Hopeless (Chestnut Springs Book 5)

I’m pretty sure this is a dream and someone will shake me awake at any moment.

But when Beau licks up my slit, tongue flicking hard at my clit, my back bows off the bed and I know this isn’t a dream.

Because I always wake up from sex dreams right when it’s finally getting good.

And that was really fucking good. I make some sort of uncontrolled mewling noise and my body trembles against my will.

“You like that, baby?” Beau asks as he drapes my thighs over his shoulders.

Then he does the same thing again. Slow and purposeful, the pressure is just right.

I attempt to stifle another desperate sound coming from the back of my throat, but fail. “Yes,” I try to reply, but the word is all garbled.

I feel the rumble of his deep, amused chuckle against my core. The noise I make is something wilder than a whimper—this man knows exactly how to handle me.

He devours me. My legs wrap around his shoulders and eventually work their way up to the back of his head, tugging him closer. His strong arms wrap around my thighs, big hands splayed, holding me open so he can feast on me.

“Am I the first to do this to you?”

I nod, tugging at his hair. Mindless for this man. “Yes.”

“I’m going to be the only one to do this to you, Bailey. Mark my words.”

My head spins. He’s so fucking sure. I don’t know what to make of his confidence. How to cope with it. In my world, nothing lasts forever, and love isn’t even on the table.

Beau gives me so much. I worry I’ll never be able to repay him.

He slides a finger into me, working my body in time with his mouth. My back arches and my palms fly up to my face, gliding back over my hair.

“Should I add another finger, Bailey? Get you nice and ready to take my cock?”

“Yesss.” I moan the word right as I tug at my own hair.

He does exactly as he promised, slow and steady, sucking at my clit as his hand moves faster. Harder. My body shakes as he works me over—squeezing my ass, fingers curling into me, devilish tongue flicking.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I curse. All my hard-won attempts at being a “lady” fly out the window with this man’s head between my legs. “Beau, I’m going to—”

“Come for me, baby.” He pulls back, watching his fingers pump in and out of me. “Let me see it.”

His intimate gaze, his husky words, and his thumb reaching up to rub my clit cause me to shatter. He grips me like a vise, two fingers pushing at that magical spot deep inside me as I call his name. My body is suffused with heat. The backs of my calves cramp. Every muscle braces, clenching on him, before releasing every ounce of pressure. Rocking me to my core.

And Beau never stops. Watching. Touching. Admiring his handiwork.

“Yeah, I’ll never tire of this view,” he says gruffly, as my limbs go soft.

All I can do is concentrate on breathing, getting my vision back into focus. His fingers leave my body, accompanied by a wet sound. My eyes shut, a trickle of embarrassment finding its way in.

“What was that, Bailey?” he asks, and I feel the bed sink under the weight of him. His knees brace on either side of my naked body.

My eyes flip open to meet his. “Nothing.”

“Do you know how fucking beautiful you look, coming with my name on your lips?”

“No,” I reply honestly, and he just smiles.

“What about how good you taste? Do you know how fucking good you taste?”

I shake my head, my body thrumming just from the rumble of his deep voice in the dim room.

He smirks, full of promise and knowing, and the fingers that were just inside me trace my lips. “Suck, Bailey.”

“Your cock?” My eyes widen with excitement.

“We can save that for another day. I’ll be happy to let you practice. But for now … ” His two fingers tap against my lips and my mouth pops open.

He slides his fingers onto my tongue, and my lips close around them. My eyes lock with his as the taste of what he did to me fills my mouth. “Such a pretty girl,” he murmurs, pulling them back out with a pop. “And if I ever see you looking embarrassed about yourself again, I’ll leave another mark on your neck to wear around town.”

Then he kisses me. Hard. And I taste myself there too. I taste him, that signature scent.

I taste us.

In the blink of an eye, he flips us and pulls me up the bed with him so I’m straddling him. He leans against the headboard, looking like some sort of king. Tousled and golden and impossibly broad.

“Undress me, Bailey.” He doesn’t blanch or blink away when he tells me what to do. His eyes burn hotter, and I want nothing more than to burn with him too. To rise to his challenge and not crumple under the weight of my inexperience.

So with a soft nod, I reach down and grasp his shirt, tugging slowly at first, then more frantically. He leans forward and lifts his arms to help me. I toss it away, and it’s just my hands on his skin. Roaming. Memorizing him in a way I haven’t been able to until now.

Warm, smooth skin beneath my palms. Thick bulges over his pectoral muscles. Tight nipples. I pinch one and peek up at him. His eyes blaze and he gives me a reassuring nod.

So I pinch again. This time both, noting the sharp intake of breath that follows. My hips grind down in response and his buck up to meet me.

God. I can’t believe I’m really here, doing this with him.

To cover for the way my hands shake, I keep moving them, roaming down his toned abdomen. A thin scar mars one of his perfect abs.

I trail a finger over its length and whisper, “What’s this from?”

“Got shivved.”

My gaze snaps up. “What?”

“Let my guard down that day, getting one of my first targets into custody. Learned a valuable lesson. Never letting that happen again.”

I smile softly, feeling the raised skin again. “Don’t think you’re much at risk of getting shivved in Chestnut Springs.”

His broad palms slide up my thighs, my ribs, over my shoulders until he frames my face with them and pushes my hair back behind my ears. “Still not letting my guard down. Not when I’ve got you to keep safe.”

A shiver races down my spine as I stare back at him. All I can offer is a nod.

I don’t think anyone has ever prioritized keeping me safe.

The weight of his gaze is almost more than I can manage, so I drop it and go back to touching him. My fingertips travel the light dusting of hair along the top of his shorts. I pull at the waistline, then tug harder, wanting them off. Gone. Wanting to explore.

Wanting his skin on mine.

Between the two of us, they get tugged down, slid off his legs, and forgotten.

Forgotten because all I can see is the massive cock laid across his masculine stomach. I take in everything. Muscled thighs. Heavy balls. The vein that runs up the underside of his length, pulsing.

I mean, yeah, I’ve watched porn, but it’s not the same. It’s like watching the National Geographic channel and saying you’ve seen a lion in the wild.

One of these things is not like the other.

I kneel beside him, and my tongue darts out.

“Keep looking at my dick like that while licking your lips and I’ll be in your mouth instead of your pussy.”

I flush, eyes flashing up to his. “I want both.”

“You’ll always get everything you want. I promise.” The need, the want, the lust radiating between us are downright electric. “Take it.”

My eyes widen, brain stumbling through the fog of my hormones. “Take what?”

His tanned hand reaches down, wrapping around his girth. He jerks once, then twice. It reminds me of watching him come on me, marking me while I fell apart under his watchful gaze.

“Take my cock and put it in your mouth. Get it nice and wet for me, Bailey.”

I lick my lips again as I glance down at his penis. The darker head looks so smooth.

“Fuck,” he mutters, fingers gripping the base of it tightly as a pearl of pre-cum forms at the tip. “Bailey if you don—”

He doesn’t need to finish that sentence. I’m salivating for him. I lean forward, wrapping my hand around him for a taste.

I want to know how it feels to hold that part of him in my mouth. To see how he might react.

My tongue darts out, lapping up the liquid, and Beau groans. When I peek up, his eyes are at half-mast and fixed on me.

He moves his hands away, folds them behind his head, and leans back like he’s ready to take in some sort of show.

Nerves hit me.

I don’t fucking know what I’m doing. What if I do it all wrong? What if he hates it?

“You’re perfect, Bailey.” His words soothe me instantly. He reads me like a book and knew exactly what was running through my head.

Perfect.

I’m not sure there’s any such thing, but I let myself bask in the compliment anyway. I let it encourage me as I slip my lips down over the swollen head of his cock. I feel every ridge with my tongue, every silky-smooth expanse.

I explore, and he lets me.

I lick. I suck. I fill my mouth with Beau, and the noises of pleasure he makes are all I hear.

Fuck, yes.

Just like that.

You’re doing so well.

The more he talks to me, the better I feel. The bolder I feel.

I push further down, feeling the blunt tip of him at the back of my throat. I gag when I go too far.

“Easy, Bailey.” He swipes a hand over my hair. “You don’t have to go that far. Everything you do feels so good.”

I pull up, flushing as his praise wraps around me. “It’s okay?”

His cheeks are rosy too, eyes a little shiny, like he’s had too many drinks. Except I know he’s drunk on me.

“Best I’ve ever had. The only thing that’s not okay is that I’m going to finish in your mouth if you keep it up. And that would be a waste when we both know what you really want is my cum in your pussy.”

My eyes flutter shut as gooseflesh breaks out across my skin. I do want that, but god. Hearing him say it out loud?

His hands pull me up to him as a knowing chuckle rumbles in his chest. “You like it when I say things like that, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” I murmur, kissing his shoulder as he lays me over him.

“You do. I just watched your nipples get harder right as your cheeks got even pinker.” He lifts me higher, sucking one nipple into his mouth. I gasp at the sensation, and jerk when he nips gently. “I can’t wait to find out what else drives you crazy.” His damp lips drag across the valley between my breasts. “You like it when I tell you what to do?”

I kiss his skin again, trying to act more coy than I’m feeling inside. I do like it. “Maybe.”

He sucks my opposite nipple, and a rush of wetness pools between my legs.

He smiles against my breast before a sharp nip once again leaves me gasping.

“Well, in that case, quit fucking around and sit on my cock, Bailey.”

His massive hands circle my waist, and I rise above him, nipples glistening with his saliva, pink indents from his teeth beside them. My blood thunders through my veins as I gaze down at this beautiful, protective man who’s given me everything and more and asked for almost nothing in return.

He says he loves me, and I don’t know how to process that, but I want to feel it all the same.

I inch my hips back, hand splayed across his chest as I line us up. I know how it felt to have just an inch of him inside me, and knowing I’ll get the whole thing this time sends a thrill through me. He holds me up as I reach down and take him in my hand.

I swipe the head through my wetness, feeling his cock slip so easily through my core. He groans, fingers flexing on my waist like it’s taking his all to not shove me down and impale me on his length.

When I notch him at my entrance, our eyes catch. The weight of his gaze is almost more than I can bear. And yet, I don’t look away. I can’t.

I’m so caught up in him, in us—he’s all I see.

The muscles in my legs strain as I carefully lower myself onto him.

One inch, his jaw ticks.

Two inches, his eyes go steely.

Three inches—fuck, he’s so thick—his hands shake. Or my body does. I don’t even know anymore where he ends and I begin.

With a whimper, I ease down further, and so do his eyes. He’s gone from watching my face to watching where he’s filling me up.

“Fuck, Bailey.”

I only moan, letting my eyes flutter shut and moving my hands to his round shoulders for support.

“You okay?”

I nod, feeling his hands soften and his thumb rub reassuringly against my stomach.

This is nothing like my toys. It’s tenfold more intense. I’m full in a way I never have before.

“Bailey, baby, you’re doing so good. If you need to stop—”

“I don’t need to stop.” My voice is breathy as I continue to sink down onto him. My body pulses. “I just … god. I feel so full.”

I whimper, letting the bite of his size distract me for a moment. But like always, Beau is right there to reassure me. “You’re almost there, Bailey. You’re so beautiful with my cock inside you. Just go slow.”

I nod and moan as I look down at where we meet, struggling to get the last of his length inside me.

His palms slide over my ribs, shaping down over my ass. “I know, baby, I know.”

Suddenly, I’m struck by an urgency, like this moment might slip through my fingers if I don’t make the most of it. I drop myself all the way down and cry out as I hit the base of him. “Oh god.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. That feels … ”

Fingers grip me, and he’s everywhere. I’m so full of Beau, I’m so—I don’t even know where I am, only that I’m on top of him, he’s inside of me, and I’ve never felt more safe.

I pant, nails digging into his pecs.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, voice all raspy and low.

I shake my head no.

“Bailey, talk to me.”

My eyes snap open to meet his silver gaze. “It’s just intense. It feels so different.”

He nods, smoothing his calloused palms over my back, the tops of my thighs. “I’m following your lead. Tell me what you need.”

“I … ” My vision goes a little blurry. “I need you to move or something.”

He tips his chin up. “You first. Lift and come down again. Get a feel for it.” His hands swoop up my stomach, palming my breasts almost reverently. His eyes, such an unusual color, glow metallic. They’re hard not to get lost in. “You can’t do a single thing wrong. Just do what feels good.”

“What about you?”

One side of his mouth tugs up, an almost pained expression gracing his handsome face. “Trust me, baby. It all feels good with you.”

My teeth sink into my bottom lip, and I flush at his praise. Then, with my hands on his chest, I lift up, feeling in every inch of him as I do.

The outstroke sends a jolt of delicious spasms through my body. At the top, pushed up on my knees, I look down, wanting to watch every inch of him disappear into my body. As I sink down on him, I can’t look away. It’s so foreign. So fucking hot.

I do it again. And again. Every stroke is less foreign than the last, more pleasurable than the last. His hands roam, always soothing. Slow and steady. I’m unable to tear my gaze from where Beau and I are joined. Like it’s some sort of experiment and I’m completely fascinated.

“See how pretty you look taking my cock, Bailey?”

“Yeah,” I murmur absently, because it’s hard to disagree with him. There’s something entrancing about the sight.

Beau moves a hand between us, tracing his thumb over the tight grip of my pussy lips around his girth. He spreads my wetness up, swiping it over my clit as I continue my slow ride.

Oh.

My eyes widen as he makes gentle circles.

“You like that, don’t you?”

I nod, struck speechless. I don’t just like it, I—

“Let me hear it, Bailey. Use your words.”

“I love it.”

He smirks, confident and playful all of a sudden. “I told you I’d make it good for you.”

Good? This is so much more than good.

He plays with my clit again and rolls my nipple between his fingers, forcing me to cry out. A surge of wetness coats us as my hips move in a way I never knew they could. I rise and drop more heavily, hips rotating as my muscles relax into the motion. And true to his word, Beau lets me get a feel for it—for him.

“Atta girl. Ride me,” he urges as his fingers work me over expertly.

A sheen of sweat covers my body as my hands grip and scratch. My eyes flit from one delicious corner of him to the other before they sink into those silver pools.

“You gonna come on my cock, Bailey?”

“I think so,” I breathe out. Every corner of my body is warm and sizzling with anticipation. Every muscle coiling as he fills me up.

“That’s my girl. Give it to me.” His thumb presses harder. His fingers pinch tighter. His bare cock pulses inside me and like a countdown one, two, three … I’m washed away.

Bowled over by a wave of pleasure so intense, I feel like I’ve left my body. I topple forward as the exquisite burst claims me. I feel everything.

Him.

Me.

Warm.

Safe.

Before I can even gather my senses, he’s flipped us over, his body caging me in. One hand strokes my cheek, while the other hikes my thigh up high. The angle is new and I gasp when he sinks into me from above.

He stops, cock filling me to the brim while my pussy still pulsates around him. “Bailey, baby,” he bites out, voice rumbling over my skin, setting it aflame. God, just the vibration of him against me has my nerve endings jumping. “I don’t think I can hold back any longer. My control is—”

“Give it to me.” I repeat his words back to him, lifting my head just enough to brush my lips over his. “And don’t hold back.”

“Fuck.” He spits the word out and crushes his lips to mine, taking my mouth in a searing kiss as he pistons into me relentlessly.

The bed shakes with the ferocity of his thrusts and my body aches in the most delicious way as he claims me.

“Hottest fuck of my life,” he growls, then he shouts my name against my shoulder before biting down hard. His body goes taut, and his cock jumps and pulses as he spills himself inside me.

“I love you, Bailey Jansen,” he murmurs, stroking my hair and licking gently over what I’m sure will be a bite mark tomorrow.

And all I can do is smile. Because that was worth the wait.

I have never felt more cherished than I do with Beau Eaton wrapped around me.