Forgive us

At 7 years old Macey was taken by her big brother to say goodbye to her mum. Her mum, her best friend, had battled stage four breast cancer for 18 months and it seemed like she had finally started to lose the fight. Macey was devastated like the rest of her family. Her mum was the glue that held the entire family together.

Roseanne had fought with everything she had. They had spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on different treatments to try to beat cancer but nothing seemed to work. She was exhausted and in pain. She hated having to leave her kids but her husband had promised he would look after them. He had promised her to keep her legacy alive by being the best father he could be to their four children. She had called all her children to the hospital to say her goodbyes and gift them with something. She had organised individual gifts for all her children once they turned 18. She wanted them to have something to remember her by especially Macey who had the least amount of time with her mother. She had written letters for Macey for all the things she was going to miss out on like her first day of high school, her first period, her first boyfriend, her first heartbreak, getting engaged, getting married and her first child. She had those in a box for her daughter.

When they pulled up to the hospital, Macey didn't want to get out of the car. She didn't want to see her mum so sick. "Come on Mace, Mum is waiting for us," Asher said to his sister. "I am scared Ash," Macey told her brother. "I know, but we are all here Mace. We will always be here remember that" Asher told his sister before taking her hand and walking into the hospital with her. If only Macey had known how much of a lie that statement would turn out to be.

Each of Roseanne's children was sent into the room to speak with their mother and say their goodbyes. Roseanne was weak but determined to have her time with her children. She had spent the day with her husband telling him her wishes and saying their goodbyes. He promised his wife to care for their children. She refused to go if he didn't and she was oh so tired and in so much pain. He could see it in his wife's eyes. He held onto the letters for his sons promising to give them to each of the children when it was time.

As Macey headed into the room she had tears in her eyes already. She hated seeing her mum like this. "Mummy" Macey cried rushing to her bed. "Don't go mummy please" Macey begged her mum. "Baby, it's my time. I wish I had more but my time is up. I am so proud of you Macey and I love you more than the entire solar system. Promise me you will be happy Macey. Promise me you will live your dreams and never let anyone stand in your way" Roseanne told her daughter. "I will mummy" Macey replied while crying. "Macey this box, I want you to keep it safe. There are special letters in there I have written and I want you to read them when the time is right. The letters will tell you when to read them. Don't let anyone take these from you, they are for you baby remember I love you and that you were so wanted" Roseanne said to Macey before kissing her on the head. "Send your dad in Macey," Roseanne told her daughter now struggling to breathe. "I love you mummy," Macey said before going out to tell her dad that mummy wanted him.

Macey and her brothers sat in the waiting room for close to two hours before their father came out of the room. "She's gone" he whispered out to his children before glaring at Macey. Macey silently sobbed to herself her mummy, her best friend was gone. She held the box her mum gave her tightly not wanting anyone to take it from her. "Let's go home" Peter told his children putting his arm around his youngest two sons while Asher took Macey in his car.

Once they got home Macey ran to her room to hide the box her mummy had given her. She hid it in the back of her closet before lying on her bed crying. Peter stayed downstairs with his sons comforting them. He was glad his daughter wasn't there because he couldn't stand to see her now. She looked like her mother and that angered him further. He had never wanted Macey but gave in when his wife wanted to try one last time for a girl. "It's just us now and we need to stick together boys. Your mother would want that" Peter told his sons. "I'll get Macey," Tyler said. "Leave her where she belongs" Peter bellowed. He didn't want to see her at all. "Dad she is hurting and doesn't understand, she is 7" Asher tried to reason. "I said leave her" he screamed causing his sons to frown.

That night no one checked on Macey, she stayed in her room alone and scared of what would happen now her mummy was gone. No one came to tuck her in like they usually did or kiss her goodnight. No one checked if she brushed her teeth. She was forgotten and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning her youngest brother checked on her and held her as she cried. He felt horrible but his father had not allowed them to check on Macey. He helped her to bath and made her some breakfast all before his father woke up. This was repeated for weeks, Macey wasn't allowed out of her room when her father was around. Macey would have an early breakfast and bath in the morning before one of her brothers took her to school before their father woke up. When she got home from school she had a quick dinner usually a sandwich and was sent to bed. If only that was what continued.