Heartless: A Small Town Single Dad Romance

Cade: Be a gentleman.

Lance: Lol. Cade. Relax. You know I’ll take care of your nanny.

Cade: One hair out of place and I’ll kill you.

Lance: What about multiple hairs?

Cade: Are you fucking kidding me right now? You got a death wish?

Lance: You’re the idiot who let her go.

Ihate myself. I want to take it back and throw Willa over my shoulder and drag her home with me.

Where she belongs.

But I pushed her off on a perfectly nice guy because I’ve convinced myself that fucking the nanny is out of bounds.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to know I’m the issue. My insecurities are the issue. If I couldn’t make a small-town woman—who was my age and desperately wanted me—happy, how the hell can I make a woman like Willa happy?

When Talia left, it was a blow to my ego. I wish I could say I missed her, but it was more about the fact she chose other men over me. That I lost somehow. That I didn’t measure up. My heart wasn’t in it, but I tried my ass off anyway.

But with Willa, my heart is in it. I don’t want it to be, but it is.

God, I tried so hard to dislike her, because liking her would lead to enjoying her. And after weeks stuck in the same house, watching her be the closest thing my son has ever had to a real mother, I’m worried enjoying her has turned into caring about her.

And I have no clue what to do with that. I’ve never properly loved a woman before. Never wanted one like this.

“I’ll give her one more chance at water!” Rhett calls as he stalks away with a bucket.

“Thanks!” I mumble back before letting out a ragged sigh and checking inside my truck. Luke is already asleep in the air-conditioned cab. Clearly, the excitement of the day caught up with him. Willa always keeps him so active that he’s dog-tired at the end of the day.

Willa is too good to us.

“You were killer out there today.” Jasper leans against the side of my trailer, staring at me with a small smirk on his lips. “Didn’t even look that old from where I was sitting.”

I shake my head. “Just wait until you start sucking at hockey. I have so many old-man jokes stocked away for you. And for Beau, when he finally retires.”

“You heard from him?” Jasper asks, looking hopeful.

“Nah. Nothing lately. Wish I knew where that doofus was.”

“Yeah. Not knowing is the worst part.” We share an anxious look. Sending Beau away never gets any easier on any of us. My dad included.

“You’re really dumb, you know?” His eyes flit up as he rapidly changes the topic of conversation.

I scoff. “Is this the opening line of another old-man joke?”

“Not unless getting older means sending away one of the best things that’s ever happened to you with another man who isn’t too dumb to see it.”

I feel the tightness in my chest and the ache at the back of my throat. I don’t know if that ache means I’m angry, sad, or if it’s just the spot where all the words I want to say get caught in a stranglehold.

“Got something to say, Jasper?”

His head tilts, his blue eyes taking on a slightly vicious expression. The one I only get a peek of from behind his goalie mask. The one that made me want to get up at five a.m. and drive his pimply teenaged ass to practices, because a man with a look like that in his eye doesn’t lose.

He was special and I knew it.

I needed another sibling to take care of like I needed a hole in the head, but Jasper was meant to be with us, not his shit parents. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“The only thing I’m going to say is that you’ve spent the last, what, thirty years making sure everyone else is happy? You’ve been dutiful beyond compare. Reliable. Selfless. Responsible. You deserve to be happy too, Cade.”

Responsible. That word follows me around like the plague. It haunts my dreams at night.

Fucking responsible.

He turns his massive frame and ambles away to whatever fancy SUV he drives now.

“You coming to the reunion?” I call out, not totally sure what to say to him. The guy is quiet all the time and then hits me with that shit.

“Wouldn’t miss it!” he calls back without even looking at me.

“You roping?”

He lets out a deep, amused hum. “Nope, I would never do that.”

Every year he refuses to admit that he’s going to rope. Something about riding horses being not allowed in his contract. Along with motorbikes, sky diving, and using fireworks.

But every year, I saddle him a horse, and every year he gets on. No one talks about it, but the kid can still throw one hell of a lasso.

Rhett waters Blueberry and then gives her a kind pat. “Way to show up the fancy horses, Blue. That’s the Eaton way.”

I watch through the window of my trailer, but Rhett catches me. “You’re lucky she tolerates you.” He chucks his chin at me as he says it.

“Blue?” I ask.

My brother shakes his head and turns away to toss the bucket of water out of the trailer while I latch up the doors. I’m still waiting for him to respond to my question but the asshole doesn’t.

For all the years he’s spent running his mouth, he’s got nothing to say to me right now.

“See you at home?” I call out as he heads over to Jasper’s vehicle.

“Yup.” He waves over his shoulder.

“Tell Summer to keep those goddamn snakeskin boots to herself!” I call, hoping to engage him. I’d rather argue with Rhett than get his cold shoulder. He’s spent his entire life bitching at me, and I want him to keep going.

When he gets to the passenger’s side door, he turns and glares back at me, a faint tip to his lips. “I don’t tell Summer what to do. Wouldn’t listen if I tried. That’s the best kind of woman if you ask me.” He winks and hops in with Jasper. They peel away with a wave, and I’m sure they’ll gossip like little biddies about me on their drive back to Chestnut Springs.

The ladies in town have nothing on them.

Assholes.

Luke is still asleep when I hop in the truck, which means it’s just me and my vicious thoughts on the drive.

Me and my regrets.

Luke wakes when we hit the gravel roads and begs to spend the night with Grandpa, like a psycho toy that got plugged in for an hour after running out of batteries and is now charged and ready to terrorize more adults.

I drop him off. Love him as I do, I’m not in the mood to play and be fun.

When I get home, there’s no laughter. There’s no music. There’s no Willa and Luke dancing and singing in the kitchen while cookies bake in the oven.

It’s quiet. And I’m lonely.

Deeply lonely.

And angry I sent her away. Angry she’s having fun with another guy right now. Multiple guys probably.

I drop my bag and start cleaning to busy myself, scouring corners that no one will ever see. Scrubbing to take out my frustration, to keep away the jealousy that is scorching me from the inside out. It’s raging through my veins, searing every nerve ending.

It’s fucking consuming.

When my hands hurt, I stop and take a shower. My dick is hard, but I’m too pissed off to jerk it, so when I get back out, I’m more agitated.

Stomping around my house, I opt to pour myself a bourbon and go sit on the front porch. I know why I’m going there, but I refuse to admit it. I tell myself the view is good from here, but when I take a seat on the top step and glance to the side, I see little doodles painted on the railings. Suns and stars. Happy faces and XOXO.

And hearts.

Willa drew hearts on my front porch, and now I’m stuck sitting here, drowning in the thought that the real reason I’m out here is that I’m waiting for her to get home.

I’m too sick with jealousy to do anything else.