novelxo Irresistible: Chapter 24
“Jesus,” he whispered, looking almost frightened. “That was so fucking intense.”
I smiled and wiped my lower lip with the back of one wrist.
Suddenly he reached down, grabbed me beneath the arms and hoisted me onto the desk in front of him. “Are you okay?”
“More than okay. I loved it. I’m all hot and bothered right now.”
His jaw dropped for a second. “You’re telling me doing that turned you on?”
I shrugged, giving him a shy smile. “Yes. I like hearing you. And feeling you. And being able to give you all of my attention without any distractions. Usually when you come, I do too, and I’m too carried away to focus on you.”
“I happen to like when you get carried away,” he said, reaching for the button on my pants. “So now I think it’s my turn to give you all of my attention without any distractions.”
“Mack, no! You’re supposed to be catching up on work.” I tried to push his hands away, but instead he succeeded in tipping me backward by the shoulders so I was on my back, legs dangling off the desk.
“Fuck work.” He removed my shoes, and grabbed my pants, yanking them all the way off, along with my underwear.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “And it’s late. Won’t Mrs. Ingersoll be expecting you?”
“Fuck Mrs. Ingersoll.” He dropped to his knees and threw my legs over his shoulders.
“But … what about … the kids …” And then I couldn’t talk anymore, because his tongue was doing things that took away my ability to form coherent thoughts.
After a few long, slow strokes up my center and several seconds of soft, swirling circles over my clit, he picked up his head. “I’m not thinking about the kids right now. And I don’t want to. I spend all day every day doing things for them, and I will for the rest of my life. But right now, it’s about what I want. And that is to bury my face in your pussy and make you come with my tongue. Then I’d like to fuck you on my desk. Does that work for you?”
“Uh. Yes,” I said, my body already wet and aching for him.
“Good. After that, I will go back to being a responsible person.” He returned to what he’d been doing before, but this time, he slid one long finger inside me as well.
“You will?” I asked weakly, my eyes popping at the sight of his dark hair between my thighs.
“Maybe.” He looked up and pushed two fingers in this time, his breath hot and quick on my tingling skin. “I’m not too good at keeping promises.”
After checking that the coast was clear, he walked me up to my apartment—the back way, so we didn’t have to go through the lobby. My mother was still at the desk, and he wanted to avoid her.
“I’m telling you, she is fine with us,” I said as we climbed the stairs. “She asked me over the weekend if there was something going on.”
“What did you say?”
“I said we were taking it slow for the sake of the kids, but that we’ve been getting to know each other better. She said that was smart.”
He tucked his hands in his pockets. “My mother reacted a little differently.”
I stopped halfway up the staircase. “You told her?”
“No, but when she called on Sunday night, she sort of suspected, based on how much the girls talked about you. Then she asked a bunch of questions, and my answers must have made it even more obvious.”
Moving slowly, I resumed going up the steps. “So what did she say?”
“Just a bunch of things that I already knew.”
“Like what?”
He shrugged as we reached the landing. “Mostly that I need to be careful.”
I felt like there was a lot more he wasn’t saying, but I didn’t want to push. From the look on his face, it was clear he wasn’t happy about the conversation. “Well, I definitely think you’re being careful.” Then I winced. “Although Winnie did catch us in the closet. And Millie might have seen us in the kitchen.”
His frown deepened. “Yeah.”
“We’ve probably gotten a little careless. We can do better.”
“I wish we didn’t have to worry about it. But that conversation with her has been eating at me this week. She made me feel guilty—well, guiltier—about what we’re doing.”
“Moms are good at that. They know exactly how to push our buttons.”
“It’s not fair to you.” He shook his head. “What the fuck are you doing with me? You’ve got so much to give and I’ve got nothing.”
He looked so upset, I grabbed him in a hug. “Hey. That’s not true. We knew this would be tricky at the start, but we’re making it work.”
“My ex called on Sunday too.”
I stiffened. “She did?”
“Yeah. She knows about us too.”
“You told her?” Surprised, I released him and stepped back.
He shook his head. “No. She made the accusation based on how much Millie was texting about you. I didn’t deny it.”
“You didn’t?” I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or not. It seemed like a step in the right direction, but he looked upset about it.
“No. But maybe I should have. I don’t know.” He rubbed his face with both hands.
I swallowed hard. “Well … what did she say?”
“A lot of ugly shit about me, which I don’t care about, but then she threatened never to visit the kids again. Which would be fine with me, but she’ll find a way to twist everything so it’s my fault the kids don’t have a relationship with their mother.”
“Oh, Mack.” I twisted my fingers together at my waist. Clearly this had been weighing on him for days. “I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged. “Because this isn’t your problem. I don’t want you to have to deal with my hostile ex-wife. Hell, I don’t want to deal with her. But I have to. I’ll always have to, because she’s my kids’ mom. That will never change. And neither will she.”
I could see him getting more and more worked up, and I put my arms around him again. “Hey. It’s okay.”
“It’s not. And it’s just one more reason why you should walk away from me and find someone easier to be with.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Mack. You know that, right?”
His arms came around me, warm and tight and strong, which was reassuring.
But he said nothing, which was not.
On Thursday, April came by the desk during my morning shift. “Hey, I’m meeting with Stella Devine tonight at six to go over some details. Want to join us?”
“Sure. Your office?”
“Bar, actually.”
I nodded. “I’ll meet you there.”
My shift ended at five, and I ran upstairs to change out of my work clothes and grab a bite to eat. At six, I went down to the bar, where April, Stella, and her sister Emme were sitting at a rectangular high-top table. Stella and Emme both had glasses of sparkling wine, and their faces were glowing after their day at the spa.
We went over the details and timing from the rehearsal dinner all the way through the late-night pizza buffet at the reception. Stella was an easygoing bride, and between Emme and April, the plans were so well organized that it seemed impossible anything could go wrong. At quarter to seven, they went up to change for their girls’ night out, and April and I lingered at the table.
“Whew, we’re off duty for the night,” my sister said. “Want a glass of wine?”
I nodded. “I’d love one.”
We moved to the bar so we weren’t taking up a table for four and ordered two glasses of pinot noir.
“So how are things?” she asked with a smile. “I’ve been getting an earful from Mom about your big plans, but we haven’t had a chance to talk.”
“Things with that are great, actually.” I filled her in on all the details. “Dad and I are going to meet with Natalie Haas next week about the financing, and I pretty much gave Mom my notice. Week after next, I’ll be at Coffee Darling full time.”
“That’s so awesome. I remember Natalie Nixon from school, although she’s a little younger than me. That whole family is nice.”
“Mack said he went to school with her sister Jillian.”
April nodded. “I graduated with the middle sister, Skylar. She works at Abelard Vineyards now, and I think Chloe knows her pretty well.” She sipped her wine. “Speaking of Mack, how are things with you two?”
“Pretty good, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Well, it’s kind of hard to tell. When we’re alone, it’s amazing. Actually, even when the kids are around, it’s amazing. He’s sweet and funny and he’s so flipping hot, I can’t stand it. The sex is unreal.”
“But …” she prompted.
I took a breath. “But it’s difficult. I feel bad for even saying this out loud, but trying to date a full-time single dad with three kids and keep it from them is tough—especially when you’re the nanny. Twice now the kids have walked in on us kissing in the house.”
April gasped. “What did they say?”
I had to laugh a little, remembering the looks on their faces. “Nothing really, but it’s obvious they’re confused. Kids are smart. They have to sense something is up.”
“Why doesn’t he want to tell them?”
“Well, when it first started, we agreed to keep it to ourselves because it was so new. But I don’t think we realized how quickly things were going to progress—I know I didn’t. I just hope he feels what I feel. I’m nervous he doesn’t.”
“Because he won’t tell the kids?”
“No, I get that, but the other night he said this thing that I can’t get out of my head. He said he worries about what will happen when I realize he’s not worth the shit I’ll have to put up with. He said, ‘You’ll leave, because you know you deserve better. And I’ll have to let you, because I’ll know it too.’”
April’s eyebrows rose. “Damn. What did you say?”
“I told him I’d prove him wrong.” I sighed despairingly. “And I hope he gives me time to do that, but what if he decides I’m not worth all the sneaking around and feeling bad? He told me last night that his mother was suspicious something was going on with us and lectured him about it.” I shook my head. “He warned me this was going to be tough, and he was right … but he’s worth it, April. I feel this down deep. I don’t want to give up.”
She reached over and rubbed my arm. “You want my advice? Just give it time. It’s only been a few weeks, and he’s probably still got a bad taste in his mouth about relationships because of his history. Divorce is really hard—it messes with your head. He’s trying to protect his kids, maybe even himself.”
“Himself?”
She shrugged. “Sure. Love is scary. You have to wear your heart outside your chest. He did that once and got burned.”
I closed my eyes. “God, that’s exactly it. It does feel like I’m wearing my heart outside my chest with him. Like my chest isn’t even big enough to hold it. But even though it feels huge, it feels fragile too.”
Her lips curved into a smile. “Congratulations, little sister. You’re in love.”