His Immense Desires

THE MUM I WISH I HAD

**STEFFS'POV**

It's been two weeks since I last saw Janelle, it was not easy for me when I reported her to the lecturer.

I only did that because I still felt hurt at her words, when she left the class, I was so down, but me, being a strong girl, I masked up my emotions and tried acting strong.

I never knew the lecturer would be so tough on her, I assumed since he's a very young lecturer he would take it easy on her, but it was the opposite.

Janelle was meant to come to class today, since last week Thursday marked the end of her suspension from the sociology class, I wondered why she didn't come to school today. After lectures, I thought on going to her house but on second thought, I decided to go visit my parents.

It's been a while since I last saw my parents.

I went back to the lodge with the hope of visiting my parents, I got carried away by the breeze and fresh air which sauntered its way to the windows and finally into my room.

I decided to take a little nap, school was really stressful.

**JANELLE'S POV**

"And that was all what happened, i tried apologizing to her but to no avail, she didn't even try listening to me.

She just went so far, reporting me to her lecturer, although I feel her pains, but still, I haven't been going to his class for the past two weeks.

The worst part is that the lecturer feels insulted by me, he thinks I was trying to make mockery of him due to how young he is.

I don't even know how I am going to face him in his next class.

I just don't know", I said addressing Steffs' parents.

Yes steffs' parents, I came here because literally I am so fed up with the fact that I and Steff are having issues.

I know that if I can't talk to her, her parents would probably talk to her.

"Janelle I understand the fact that you are trying to help her from her addiction, we have been trying our best to make sure she quits the drug, but what do you expect when she spent her last thirtteen years with typical Jamaican kids.

Seriously, I was once an addict when I was her age, but her father helped me through with it, it wasn't easy at first but look at me now, don't I look all clean.

I will forever be grateful to him", she said looking into the eyes of her husband.

I could see the great love that exists between them, I won't lie, I wished I had parents who cared more about the welfare of their children than their work.

"It's alright ma, I do understand also, I think I will get going, tomorrow is Saturday and I have a whole lot of work to do in my lodge, if you won't mind", I said. "Nooooo, no, no, no, how can you say that, it's almost 8pm and you intend leaving for your lodge.

Are you in Dreamland or what?, Do you think you are still in Florida where you can go out and come back the time you want to?.

Hell baby, the rate of rape here is too much, it's not just rape but you could be be manhandled by all these street boys, they could also go away with your stuffs. Please can you spend the night, please??", She cried out, giving me the puppy look, that made to laugh out loud, still giving a thought to what she said. Jamaica could get scary at night sometimes, I crossed my hand to the other side of the table, and clasped her hand, urging her that I would stay for the night. "Alright, I would definitely do so", I said, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Alright, let me warm up our dinner", she said standing up, I stood up to follow her to the kitchen, she stopped me, and said, "no baby, don't worry, it's just to warm it up, you could stay here and give your bestfriends' dad some company.

I laughed and subjected to her orders.

I and steffs' Dad, Mr Douglas had little talk, after which Mrs Douglas came with the food.

After we were done eating, I cleared the table and went to the kitchen to wash the plates.

I was done with the plates, so I went to the sitting room, where I saw steffs' mum watching a TV show.

She looked so into the movie, o stood on a spot, trying to remember when last I saw my mum so engrossed watching television.

For her, it's either work or she spends her day arguing with me, or threatening me to do things for her.

I won't really call it threatening, because I still respect the fact that she's my mum, whatsoever.

"Hey what's up, you look zoned out", that was steffs' mum.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about something", i said.

"Thinking about what, is it about Stefflon again?, You really love her", she said.

I just smiled as a tear escaped my eyelids.

"Shhhh, what's that Janelle, I thought we talked about this", she stated.

I started crying, it was a hurtful cry, she came over and brought me to the cushion, after which she started consoling me.

After some minutes, I felt okay, "do why were you crying?", She asked.

"I-it-its n-noth-ing", I stuttered.

"It can't be nothing, you can confide in me", she said.

"It's m-my m-mum", I said.

"What happened to you mum?", She asked.

"She-she doesn't care about me, she doesn't trust me, she doesn't even care about me, she ju-ju-just, I don't even know what I did to her", I said.

"Shh, don't talk like that Janelle, your mum loves you, there's no mother that doesn't love her child, maybe she's just so riled up.

Especially with the fact that you are in highschool, so she feels you have the right to do what you want, she just cares so much about you that it hurts her.

Don't talk like that Janelle, don't let your emotions get to you, just calm down.

One thing I want you to know is that your mum loves you, maybe you should try explaining to her", she said.

"You d-dont get it, I have tried expl-aining everything to her, but she wants to believe what she wants to believe", I said to her, as I brought my hands to my eyes to wipe off the tears about to pour out. "It's okay honey, just sleep it off, it's okay", she said, "alright it's 11pm, time to sleep and rest our heads for tomorrow.

"Damn it's 11pm already", I gasped as I stood up from the cushion.

"It's now where to sleep", I stated.

"It's alright, let me take you to steffs' room", she said.

"T-to where", I said.

"To steffs' room of course, her room doesn't bite, at least you get to see all her childhood pictures, both the ones you both took together when you both were little", she said, giving me a wide grin. "Alright, alright", I said with my hands up in the air, a significance that I have given in to her pleas.

Once I was inside the room, I turned around and gave Mrs Douglas a tight hug.

"Ohh my, you are choking me Janelle", she said as she protested a gasp.

"That was meant to be my line", I said to her laughing loudly.

"That should be it, laugh more baby", she said while I nodded my head.

Immediately she left, I went to steffs' photo album, I saw the picture we took when she was celebrating her two year old birthday, chocolates were all over our mouth and lips, giving our teeth a colorful brown. "Which teeth though?", My inner mind asked me, as I rolled my eyes in my head. We had no teeth, just some little white stuffs, God had managed giving us.

Out of all the photos, that was the only one that my heart reached out to.

I collected it and kept it in my bag.

************

I woke up the following morning, took my bath, after which I went downstairs to meet the couples.

We had little talks after which I thanked them for all the advice, I baded them goodbye, and left for my lodge.

She was the mum I wish I had, someone who wouldn't neglect her child or listen to what someone else says about her child, without listening from both sides.

A mum who would trust her child more no matter what, "so flawless", I thought