I Am Jessamine

Nicholas lay under the blanket Jessie threw over him after she bound up his arm and cleaned the cuts she had made. Both of his hands were bound up as was the wound on his upper thigh. His ankle was tightly bandaged and was elevated slightly.

Jessie had gone through the bags, barrels, and boxes and found plenty of food and water as well as a goodly amount of whiskey. She had made him a platter of food and set it on a stool by his bed. Like hell would she feed the bastard, she thought angrily to herself.

“You do know my father is the Earl of Dranmore don’t you? He is exceptionally well connected as is my grandfather, who I have yet to meet, the Lord of Broch de Clisson. He is an old dodder, but also pretty well up the shaft, yes? Our mother was a total bitch when I first arrived at the O’Cleirigh Estate, but she seems to have come round a tad.” At hearing this Nick made a snorting sound and rolled his eyes.

“Ah, so you have no affection for Genevieve then, do you?” she asked and Nick knew she was digging and trying to get a reaction from him. Her next words, however, did make him sit up and take note.

“Colonel Daniels has been arrested.” And she watched his face and saw something there she did not like at all.

“Oh dear brother, what have you got yourself into?” Holding her hands up she said, “Hey, don’t talk to me then. I will just take you back home with me and we will see what falls out of the tree when we shake it a bit.” And she grinned a nasty grin at him.

“Stop it, Jess. Please, just stop.” He said quietly.

“Stop what, Nicky? Stop what?” Jess shouted at her brother. “Stop telling you what your actions have caused. Stop telling you how mightily you have fucked up and how you are still fucking up! As I said, don’t talk to me, I don’t care, but back home is Governors Ranford and Trent. They were the ones who officially arrested Daniels. Speak now or wake up later in a prison in the eighteen hundreds and forget all about going back home.” Then Jess thought about it for a little but decided he ought to know the truth. “Just a by-the-by important side note for you, the Ranch is mine and you will not be welcome there. You are responsible for the death of the man I called ‘Daddy’ for twenty-five years of my life.” Jess got up and tied his good leg to the bed and his one good arm as well as tied a rope around his neck and looped it around the table. “One way or another, you will speak. Maybe you should sleep on it.”

Jess wrapped herself in his long coat and a fur skin blanket and sat in a chair by the fire. She stared into the flames for a long time, thinking.

“Jessie?” Nick called softly and she turned to look at him, but she did not answer.

“I was given a letter a few years ago. Just before dad,” and he stopped and looked at Jess, “went to jail. It was dated three months after you were born and it was from our mother. In it, she said why she had to come back here.” He tried to pull himself up and sit more comfortably. “It kind of made sense and I actually felt sorry for her. She had her reasons, Jess. She wanted to save her parents and her home from Rancliff.” Nick took a shaky breath and Jess could see he was hurting, but her heart was still ice cold.

“She explained how they had helped the Scottish immigrants and how they had been kept safe within the walls of Broch de Clisson, but it seemed inevitable they would be suspected of harboring traitors to the crown. God, it sounded so fucken stupid and pompous. In our time we’d call them refugees and wouldn’t care who the hell knew, but clearly now, here in this time, it was entirely different.” Jess couldn’t disagree on that one.

“Then in her letter, she said how she, Willy, and dad had thought Rancliff was also a time traveler and it certainly appeared as though he was using twenty-first-century knowledge back here. He was building himself an empire and making a lot of important connections so that he became almost untouchable.” He ran his bandaged hand over his face and winced. Jess just raised her eyebrow at him and he shook his head at her. “Holding grudges makes you fat, Jessie!”

“That may have worked when I was twelve, Nick!” and she rolled her eyes at him, but did not encourage him to talk anymore.

“Anyway, when dad went to jail I started thinking more about Mom’s letter and how Rancliff was taking ownership of properties and making his fortune from the lands and wondering how he could be using that fortune now. So, I started watching the offices of the syndicate. I knew where it was because dad had shown me. They had tried to recruit him after that job we pulled for that Insurance Company. You remember?” Jess looked at him and only nodded.

“It was after a couple of days when I noticed a woman who turned out to be Valeria Brossard. I tailed her and saw where she lived and where her regular haunts were and sort of made her notice me. She showed an interest and we started seeing each other. It wasn’t long before I figured she time traveled because of how she sometimes would speak and struggle with technology. Remember how Willy used to get completely buggered just with the tv remote?” At Jessie’s nod he said, “Well, she was worse! Never mind driving a car! So, I planted bugs in her home and on her clothing and I managed to put together what it was she and Rancliff were doing.” He shook his head slightly and closed his eyes.

“They were onto you, weren’t they?” Jess asked quietly.

“Not yet, but soon enough they would be. I found out that Rancliff was the head of the syndicate and he has a bunch of staff that look like Neanderthals working for him. These blokes are huge and I am sure they’re not employed for their brain power. So, I broke in to their offices and snooped. My suspicions were correct and Rancliff was making thousands off the illegal shit he was doing in the eighteen hundreds and depositing the money in two of the oldest banks in the world.” Here Jess interrupted him.

“Berenberg Bank in Switzerland and Banca Monte dei Paschi di Siena of Italy.” And she felt quite smug at the look on her brother’s face.

“How the hell do you know?” he sounded astonished, “Never mind, I should have known you would know this. So, I decided to quite literally take the leap and travel. I know where the jump sites are and I wanted to stop him, but they were on to me and I had to be super smart and secretive. I found myself washed up at Ballyraghan Bay and managed to get myself to Broch de Clisson.” He stopped and smiled wryly and shook his head, “Bloody suspicious bunch, these lot are. I told them who I was looking for and nearly got shot! Our grandfather is a raving lunatic so I don’t hold out much hope for our mother.”

Again he had that irritated look on his face so Jess said, “It usually skips a generation and manifests itself in the males.” And he looked at her as she compressed her lips and raised her eyebrows.

“You’re irritating, you know that?” he grumbled at her.

“Yeah well, I’m the only person listening to you right now, so make the most of it.” She said without much kindness.

“I eventually saw Genevieve and explained why I had travelled. I won’t say she wasn’t happy to see me, but she didn’t want anyone to know who I was, so I became her nephew. I met the stepfather and the half-siblings while I stayed at the O’Cleirigh estate and tried to work things out with mother dear. Anyhow, we found out about the kidnapping and smuggling of human flesh, slaves, and I managed to find myself employment with the crew of the Black Coral. Not a very honest living, but a living none the less and it was not very long before the crew started talking about a mutiny because the captain was a vicious, nasty piece of work. He was incredibly cruel, not just to the slaves that were to be sold, but to the crew as well. I won’t bore you with the details, but I led the mutiny against Captain Riddle and when we won the ship we tossed the bastard overboard. After that, the crew made me captain and we planned on setting the slaves free on the nearest island because none of us could stand for slavery. It is an abhorrent trade to even the lowliest. By the time we came across the O’Murchadha we had dumped the cargo of slaves so Rancliff would lose big time there, but were running low on clink and unbeknownst to me the crew had already planned the attack because they knew of the trade vessel and stealing and plundering was better than working for an honest living. I was new at this so when the vessel was taken I honestly didn’t know what to do so I told them all to drink and be merry and we would see what we had in the morning.” Jessie sat forward with her face in her hands trying not to remember her time on the O’Murchadha. It hurt remembering how happy she had been with Gray and it hurt even more thinking about Ben.

“I don’t know how the crew of the trade vessel managed to overpower the pirate crew, but they did and when the morning came and everyone eventually pulled their heads out of their arses, we saw the O’Murchadha was gone. The crew lost it and demanded we find another ship to pillage and plunder or they were going to slit my throat for being a shit captain. We came across the Danube and the crew shot the hell out of the ship and took the women, killed and bunch of people, plundered what they could and left the rest to the fish.” Jessie wanted to vomit. Because of saving the crew of the O’Murchadha she was responsible for the destruction of the Danube and the passengers and crew who died. What a terrible feeling!

“You look sick, Jess. You okay?” Nick frowned at her and looked suspicious of her.

“I am fine. Carry on, Nick.” She sighed and leaned over to poke around at the fire.

Nick sighed and closed his eyes for a short while then he took a deep breath. “The Black Coral is owned by Brigadier General Rancliff.”

Jess stopped what she was doing, turned around and stared at Nick. “The pirate ship that you led a mutiny on belongs to the man you were supposedly trying to topple?” Jessie said incredulously.

“That’s right and when we pulled in to the harbour off Galway Colonel Daniels was there to escort me to prison, but before we got there he made me a deal and said that there was a woman he wanted removed from the picture. I was to accompany him to the O’Cleirigh estate and wait with a wagon in the shadows. He would point out exactly who I was to kidnap and if I did that he would drop all charges against me and that would be the end of it. He wanted me to take you to a whore house in Galway where the madam would be waiting for you and put you to work, where you would only service the nickel and dimers, until such time that Daniels decided you would be sold. When he pointed you out, Jess, I had no idea it was you. I swear it.” He looked at her with pleading eyes and Jess had difficulty believing he did not recognise his own sister. Instead she asked, “Why was it so important that Daniels be rid of me? What could I have possibly done to make him want to do that to me?”

“Oh, it had to do with some bullshit story about a thousand year old myth. He told me what it was, but it sounded like some cockamamie superstition and he was convinced it was truth and was deadly afraid of you. Seriously Jessie, the man was petrified of you. He is a sick bastard, Jess. The shit he’s done will make your hair stand on end. He’s twisted and warped and gets great pleasure out of another’s pain and suffering. Regardless if he is the one to inflict that pain and suffering or not. He can watch men rape a woman and he will laugh at her screams of agony. He will become almost wild if two men rape a woman at the same time. He completely loses it if it is a boy being raped. He literally skips and dances about laughing maniacally.” Jessie held up her hand to stop him.

“Enough! Please, Nicky, enough of this.” Looking very sick Jess asked, “Am I to assume, from your vivid description, you have been witness to these atrocities against girls and boys?”

Nick looked away from her and dropped his chin. Jessie wanted to cry. “What has become of you, Nicholas? Who are you that you have allowed yourself to fall so low?” Shaking her head she turned around to stare back into the fire. “You won’t even be able to bear witness or submit affidavits without implicating yourself, do you know that?” Shaking her head, Jessie took the biggest lamp and stepped outside into the freezing cold. She ran with bare feet up to the road and placed the lamp on the biggest boulder she could find and then hurried back down.

“What are you doing?” Nick asked as she rushed back to the fire and put her feet closer.

“Willy knows me and he will recognize that lamp as my signal,” Jess said seriously.

Nick laughed sarcastically at her, “Ah, yes, your precious lapdog. God, it’s sickening. Do you think you are the only person alive who would do something like that, Jessie? You can be so naïve sometimes it is quite sad.” He shook his head while Jessie’s blood boiled.

Jess was alarmed at his nasty reference to Willy but she chose to remain silent. This Nicholas was a different one to the boy she remembered as her brother. He was a cold bastard. Instead she just said, “Many people may do the same thing, but not a single one will leave an object like I just have, Nicholas.” She said through a tight jaw and gritted teeth.

Looking carefully at her he asked, “Are you cold Jessie? There are clothes in the trunk under the seat on the wagon. I reckon there may be something there that would fit you.” Jessie looked at him, but that little bell inside her gave off a warning signal. ’No, thanks. I will be fine until Willy or Gray gets here.” And she stoked the fire again and went to check on the knots tying him to the bed.

“Geez, c’mon Jess. How far could I get with a buggered up ankle and a broken arm? Never mind the stab wound in the leg and my messed up hands!” Jess glanced over at him and with a bored tone she said, “Nicholas, you have managed to get this far without Rancliff, Daniels or La Rue killing your arse, don’t fuck it up for yourself now by having your sister put you down. It is bad enough for you that I kicked your arse, so be grateful.” Jess felt him glaring at her and for the umpteenth time wondered what had happened to her brother. Did he become greedy when he saw what all the others had or had he always been this way and she simply had not noticed? Ugh! What a mess, she thought.

At that moment Jessie heard hoof beats in the distance and she stood up. There were no windows in the shack so she simply stood and listened carefully. Sure enough the sound got closer and Jess felt her heart lift and her pulse begin to quicken. It was Gray. She would stake her life on it that her love would be with her within moments. As the sound got louder Jessie yanked the door to the shack open and ran out as the horses stopped and she heard the voice that will always echo in her heart.

“Jessie!” Gray came running down the hill and scooped her up into his arms and buried his face in her neck. Jessie started to cry, a real heart-stoppingly good cry. Gray held her close and held her tight. “Oh, my love. My precious darling Jess. I am so sorry this happened to you. Are you alright? No one touched you?”

Trying to get herself under control she shook her head and then saw Willy and he held up the blue ribbon with the glittering hair clips attached. She smiled through her tears and gave a little hiccup and laugh together.

“Let us go inside the shack before we all freeze to death.” Said Willy and trudged in and Jess heard his boots stop. Gray and Jessie stepped up behind him to see Nick lying all bandaged up on the bed.

Closing the door Jessie walked back to the fire with Gray and Willy stared at Jessie. Then pointing to Nick he said, “I gather you did the damage here?” and Jess raised her eyebrows and nodded with a sardonic twist to her mouth and Gray pulled her closer to his side.

Gray looked from Jess to Willy and then to Nick and his blue-green eyes flashed angrily and dangerously, “This is the bastard who took you!” It was not a question and Gray stepped forward, but Willy stopped him in his tracks by adding, “And this also happens to be Nick, her brother.”

Gray spun around and looked at Jess with a shocked expression on his face. Pointing disgustedly to Nick he said, “This? This is your brother?” Jess frowned at Gray as his reaction seemed a little dramatic.

Stepping towards Nick, Gray asked furiously, “Do you not recognise me, man? You were with Daniels in Galway when he tried to have me killed and when I managed to get away and ran you saw which way I went and rather stay silent you sent them after me. If it wasn’t for a kindly old lady, I would probably be dead by now!”

Nick just closed his eyes and said, “I did what I had to do to survive, my good man.”

Before the confrontation could escalate any further Jess told Willy and Gray that Nick had a story to tell them and she suggested that they listened. “But before you do any of that did either of you bring something for me to change in to? My gown is ruined and my feet are freezing!”

Willy laughed trying to break the atmospheres edge and looked at Gray, “Shows how well you know our girl here.” And Willy stepped out and was back shortly with a bedroll and the saddle bags. “Everything you need is rolled up in there and in those bags, lass. Gray got this from your bedroom and quickly explained to the boy what was going on.” And Willy winked quickly. Jess gave a very small nod and she knew Gem was safe from Nick. Neither men would let her down and betray her trust or that of little Gem.

Gray took the old blanket Jess had put around her shoulders and then pinned it up to create a makeshift divider so Jess could change in private and still be warm. While Jess was peeling off her ball gown she heard Willy and Gray scratching around, going out of the shack and entering again and items being scraped around. Jessie rolled out the bed roll and right in the centre was her long leather coat, her black leather trousers, stockings, shirt, scarf and vest. Jess could have cried as she dressed. Everything felt so familiar and comfortable. Opening the saddle bags Jess found her boots, belt and dagger in its sheath rolled up in two woollen cut off arm warmers which were new, but so welcome. Pulling the scarf around her neck she wrapped and then knotted it and stuffed the ends down between her shirt and vest so that her throat and chest was warm. Finally she combed her hair with her fingers and pulled her hair back and tied it with the leather thong. She stood up and walked out from behind the curtain and slid into her long leather coat and stood by the fire. Gray stood looking at her and Jess smiled at him feeling incredibly happy that she was warm and he was with her. No matter what, no matter where, as long as she was with him Jessie felt like she could do anything.

Not caring for Nick or Willy, Gray took Jess in his arms and held her while they warmed themselves by the fire. He whispered in her hair, “I have never been so afraid in my life, mo gra. When we found the boy and then your necklace, earring and shoes I thought I would go mad with fear for you.” Jess suddenly remembered young Shawn and she asked after him and Gray glanced at Nick and said quietly, “When we left he was still breathing, but it did not look good at all.”

“Am I to gather that you two have become somewhat of an item then? The time traveller and the Captain!” and Nick laughed sardonically. “Have I just let the cat out of the bag, little sister?”

Looking over at Nicholas Jess felt ashamed that he was her brother, but she said nothing and neither did Gray. It was Willy who stepped forward in front of Nick and said, “You know Nicholas, I had such hopes for you. Your father, may his soul rest in peace, tried to look beyond your shallow self-centeredness and your lack of honour and loyalty, but when you started working for the syndicate he could no longer hide the truth about you. I used to make a joke and asked if you had been dropped on your head when you were just a wee baby because there seemed no other explanation, but he just said sometimes there is no explanation for when a child becomes an embarrassment. It hurt him to say that about you, but when we heard you had disappeared he did not hesitate, and nor did Jessie, to drop what they were doing to look for you because they wanted to help you.” Willy shook his head as Nick made a snorting noise and turned his head to one side. “But instead of showing appreciation to those who remain loyal to you, here you are being a belligerent, unkind and narcissistic asshole!”

“I don’t have to take insults and crap from a bloody paid ranch hand! Who the hell do you think you are Willy? You have never shown the same devotion to me that you have to Jessie. Don’t try to pretend you give a damn about me because I know better.” He said petulantly and glared at Willy angrily.

“Is that so, Nick? Who pulled you out of the car wreck that killed that young girl? You were as drunk as a skunk and should not have been driving. Who rushed you to the hospital when you tried to gas Jessie in her bedroom, but it backfired? Who was the one who covered up for you when you forced your horse to jump a fence when he was not ready and ended up breaking both front legs? Who stayed with you when you went cold turkey when you thought drugs were the way to go? Who taught you how to fight with swords, dagger, hands and axe? Who taught you to ride, jump and shoot a bow and arrow? I can go on, Nicholas, but I think you see my point!” Willy was very angry and he was literally growling while speaking softly.

Instead of showing a modicum of humility and shame Nick said nastily, “You were paid to do those things, Willy.”

“You’re mistaken, my good lad. My job was to be Jessie’s godfather, to protect her, to help raise her, to be there for her. I was not paid a damned thing for any of what I did for you. I did it because I love her like she was my own and I gave my word and oath to your mother that I would, and you, you just happen to be her brother. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, son.” Willy walked closer to Nick and he tried to back away on the bed, but the rope around his neck stopped him. “I included you in everything because that was the best way to keep an eye on you and prevent you from hurting Jessie all the time. You were a nasty, mean brat of a child. There were so many times you tried to hurt her, but either Ben or myself were at hand to prevent it. You had a mean streak that we tried to tame. You are responsible for the death of my best friend, your father, and this time there is no one to bail you out. You will have to be responsible for all that you have done, Nicholas.” Willy pulled up the bench beside Nick and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Jessie said you had a story to tell. Speak now, Nicholas, or as god is my witness I will personally see you delivered to Longmore prison to face justice.”

“Just let me go back home,” Nick whined miserably. “I just want to go back and live my life on the ranch.” He sounded as though he was about to cry. Jess knew he was looking for sympathy. “I wish I had never come here! I hate this place and the stupid smelly people and the disgusting food and ridiculous clothes. I just hate it!”

“Go back where exactly, Nick?” asked Willy sadly.

“To the ranch!” Nick shouted. “I want my own room and my clothes and decent food and a bath!” Now he was crying and he looked pathetic.

“I hate to be the one to tell you, but you are not welcome at the ranch anymore. Ben left the ranch to Jessie because she was the one who built it up. It was her hard work that got it the status that it has now. Not you, Nick. You always wanted to get away from the place so if you do go back, well, you’re on your own. You will have to make your own way.” Willy sat back and watched the emotions playing across Nick’s face and he waited for the first obvious thing he knew Nick would come up with. Jessie stood waiting for it as well and it didn’t take that long at all.

“But she’s not even his child! She is not a Kellie! I will contest it all. I will fight for what is legally mine by birthright. I will take it all. It is mine and you corrupted my father’s mind against me. You both did.” He cried and shouted and banged his head against the wood behind him. “You fucking little bitch! You just waited for me to leave, didn’t you? You hateful little whore! I will get you for this Jessie! I should have just killed you for Daniels.” He screamed at Jessie and then hit his bandaged hand on the bed and tried to kick out with his good leg.

Jessie stood with her hands over her mouth and tears pouring down her cheeks not believing what she was hearing. What happened to Nick, she kept screaming in her head. Why did he hate her so much? What did she ever do to make him hate her so much that he would say these terrible things?

Gray pulled her into his arms and held her close and Jess could feel him shaking with rage. She felt sick to her core and wanted nothing more than to be away from her own brother. Jess felt deflated and raw, disappointed and hurt, so totally let down and emotionally devastated. What were they going to do about him, she wondered?

“Willy,” Jessie said quietly, “may I have a word with you outside, please?” and she held on to Grays’ hand so that he came with her.

The three of them stood outside in the cold night air and Jessie looked up and was so amazed at the beauty of the starry night. The night sky reminded her of her ball gown and then she remembered the little stars that had floated around her while she was in the sack and she remembered them telling her they would be with her and give her strength when she needed it. Well, she thought, I could do with a good amount of emotional strength right now as well as mental strength.

“I think we should take him to Broch de Clisson and keep him there under guard until such time as we sort this mess out.” She looked at them both for advice and they nodded in agreement.

“He has told me quite a bit, but there is a lot we have figured out for ourselves. I told him Daniels had been arrested and he looked quite ill.” Jess looked at Willy, “I am so sorry he said such awful things to you, Willy. I don’t know who this Nick is.” And turning to Gray she said with tears in her eyes, “I regret that you had to see him like this. I never knew my brother hated me so much.”

“If it wasn’t for his greed and stupidity we would never have met and for that I will never be sorry, mo gra. I fear you leaving me.” And Gray pulled her close and kissed her on the head. Jess stayed silent.

“Jessie, I always knew Nick was a weak and selfish little boy that grew into a narcissistic young man. His words mean nothing to me. You need not worry yourself over him or his ravings.” Willy patted her arm and said, “We best hear his story and then make tracks at first light. We are only about a day’s ride from the O’Cleirigh estate. Let us warm ourselves, have a rest, and have something to eat while we listen to that jackass.” Willy gave a weak smile, but Jess knew his heart was sore at Nick’s words and Jess was angry that such a wonderful man like Willy could be treated so badly by a child he helped raise. For the first time since his death, Jessie was glad Ben was not around to hear the way Nick spoke or be witness to his sons’ revolting behavior or attitude towards others. Suddenly Jess wondered if that was why Genevieve behaved as she did. Did her mother see Nick for who he really was and think she was just like him? Maybe she had judged Genevieve too harshly, and maybe the old Nick will find his way back.

Walking back into the shack Willy threw more logs on the fire and the room lit up brightly, he poured mugs of whiskey, filled a platter with food, and sat with his feet up on the edge of the bed and nudged Nick. “Right lad, get talking. Tell us your story and don’t leave anything out. We will listen and then makes plans accordingly. Perhaps somewhere in the plans, we may just see fit to pull your ass out of the fire, just maybe.”

Nick glared at each of them in turn, but finally decided his chances were better with them than facing the judicial system of the eighteen hundreds and he began to tell his story. He left nothing out!