Hidden Passion

"Let's go to the canteen together, Lillian," Dorcas said in her friend's huge office the next morning. "Yeah, let me round up," Lilian said.

"Oookaaay," her friend drawled with a big smile and sat before her.

Lillian eyed her playfully. "What is wrong with you this morning? You are so happy," she observed.

"Of course. I am all giddy. How did you know? Is it that obvious?"

Lillian laughed. "It's so obvious that even the blind would be able to see it."

"I'm just in a good mood, that's all."

Lillian smiled and nodded as her desk phone went off. She picked it up and uttered into the receiver, "I will be on my way now," and then faced Dorcas. "Go without me, babe. I have a meeting to attend. I will just round up some things here on my desk and head out," she informed.

"Okay. Bye, then. Take care," Dorcas muttered and sashayed out of the office.

Lillian finished some minutes later, took her phones and purse and was about to head out when she heard someone knocked. "Yes, come in," she ordered and glanced up to see Nath making his way into the room.

What did he want this time?

"It seems to me that you are heading out," Nath stated after he had said his greetings.

"As you can see. What do you want?" She sounded harsh outside, but on the inside, she was very calm and all giddy.

"Lilly" She made a face, reminding him not to call her that. "Sorry, I mean Lillian. Why are you so cold towards me? You talk to me as if we've met before and I have done something wrong to you," his voice was gentle, but Lillian could feel his anger. Well, who wouldn't be angry at being despised for no reason? She knew he was trying so much not to flare up at her.

She made no reply. She could only look away when she felt tears surfacing. She shouldn't cry. She must not cry. Not in his presence. It hurt like hell, but she had to be strong.

"Lillian, I only want us to be friends," Nath declared. He somehow felt some sort of connection toward the lady. He knew he didn't know her before, but he was more than willing to get to know her more.

"I am sorry, but I don't want to make friends with my best friend's boyfriend," she threw her words at him and he was shocked.

What was she talking about? Boyfriend what? If that's why she wasn't considering him, then he had got some explanations to do. So, he opened his mouth. "What do you mean boyf-" he was saying when she cut in.

"Look, I don't want to listen to you. Just leave," she blurted, but all was a lie. She actually wouldn't mind him talking all day while she listens.

"Why are you like this, Lilly?" Saying that nickname wasn't intentional, but not correcting himself was. He had come to love that name. Come to think of it, that was what he usually called his Lillian.

Now, he didn't get the reason she was mad at him. Why would she just be angry at him? He did not even know why he was yearning to be close to her. He couldn't explain what he was feeling. He really missed his Lillian.

"Because I. Hate. You," Lillian spelt out for him and he seemed to be really taken aback. With his expression, even a blind man could tell he was not expecting that out of all excuses.

I love you, Nath. I didn't mean that she thought. "I hate you," she repeated, inwardly praising herself for not shedding tears. She was acting cool, but this was breaking her inside.

"What!" He was still shocked, and he didn't bother hiding it.

"Didn't you hear me clearly? I don't like you, period. Will you leave now?"

"Yes, I will," his voice was calm but broken. He started moving toward her while she stepped backward at each step he took. He stopped in front of her when she couldn't go back anymore, thanks to her desk. He leaned forward and placed a purse on the desk. "That's for Dorcas. She forgot it at my house the night she slept over," he informed and saw her eyes widen.

Dorcas spent a night in his house. She knew that it was not her business. Lovers spent nights at each other's houses, but she must admit she was jealous. "Get out," she spat.

"Kindly deliver the purse to her. She was not in the studio when I checked," he mentioned and started to leave. He got out and closed the door behind him. He was hurt. He didn't know why but what Lilian said to him hurt him. Was he supposed to be hurt with that? It was not like they knew each other before.

Lillian went to sit on her chair behind the desk and started yowling. She closed the blinds and turned off the lights. She sobbed and continued sobbing.

"Nath, come back, please. Don't leave me," she yowled. "I love you so much, you fool! Why don't you see that? Why can't you recognize me? Nath, come back, I love you," she sobbed, and her tears rained on her trouser, making her thighs damp.

The phone on her desk rang but she didn't pick it up. It was probably a call for the meeting. She continued to cry for him to come back. She cried all the way she wanted to. No one would hear her; the walls were soundproofed. Nor could anyone see her since the blinds had been closed.

She blamed herself for being harsh on him. He obviously did not like it. He only wanted them to be friends, but could she endure and be his friend? Wouldn't that be better than this worse relationship? She had turned into his enemy now even though she did not want that. She had made him believe that was her choice. He would not even talk to her anymore, she was sure of that.

She had lied that she hated him. What kind of a man would still want to associate with such a person when he only had good intentions in mind.

She should have heard him out, too but she didn't. Was that for the best?

She yowled and yowled until her tear gland was left with no water to rain. She raised her head up from the desk and muttered to herself, "I hate you, Lillian."