Indiscretion

I smiled seeing Naomi’s name on my cell phone screen on Sunday morning. She was always a welcome distraction, but today more so than usual. I’d been at the office since five AM working on a brief to support a client I wholeheartedly despised.

“Don’t tell me you just got up?” I asked in greeting.

“Five oh two!” Naomi screamed. “Five oh two! Day three!”

I sat back in my chair. I could see her excited face even though we weren’t on FaceTime. “Wow. Your sister’s a real overachiever. The doctor said it could take up to a month for her neutrophil count to stay over five hundred for three days in a row.”

“Yep. Which means the kids can finally see her.”

“Did you tell them yet?”

“I might’ve accidentally woken them up when she called to tell me at nine o’clock. I got so excited, I screamed.”

It was eleven days post bone-marrow transplant, and kids under twelve weren’t allowed to visit until the patient’s health achieved certain milestones. Getting a blood marker over a certain amount for three days in a row was the first big one. Luckily, these days there was video calling, which made the time apart a little easier, but I knew Ryder and Molly would sleep better once they got to see their mom in person. Even though Frannie looked and sounded good over FaceTime, the kids still asked a ton of questions whenever I watched them. Which was often lately, since Naomi went up to the hospital every night.

“I’m sure they’re excited. Molly did a fashion show for me yesterday. She was deciding which outfit to wear to visit her mom when she was allowed. All of them were yellow, because that’s the color of happiness.”

I shook my head. “Can’t imagine where she learned that.”

“She’s already dressed and ready even though she can’t visit for two more hours.”

I smiled. “I’m glad for all of you that your sister is doing well.”

“And for you. I can’t thank you enough for all of the babysitting you’ve done. I promise to make it up to you when Frannie’s home and feeling better.”

I didn’t mind helping out at all. It made me feel good to do whatever I could to take some of the load off Naomi. She’d been running herself ragged between working, visiting her sister, and playing single mom to two busy kids. Nevertheless, I liked the sound of making it up to me.

“Oh yeah?” My voice lowered to a rasp. “What did you have in mind for that?”

“I don’t think I can tell you with two kids in the other room and thin walls.” Her voice lowered. “But it definitely involves me on my knees, and maybe a ponytail for you to wrap around your hand. I know how much you like to have control.”

I groaned. We hadn’t been together since her sister was admitted to the hospital. It was impossible with her crazy schedule and always having the kids. “Fuck. It’s been too long.”

“I know. I might have to break my no-hanky-panky-in-the-office rule soon.”

“I’ll tell the staff to take tomorrow off.”

She laughed. “How is everything going there? Did you get the Pendleton brief done?”

“Almost. Although it’s pissing me off how good it’s coming out. I think there’s a real shot I can get the wiretaps thrown out and that wife-beater might get off.”

“I honestly never considered how difficult it might be for a defense attorney to do their job when they dislike a client.”

“The funny thing is, I really don’t think he’s guilty of what the feds charged him with. But I hate the thought of that fucker being home to smack his wife around. I still can’t believe I heard that shit on the illegal recordings.”

“Working in the district attorney’s office taught me that people who have no morals always get in trouble again, even if they get away with it the first time. The people who just make a stupid mistake once and truly regret it are the only ones who learn their lesson. Someone like Mr. Pendleton will do something else wrong, even if they don’t get him this time.”

“True.”

“Anyway, I don’t want to keep you. I was just calling to tell you the good news.”

I looked at my watch. “I should be done here in like an hour. Is it alright if I meet you at the hospital?”

“You don’t have to do that. I can have Mrs. Hank next door watch Molly while I run Ryder up to visit and then come back and take Molly while she watches Ryder. She’s offered to keep an eye on them more than once.”

“Yeah, but you’ll spend more time running back and forth than visiting with your sister.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“I’ll meet you at the hospital at noon and wait downstairs with one while you take the other up. I’m looking forward to trying out the cafeteria’s imitation grilled cheese you told me about anyway.”

“Sure you are.” She laughed. “Hopefully this time they remember to take the plastic wrapper off the fake cheese slices.”

“I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

“Thank you, Dawson. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

***

“Have you ever been married?” Ryder threw down two cards and tossed a Cheez Doodle into the middle of the table. He’d been tapping a foot and biting his fingernails sitting in the hospital lobby, so I’d decided to take him to the cafeteria for a snack. Then I broke out the deck of cards I’d brought to occupy the kids. Somehow we were now using Cheez Doodles as chips.

I slid him two replacement cards. “Nope. You?”

Ryder rolled his eyes. “Any kids?”

“No little monsters.”

He smirked. “Probably why you’re playing cards with a ten-year-old. It’s not very good parenting.”

I chuckled. “You’re a little shit, you know that?”

He wagged a finger at me and tsked. “Using bad language with a minor, too. Maybe you shouldn’t procreate ever.”

I was more impressed he knew the word procreate than I was offended. I pushed a Cheez Doodle into the middle of the table and then added two more, upping the bet. “Call.”

Ryder turned over three fours. I grinned and turned over a full house, then swiped a Cheez Doodle from the bag and popped it into my mouth. “Serves you right.”

“I dropped the Cheez Doodles in that bag on the floor while you were in the bathroom,” Ryder said. “That’s why I haven’t eaten any. This place is filled with sick people. You’re probably gonna die now.”

I gagged and spit the Cheez Doodle out into a napkin. “Great. I might need to get some shots.”

“Really?”

“Nah. I have a good immune system.”

Ryder went quiet for a moment. “Is my mom gonna die?” He swallowed. “I won’t tell Molly if you tell me the truth. I can take it.”

“No, your mom isn’t going to die. I mean, we’re all gonna die someday, but when we’re old and wrinkly and get those gross brown spots all over our skin that no one wants to look at—not anytime soon. Your mom is doing great. She’s kicking ass. The doctor told her it could take up to thirty days for her to be able to have you guys visit, but it’s only been less than two weeks. That should tell you how well she’s doing.”

“Or…they’re letting us see her because she’s gonna die.”

“She’s not going to die, Ryder. In fact, there’s a good chance she could be cured when this is all over.”

His shoulders relaxed a bit. “Are you gonna marry my aunt?”

“I don’t know. Maybe if I’m lucky.”

“Lucky about what?” Naomi’s voice caught me by surprise. I hadn’t expected her to be back down here so quickly. She and Molly had only gone up to visit maybe twenty minutes ago.

Ryder pointed to me. “He wants to marry you.”

Naomi lifted a brow. “Oh? Did he ask for your blessing?”

“My what?”

She chuckled and put her hands on my shoulders. “They asked that the kids visit for an hour or less, so I’m back to swap out.”

Molly had on a yellow dress and a matching yellow bow in her hair. She joined her brother on the other side of the table, sharing his chair, which he didn’t look too thrilled about. “Get your own place to sit.”

“You’re going to visit Mom!”

Ryder stood, intentionally bumping his sister when he got up. I didn’t have a sister close in age, but I imagined if I did, my relationship would be similar. He grabbed the cards I’d brought from the table. “Can I take these? I taught myself some card tricks to show Mom. But I forgot mine.” He nodded toward his sister. “Because this butthead was rushing me out the door.”

I nodded. “Go for it.”

A half hour later, Ryder and Naomi returned. Ryder was smiling and laughing. It seemed the medicine these two needed was their mother.

“How was your visit?” I asked.

Ryder shrugged, playing it cool. “Fine.”

Naomi smiled. “Frannie asked if you would mind visiting, too?”

“Me?”

She nodded.

“Uh. Sure.” A sinking feeling settled into my stomach. Had she somehow found out what I’d done?

“You’ll have to suit up because of germs. They’ll give you a gown, booties, and a mask and stuff to wear.” Naomi smiled again. “You’ll love it. It’s a germaphobe’s dream outfit.”

I laughed and stood. “What floor?”

“Eight. Stop at the nurses’ station as soon as you get off the elevator, and they’ll give you everything you need and show you to the room. Oh, and Frannie is Francesca Mason. Mason is her married name.”

“Got it.”

My nerves were at war with my curiosity as I rode the elevator up to the eighth floor. As Naomi had said, the nurses at the station gave me everything I needed and pointed me to room 810. I entered, suited up like a doctor about to go into surgery rather than a visitor, and held up my gloved hands. “I’m here for the one o’clock lobotomy.”

“Hey, Dawson.” Frannie had on a mask, but I could see by the way her eyes crinkled that she was smiling. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. It’s good to see you. You look great.”

“Thank you for lying.”

An awkward silence fell between us. I think I was waiting for the reason I’d been summoned, but maybe she just wanted another visitor? She’d been here for almost three weeks, after all. I started to say something at the same time she did.

I smiled and held out a hand. “Sorry. After you.”

Frannie sighed. “How is my sister doing?”

“She’s doing great. Couldn’t you tell by the all-blue outfit today? It brings peace, calmness, and stability.”

She smiled. “You’ve been well trained, I see.”

“I have. But seriously, she’s managing everything like a boss. I’m not going to lie and say she doesn’t worry about you, because she definitely does. But today went a long way.”

She sighed. “I don’t want you to have to lie to her. So when she asks you what I wanted—because she will ask you. She’s a born lawyer, always has questions—you can tell her I asked how she was holding up.”

“That sounds like you’re telling me what I should say, but there are things you don’t want me to say.”

There was sadness in her eyes. “Years ago, when my kids were born, I made a medical proxy and elected my sister to make all medical decisions in the event that I was unable to make them myself.”

“I notarized a new one for you before you were admitted.”

Frannie nodded. “I changed my proxy to my sister-in-law.”

“Oh.” I paused. “Does Naomi know?”

She shook her head. “I was my husband’s proxy when he got into the car accident. He was on life support without any brain functions for a week. I knew in my heart he wouldn’t want to be kept alive like that, but it was still a horrible thing to have to sign those papers. I spent all day and night reading articles about people who came out of a coma after fifteen years and medical advances that could be able to restore brain functions someday. I know I did the right thing, but there will always be a little part of me that feels responsible for his death.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

“Anyway, if something were to happen to me, she’s going to have my kids for the rest of her life, and I don’t want her to ever look in the mirror or look at them and have an ounce of regret, so I made my sister-in-law my proxy. We talked about it, and she’s okay with the responsibility. But I think Naomi will be hurt, and I wanted someone to be able to explain things to her if it comes to that.”

“Okay. I understand, but…you’re doing so well.”

She looked into my eyes for a long time before looking over my shoulder. Then she lifted her arm and pulled back her robe sleeve. A red rash littered her skin. “I found this when I woke up this morning. It’s itchy and burns.”

“What is it?”

“It could be nothing. But…a rash is one of the early signs of graft-versus-host disease.”

Fuck. I’d read up on bone-marrow transplants before making my decision to donate and knew acute GVHD was not good. The six-month survival rate was something like fifty percent. “What did the doctor say?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t show it to them yet. They took my blood yesterday, and my neutrophil count was high enough to let the kids visit. I knew if they saw this they wouldn’t allow them to come. So I waited. I’m going to show them after you guys leave. I’ve also started having some stomach issues, which is another sign.”

“Did you tell Naomi about the rash?”

She shook her head again. “Not yet. I don’t want to worry her unnecessarily. But I promise I will after I talk to the doctors. Just give me a few hours, and I’ll call and tell her.”

“I won’t say anything. It should come from you. But I’ll make sure I’m with her later in case she gets upset or wants to talk about it.”

“Thank you, Dawson.”

My chest felt heavy, like an elephant had just parked his ass on it. “I’m so sorry, Frannie.”

She smiled again, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you. But it’s not your fault.”

I swallowed. Yes, yes, it is.

***

Later that evening, Naomi and I were watching TV on the couch at her sister’s when her phone rang. Naomi’s spirits had been high ever since the hospital. She smiled as she looked at her phone and swiped to answer. I listened to one side of the conversation. Even without hearing, it wasn’t difficult to tell when Frannie sprung the news about her rash. Naomi’s face dropped, and she jumped to her feet.

“What did the doctor say?”

Quiet.

“What are the other symptoms?”

Silence.

“And you don’t have any of those?”

Then.

“But that could be from the food, right?”

Naomi listened for an extended period of time before taking a deep breath. “Okay, well, if the doctor said there’s a chance it could be nothing but a simple rash, I don’t think we should jump to conclusions. Remember when we were kids you got rashes from bug bites? Maybe you got bit?”

She did a lot of nodding and pacing after that. Naomi’s words were positive, but I could tell by her tone and posture that she was scared. After she hung up, I felt like a dick pretending I didn’t know already.

“What’s going on?”

Naomi’s eyes welled up. “My sister might be rejecting the donor’s cells.”