I will never be yours

Kian pov

I was left alone after everyone left my office, I know they are angry and 1 just let them be. I know none of them will see it from my point of view.

I have been sitting in my office for the rest of the day and when evening came I decided to go up to my chambers and take a shower, need something to avert my mind from knowing she is inside the castle walls.

When I leave my office her mouth-watering scent hits my nose and all I want is to go into her room, I start walking closer to her room and come to stand outside. Can't make myself open the door and walk inside.

" can't stay away from her?" Declan's voice comes to my ears and I sigh before turning around and seeing him leaning at the wall.

"Just wanted to know if she was alive!" I say and start walking up the stairs to my quarter. Hearing him walk behind me 1 just sigh, I know he will start to argue with me and try to have me change my mind.

Opening the door to my bedroom and walking inside I hear him close the door after him.

" she is alive but it's not because of you! I don't get you Kian. You got a second chance mate and you just tossed her away!" I start to take off my clothes and walk into my bathroom, ignoring him when I turn on the shower and get inside.

My shower doors opened and I just roll my eyes at him.

" Why Kian?" He looks angry at me while I start shampooing my hair.

"1 told you! I don't want a weak mate. Already had one and look how good that went" washing off the soap I turn off the water and push by him. He is one of my best friends and he knows how I feel about my first mate.

" With the amount of beating she got and still breathing she is anything but weak! And not to mention she has survived out there for years," he states and follows behind me out to my room. Drying my body on a towel I take in his words.

"1 know! But the fact still stands. She was captured with the rogues and didn't corporate with Cannon when he interrogated her. For all, I know she could be one of the enemies” I say and put on new clothes.

" Who can blame her after you ordered her out of this kingdom and away from her family. She was left alone before her first shift for fuck sake! Who wouldn't want to get revenge after that? Get a grip and man up Kian! She's your fucking mate and you owe her big time" he says with anger in his voice before he walks out of my room and closes the door with a bang.

I sigh and sit down on my bed, dragging my hand down my face.

I know what I did to her wasn't right but I don't want a new mate and I'm better off without her. When I'm ready dressed I sit in my room for a while, I have no appetite for eating and I can forget sleeping.

I can't relax, knowing she is here under my roof and we have no idea why she was with the rogues. Where has she been during all these years, none of us found any trace of her. She has been gone for years and right now she turns up together with our enemy.

Is she one of them?

Getting up from my bed I walk over to my door, just head down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee.

Coming inside the kitchen I'm alone and grateful for it, I don't want to argue with anyone else tonight. Leaning at the counter while I wait for my coffee to be ready I see her heavily beat-up body in front of my eyes. She was more black and blue than the usual color, her legs were broken and I guess her back too. I couldn't recognize her face from all the swelling!

If I hadn't smelled her scent I wouldn't have known it was her.

When my coffee is ready I take my cup and walk out of the kitchen, just going where my legs take me when I find myself standing in front of her door again.

Sipping on my coffee I can't make myself to open the door and walk inside.

I don't know for how long I have been standing there looking at the closed door when a nurse opens it up and finds me standing there.

" my king! You can go inside if you want. She is still unconscious but stable at the moment, I just going to get some more medicine for her!" The nurse says and holds the door open for me, her scent hits my nose and I can't resist going inside to her.

The nurse closes the door after and I just stand there and look at my little mate laying on the bed with multiple machines hooked up to her body.

She looks so small and fragile on the bed.

My feet start to walk closer to her and I can't stop from going over to her. She looks better even if she still is swollen and badly beaten up!

Taking my hand I pull some hair from her face and place it on the side of her face, last time I saw her she was beautiful. I wonder if she will look the same once the swelling is gone.

My hand touch her cheek and tingles shoot up my arm, I hear a soft moan from her lips and I guess she felt it too.

Her eyes flutter and I take a step back, I'm just going to watch her from the side and wait until she wakes up.

I have a lot of questions she will have to answer!