Indiscretion

“This place is amazing.” I looked around Ben and Lily’s living room. “I can’t believe you’ve only been here a few weeks.”

“Ben’s sister is an interior designer, and she picked out all the accessories, like the throw pillows and window treatments,” Lily explained. “I love the way it came out, but don’t go upstairs to the bedrooms because those look worse than a guy’s freshman dorm. Even with Daria’s discount, it’s a fortune, so we’ve only done the downstairs so far.”

Two days after Ben and Lily returned from their honeymoon, they’d moved from a tiny apartment on the Upper East Side to a brownstone they bought in Brooklyn Heights. A few weeks later, they were already throwing a housewarming party.

“Grab the cutting board out of that cabinet for me, please.” Lily pointed. “I still have to cut up the cheeses, make the salad, and—shoot, I didn’t preheat the oven for the appetizers. People are going to start showing up any minute. Oh, and I can’t forget to chop up the stupid coconut for Dawson.”

“Dawson’s coming?”

Lily frowned. “Yeah. I’m sorry if that bothers you. He’s Ben’s best friend, so I really didn’t have a choice.”

“Yeah, of course.” I’d assumed Dawson would be invited, but hearing confirmation that I was going to see him made me a little nervous. Though I had no real reason to be. “It’s fine.”

“I still think he’s a jerk for not hiring you.”

I sighed. “I really can’t blame him.”

Lily grabbed a coconut from the counter behind her and took out a big knife.

“What’s with that guy and coconuts?” I asked. “He brought a big bag of shredded coconut with him to Michigan for your wedding.”

“He’s oddly obsessed with it. He chops up a fresh one every day and makes his own coconut water. If you want his attention, just rub one on your hands. I swear, he’ll salivate like Pavlov.”

I chuckled. “I’m pretty sure Pavlov was the scientist, not the dog. And I think I’ll pass on rubbing anything on myself for that man. Though I will take care of cutting up that coconut and everything else you need chopped. You do whatever else you need to do.”

“You sure you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

Lily ran around the house straightening things. When she was done, we worked side by side, prepping the serving trays with everything I’d cut up.

“Any luck on your interviews?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Maybe I should change careers and get out of law completely, become a nurse or something.”

“You passed out when I sliced my finger open that time we volunteered for a beach cleanup.”

“True. Maybe a teacher? Summers off sounds good.”

Lily sighed. “Yes, but you love working in law.”

“You know what I love more?”

“What?”

“Being able to eat. The legal fees after everything happened really depleted what I’d put away. Even staying on my sister’s couch, my savings isn’t going to last much longer. And I’ll need to find my own place to live at some point—maybe sooner than later because on the way here I found myself humming Barry Manilow, and the other day I realized I know all the words to a Neil Diamond song.”

Lily laughed. “Your sister has the worst taste in music. How is she feeling?”

“Tired. Treatments really take a lot out of her. But she’s holding her own and still going to work and stuff.”

Ben came down from upstairs looking freshly showered. He kissed Lily’s forehead and walked over to rub my shoulders while I chopped.

“Are you still mad at me?”

It was the first time we’d spoken since I’d called to ream him out from the sidewalk outside Dawson’s office last week.

“I should be, but no. I get that you were only trying to help.”

Ben kissed the top of my head. “He’s an idiot for not jumping on the chance to hire you.”

I smiled sadly. “I was just telling Lily, I’m thinking of going back to school and changing careers completely. If a criminal defense attorney won’t hire me—people who represent criminals for a living—then no one is going to hire me.”

“You’ll find something.”

The first guest rang the doorbell, so it brought our conversation to an end, and I was grateful. Lately, that felt like the only thing people asked me about. Any luck on your interview? Did you find a job yet? When I said no, they’d smile and tell me something would pop up. They meant well. I knew that. But I wanted a few hours to pretend I had something more going on in my life.

Half an hour later, there were twenty or so people mingling in Ben and Lily’s kitchen and living room. One particular man hadn’t arrived yet, and my eyes kept finding their way to the front door every time it opened. A glass of wine and another half hour helped me relax, and eventually I started to wonder if Dawson was going to show up. At least until the front door opened and a certain gorgeous attorney walked in—with an equally gorgeous woman who looked barely old enough to drink.

My stomach dropped. Ugh. It was bad enough that he didn’t want to hire me; now I had to see him with a date. I attempted to ignore him and keep myself engaged in my conversation with a coworker of Lily’s, but my eyes had a mind of their own. And the second time they wandered where they didn’t belong, they met Dawson’s.

Ben walked over and handed him a beer, passing his date a glass of wine. Dawson kept his eyes trained on me the entire time. He tipped his Coors bottle toward me, and I forced my eyes back to the woman currently talking about…something.

A little while later I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, I walked straight into someone waiting in the narrow hall.

“God, I’m so sor…” My voice trailed off, and I frowned. “Oh. It’s just you.”

Dawson lifted a brow. “Does that mean you aren’t sorry?”

“You should really stop startling people. Though I guess it’s easy for you to forget what can happen now that your eye is healed…”

Dawson looked down at my hand. “Still have the cast on, huh?”

“It comes off this Friday, hopefully.”

A guy I hadn’t met yet came down the hall. He pointed to the door behind me. “Are you waiting for the bathroom?”

“I just finished.” I gestured to Dawson. “But he is.”

“What’s up, Jake?” Dawson lifted his chin. “It’s all yours. I don’t need to use the bathroom.”

“Great, thanks.” The guy nodded to me as he passed.

Once the door was locked, I looked to Dawson. “So you were just standing in front of the bathroom for fun?”

His lip twitched. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“I feel bad about the way I acted when you came into the office last week.”

“How do you think you acted?”

“I might’ve come off as rude because I was caught off guard, as I didn’t know Ben had told you to come in for an interview.”

“I didn’t really notice. I guess that just seems like your general personality to me.”

Dawson cracked a smile. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

We stood looking at each other for a few uncomfortable seconds. Dawson stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Did you find anything yet?”

“You mean a job?”

He nodded.

“Believe it or not, the market for disbarred attorneys is pretty bleak these days.”

Dawson frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“How about you? Find a new paralegal yet?”

“No. And at the risk of sounding like my grandfather, what the hell is wrong with the young people today? Every person who walks in expects to work from home and get more vacation and sick time than I do. I’m starting to think I’ll never find someone competent.”

I had to force a smile, because inside I was thinking, I’m competent. But whatever. I couldn’t blame people for not wanting to hire a person who’d had her license revoked. This was the bed I’d made.

I looked over Dawson’s handsome face once more. “I should get back to the party.”

“Sure. Yeah.” He nodded. “Good to see you.”

***

“I’ll text you tomorrow,” Lily said as she walked me to the door a little while later. “I got a lead on someone who needs a new paralegal today. Did you meet Nick? He’s the one Ben plays basketball with on Saturday mornings.”

“I think so?”

“Well, he mentioned he hasn’t played the last two Saturdays because his stepmother died.”

“Okay…”

“His father is an attorney, and his wife was his paralegal.”

My eyes widened. “What are you going to do? Call his dad and say, I’m sorry for your loss, but here’s someone to sit in the chair that’s still warm in your office?”

“Of course not!”

“Thank God.”

“I’m going to stop by basketball practice tomorrow morning and bring your resume to Nick. It’ll go over better with him pitching you to his father than a stranger.”

I sighed. “I’m not that desperate yet.”

“I know. But I hate seeing you so down. That reminds me, you didn’t look so glum when I saw you talking to Dawson in the hallway earlier. There’s something there. I can tell.”

“We spoke for less than five minutes, and then he spent most of the evening next to his date.”

“His date?” Lily laughed. “That’s Dawson’s little sister. She’s nineteen. Sarah’s in town visiting, and he asked if he could bring her.”

“Oh.” I hated that I felt instantly lighter knowing that.

She grinned and pointed to my face. “You like him. Your face was tense all day. I thought it was because you didn’t know anyone here. But your forehead smoothed out the minute I said the beautiful woman wasn’t Dawson’s date.”

“You’re insane.”

Lily stared at my forehead. “Nope. It’s like you just got Botox. The worry is completely gone. Why don’t you stay longer? When Dawson left, he said he was going to try to come back. His sister is in town to see a concert with her college roommate at the Barclay Center. He went to make sure they got there safely.”

“The first time we met, I wound up with a broken hand. The second time, he passed me over for a position. Sticking around for a third round might make me a masochist.” I kissed my friend’s cheek. “Go back to your company and be the hostess with the mostest. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I’d made it to the bottom of the front steps when I spotted Dawson on the sidewalk two houses down. My steps faltered.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” He rounded the corner into the front courtyard.

“I can only do small talk with strangers for so long before I turn into a pumpkin.”

Dawson smiled. “I’m the same way.”

I tilted my head. “Yet here you are back for more?”

Dawson met my eyes. “I actually came back to see you.”

My traitorous heart fluttered. “What for?”

“I owe you an explanation.” He looked up at the door to Ben and Lily’s, then looked down the sidewalk. “Would you want to grab a drink? There’s a shitty little bar down the block.”

“Wow. A shitty little bar? How can I refuse that offer?”

Dawson chuckled. “I’ll throw in some shitty free peanuts.”

I nibbled on my bottom lip. I didn’t have anything to rush home to, but I wasn’t big on getting rejected multiple times.

“I should get going. This was my first time taking the subway to Brooklyn, and I don’t want to be riding back to the City on the train too late.”

“Just one drink. And I’ll get you an Uber home.”

I’d probably regret it in a few hours, but who could say no to a free Uber? Plus, I was curious what he wanted to talk about. “Okay. Why not?”

Dawson put his hand on my lower back. “Excellent. This way.”

***

“You really described this place well,” I told him.

“What did I say?”

“You called it shitty.”

Dawson laughed. “Why don’t you grab us a table, and I’ll get our drinks?” He looked around the almost completely empty bar. “They’re filling up fast.”

I smiled. “Sounds good.”

“What are you drinking?”

“I’ll have a glass of merlot, please.”

“You got it.”

Sliding into a booth, I had a straight-line view of Dawson from the side. He was leaning with elbows bent on the bar, talking to the old man standing behind it. I couldn’t help but notice the way the fabric of his T-shirt stretched around the flex of his biceps. It had taken me the better part of a week to forget what that man’s muscles looked like after the fiasco at the cabin. I suddenly wished I hadn’t chitchatted with Lily at the door and had left five minutes earlier. I’d be on the subway home now instead of rekindling my lust affair with that body.

Dawson carried our drinks to the table and slid in across from me.

“Thank you.” I sipped. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“When we spoke earlier, you asked if I’d hired someone yet, and I said something like there’s no one competent out there. I saw your face when I said it, and I realized you thought I was including you in that category. I want to apologize because I wasn’t.”

I shook my head. “I actually didn’t think that. I assumed I wasn’t in consideration because of my disbarment.”

Dawson nodded, but his face didn’t indicate agreement.

“Was…that the reason you weren’t interested in hiring me?”

Our eyes met. I could see the wheels in his head spinning. Eventually he hung his head and looked down. “Not completely. It did give me pause that day, but I’ve thought about it a lot the last week—more than I should’ve—and it’s not the main reason.”

“What is the main reason then?”

“You want the truth?”

“No, definitely not. I really enjoy being lied to. It’s why I loved working as a lawyer.”

Dawson stayed quiet for a long moment before lifting his gaze to mine. “I think you’re really beautiful.”

I blinked. That was the last thing I’d expected him to say. “So…you only work with ugly women?”

“Honestly, I’d prefer that. But no, I’ve worked with beautiful women before. And it hasn’t ended well for me.”

“You mean like Emily?”

He nodded. “Sadly, she’s not the first time I did something stupid like that.”

“Did you sleep with your receptionist, too?” I teased. “Ben mentioned something about her being in her sixties with a nasally voice?”

Dawson smirked. “Wiseass. She’s not my type. I have a thing for blondes.”

I didn’t bother to point out that Emily was a brunette. “Can we back up a minute? Let me see if I have this straight. You think I’m beautiful, and ergo, that means if I were to work in your office, I would wind up sleeping with you and wanting to have your babies?”

“It almost happened already.”

“You mean after the wedding, in the cabin?”

He nodded.

“I was drunk, and we were at a wedding. Romance was in the air. Unlike you, I think I can control myself at work.”

Dawson raised a brow. “You sure about that?”

My stomach sank. “Ben told you?”

Dawson shook his head. “Anytime I ask anything about you, he tells me it’s your story to tell.”

“Ben is such a loyal guy.” I smiled sadly. “How do you know then?”

“I was curious after you left, so I googled you. It said you pleaded no contest to assaulting someone you’d prosecuted. After that I figured Ben was right, and it was your story to tell.” Dawson sipped his beer. “I’d like to hear it, if you’re up for sharing…”

“It’s not a pleasant story. Nothing about Darius Flint is pleasant.”

“I can handle it. I deal with horrible all day, every day.”

I sighed. “A nurse at an independent living facility for developmentally disabled young adults reported that she suspected a sixteen-year-old was being abused by her uncle.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah. It was a heartbreaking case. Lizzie was born at six-and-a-half months to an alcoholic mom. The mother contracted rubella while she was pregnant, and the infection spread to the baby, causing some severe physical and mental issues. Lizzie’s mother died of liver failure when she was less than a year old. The only person who ever visited her was her uncle. He was her legal guardian, and the state had physical custody. It was a difficult case because Lizzie couldn’t speak. But when I interviewed her, she was able to point to the places her uncle had touched her.”

“Why didn’t the jury convict?”

“Because the piece of shit was not only a pedophile and rapist, he was smart. Unfortunately, smarter than I realized. Lizzie loved routine and was really good at memorizing dances and stuff that she saw on YouTube. Unbeknownst to anyone, her uncle had taught her the ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes’ song, except he had her point to all the places he’d touched her. So after I got through having Lizzie show the jury all the places her uncle had abused her, the defense pulled out a boom box and blasted that song. Lizzie immediately started pointing to the same places while she smiled and danced.”

“Holy shit.”

I nodded. “It completely invalidated that Lizzie was reliable to testify. Couple that with having a judge who wouldn’t let me bring in two prior accusations of child molestation that were never prosecuted—one from a nine-year-old niece and the other from a teen neighbor. He thought it would be too prejudicial. And our physical evidence was thrown out because of a technicality on the search. So the jury just didn’t see the same picture we all did.”

“That’s awful.”

“We had her body fluids on the sleeve of his shirt. There’s no way he didn’t do it.”

“So how did you get into it with him?”

“I kept visiting Lizzie after the trial was over. I’m describing all these developmental issues, but she still understood so much. And she loved having visitors. She would light up. I really enjoyed my time with her. We learned some TikTok dances together.” I smiled, thinking of how she would laugh when I played back whatever we’d recorded. “Anyway, long story short, a few months after the trial was over, I went to visit her one day, and one of the nurses told me Lizzie was leaving. Her uncle had decided to take her out of the assisted-living facility she’d spent her entire life in and take her home with him.”

“How the fuck can that happen?”

“I have no damn clue. I filed a petition with the court to stop it, but the uncle’s attorney pegged me as a disgruntled prosecutor. Lizzie’s case was the first trial I’d ever lost. And since he was found not guilty, in this judge’s eyes, the man was innocent. I argued that there was a difference between not guilty and innocent, but he allowed it anyway.”

“What a shit show.”

I nodded. “Anyway, to cut to the end of the story, the afternoon the judge handed down his decision, I was beside myself. I knew I couldn’t see that pedophile in the hallway or get stuck riding in the same elevator as him, so I went to the ladies’ room in the courthouse, where I broke down and had a good cry. It was already late in the day, so not long after, one of the court officers popped her head in to tell me they were locking up. The halls were pretty much empty on the third floor of the courthouse—or so I thought, until I rounded the turn that led to the staircase and found Mr. Flint standing there. He smiled as he told me how he couldn’t wait to have Lizzie all to himself in his bed every night. I snapped and pushed him. He lost his balance and fell down the marble stairs. He wound up breaking his neck and is permanently paralyzed from the neck down. The courthouse is filled with cameras, so the entire thing is, of course, on video. I had no defense other than he was a piece of shit, so I took a plea deal on the assault charge and consented to the disbarment to put it behind me.”

“Christ, Naomi. That’s a big price you’re paying for a guy who had it coming.”

I shrugged. “Some good came out of it. He can’t touch Lizzie anymore.”

“I don’t know many people who would have done anything different in your shoes. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

I nodded. “Thank you.” We were both quiet for a moment. Eventually, it was me who spoke. “Can I ask you something personal now?”

He gave a curt nod. “Of course. It’s about eight inches, eight and a half on a good day.”

I chuckled. “No, seriously. How do you represent criminals for a living?”

He looked at his half-empty beer. “I’m going to need another one of these if we’re swapping war stories like this.”

“How about this round is on me? You deserve it after sitting through my depressing story.”

Dawson smiled. “Not so fast. You haven’t heard mine yet.”