Hideaway Heart: Chapter 4
I COULDN’T BELIEVE I’d said that.
Beg on his knees?
What was wrong with me?
I made a beeline for the kitchen counter and picked up my glass of wine. Took a huge gulp.
Within seconds, I heard his fork clanking on the bowl out on the porch. It made me smile. Guess he was hungry after all.
Why did men have to be so stubborn? Did he really prefer eating alone on the porch with his food on his lap to sitting in here at the counter with me? Or had he rejected my offer for spite?
It was only because he’d given me so much attitude that I’d snapped. I wasn’t even a temperamental person by nature. Passionate, sure. Feisty? Sometimes. Tenacious? Always. Despite the fact that I was scared to stand up to my label, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without some spunk. But when you had to keep saying yes when you wanted to say no, swallow your opinions, and hold back your real feelings much of the time, they got all bottled up. The pressure built.
Just now, it had exploded.
But darn it, Xander didn’t belong here! I’d wanted to be by myself. He’d let himself into my vacation home like he had the right. He’d announced he was staying like I had no choice in the matter.
He’d seen me naked.
I shivered on the stool, recalling the shock and humiliation of running into him in the living room wearing nothing but my birthday suit. I’d hightailed it back into the bathroom as fast as possible, but there was no doubt he’d gotten a good look.
I wonder how he’d react if I suggested he get naked and let me look at him just to even things out. Then I smiled, figuring he’d probably do it. I’d only known Xander Buckley for a couple hours, but something told me modesty was not his thing.
Still, as I finished my glass of wine, my conscience continued to nag me. I’d been rude, and that wasn’t my style. It wasn’t how Mama had raised me. You don’t need money to have class, she always said. (Although now that we had money, she admitted having both was more fun.)
I supposed she’d be glad to know the lummox was here. So would Kevin, Wags, Jess, Kayla, and the rest of my team. I finished my glass of wine, picked up my phone, and sent a note to my brother.
I know you won’t get this for a while, but your big beardy babysitter arrived and refuses to leave. Congratulations, you won this round.
I also sent texts to my mom, Jess, Kayla, and Wags, filling them in and letting them know that while I wasn’t too happy about it, the guy was staying.
While my phone was still in my hand, I got a call from my dad. I nearly rejected it, but then I felt guilty. Maybe taking his call would serve as penance for telling Xander to bark like a dog.
“Hello?”
“Hey there, Pixie girl.”
It took me a second. “Duke?”
“Surprise.”
“Why are you calling me from my dad’s phone?”
“We got together for a beer tonight for old times’ sake. He said you’re on vacation up north by yourself. We’re both worried about you. Everything okay?”
“You got together for a beer with my dad?” The back of my neck prickled. My father had always been dazzled by Duke’s fame and money and success, and therefore in favor of our relationship, but I’d had no idea they were drinking buddies.
“We’ve kept in touch,” Duke said casually. “He reached out, said he was back in town, and I invited him over. We’ve had a nice time catching up.”
Of course, said a cynical voice in my head. Of course my father would keep in touch with my ex. Duke was probably giving him money for information about my whereabouts.
Thankfully, I hadn’t told my parents my exact location—only Jess knew that. She wouldn’t give Duke the time of day, let alone say anything about where I was. She’d been with me throughout the entire toxic relationship, and she couldn’t stand him.
“What do you want, Duke?”
“I’m worried about you, baby. You should have told me you wanted to go on vacation. I’d have taken you to the farm, or my place in the mountains. I remember how much you liked that house.”
“I’m good where I am.”
“But are you sure it’s safe there, sweetheart? Your dad told me about the trouble with the previous security team. Unbelievable. Didn’t PMG vet those guys?”
“Not well enough, apparently. I have to go, Duke.”
“That never would have happened if I’d been around. And who’s this military prick your brother hired to provide security on your trip?”
My blood simmered. Damn you, Daddy. “He’s not a prick. He’s a friend of Kevin’s.”
“Listen, when you get back, let’s get together, okay? I think this separation has gone on long enough.”
“It’s not a separation. We broke up.”
He laughed. “Come on, Pix. Nothing’s over ’til it’s over, you know?”
It’s over, Duke. It’s been over. But as usual, it was like talking to a brick wall. “Goodbye, Duke.”
I ended the call and sat there fuming for a minute. I didn’t know who I was more mad at—my father, for colluding with my ex; Duke, for using my father to get to me; Kevin, for sticking me with Xander; or Xander himself for refusing to leave me alone. It felt like they were all on the other side of the room conspiring against me. Everyone knew better than I did. Everyone wanted a say.
No one was in my corner.
But while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I had a thought—maybe one of them could be persuaded to join my side. Maybe Xander and I could make a deal.
Determined to play nice, I went out to the porch. The sky was dark, and it was cool enough to raise goose pimples on my arms. Xander still sat with his laptop open, his expression serious as he studied the screen. His bowl and fork were resting on the second rocking chair. I smiled—not only was the bowl empty, but licked clean. There wasn’t a single spot of tomato sauce left behind.
I hid a smile as I picked it up. “Did you like the pasta?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Still no eye contact.
“Look, Xander, I’m sorry about earlier.”
“No need to apologize.”
I stood in front of him, holding the bowl against my stomach. “I just wanted to be alone up here, have two weeks of vacation like a normal person, and it’s frustrating that no one will let me.”
“I understand.”
“And I’m guessing you don’t really want to be here either, what with your bar opening soon and all.”
He remained silent without looking up from his screen, so I assumed I was right—he didn’t want to be here any more than I wanted him around. He was only doing this for Kevin.
“But since I’m stuck with you and you’re stuck with me, maybe we could make a deal—you sort of leave me alone to do what I please, and I won’t make you sleep outside. You can have the couch.”
He finally shut the laptop and looked up at me. In the darkness, I couldn’t really read his eyes—what color were they again? Brown? He was very handsome, I had to admit. Strong jawline, thick dark hair, wide, sensual mouth. I just didn’t like what came out of it next.
“I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“That couch is really short.” He folded his arms across his tanker chest. “I’d probably be more comfortable outside anyway. Or,” he said, like he’d just thought of it, “in the bed.”
“The bed!” Heat flooded my face. “Where am I supposed to sleep?”
“We could share it,” he said, like it was obvious.
Outraged, I touched my collarbone, as if clutching my invisible pearls. “I’m not sharing my bed with you.”
“Why not?”
“You’re a complete stranger! Plus, you’re huge! You’d take up all the space!”
He smiled and shrugged those massive shoulders. “Then I guess we can’t make a deal.”
Infuriated, I yanked the door open and went back inside.
I stuck his dishes in the dishwasher, used the bathroom, and shut myself in my room, making sure to slam a door whenever I had the opportunity. I undressed, tugged on an old T-shirt, and got into bed. Then I waited, staring at the sloping ceiling in the dark, listening for him to come in and use the bathroom.
But instead of hearing the screen door creak open, I heard footsteps through the window above my head, as if he was heading into the woods behind the house. Without hesitation, I popped onto my knees and peered out the window over the bed, my fingertips and chin on the sill. Through the screen, I saw him loping toward a nearby tree just at the edge of the clearing. He stopped with his back to me, plainly visible in the moonlight from my window. Spread his legs.
I gasped. He wouldn’t.
I leaned closer to the screen, so close my nose touched it, so close I heard the zipper from his jeans going down.
Below the short sleeves of his dark T-shirt, his forearms and hands disappeared in front of him. I counted to twenty before I saw him do the shake, bobbing once on his heels before tucking himself back into his jeans and zipping up. When he turned around, he was facing me.
I dropped so fast, I banged my chin on the sill, then flopped onto my back, eyes wide open, heart pounding. Had he seen me watching him? No, it was completely dark in my room—he couldn’t see in, could he?
I listened to his fading footsteps on the gravel as he walked back to the front of the house. Then I heard him let himself in and shut the door.
After that, it was silent—he must have decided to take the couch.
I lay there, rubbing my smarting chin, wondering about the tall, ship-shouldered bodyguard with the dark hair, inked-up arms, and chiseled jaw. Questions poked at my brain.
Was he single? What did he look like naked? What was he like in bed? Was he hot but selfish? Eager but clueless? Slow and thorough? Fast and rough? Those big hands . . . did he know how to use them? Parts of my body began to tingle beneath the sheets, and I thought about the vibrator under my bed.
No way—I couldn’t risk it.
Instead, I grabbed my phone and Googled him. It took a bit of scrolling, but I finally found an article in a local paper about a former Navy SEAL named Xander Buckley who was restoring a decrepit old place called Tiki Tom’s into a high-end sports bar called Buckley’s Pub in the town of Cherry Tree Harbor. There were a few quotes from Xander and his brother, Austin, who was helping him with the renovation, and a photo of the two of them as well. I zoomed in, studying them both.
They looked alike, although Xander was smiling broadly for the camera and Austin had a more serious expression. Xander was also a little taller and broader through the back and shoulders. I wondered if his brother was older or younger, and if they were close. I wondered if Cherry Tree Harbor was home to him, and how far away it was. I wondered how well Kevin knew him and why my brother trusted him so much. Was it possible I could trust him too? I glanced at the empty space beside me.
Suddenly weary from the long day, I set my phone aside and lay back. As I drifted off to sleep, one last question popped into my head.
There were literally a hundred trees surrounding this place.
Had he chosen the one closest to my bedroom on purpose?