Fury Focused

Ashlyn sat on the couch after offering me something to drink. She looked less sad now. The dark circles that had shadowed under her eyes during the first week following her uncle’s death were gone. Yet, I still saw hints of sorrow in her expression. It would likely linger for a long while. I couldn’t imagine how it must feel to be still living in this place after losing her family twice.

I took a seat across from her.

“I’m sorry we haven’t had time to talk much,” I said. “How have you been?”

“Good. Well, not good. But better. I like having Eugene, Zoe, and Kelsey here. Camil and I didn’t talk much even though we were close to the same age.”

I recalled the girl who I’d found dead in the dumpster and felt a pang of regret that things hadn’t changed in Uttira quickly enough to help her.

“How are they adjusting, in your opinion?” I asked.

“Eugene is embracing all of this. Kelsey and Zoe are taking it in. I think they’re still deciding what to do.”

“I wish the Council would just give them enough money to improve their lives and let them go.”

Ashlyn snorted.

“Your heart’s in the right place, but all the money in the world wouldn’t stop what would happen to them. They have no parents. No guaranteed safety net. No one to protect them from all the harsh things out there. After living here, you should know the human world that you saw isn’t what it really is. There are predators out there that will feed on the forgotten and unattached.”

A shiver ran through me, a nudge of anger that didn’t really have a source.

“Are you okay?” she asked. “Your eyes just flickered orange.”

“You’re safe; but no, I’m not okay. The talk of predators stoked the fires that have been kindling inside me since your uncle’s death. There’s an itch to do something about all of it. But, I’m stuck here.” I leaned forward slightly. “Do you know anything about the Isle of Woe?” I asked.

“No. What is it?”

“It’s an island in the center of the lake. There’s an oracle that lives there, I guess.”

Her expression changed to suspicion.

“Who told you that?”

“I overheard some mermaids talking.”

She shook her head.

“Don’t believe anything they tell you. They will do whatever they can to get you into their waters. It’s probably a trap.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. You’re my best source of actual information when it comes to mermaids. What happens when they get you in the water?”

“I don’t know. Previous humans, who’ve gone in, haven’t come back. Ever.”

It was the same thing that Oanen had said. My outrage poked my fury anger, but nothing happened.

“I need to get to the oracle. Do you have any tips for me?”

“Yeah, don’t do it. As soon as you put a boat on the lake, the mermaids will try to tip it. You saw what happens when they get you in their water.”

“And you saw what I do.”

She studied me for a moment.

“You’ll need some extra weight in the boat to make it harder to tip. Some weapons to deter them wouldn’t hurt either. Probably a change of clothes. If it’s any amount of distance, you’re going to go in. More and more mermaids will swarm the boat, and they’ll work together. The sheer number will eventually tip you over.”

I thought about it and nodded. I wasn’t human. Even though I’d been hurt the one time I went in, they couldn’t seem to hurt me permanently. Was it a risk I was willing to take? I thought of Oanen’s burnt face and missing eyebrows. Yes. It was.

“When are you thinking of going?” Ashlyn asked.

“Soon,” I said. “Oanen’s trying to find my mom. He already checked her old address, and she isn’t there. Everything’s gone. This is my backup plan. I need answers, Ashlyn.”

“Whenever you do go, start out at dawn. They aren’t as active. And, promise to text me before you leave. I won’t try to stop you; but if something goes wrong, the Quills will need to know where to start looking.”

“Fair enough. Just make sure to give me a full day before raising the alarm.”

My phone beeped. I tossed aside the kitchen towel and checked the message. My heart thumped seeing it was another one from Oanen. He had been updating me on the progress of his search for my mom over the last three days, and none of it had been good so far. Being apart from him for this long might have been tolerable if he were at least finding clues about where my mom might have gone. But he wasn’t.

Each day, the need for him grew stronger, and I worried about what would happen when I finally did see him again. I felt so unstable inside. I needed answers. I needed Oanen so much it hurt to breathe. And, that worried me.

Struggling to stay calm, I read the message. It didn’t bring any better news than the last one.

Cali is another dead end.

I wanted to swear. Instead I typed out a relaxed message.

All right. Thank you for checking it.

How are you holding up? Want Eliana to take you to the Roost tonight?

I’d been stuck in the house for days. Truthfully, I was going stir crazy. But the last thing I wanted was a crowd of people and thumping music. I wanted to get the hell out of this damn town and strangle my mother. But I couldn’t tell Oanen any of that, or he’d fly right back to me.

The thought of seeing him made my heart race in excitement, and for the briefest of moments, I considered telling him to come home. The memory of his burnt face stopped me. So, I lied.

I’m doing okay. Just finished the lunch dishes. Not really in the mood for the Roost. Fenris would probably be there in all of his hugging glory.

I felt bad using Fenris as an excuse, but I didn’t want Oanen to make a call to Eliana despite my reassurances I was fine. Hopefully, his suggestion had nothing to do with what he might feel from me and had more to do with how well he knew me.

I miss you. I’ll be home soon, he replied. A second later, another text came through.

We’ll do some more research and try again in a few days.

My heart started to race in earnest. He was coming home? I squashed the panic and kept my reply cool.

Sounds good. I miss you, too.

And I did. So badly that I wasn’t sleeping well at night. Mostly because of dreams where I was burning down the town. Sometimes Eliana was in the way. Sometimes Ashlyn or Fenris. Oanen was never in the way, though. Even in my dreams, I knew he was gone.

I grabbed my jacket and locked up as I left. I’d held off on my plans for the lake in hopes that Oanen would find my mom. That hope was now dead. With Oanen on his way home, the time had come for me to get serious about finding the Isle of Woe and the oracle.

First thing I needed to do was check the boat I saw at the lake.

The drive didn’t take long. I managed to arrive just before dark. The boat I’d spotted on the previous trip to the lake still sat off to the side, buried under a few inches of snow. After I brushed it off, I walked around it, looking for holes. It appeared solid. There were oars and even a life vest under it.

I took a picture and sent it with a message to Ashlyn.

How sturdy is this boat?

Her reply only took a few moments.

It’s sturdy. That’s one of the rules. The mermaids can’t sabotage the boat before it gets in the water. You’re not leaving now, are you? It’s too dangerous at night.

No. Not leaving now. I’m checking it for tomorrow. I’ll let you know for sure when I leave.

She didn’t answer.

I checked the boat one more time then got back in my car for the drive home. On my way through town, I picked up three times my weight in water softener salt. The clerk didn’t say anything, but I could see the curiosity in her eyes.

When my house came into view and I saw a light, for a brief moment anticipation exploded inside of me. Oanen. He was home. The thought had barely formed before I realized how impossible that would be unless he’d suddenly developed the ability to open portals like Adira. Flying would take him a few days to get back.

Eliana sat at my kitchen table when I walked in. Her expression sent a bolt of fear through me. I stopped just inside the door, afraid that whatever news she had would upset me enough that I would hurt her.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen to Oanen?”

She stood and put her hands on her hips, scowling at me.

“No, you idiot. Something’s going to happen to you. What are you thinking, going out on that lake alone after what we heard in the hall?”

Relief coursed through me. The fire that had scorched in my middle didn’t cool, though.

“You didn’t tell Oanen, did you?”

“No, because I’m going to talk you out of it before he even gets here.”

“That’s why I need to do this, Eliana. I can see your face turning red and know it’s not anger. It’s the heat rolling off of me. What do you think is going to happen to Oanen when he comes back? He’s going to want to see me; and no matter how much I’m trying not to be, I’m desperate to see him. Every time I think of him I get warmer. He won’t stay away because he’ll feel how much I need him. Do you see the problem? I’m going to cook him like a Thanksgiving turkey. I need to go to the lake. I need to try to get answers. I need Oanen to be okay when he sees me next.”

She exhaled heavily and dropped her hands to her sides.

“I know. I just need you to be okay, too, and I don’t trust those mermaids.”

“Neither do I. I have a ton of salt in my trunk. Ashlyn said to weight the boat, and I figure I can throw it in their faces if they try to tip me.”

“Good. We’ll stop and pick up some vinegar tomorrow morning, too. It’ll burn them like the salt.”

“We?”

“You’re not doing this alone.”

The heat slowly eased up as I faced my friend.

“You’re amazing, and I love you,” I said.

She grinned and crossed the room to wrap me in a hug. All the build up from the week slowly faded away as I returned her embrace.

“You’re going to make me fat,” she said, her head resting on my shoulder.

I snorted.

“I thought I was empty calories.”

She giggled. “You are.”

When I was pleasantly drained, she pulled away.

“Did you eat dinner yet?” she asked.

“No.”

While she and I made sandwiches, she asked questions.

“What time are we leaving? How long do you think it’ll take us to get to the Isle? And what’s the plan for when the mermaids get us in the water? Because, according to Ashlyn, that will happen.”

I looked at Eliana.

“You’re making my Grinch-size heart grow way too big. I love that you’re willing to go with me, but you can’t.”

She started to frown, and I held up a hand.

“Hear me out.”

“I’m listening,” she said.

“Did Oanen tell you what happened at the pool?”

She shook her head.

“He didn’t say where you guys went or anything when he came back. Just went up to his room.” She gave me a sheepish look. “I could tell he was hurt and had new burns, though.”

“Well, I took Oanen to the pool, thinking the water might be the answer to me not burning him when we touch.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work.”

“It might have if the merbitch hadn’t talked a siren into singing for us. Needless to say, things got hot. Whatever’s inside of me just exploded out. It sent Oanen flying. I could hear him hit the side of the pool even under water. I can’t even imagine what would have happened to him if we hadn’t been submerged.” I held her gaze, silently pleading with her to understand. “I’m dangerous. I don’t want to be, but I am. If they get me in the water, I’ll get mad. I won’t be able to control what happens, and anyone in the water with me will get hurt.”

“So that’s your plan? Boil the mermaids?”

“I don’t think it’s a plan as much as a foregone conclusion. It’s not like I’ve ever made myself intentionally hot. It just happens with anger and passion.”

She flushed at the word passion but nodded.

“It makes sense. The two emotions are very closely related.” She smiled slightly. “It makes you taste good.”

I laughed hard.

“You pervy little succubus. I’m your personal fury snack shack.”

Her smile slowly faded as we brought our plates to the table.

“What if you go in and you don’t get hot? They might get close enough to hurt you. What if your furnace doesn’t work when you’re hurt?”

I shook my head as she took her first bite.

“First, I think my furnace works harder when I’m hurt. Second, if I go in, it’s going to piss me off. I hate lake water. It’s gross. Once I’m in it, I don’t think they’ll be able to get close. At the pool, my heat dried me within seconds of getting out of the water. The merbitch was in the pool with us, but she never got close. I think it’s because I made the water too hot around me. My heat will be my personal protection bubble.”

She held out her hand.

“Phone please.”

I gave my phone over and ate my sandwich as I watched her install an app.

“What’s that for?” I asked when she gave it back.

“I’m still going with you to the lake. But I’ll stay on the shore and watch your progress on my phone. That app will track you. You should probably put your phone in a baggie before you get into the boat.”

She had a valid point.

“And we should probably pack you a lunch and something to drink,” she added.

I lay in my bed, quietly contemplating the hairline cracks in my ceiling while trying to ignore the faint scent of scorch rising from my sheets.

After Eliana called the Quills to let them know she planned to spend the night, we’d packed my provisions and sealed up my phone. With nothing else to do, we’d gone to bed early so we could wake well before dawn and head into town for the vinegar Eliana wanted me to take.

Even though there was nothing left to do at the moment but sleep, I couldn’t stop thinking.

What if there was no island? What if what we’d overheard and the map in the library was just some big prank to get me into the water, like Ashlyn said? Or, what if the island was real, but there was no oracle there?

The scent of scorch increased. If there was no oracle, there’d be no answers. Without answers, Oanen was as good as stuffed and served on a platter.

A scuff of noise preceded Eliana’s entry. She wore a long, white virginal gown that made me grin.

“You need to sleep,” she said, shooing me over.

I moved over for her and she laid down on top of the covers, facing me. She reached up and stroked my hair. It wasn’t skin contact, but I could still feel her pull my worry.

“Just until you fall asleep,” she said softly.

I closed my eyes and drifted off within minutes. My mind didn’t stop its tormented thoughts, though.

I searched through storm swept seas, looking for an island. What I found was something that made my chest squeeze with fear. A mountain made of red jagged glass rose up from the water. Waves crashed upon the spiked shards, and the water turned to blood. Without a choice, I drifted to the shores.

When I woke, I was alone and there was blood on my pillow. Enough to leave it more red than the cream color it had been when I’d gone to sleep. I hated that I didn’t know what I was becoming. It fed the rage that was building inside of me. Even alone, I wanted to strike out at something.

Staying quiet so as to not wake Eliana, I made my way downstairs and checked the time on my phone. Eliana’s alarm wouldn’t go off for another thirty minutes. Needing some time to myself, I went to the bathroom in hope that a shower would cool me off. However, I caught sight of my face in the mirror and only got hotter.

Dried blood flaked on my cheeks and crusted on the skin around my eyes.

“If I ever see my mom again, I’m going to throat punch her for taking off like she did. This is bullshit,” I said to myself in the bathroom mirror.

After a shower, which only made me feel marginally better, I dressed and went to make us breakfast. I slid the second omelet onto the plate just as Eliana came downstairs.

She smiled at me, looking much too chipper first thing in the morning.

“Morning,” she said.

I rolled my eyes at her and set our plates on the table.

“What? Didn’t you sleep well after I left?”

“Not really.”

“I’m sorry. I would have stayed longer, but it’s not safe for me to feed after I get really tired.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just being away from Oanen. Sleeping is getting harder. My dreams are so weird. Last night, I was dreaming that I was already out on the water looking for the island. When I found it, it wasn’t what I expected. I was thinking a small bit of green land with sandy shores. What I found in my dreams was a mountain of glass covered in blood. I knew I had to go there and sacrifice myself to get the answers.”

Eliana paled. “I don’t like this.”

“It’s fine. It was just a dream,” I said.

“I’ve only been here a few years, but I’ve already caught on to something very important. Nothing is ‘just’ anything here. There’s hidden meanings, hidden agendas, hidden everything.”

“So you’re saying I should wear boots?”

She shook her head slowly.

“Your dream, if it is something, won’t be anything that obvious. Just be careful, and don’t be afraid to come back without answers.”

We finished up our breakfast and got to town to buy out their supply of vinegar with ten minutes to spare according to Eliana’s timetable.

“We need to get that boat loaded with salt, yet,” she said as she pulled out of the parking lot.

“The bags aren’t heavy. We’ll be fine.”

She gave me a worried glance.

“It was just a dream,” I said for the umpteenth time. “I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Yes, you should have. We’re friends, and we don’t keep things from each other, right?”

I thought of Fenris and felt a brief stab of guilt.

“Telling you only made you worry more. It didn’t change anything else. And seeing you worry now is making me feel like a jerk.”

“You aren’t a jerk. I would have worried no matter what. And it did change plans, remember? If we get to the lake and the mermaids are already stirring, you’re going to bail.”

“Right. But Ashlyn said they are never up this early. When Trammer tried taking her fishing at dawn, the fish folk had complained that their kids weren’t getting a fair chance. It’ll be fine.”

She exhaled hugely and nodded. However, she didn’t look any less settled when we pulled into the parking lot.

We worked in silence to unload the car and carry the supplies to the dock. The moon barely lit our path, and the brisk wind had Eliana shivering within minutes. She didn’t complain, and I didn’t try to tell her to wait in the car. When we had everything ready, we team lifted the boat and carried it to the water’s edge. The gentle waves lapped at the wood vessel, the sound seeming loud in the otherwise quiet, predawn light.

Eliana glanced at the water for a long moment. I did the same. Nothing moved.

Grabbing the first bag of salt, I carried it to the boat and ripped the top open. Bag by bag, we filled the bottom of the boat with almost four hundred pounds of salt.

“That doesn’t seem like enough,” Eliana said softly.

“It’ll be fine.”

She nodded and watched me put my bag with my clothes, food, water, and phone into the boat. When I finished, I turned to her. She was on me before I could blink, wrapping me in the tightest hug yet.

“Be safe and come back,” she said.

“I will. I promise.”

She released me and watched as I climbed into the boat. The salt crunched under my feet with each step, and the boat rocked slightly as I sat. The lapping noises of the water had us both looking out over the expanse.

We waited like that as orange slowly painted over the sky’s pre-dawn blue. As soon as the sun broke the cusp of the horizon, Eliana stepped forward and put her hands on the bow.

“If you see anything, turn back,” she reminded me softly.

I nodded and eased the oars into their holders. She nudged me out into the water, careful not to step into the lake with her last push.

Carefully dipping the oars in the water, I gave my first experimental stroke to direct the boat backward. It was a little awkward the first go and Eliana chewed on her bottom lip as she watched me. But, the second one went much smoother. The sounds of oars softly slapping the surface and the slight thunk of the things holding the oars in place were carried away by the wind.

Eliana lifted her phone and glanced at the screen before giving me a thumbs-up. She was tracking me, and I wasn’t even ten feet from shore. I shook my head at her and glanced at the water around me.

The sight of a face just below the surface almost made me yip. The mermaid’s green hair drifted around her face as she smiled at me. Beneath the surface, something zipped toward us from her right. From the corner of my eye, I caught more movement to her left.

Instead of focusing on what it was, I looked up at Eliana and gave her a quick wave and smile, doing my best impression of a girl in a boat not surrounded by mermaids.

In three more strokes, I passed the end of the pier and headed out into open water.