked at Veda. Maybe I couldn’t peek inside JP’s head, but she spent a lot of time with the man. Maybe she had some insight into what made him tick.

“Truth?” I glanced around, making sure no curious ears were around to overhear me. I leaned toward Veda. “Things have gotten . . . complicated with JP.”

Her jaw set with a tiny nod, but she didn’t look my way. “Aren’t they always with this family?”

I inhaled, gathering my courage. “We’ve fooled around . . . more than once.”

Her dark eyebrows popped up as her head turned. “I see.” She was quiet for a moment, then shrugged. “Teddy’s enamored with him. You are two consenting adults. What’s the problem?”

My jaw dropped. “The problem,” I hissed, desperately trying to keep my voice low, “is that he was involved with my sister—my dead sister—and is very likely Teddy’s biological father.”

“But that was only once, right? It’s not like they had some long-standing relationship. Sure, it might seem a little odd to some, but it was a long time ago.”

I didn’t like how logical she was thinking. I toyed with my lower lip. She couldn’t possibly understand the hours of self-shaming I’d been putting myself through. My entire life I’d been the emotional, reckless, impulsive sister that made rash decisions and simply hoped for the best.

Now I was expected to be the responsible one, and I was royally fucking it up.

Veda looked at me again. “You know, in business, when something is no longer working, you cut your losses. So whatever mental gymnastics you’re putting yourself through, ask yourself if it’s working. Sometimes it’s best to analyze the situation from a different angle and see if it’s worth continuing.”

I stared at the woman beside me. She was so self-assured. So confident.

She was also absolutely correct. I was having a hard time even understanding my own feelings, let alone trying to figure out what was rolling around in JP’s head and what it all might mean.

I needed some clarity—to step back and breathe for a minute.

“What do you suggest?” I asked.

Her painted lips spread into a grin. “Well, that depends. When it comes to sex, sometimes men need a little incentive to get their feelings on board.” Her finger tapped her lower lip. “Are we talking about a little prodding or a heartless scourge of misery?”

I blinked in her direction. “Um . . . maybe the first one?”

Her lips twisted. “Pity. From what I can tell JP walks an unbothered, rigid line. He might benefit from a little bothering.” She waggled her eyebrows and shifted in her seat. “There’s always the option of untangling your feelings while getting tangled up in someone else.”

“Oh.” I sputtered an uncomfortable laugh. “I don’t know about that.”

“Here’s the thing.” She leaned in and I mirrored her movement. “I don’t really know you or the situation well, but I do know him. My opinion is that you need to harness your feminine energy. Stop waiting around for clarity. Live your life. Certainly don’t wait around for him to wake up and see what’s right in front of him.”

Veda leaned back, stretching her long legs in front of her, and tipped her face toward the slanted light of the afternoon sun. A sharp catcall whistle drew our attention, and she raised her sunglasses to see Royal smirking in her direction. When their eyes met, he grinned and lifted his chin.

“Trust me.” She smiled and placed the dark glasses back on her face. “The worst thing you can be for a man is convenient.”

I smiled and looked out across the yard as the men milled around. Duke had his son propped on his hip with the dog and duck at his heels. JP was jostling a giggling Teddy upside down while Royal and Abel drank their beers and watched Ben and Tillie weave between nearby blueberry bushes.

“Live my life.” I repeated her words like a mantra.

I’d never had a problem marching to my own drum and living my life out loud, but it was oddly comforting to have the reassurance from someone who had her shit so completely together.

Behind us, Sloane and Sylvie walked down the stairs with a pitcher of lemonade and cups. MJ followed with a tray of fresh fruit. We smiled and shared a greeting, and I accepted the tall glass of lemonade that Sylvie handed me.

She smiled. “There’s blueberry infused vodka in that one.”

My eyes widened and I raised it in cheers. “In that case, I’ll have a double.” I took a healthy sip while Sloane cackled and sat in the chair beside me.

Together, we made a semicircle that looked out onto the expanse of Sullivan Farms. Past the barn, the fields of blueberry bushes rolled out as far as I could see. Trees lined the property in the distance, but I had learned that just beyond it sat Wabash Lake.

My heart squeezed. “How’s everyone holding up? You know . . . after.”

Sylvie’s features went soft. “We’re getting by. The forensic divers collected all of the evidence they could. The DNR is allowing us to do some kind of memorial for her—maybe a bench or an etched boulder or something nice.” She shrugged.

I reached for her hand and squeezed.

Sylvie was strong. Resilient, even through repeated heartbreak.

She smiled at me and sipped her lemonade. “There’s a small family cemetery on the property where she can be laid to rest. We’re going to do a celebration-of-life ceremony here. You should come.”

“Oh, I—” The women all looked at me like it was the simplest thing in the world for me to be included. “Um, thanks.”

“How are things going with JP and Teddy?” Sloane asked, and Veda gave me a sly, knowing look.

“It’s been okay,” I admitted. “He works a ton, so Teddy and I have been spending our days at the beach or shopping for new school clothes. He’s convinced he’ll single-handedly bring bow ties back into fashion. Sometimes JP’s home for dinner, but even then he mostly talks to Teddy. He avoids looking at me until he grumbles good night and almost always wants to tuck Teddy into bed, so I let him.”

Sylvie and Sloane clucked and exhaled twin awwwws.

It was cathartic to get everything off my chest. I missed having girlfriends to talk to. I exhaled and continued, “He doesn’t let me pay for anything . . . he just leaves stacks of bills everywhere with notes like School supplies are expensive or Get something nice for the both of you. It’s . . . really odd.”

“That’s kind of sweet and thoughtful.” MJ chuckled and shrugged. “In his own kind of JP way, at least.”

I scrunched my nose. “Is it?” I was having a hard enough time wrapping my head around the hot-and-cold routine to know for sure.

“I would greatly accept male affection in the form of cash.” MJ raised her palms and closed her eyes like she was waiting for her mystery man to descend from the sky.

“You know what we need? We need to go out, no kids,” Sylvie announced. “Duke’s been a bear lately too. Maybe something ridiculous and fun—a way to celebrate the summer coming to an end.” She winked at MJ. “Find that millionaire mystery man of yours.”

Veda raised her cup. “I already have my man. No kids, but I’m in.”

Sylvie’s eyes lit up. “I have the perfect idea! I saw this thing on social media where you get a group together and shop at a thrift store or charity shop for your date-night outfits. Everyone has to pick clothes for someone else. There’s a set budget, and you have to wear whatever someone chooses for you.”

It was utterly ridiculous and I was immediately excited.

Sylvie had her phone out to check her calendar. “Saturday?”

Sloane laughed. “I can tell you right now that Abel would rather cover himself in fire ants. Plus, I have a weird thing about musty clothes.” She shook in an exaggerated shiver. “How about I have the kids over for the night? A last hurrah before they start school.”

I glanced at Teddy, who was holding hands with Gus and helping him reach blueberries. “Are you sure you can handle all of them overnight?”

Sloane waved a hand in the air. “Piece of cake.”

I looked at MJ. “Want to be my date?”

Her eyebrows bounced playfully. “Only if you put out.”

We all laughed and my gaze shifted to JP. He was such a stick-in-the-mud. I couldn’t even imagine a world in which he’d agree to something fun like a thrift store date. It was a good thing the rest of his family knew how to have a good time.

Planning wasn’t my strong suit, but the rest of the women had that down pat. I could just go with the flow, like I’d always done. Being the flighty one meant never having to let someone down when you didn’t meet their expectations.

My eyes found JP.

It was impossible to let someone down when they never expected much from you in the first place.

I finished my vodka lemonade in one last gulp and swallowed down my complicated feelings along with it.