Gypsy Lover

Alodia literally jumped back because of it. Her hand was on her breast. She turned and walked away from him, as fast as she could. But Harman followed her and held her arm tightly. "Will you stop running away from me? If you do, I'll still follow you around. You know that!" he said in a hard tone.

She looked at him with desperation in her eyes. She thought he was just one of those men that she left with a broken heart. She would let them fall in love with her and leave them high and dry, and then, she was on her merry way. "How could you still follow me around when I've already left you? I already threw you away like garbage!" But actually, he was like a shadow that she wanted to get rid of. She had her own reasons besides her revenge on men. "Yes, I even asked myself that same question. Why am I doing this? You killed me when you left me. My heart died that day. And now, it's like I'm a dead man walking!" his heartfelt confession. "But it's curious because I feel that I love you even more, Alodia..."

"I left you, Harman!" she said again. "Don't you get it? I don't want you anymore! That's why I left!" she angrily told him, eyes flashing at him.

His eyes were now merely slits. His grip became tighter, and she tried hard not to even groan in pain or wince. She won't let him see the pain he was causing her! Because she did not want to let him see that there was another thing that was more painful than his holding her tightly by the arm.

"Yes, that is what I was going to ask you all this time! Why? Why did you leave me? What did I do wrong? Was it because of Laili? What did she tell you that made you run away and leave me without even bothering to tell me?" he admonished. His lips became a thin line, nostrils flaring.

She swallowed hard and glanced away. She did not want him to read something in her sorrowful eyes. He might detect something she wanted to hide from him. The truth...

"Laili? She had nothing to do with this. I just left because I was through playing with you, Harman. All those times, I was just playing a game with you that you weren't even aware of. The truth was that I wanted to avenge my sister's death. I wanted to hurt men just the way my sister felt the hurt when her boyfriend treated her like a damn, thoughtless, unfeeling toy! I hate men!" she revealed, looking at him with hatred as if she was seeing Emerson instead of him. That was who she was trying to picture out to get her hatred to surface out and so that he could see her real feeling at the moment.

Little by little, he let go of her arm. He stepped away from her with disbelief written in his eyes, shaking his head. "No, I don't believe you."

"That's the truth! You should leave me alone, Harman!" she said with anger in her eyes. She did not mind the other people who were now watching the scene they made. The hell with them anyway!

"You're such a bitch! I shouldn't have fallen for you so hard like the way I did... until now... But I just don't know why I'm still in love with you all these years... hoping to find you again... hoping to build our relationship back again... hoping against all odds that you're going to come back into my life..." he said with hurt showing on his face.

She swallowed again while she put her tears in check. No! Don't you ever show up even just for once. Please!

"I'll never come back into your life, Harman." She shook her head to emphasize it. "Just... stick it in your mind... in your heart... You and I are never meant to be. What happened between us, that was just it. So, leave me alone!" she said in a small voice and turned away to walk away from him, fast. She did not want to let him see how she suffered.

Why was he still hoping that they could get back together if he already married Laili? Was there a divorce for Romani people just in case? Her mind was asking like she was asking and hoping against hope that they could still be together in the end...

Well, wishful thinking, Alodia. Her mind was now mocking her.

But I'm still in love with him and I'm hoping that... Another voice in her head was saying that almost made her trip. She deliberately trailed off with that thought.

She bit her lower and tears started to crawl down her chilled cheeks.

She took a bus back to her employer's residence. Her mind was filled with the memory of her and Harman's past. She kept wiping off her tears with the back of her gloved hand, ignoring other passengers' concerned stares.

What Harman told her made her backpedal somehow. He searched for her everywhere all these years. That was quite something. She just knew he loved her so much but they could never be together. She had to shove it up her brain. Her heart has no place for him, though it was a big fat lie. He occupied all of it a long time ago and she left it with him. She had nothing left for her to give to him. And certainly, her life was not meant for him

A low sob escaped her throat, making her seatmate look at her. The old woman gave her a piece of tissue, which she accepted and murmured her thanks in Romanian.

The old lady blabbered something that she barely listened to. She just tried to console her whatever she was feeling now and that it would go away in time.

Yeah, I was hoping that. But it wasn't three years a long time already? she bitterly thought and was lost in another memory.