Hopeless (Chestnut Springs Book 5)

We fall back onto the bed in a tangle of sweaty limbs. My head is resting on Beau’s quad when he bites my inner thigh, leaving yet another mark I’m sure, since that seems to be his thing.

I yelp and roll off him, pretending I’m trying to get away. But he knows better. He grabs me and hauls me back against his body.

“Starting to think you ask me if I’ve ever tried something just to make me show you how, sugar. Such a needy little brat.”

I laugh against his chest, biting his pec in response. “Sixty-nine just seemed so confusing. I needed some coaching, sir.” I can’t say it without giggling. I swear I’m giddy all the time now.

Sex with Beau is hot, and fun, and emotional all at once. I can’t get enough of it.

“Bailey,” he groans in that exasperated way he likes to say my name, but his dick twitches beneath my leg where it’s slung over his naked body.

Does it make me a brat that I get a real thrill out of saying things that shock him? I don’t know. But I don’t care because I get a kick out of it.

I also get a lot of orgasms out of it.

And a lot of feelings. Big feelings that I’m not sure what to do with. Big feelings that make me still wanting out of this town very confusing. I was so convinced that sex was just sex, but with Beau, it’s so much more. Everything feels so different now.

We snuggle, me plastered over him and his arms snug around my waist as the morning sun filters in through the window. He woke me up getting ready for work, and I took advantage. I’m tired and want to go back to sleep, but he must be tired too, considering he still sits at my bar four nights a week guarding me.

He hums contentedly and then carries on to make a fake snoring sound that has me smiling against his chest. “I’m sorry. You must be so tired.”

A broad, calloused palm slides up and down my back. “All good, baby. It’s worth it.”

“You can’t keep this up.”

“What?”

“Staying up all night with me and working on the ranch all day.”

“Sure I can. I sleep through 2:11 like a baby with you here.”

I roll my lips together, weighing my words carefully. “We need to talk about what we’re doing at some point, Beau. We basically fuck, cuddle, and then you watch me work.”

“Yes, it’s perfect.”

“You can barely keep your eyes open.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so horny all the time. You wear me out. I’m old. It’s hard to keep up.”

I can’t help but laugh. “You don’t seem to struggle with keeping up. Like, at all.”

“Was talking to Mitch Henderson, the fire chief, the other day while I gassed up.”

“Oh?”

He nods, his chin bumping up against the top of my head. “Yeah. He told me to come down any time, and he’d slide me into the next training group. Thinks I’d be perfect for the job.”

I know he doesn’t mean anything by it, but his comment chafes. A casual conversation at the gas pump gets him an in with whatever job he wants. Meanwhile, I struggle to stay afloat at a job where it’s taken years for me to work my way up. And truthfully, I don’t know how they haven’t fired me yet. And now I have another job with a woman who thinks we’re about to become sisters-in-law.

It feels unfair, and I go rigid in his arms as I wrap my head around what he’s just told me. I’m happy for him.

I am.

I’m not happy for me. He’s putting down roots here, and I’m still planning my exit strategy. I’m going to be the first person in my family to attend university. I have plans for myself because I don’t want to be Chestnut Springs Bailey. I’ll always be a Jansen here, no matter what. The fact Beau thinks he still needs to watch over me constantly is proof. And whether or not he wants to admit it, he can’t keep it up.

“You would be great at that, I agree.”

“Then when you go off to school, I’ll have a regular schedule that we can work around if need be.”

“Oh.” I don’t know why I assumed he hadn’t planned for this.

“Long distance. To start with.”

“Long distance.” Even I can hear the surprise in my voice as I repeat his idea. “We could do long distance. And it’s not that far. An hour? That’s child’s play.”

But what does to start with mean? That he expects me to move back to Chestnut Springs?

“Of course we can.”

God, I’m an idiot. He probably isn’t even thinking that far ahead. I should just enjoy the moment. Trust that Beau has got this.

I squeeze him and suck in a deep breath of his citronella scent.

Long distance.

I’ll miss this, though. Having him every day. I’ve only had it for a week, and I already know I’ll have a hard time going without.

And that prospect terrifies me.

“Bailey.”

“Yeah?”

“I can feel you worrying.”

“Yeah?” I snort. “Is that something they teach you as a tier one operator?”

He nips at my ear, always turning a serious moment playful to ease my anxieties. “Mouthy little brat.”

“Your mouthy little brat,” I murmur as I snuggle into him, my ear against where I can hear his heart beating.

“Yes, Bailey, you’re my mouthy little brat. And I’ll give your mouth something to quiet it down later.”

“Cheesy.”

“Fine.” He unfolds himself from the bed, peeling my spent body off him. “I’ll see you at work tonight. And when we get home, I’ll watch you try to mock me with my dick shoved down your throat.”

I laugh and roll over to look at this beautiful, filthy, funny man who stormed into my life and turned it all upside down.

I think I’m still reeling.

I think I’m overwhelmed.

I think I’m in love with him too.

“See you tonight,” I reply with a wink.

Then he kisses me and swaggers out the door like he hasn’t got a care in the world.