novelxo Heartless: Chapter 33
Summer: Dude. Where are you, and why is Cade rage-landscaping his front yard with broken fingers?
Willa: I’m at my place in the city. Is he okay?
Summer: I don’t know. There’s a lot of sweating and grunting. It seems a little bit like his shovel has done something to offend him.
Willa: Can you just keep an eye on him? I’m worried about him.
Summer: Fuck no. But Rhett can. I’m coming to your place with a bottle of champagne.
Willa: It’s not going to be a champagne kind of visit.
Summer: Don’t be a downer.
Willa: Sorry. But I’m going to be a downer for approximately the next nine months.
Summer: Oh shit. On my way. I’ll grab ingredients to bake cookies.
“When is the appointment?” Summer mumbles around a mouthful of warm cookie.
“Tomorrow.” I can’t even eat the cookies I made. I feel sick and it has nothing to do with being pregnant.
“Are you worried?” Concern laces her every feature.
“About what? I’m pretty sure a blood test will only confirm what I already know.”
She nods. “I saw your bathroom garbage is full of a bunch of what you already know. How many tests did you buy?”
“Twenty.”
“Seems reasonable.” She nods, taking another bite.
“I wanted to be sure.”
“How did you even manage to pee that much?”
I chuckle at that. Leave it to my best friend to pick out some inane detail and fixate on it. “So much water. I think I’m hydrated for at least a week now. Remember when I drank way too much Jägermeister and got super sick?”
She laughs now. “Yeah. You barfed in the cab and the cabby asked if you’d been drinking Jägermeister because the entire car smelled like it.”
I shudder. “I’ve still never had another sip of it because of that. Anyway, feeling like that about water right now.”
“Are you nauseous?”
“A bit,” I concede. “But I don’t think it’s hormonal.”
“Is it Cade?”
“Yeah. And Luke. I’m worried about them. I miss them and it’s been all of a day since I left. I shouldn’t be this dependent on him. I should be able to handle a day away from him without missing him so much that it makes me feel sick. I can’t even sleep,” I growl in frustration.
Summer smiles softly at me, reaching over to push some hair behind my ear. “Wils, welcome to being in love.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and flop my head back against the couch. “This is the worst fucking feeling. Why do people like being in love again? Obsessed and emotional and clingy. Overrated, if you ask me.”
“I know you’re joking because that’s what you do when you’re upset.”
“Jesus. Have you and Cade been conspiring against me or something? Why are you both always pointing this out about me? Just let me have my quirks, okay?”
“It’s okay to feel sad, Willa. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s definitely okay to need a couple of days alone to digest. But you can overthink this too. You can turn it inside out until it looks like something different than what it is.”
I hold my hands over my face, feeling tears leak out against them. “What is it? I don’t even know.”
Summer rubs my back because she is some sort of angel sent to planet Earth. A better person than the vast majority of us. “I don’t know what it is. But from where I’m sitting, it’s two smart loving adults who are navigating a curve ball in the best way they know how.”
A sob racks my body.
“It’s two people who were both a little lost until they ended up on the same path and walked together for a while.”
I drop my head, openly crying now. I think Summer is trying to make me weep.
“It’s two people who are happier in each other’s company than they are alone.” Now I can hear the tears in her voice too. “Better together than they are apart.”
I turn to hug her now, wondering if I can blame the uncontrollable way I’m crying on my hormones.
“Just don’t make him wait too long, Wils,” she whispers against my ear. “He is heartbroken without you.”
The way she emphasizes heartbroken is my undoing. I soak the shoulder of her shirt, because the truth of the matter is I thought I needed space . . .
But I’m heartbroken without him too.